[312] 4.33 Departure
I go through the motions of my Wednesday morning class. As I speak for an audience of thousands, I try to remain present-focused and avoid thinking too much about what’s about to happen. But even as I stand on the stage to give my lecture, my mind keeps spiraling elsewhere.
One of the challenges of having such a high [Mind] stat while dealing with chronic anxiety. Even while carrying on one conversation, thinking about my lecture tomorrow, and designing some one-time use spells with my offhand in the middle of my speech, I still have plenty of mental bandwidth. Nearly all of it finds its way to thoughts of Chloe and Alicia, about the operation, Project Seraphina, the other Seraphina… Deep breaths help chill the physical sensations of anxiety, but the stress just continues to mount in my blood.
My old self had some ability to override autonomic physical processes. Maybe if I had that Skill myself, I wouldn’t feel so on edge, a mass of dynamite just waiting for a fuse to ignite. Out of fear that I might do so, I focus ever more intently on my breathing, going through more exercises that are supposed to help me focus and ground me to the moment. But it proves more difficult with every level.
My ears are sharp enough to hear the conversations twenty rows in the back, process them. Discussions about math assignments and reading homework. My eyes are sharp enough to recognize one student in row thirteen along the aisle in front of stage right working on calculus homework. Should be a two times epsilon in the fourth line of the problem… Ah, he figured it out.
I’m even going so far as to try to mentally fatigue myself now, so I’ll be able to sleep and thus be ready for Thursday afternoon. I Manifest new glyph networks in my mind, constructing them together, analyzing their structure, potential functionality, stability, potential opportunities for further refinement. Then I allow their structures to dissolve harmlessly into the recesses of my mind, never to affect the outside world.
This seems to help, at least a little. At the very least, I feel like I’m doing something productive rather than worrying incessantly. My mechanical hand goes to my heart as I try and fail to project an air of confidence to Chloe. She’s even more nervous than I am, but like me, is doing the best she can.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I tell her. “We’re going to be okay, and Mom’s gonna be okay, and we’ll see her again soon.”
“Thanks, Sera.”
I’m sure a few perceptive students in the audience notice the odd display of body language in what should otherwise be a fairly casual, relaxed lecture about the different kinds of classes currently known. As long as there’s no one with a [Mind Reading] Skill strong enough to get through both [Valkyrion’s Perception] and [Defiant Spirit], though, I don’t worry too much about it.
“And that’s all the time we have for today,” I say as the clock strikes 9:15. “I will be around for a few minutes after class if you have any questions about your own Skills or potential classes you want to pursue. Otherwise, thank you all for coming, and I hope to see you back here next Monday.”
Only two students approach, a man and a woman, both about my age. Actually, now that I think about it, the girl with the red hair seems familiar to me. Oh my goodness, it is…
“Rain? Is that you?”
“Sera? I thought I recognized you, but I was like, no way, that couldn’t be her. And then here you are! I can’t believe it!”
I lower my guard just a bit; the idea that it’s someone impersonating my old friend from high school does occur to me. But as long as I keep the conversation superficial, I shouldn’t run any undue risks. Just gotta keep keeping an eye out for spies.
“Yeah, I can’t believe it either, but here I am. Just… It’s funny the way life works sometimes. One thing leads to another and next thing you know, you’re out here lecturing about the System because who else is going to do it?” I blush just a hair.
“I’m surprised Chloe isn’t with you. The two of you were practically inseparable.”
“Chloe, Rain from high school just came up to say hi. She’s asking about you.”
“Oh? I wish I could come see her, but I’m dealing with a particularly stubborn case at the moment. Healing and regrowing gangrenous limbs; trust me, you don’t wish you were seeing this. Anyway, I hope she’s doing well and maybe when things quiet down, we can do lunch to catch up.”
“Great. Love you too, Chloe. Talk with you tonight.”
“Unfortunately, she’s busy at the hospital today.”
“Wait, what? Did something happen to her?”
“Same thing that happened to me.” I pause a beat. “Dropped out of high school right before graduation and went into the workforce. She took a healer class, and mine is more research focused, so we both kinda fell into our respective jobs.”
“Doesn’t sound so bad,” Rain says.
“For the most part, I’d say it’s worked out well for both of us. It sounded like she was going to be busy today, otherwise, I’m sure she wishes she could catch up with you sometime, too.”
“So, wait, are you two like, living together or something?”
I chuckle. “We do indeed live together now. There was some awkwardness at times, but it’s worked out well for both of us over these past few months.”
“Hold on, Sera. So are you and Chloe living together as friends, or–”
“I’m surprised you haven’t seen the two of them on the news, Rae,” the man who I presume is her boyfriend says. Considering their hands not-so-’accidentally’ brushing up against one another, I’m guessing they’re either dating or there’s about to be a real awkward conversation in their near future.
“On the news?”
He pulls out his phone; thanks to [Valkyrion’s Perception], it’s easy to see the video someone took of the fight against Forneith despite the screen facing fully away from me. Rain’s eyes widen throughout the scene, and just about pop out of their sockets at the sight of the photo of Chloe and I kissing on the State Capitol grounds, her middle finger extended for the world to see.”
“I–” Rain stares speechless. “I– I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s actually kinda refreshing to know that at least one person in the city doesn’t have their eyes glued to every little thing she and I are doing. It’s nice to maintain the façade of privacy.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t know,” Rain’s boyfriend says.
“Oh hush, Leonard. You know that neither of them are on social media and most of my time is spent watching dungeon crawlers on TikTok.” Rain turns to me. “I’m surprised you two haven’t put any videos up, given how popular you both seem to be.”
“Not really my style, but if the teaching gig heads south, we’ll keep it in mind.” How internet advertising and sponsorships work now, I have no idea. Maybe adventurer organizations sponsor these people? Then again, if Rain is watching these videos, maybe– I choose not to think about it too much.
Rain looks down at her phone, then her face turns ashen. “Oh, sorry, I think we’re already gonna be late to our next class. Sorry to run off so soon, but–”
I pull a piece of paper out of my [Inventory] and scrawl down, “Rain was speaking with me after class; please excuse her tardiness. S. Mortensen.” Then I hand it to her. Maybe it’s a bit improper, but I don’t want to be seen as the stodgy old professor when I’m not even old enough to drink. Besides, why go through all the work of being an instructor if I can’t occasionally pull rank and bend the rules for an old friend?
“Yeah, I should get going too,” I say. “And if there’s a time coming up when Chloe and I are both free, we can meet up for lunch or something. Just, you know, keep in touch.”
“Well, I’m in your class, so I plan to do so.”
I smile as I take my leave, an old friend and her boyfriend at my back.
An uneventful Wednesday turns into a Wednesday evening, and from then, into Thursday. If not for scheduled office hours, I think I’d much rather just not show up until right before class. But Clara was insistent that we play our roles perfectly; assume every cloud had eyes and every wall and ceiling tile had ears until proven otherwise, and not even then.
Chloe and I haven’t even been able to talk about things back at home. [Angelic Bond], best Skill of all time, still allows us to share our thoughts and feelings with each other, but sometimes, formulating the words and speaking them aloud is a catharsis all its own, and one presently denied to me.
So instead, despite my mind being elsewhere, I make my way across town once more and touch down on campus at quarter to noon. I’m not sure which I want more: A line of students out my door or the bliss of solitude with which I could steep my racing thoughts. Honestly, both of them sound pretty terrible on this blistering Thursday afternoon. Alas, I’m trying to play the role of a good little responsible member of adult society, so I mentally steel myself for whatever fate has in play for me.
More reporters. I should have known. More reporters asking more stupid questions. What happened to the demon from last week? Dead, never to return. My plans for the weekend? My own damned business, not the general public’s, though I had to couch it as ‘please respect my and my family’s privacy during these trying times’. Because yes, Mom’s kidnapping was a topic of conversation for these leeches. I demurred on all discussions of the topic. Anything I said would be used against me, whether by Clara, by Nicholas, or by the many, many people listening in at home.
In contrast to dealing with the paparazzi— I mean, the press, as though there’s a difference— class itself is orderly and, dare I say, actually enjoyable. Just a lecture on spellcraft, covering the seven elements and some of my preliminary hypotheses on multielemental combinations. I guess it’s true that passion and flow really do help to still a restless mind; they certainly have for me..
Class ends uneventfully at the proper time. The tingle on the back of my neck alerts me to Clara’s obscured presence behind a starlit veil even before I have consciously processed the woman-sized gap in the detection radius of [Valkyrion’s Presence]. No one else notices a thing once again, something which gives me confidence. If her anti-detection Skill is so powerful that even I can only barely see it, then perhaps her entire plan just might have a chance of success.
Like this past Tuesday, I make my way down to my office, trailed by the unseen operative. Chloe is there waiting for me, and I shoot her a telepathic message to act casual, not that I expect it to work if we really are being watched.
“Wait.” Clara’s voice is just a whisper, but it carries enough weight to freeze me in my tracks. She slips past me as I’m about to open my door, approaching Chloe.
I fear the worst and steel myself for battle; if she even thinks to harm one hair on Chloe’s head, I–. I shake my head. Definitely a sign the stress is getting to me.
Clara casually ‘bumps’ into Chloe, although it appears there’s more to the unwelcome gesture as she shows me a tiny microphone embedded in her robes. I hadn’t noticed the miniscule device myself, no larger than a flea. I know not how it was constructed, but there were no Etheric fluctuations to give it away. The transponder— which Clara crushes in her hand— must’ve been made of purely conventional technology, certainly an oddity in this day and age.
She gives me a knowing glance through her veil, as though to say ‘I told you so’. I can only shrug in resigned acceptance. And then, without further ado, the three of us make our way upstairs, out of the building, and to an unmarked black vehicle waiting in the adjacent parking lot.