Book 4: Chapter 10
š¶ Day 3 <C> Private Meeting with Yuri Yanagi ā Yuri Yanagiās Room
The player is on their own.
They possess information that puts them alone at an advantage, and they canāt share it with the NPCs. In the end, the information is only good as ammo for deceiving the others.
So maybe itās a matter of course that the player ends up fighting a solo battle.
You kill the NPCs to survive, suppressing your guilt the entire way. Thatās how this game was meant to be played.
All the same, Iāve been trying to break this cycle. If I donāt, I canāt imagine being able to save Maria, and this Box will also probably break my will.
Stillāis what Iām attempting even possible?
In the system of Kingdom Royale, no one can make an ally of anyone else.
Gloomily, I enter Yuri Yanagiās room. She wonāt even make eye contact with me. Though I know itās pointless, I write a message to her in the notebook.
āā¦ā¦ā Yuri Yanagi tears off the paper, crumples it up, and tosses it away without even reading it.
It seems sheās through with me.
I bite my lip.
How can I gain control over her without communicating in words?
Should I do something that shows I still want to help her so that sheāll listen to me? ā¦Thatād never work. Even Iām beginning to doubt my own sincerity, so thereās no way Iād get through to her at this point.
āāā
I clench my fists and lower my head. Yuri notices my dejection, but thatās not enough to make her look at me.
Am I already out of moves to make?
Have I already failed?
Iroha is going to demand I join her Group during the upcoming <D> time block. If things go as she plans, Iāll have no hope of becoming the king.
I suddenly notice the notebook sitting on the table. Iām pretty sure itās Yuriās, and thereās something written in it:
āIroha is the Revolutionary.ā
I immediately understand the implication.
This is what Yuri is trying to tell me:
āIf I do anything funny, Iāll be killed.
Thatās most likely true. Iroha can say sheās going to take charge of everything here because she has no fear of dyingābecause sheās the Revolutionary, in other words. Plus, Iād hazard a guess that Yuri is the King or the Sorcerer. Once she knew the identity of these Classes, Iroha decided she had no worry of being murdered in Kingdom Royale.
If sheās capable of cutting off her own finger, she can also most likely decide to take my life if necessary.
I review my current situation. Iāve gone and made an enemy of pretty much everyone. Yuri, Iroha, and Koudai Kamiuchi are all hostile to me, and as always, I have no idea what Daiyaās thinking. I canāt even rely on Maria, who should be my one ally in all of this.
Under these circumstances, anything I try is going to backfire.
Have I lost all hope of becoming the king by now?
āā¦ā¦Damn.ā
I keep telling myself to not give up, but I canāt think of a way to reverse my situation. Itās irredeemable.
Eventually, I just fall to my knees on the spot.
I canāt do this anymore. Iāll let Iroha be the king. I donāt think things will turn out well for her, but itāll probably still go better than if I took the wheel. Iāll just count on the whims of Koudai Kamiuchi and Daiya, leave my fate to the heavens, and follow along with Irohaās plan.
Like some rock lying on the ground, Iāll just be here and do nothing.
Iā¦have lost.
I lift my head so I can ask Yuriās forgiveness.
Thatās when I see them. I see Yuriās eyes as she looks down on me blankly.
āI see her empty eyes.
āāOh.ā
And thatās how it suddenly dawns on me.
āYou hate their guts donāt you All those bastards who tricked you and butchered you Cāmon they were prepared to off you for their own survival Heh-heh-heh.ā
I suddenly know how to answer.
No. I donāt hate them. But⦠Iāll do whatever it takes to crush them and make them submit.
When I made Yuri suffer yesterday, I thought I was okay with defeating her because the Box had broken me.
That was wrong, though.
I understand now, clearly and without any doubts. I donāt need to be pointlessly kind to everyone, including the person before me. Theyāre all just NPCs.
I need to save everyone back in the real world.
āPlease kill me.ā
Thatās what the real Yuri said to me during the second game. The Game of Indolence had made her so desperate, she felt she had to say that to me.
But was the Game of Indolence the only reason she suffered so much?
No. She had brought something in with her from the real world that caused her pain. I know that now, because I learned it within the confines of this horrible, pointless Box.
Nothing can change what has already come to pass. Thereās no salvation for Yuri now that she has killed Iroha and the others.
But perhaps I can analyze, dissect, and remove what she brought in with her from the real world.
If I do that, wonāt it free her from a little of her suffering?
Thatās why I will win.
I couldnāt care less about crushing her as an NPC.
Thatās my proof that Iām firmly grounded in reality, in normality. Itās my proof that this stupid Game of Indolence hasnāt defeated me.
This meansā
āHeh-heh.ā
āI havenāt lost at all.
I stand up.
In this game, the player is definitely on their own. I donāt care if Iām alone or whatever, though.
No matter how hopeless the situation, Iām the only one who can destroy the Game of Indolence. No one can save all the others except for me.
If thatās the caseā¦Iāll do it.
Iāll stArt_by forcing Yuri to submit to me, and then Iāll save everyone.
āā¦What are you smiling about?ā
Yuri is still looking at me with those hollow eyes.
Thank you. Those eyes helped me realize itāthe source of Yuriās suffering lies in her familiarity with suppressing her true feelings. Iām now sure I want to do something about it, too.
Still smiling, I deliberately and violently tear off the sheet of paper with āIroha is the Revolutionaryā written on it and rip it up loudly before her eyes.
The hollowness changes to surprise.
Yeah, thatās the ticket. This is good.
I wonāt ever let your eyes turn empty again.
āYuri Yanagi.ā
The blunt manner of address makes Yuri look at me, her eyes wide.
āYou will become nourishment for the real Yuri,ā I tell her.
I can predict how the Yuri I know so well will react.
āā¦ā¦Oh.ā
Yep, the coward has gone white. You wonāt be able to ignore me now, will you?
āTo that end, Iām going to destroy the Group Iroha made. The first thing Iām going to do now is implement a plan to make you leave it.ā
Yuri is speechless for a few long seconds, but then she tries to protest.
āWh-what are youā? Thereās no reason I would leave. As if I even could.ā
āI said Iām going to make you leave it.ā
āIf you say thatā¦I-Iroha will kill you, you knowā¦? She might really do it⦠No, she actually will, okay?ā
Yuri is too flustered to worry about Iroha hearing this conversation.
āI know.ā
āThenāthen why are you saying it?! Itās like committing suicide!ā
āBecause Iām going to take down Iroha, too, of course. She wonāt kill me if I do that,ā I say.
Yuriās eyes go round.
She shakes her head violently.
āThatās⦠Thatās not possible. Donāt you understand how well I know thisā¦?ā
Yeahā
There it is.
Iāve finally found the pus within her, the source of her suffering.
āSo if I defeat Irohaā¦ā¦ā
The reason why her eyes turn empty. Itāsā
āIf I defeat Iroha, will you be able to overcome your jealousy of her?ā
āher feelings of inferiority toward Iroha.
Itās a sentiment I understand very easily as a companion of Daiyaās and Mariaās. Iām constantly surrounded by reminders that I will never be their equal, and the fear of mistakenly assuming my existence is worthless compared with theirs.
This is even worse for Yuri, who unlike me takes second place. Just knowing she could feasibly catch up must be frustrating.
Sheās so close but never seems to cross the gap between her and Iroha Shindo.
How painful it must be to be reminded of it.
āSomeone as stupid as I am should have just stayed quiet⦠Iām sorry for any confusion.ā
She called herself stupid during the first game. Though she seems incredible and brilliant enough from my point of view, she never has any confidence in herself.
Because in her heart, she compares herself with someone she can never measure up against.
āāOh.ā
Iām sure she must be aware of this herself.
Yuri seems so shaken I almost pity her, and she stands there trembling.
āYou wanted to beat Iroha no matter what, didnāt you?ā I say, and her shoulders jump. āYou wanted to beat Iroha. You wanted to best her for so long. Thatās why you wanted to beat her in this game, too. You thought that if you could get her to act according to your plan, maybe you could call it a form of victory, so you decided to make it happen.ā
When Yuri was the player, Iām sure the reason she deceived Iroha and went out of her way to wound her with the revelation about her ex-boyfriend was that she wanted to experience the feeling of beating her rival.
āWh-why are you talking like you knowā?ā
The panic on her face as she denies this is easy to read, and it has no hint of her usual shrewd acting.
āBut while things did go as you had intended, in the end, you still didnāt feel like youād won.ā
āā!!ā
āYou were overwhelmed, after all. When Iroha was willing to cut off her own finger, the jaw-dropping nature of that actāthe difference between her resolve and yoursāreminded you that your miserable little plan could never compete with hers.ā
āā¦ā¦Stop it.ā
āOnce you knew how incredible she was, all you could think of was relying on her to get through this alive, yet another reminder of how far she rises above you and your cowardice.ā
āStop.ā
āYou woke up to the reality that you never had a chance against her in the first place, no matter what you tried. After all, you learned that victory wouldnāt be enough to dispel your inferiority complex; it didnāt vanish even when you stole the boy she had feelings for.ā
āI told you to stop it!ā she shrieks, and pain runs through my cheek.
ā¦Did she just slap me?
I canāt believe it for a moment. I mean, did Yuri just hit me? Yuri, the one with more self-control than anyone else?
Yuri is wide-eyed, seemingly more shocked by her own actions than anyone. She stares at the hand that slapped me, opening and closing it repeatedly.
āāOh.ā
Her shoulders begin to shake.
āI-Iām sorrāā
Before she can finish, tears are welling up in her eyes.
āā¦ā¦I-Iām sorry. But pleaseā¦just stop⦠Donāt say such horrible things anymore⦠Please donāt hurt me any more⦠Please⦠Please.ā
Iām sure itās painful.
It must hurt to confront such ugly emotions head-on like this.
She couldnāt even say these things when her deceptions during the second game came to light.
Butā¦
āI canāt.ā
ā¦none of that matters.
In fact, itās precisely why I have to keep going.
āNgh⦠Aaahā¦ā
My cold response makes Yuri crouch down and begin to cry, hiding her face.
āIf I turn back now, I wonāt be able to help the real you. Itās okay if you cover your face, but donāt plug your ears.ā
āU-uuuhhā¦ā
Of course, my chest aches when I see her suffer like this. But my feelings donāt matter, either.
āIām talking about what happened during the second game when you were in my position.ā
Now comes the finishing blow.
āYuri, you killed Iroha.ā
Her sobs come to a halt, and she looks up at me with red eyes.
āā¦ā¦Wh-what are you sayingā¦?ā
I donāt grant her a response.
āā¦M-me? Kill Irohaā¦? Thereās no way I would do something so extreme! I⦠I am an underhanded personā¦but I could never do something like that!ā
This is definitely coming straight from her heArt_of hearts. Iām sure itās true. The only reason she could do such a thing is because she was the player while the rest of us, including Iroha, were NPCs.
However, she still murdered her.
Iroha is now aware that Yuri is a despicable girl who deceived and murdered her.
Nothing will ever change that fact.
As skilled as she is at reading othersā faces, Yuri must be able to tell from mine that Iām not lying about her killing Iroha. She doesnāt say anything else and simply sits there, distracted, tears running down her face.
I keep up the pressure.
āYuri. Iāll explain in more detail later, but you and Iroha both won the game when you were the player, so youāre already set to make it out alive.ā
Yuri responds slightly to my statement. It seems she understands me, so I keep going.
āBut the way things are now, Iroha knows you murdered her, and she isnāt going to forgive you. And you wonāt be able to forgive yourself for doing it. You will have survived, but in the end, you wonāt ever be happy. This may be hard to believe, but I want to do something about that.ā
I put it out there.
āI have an idea of what we can do.ā
Though her tears are still flowing, Yuri looks at me as she appears to come back to her senses.
āYou need to reach a certain point. During this round of Kingdom Royale, the two of you need to confess your feelings toward each other, help each other in spite of them, and reach a point where you have a relationship of mutual trust. If the two of you can rely on each other even in this game, then Iām confident youāll be fine from here on out. Iroha should forgive you.ā
I say the next pArt_slowly.
āThatās why you have to tell her all of it. You have to put everything you feel toward Iroha into words.ā
I wait for Yuriās response.
After a period of silence, she finally opens her mouth to speak.
āā¦ā¦I donāt understand,ā she replies flatly. āI have no idea what you mean when you say that Iroha and I have already survived or that weāll be saved if we can trust each other.ā
āā¦I see.ā
Thatās fair enough. She knows next to nothing about the real situation, so it makes sense that what I said wouldnāt hit home.
āButāā
I raise my head when I hear a contradictory conjunction.
A faint smile has appeared on Yuriās face.
āāI donāt need to understand, not now. I canāt stand thinking such horrible things just to stay alive⦠Iām through with it.ā
Saying this, she suddenly throws her arms around me.
āSoā¦can I rely on you?ā
The strength of her embrace is painfulāshe isnāt holding back.
She canāt depend on strength so great and unmoderated.
That observation surprises me.
Yuri fought on in her own way all alone, no matter how much suffering it brought her. She always seemed so anxious and uneasy, and through it all, this girl still persevered without losing hope. When she was the player, the guilt of deceiving, cornering, and killing the NPCs threatened to crush her, but in the end, she still managed to recover her will to fight and win.
Thatās the strong girl Yuri Yanagi is.
āHelpā¦me.ā
And yet, the only option she has now is to trust in me.
All she can do is cling to the faint hope in front her, unable to exert any control.
In that way, she is just the tiniest bit similar to her.
To Nana Yanagi.
āOkay. Iāll help you.ā
But I wonāt get āYuriā and āYanagiā mixed up in my mind, not anymore.
In order to help the Yuri here with me now, I return her embrace and tell her:
āI swearāI will help everyone.ā
