Heartworm

Had I not witnessed the drowned city and its piscine people with our own eyes, I would not believe any of what you claim.

‘But you know it’s true. The presence of the whole underwater society, and the encounter with a strange Deathless some sixty years ago.’

I do not know for certain, little morsel. I am simply levying a modicum of trust in your story. I find it hard to believe a Deathless would have discovered a city within the lake decades ago and not mention it a single time.

‘It doesn’t have to make sense for it to be true, Lilith. Our entire intertwined existence is hard to believe, but I know from every bitchy quip of yours that it’s true.’

What name does this Deathless hold?

‘Snug. That was the name you probably heard in the courtroom.’

That is not a Deathless name.

‘No. It was chosen by its mother while it was young in Uroro.’

You did not mention additional Deathless in the lake-city until now.

‘The mother was Crutia.’

Your mouth forms meaningless words to slap against my mind.

‘That’s what they’re called. The people in Uroro are Crutia.’

The piscine woman that splashes through the water beside me? She is Crutia?

‘Her name is Nessyndra, but whatever floats your boat I guess.’

If we were only so lucky to have a vessel to traverse the lake with. This woman, the Crutia mother, took in a Deathless child as her own? Was she attempting to mold the child to her own proclivities?

‘She was motivated by nothing more than love, Lilith. I’m sure that’s hard for you to wrap your murderous mind around, but she just wanted to rescue a child. From what I’ve been able to gather, they only became aware of the classification of Deathless decades after Snug had fled Uroro.’

This Deathless, it lives with the mother up here on the surface somewhere?

‘That was the dream for them.. But their dream turned into a nightmare. She died when Snug suffered another emotional explosion. Or whatever you Deathless call it.’

Emotional explosion?

‘Yeah, I don’t know the official term for it, Lilith. You call me a fledgling all day long but then act shocked when I don’t understand it all yet.’

Deathless do not suffer from… emotional explosions. Unless you are painting a very sloppy picture of going feral with your words?

‘No, it wasn’t going feral. It was… excreting this kind of green blight from its skin. Whatever it was, it decayed living matter faster than anything else I’ve seen. Must be Snug’s specialization. You mentioned how you specialize in blood magic or whatever, this one could just be more capable with… pestilence or whatever it was.’

That is not within the realm of Deathless. A green sickness? That cannot be right…

‘Maybe a different subsection? Its skin was a pale white if that helps. Could just be this region's Deathless.’

White skin?! You do not describe any Deathless I know, or have ever known. Are you sure that you were witness to one of our kin, little morsel?

‘I’m pretty sure Snug was a Deathless. I saw it regenerate before my own eyes. Or- someone else’s eye but I had some pretty good front row seats. As far as I remember Snug was-’

Yes? Snug was what? Where have you gone, little morsel?

‘Ask Nessyndra a question for me. Ask her if danuit cakes are made of meat.’

Danuit? I don’t know if my tongue maneuvers in such a way to pronounce that, but I will try.

“Piscine Nessyndra. May I ask a question?” I attempted to address the woman in the more cordial way that I could imagine. She had remained quiet for the last hour of our swim.

“My ears yearn for any and all questions!” The woman turned her head to look at me while we swam. Her glossy eyes focused on my face. Was she suspicious of me? I had spoken merely seven words to her, there was no way that she could have pieced anything together in that time.

“Are danuit cakes made of meat?”

“Why would they be? Crutia are strictly vegetarians. We spoke about this before when I got you that poor fish. Did the soulstone displace that memory from your mind?” The fish woman seemed confused that I would ask the question. If the little morsel had set me up to ask a foolish question than I would find a way to make her pa-

‘Snug wasn’t a Deathless! Or at least, not fully. I watched it eat danuit cakes in the memories, but it never had a bad reaction.’

I am truly baffled by your ignorance, little morsel. To think you would see a white skinned creature with sickly green magic eating plant cakes and think it was a Deathless.

‘But it looks identical to other Deathless, save the color of its skin. I watched it come back to life, I watched it grow into features of a Deathless! You would understand if you saw Snug, Lilith. I don’t know if it was some kind of half-breed or-’

There are none. Perish the thought from your mind, Ester.

‘How can you be sure? There’s so much to Kistram! Why couldn’t there be a type of Deathless that you’re unaware of! I saw it with my own eyes, Lilith, and it felt like kin to me. There could be some variation of Deathless in the corner of the Kingdom that-’

I will not linger on this subject. You will stay silent for as long as I continue to tread water, or I will let our body sink into the depths of the lake.

* * * * *

If Lilith’s wish was to make the last two hours of swimming to the shore a miserably silent and awkward affair, it had certainly been granted. We only exchanged a few words here and there, with conversations lasting a maximum of one minute before the crushing weight of her earlier demands pushed our conversation back into the dark depths below us.

At least it was behind us now. When we reached the shore, Lilith quickly returned control of our body to me and retreated into the back of my mind. Either to sulk, or beat up an imaginary Ester-shaped mannequin in the back of my mind. Whatever it was she decided to do when she was upset with me for reasons I could only vaguely grasp at. Just before we reached the shore, I saw Nessyndra pull a strange piece of jewelry from her bag. It resembled a thin kind of crown as she placed it atop her head.

Though Lilith might have been seething in the back of my mind, Nessyndra was anything but sulking.

“AHHHH!!!!! THIS IS DIVINITY IF EVER THERE WAS!” She exclaimed, swishing her scaled feet through the patch of grass that she stood atop. She spun her body around, as if twirling a skirt. “I’m free to explore! To learn! Is there anything more beautiful than that?”

“To learn is to live, to live is to learn.” I chimed in an almost instinctual response. It was a common saying within the halls of Varenthell Academy. It was an unofficial slogan or sorts, used as a motto by many professors before they would begin classes.

“Yes! Oh how beautiful a phrase! Do you think yourself a poet, Ester?” Nessyndra asked as she knelt down onto the ground to brush her scaled hands, webbed between digits, through the blades of grass to feel them on her fingers.

“In another life, maybe. That was just a saying from my school.” I replied as I also knelt into the dirt of the shore. I was looking for something entirely different, however. Where Nessyndra relished in a plethora of new experiences, I searched in hope for a macabre discovery. Cecelia was bleeding profusely the last I saw her. If Phern and Sebil had made it to the other side of the lake, they would have certainly left a trail of blood on their way into the forest. It would be difficult to see, but I was instead relying on my intensely acute sense of smell. My plan was to walk the shore of the lake until we found where they made land.

“It sounds like a delightful place! Could you take me there after we find your lover?” Nessyndra asked, filled to the brim with excitement for every discovery, no matter how small.

“It’s not as great as it sounds…” I could already feel myself slipping into unwanted memories. I needed something to capture my mind away from the pain it trotted towards. “That crown of yours, what is it?” I asked, finally deciding to ask about the crown that she had silently adorned.

“This is an antique! A possession of a royal family from a long time ago in Uroro. From an age before we isolated ourselves completely from the surface.” Nessyndra turned towards me and bowed her head at me to allow me a better look at her beautiful crown. It was fairly thin, made primarily with a wiry substance. Due to its color, my heart urged towards believing it was silver. My brain, however, would not make that logical leap. It was unlikely Crutia had any access to silver.

“Did you steal that? Is that why you waited until now to put it on?”

“Do you think of me as a thieving type, Ester? I only put it on now, because it is to help me survive on the surface. See?” Nessie pointed towards the crown once more. This time, as I stared into the circular intertwining silver (possibly), a thin sheet of water began to coalesce in the center. In the empty space between the edges of the crown, a suspended layer of water formed and dispersed across Nessyndra’s head. The water spilled over her face, and down her body in a steady stream. Like the gentle glaze of flowing water over rocks in a shallow river. “This crown takes the moisture from the air, and supplies with constant nourishment on the surface so that I do not become too dry.”

“Oh. Oh!” The crown was brilliant! The idea of converting the moisture in the air to a layer of water that could be steadily dispersed across her body was genius. “That’s fascinating! How come it isn’t a standard adornment amongst Crutia?”

“There is no need for this nourishment in Uroro. The plenda barriers moisturize our bodies more than enough. Besides, if everyone had a crown with such an enchantment, the air would become far too arid. I doubt anyone would notice that I stole this crown.”

“Stole?! You just said that you weren’t a thief!”

“I did not say that. I asked you if you thought I was the thieving type? I was curious.”

“That’s… that feels deceptively phrased, Nessyndra.”

“Then I will clarify! I do not steal often. But this is royal property, so if you were to be pedantic, I might not have stolen it to begin with.” Nessyndra gave a wide smile.

“Right… I know you’re very excited about being on the surface now, and I don’t want to quash all of that, but you know the time restrictions I’m working with.”

“Of course! I will have ample time to explore and learn at a later time! I agreed to help you find your love, and I will do just that.” Nessyndra shot up from the ground, ignoring the amount of grass that had stuck to her slimy skin. “What would you have me do?”

“We’re looking for some blood, or signs of a boat, whichever comes first. In order to save time, I saw we split up along the lakefront and signal each other if we find something. Can you get that done?” I asked.

“It is done as good as I am done!” Nessyndra replied, a heartfelt smile accompanying her puzzling words. While they made little sense to me, they made sense enough to understand that she agreed to the plan. Almost as soon as she agreed to the plan, she twisted around to start patrolling the lakefront behind her.

“Wait! We need a signal. I can probably manage some kind of howl to signal you to come my way. But I’m not sure what you could do in return to signal me.” I asked as I wracked my own mind for an idea. I wasn’t sure what kind of sound she could make if she screamed, but it could potentially be enough to reach my ears wherever I was. “I will simply click our sibling shells. It would be much more discreet and consistent than you screaming into the stars above.” Nessyndra explained, once more using words that made little to no sense to me.

“Sibling shells?”

“My gift to you, when we spoke in the lake that night?”

“Oh. Oh!” I rummaged through my pocket to find the small shell. It was just as beautiful as the last time I set my sights on it. It had the unique features of counterclockwise ridges on one side, with clockwise ridges on the other. “I completely forgot about this shell, to be honest.”

“While the shell might have slipped from your mind, its machinations were ever important within that trial.” Nessyndra explained. Upon seeing my befuddled reaction, she mercifully continued to explain further. “I gave it to you as a charm of kismet. I was under the impression the strange coin you gave to me in return was also meant to bolster my luck?”

“It’s a lucky charm? I thought it was just a pretty shell. Admittedly that coin was just meant to be payment for the gift.”

“Drylings pay for gifts? Are they not meant to be gifted without expectation of compensation?”

“No, they’re meant to be free! I just… I don’t know, I feel guilty when I receive a gift. I thought I should give something in exchange. So I gave a coin. You could think of it like a charm of luck if that helps.” Perhaps it was weird to respond in such a way, but receiving gifts had never sat right with me. Gifts were not merely gestures of kindness in Varenthell. They were statements, threats, or suggestions. A gift always came with a cost.

“Perhaps I will. We made it through the trial with your head firmly attached to your body, and I believe that required a great deal of luck.”

“I still don’t understand how your charm of kismet is meant to signal one another.”

“It is a charm of kismet, but it is also a sibling shell. They are strange pieces of chitin that hold magic. It is said they are the remnants of magical creatures in the depths of the lake. Depths that even Crutia rarely venture into. The shell will float up to Uroro on occasion, and they are given out as trinkets, usually to siblings within a family. Hence the name. They are unique due to their bound nature. What happens to one sibling shell, will happen to its kin. If you tap one, the other feels the impact. If you boiled one, the other would grow just as hot. If one breaks, the other shares the same fate.” The explanation of the shells was fascinating. Even with the scattered memories of one woman’s life in Uroro, it felt like there was so much more to uncover within their culture. The mythology they learn and teach about the depths of the lake was beautiful in its own alluring way. It was soaked in extensive unknowable circumstances. A people that attempted to unravel the unknowns around them. No different from the curiosities that I exhibited on the surface.

“I take it you have the sibling shell to mine?” I asked as I thumbed the ridges of the shell in my hand. I was far too interested in the functionality of the shells to let it go unexperimented. Besides, it was necessary in order to ensure we had a way to contact one another.

“A shell to share a watery womb!” She pulled out an identical shell from her pocket and tapped it against a small rock in the dirt below her. Sure enough, as she tapped the shell, my own shell felt the same impact.

“Then it sounds like we have a plan. The first sign of my friends warrants a signal. We will find Cecelia tonight. I’m not sleeping until I do…” The black sky did its best to beckon me to sleep, but I had no intentions of obeying. I would sooner keep myself awake with an assortment of injuries than allow myself to sleep. I needed to find Cecelia. At all costs.

* * * * *

I couldn’t imagine that Nessyndra was making progress as quickly as I was. I felt at home in the dark of the night. The air that brushed past my nose carried scents of all sorts of different creatures. Some far more recent than others, close enough that if I decided to initiate a hunt, it would be over within thirty seconds. I couldn’t allow any distractions to cloud my mind. All I needed was the smallest hint of her scent. Just one flicker of blood to meet my nose, and I would be able to close in on her.

As the minutes stretched on, desperation began to set into my bones. It stuck to my limbs like lacquer, brushing doubt into my heart that I wouldn’t ever be able to catch her scent. It was almost a comfort to not smell her blood. Almost. While I didn’t want to smell her blood and be reminded of her perilous state, I needed to know where she was.

‘You do not handle loss particularly well, little morsel. I urge you to proceed carefully. We cannot handle your feral side awakening again. The cost of putting it to sleep again is too great to pay at the moment.’

Silent for hours, back to chide? You operate like a machine sometimes, Lilith.

‘Were it not significant, I would have remained silent, rest assured. You continually forget that your actions hold consequences for two individuals.’

I can’t stop myself from fearing for her, Lilith. I need to know she’s safe. I will not let her die.

‘I understand your desire to save her, but you mustn’t be so desperate to do so that you risk doing something reckless.’

You wouldn’t act recklessly for someone that you love?

‘I would not let myself become feral again to save someone I love. It only hurts more than it helps. I do not make mistakes a second time.’

Again? Did you go feral to save Calliope? Is that what happened?

‘How do you know her name?!’

Lilith’s voice felt like knives behind my eyes, gently cutting in places blades should never reach.

Fuck! Watch yourself, you narcissistic demon bitch! I saw one of your memories when I died! It was Calliope and Sebil. Why didn’t you tell me you had a sister?

‘That is not your information to know, Ester. Leave this talk underfoot before you come to regret it.’

You pry into my past all the time! You’ve witnessed more private thoughts than anyone else I’ve known! Your filthy Deathless claws have been deep in my memories this entire time, but I can’t talk about this one memory of yours?

Lilith’s next words hemorrhaged through my mind in wracking waves. Each word crashing into a split mind with such force that I was immediately dropped to my knees on the lakeshore. I had faced Lilith’s scorn many times before, but I had never experienced a pain like this from her. A sharpened array of agony danced across my mind as I howled into the dirt beneath me. Begging for mercy, a relief from the demon that I was forced to share a mind with.

‘You witness a dance never meant to be seen. A relationship that lives in a time I will never again step into. Those are MINE to forget, MINE to bury, and MINE alone. You will not speak of her again.’

A sharp claw sunk gently into the soft skin of my neck. Only deep enough to just draw a slight stream of blood down the length of the claw. My claw. Lilith had subsumed control over my right arm during my shaking fit in the dirt. Lilith did not need to speak again to explain the threat. It was clear as the light that shone from the bright moon above. A threat that she wouldn’t hesitate to act upon if I discussed her sister again. The stench of my blood wrenched nostalgic tears from my eyes. The smell was of a campfire in the cold night, the kind that could war against the biting cold to keep you comfortable.

A campfire? That wasn’t the stench of my own blood, I was more than accustomed to what my own blood smelled like. This smelled like warmth, and ashen comfort. Like Cecelia.

I had her scent. She was nearby. With no hesitation, I slipped my left hand into my pocket to grasp the sibling shell and slammed it into a nearby rock three times.