Heartworm

“Your creature. It cannot stay.” The Drulama decreed. From his position as head of the Drula, the words he spoke were essentially law. The only semblance of power higher than him was the king of Uroro. Despite that being my own husband, it wasn’t intended for the king to interfere with the Drula’s rulings. I was almost certain that the Drulama himself had conflicting feelings about putting the king’s wife on trial. Though I supposed that wasn’t entirely accurate. I was not the one on trial. It was my child, Snug, that was being faced with potential punishment. Something which I found myself defending for the past hour to the entirety of the Drula.

“My creature? It is only mine in the sense that I foster its growth through love and care like any other parent. Please do not speak of Snug as if it’s my possession.” I firmly stated, resisting the urge once more to reach out to my nearby child. Snug was shaking relentlessly just a few feet away. I knew it wasn’t a matter of temperature that caused the jittering. Snug wore the same clothes that it always wore, which it had told me was plenty warm enough for the temperatures of Uroro. The shaking was undoubtedly a result of being subject to a little over an hour of accusations.

“Regardless of how you would like to classify it, Cyndri, it is a threat. Those afflicted from the incident in the market have yet to make a recovery. We do not understand it, or the sickness it brought. We cannot heal what we cannot understand.”

“We do not understand it yet. We might find some cure to the sickness before it causes any further harm. Not even Snug knew what happened during the incident! Clearly it was unintentional, and a result of feeling attacked in the market.”

“Unintentional or not, we cannot afford to let a creature live amongst us when it has the capability of such uncontrolled destruction.”

I was running out of responses to the arguments that the Drulama presented. I knew that Snug was innocent. So much so that I would stake my life on the line in a heartbeat. But my trust in Snug meant nothing to the Drula. Each of them stared unmoving at the shaking form of my child as it tilted it’s head down towards the floor. I had taught Snug enough Crutian at this point for it to understand the majority of the words being said. Words that affected Snug with visible tension.

Proper decorum was wearing my patience thin. I was seriously considering the idea of having a discussion with my husband later this evening to force him to overturn whatever decision they would make here. It’d be history for a king or queen to overrule the Drula’s decision, but who didn’t want their name is a history book for doing a ‘first’?

“I respect the care you hold for this creature Cyndri. But you must understand the fear that rolls through each whorl of Uroro following that incident.” One of the younger members of the Drula spoke up. Stucill if I remembered correctly. He is the second youngest Crutian to be appointed to the Drula in Uroro’s history.

“I understand the fear. What I don’t understand is the reaction to this fear. You seek to rid yourself of what you fear entirely. Why not attempt to understand it first? You might not be so scared of it once you take the time to learn.” I knew it wasn’t exactly the most professional action to take in the midst of the Drula, but I moved closer to Snug to pull it into a tight embrace. The looks amongst the Drula could not have been more different from one another if they tried. I suppose that’s a good thing. Having some sympathizers was preferable to none.

“You are asking for an immense level of trust from us, Cyndri. You put Uroro at risk with your gamble. Do you understand that?”

“I think compassion is worth that risk. If our people are unable to practice compassion, then we have a lot more at risk than a singular child that looks different from the rest.”

I must have said something right. The silent deliberation that followed in the Drulama’s face lasted for a long minute of silence.

“Based exclusively on your own record of character, Cyndri, I will lend you this trust but once. The creature will stay under your surveillance unless it is otherwise proven to be a threat at a later date. I hope you understand the risk you take, and the level of privilege you possess to have been afforded this second chance.”

* * * * *

“-ster, can you see me? Are you there?” Nessyndra’s voice lingered around my ears, close enough to be within reach, yet I could not see her with my eyes. I couldn’t see anything at the moment.

“Nessie? I can’t- I don’t see you. I can’t see anything! Did you pluck my eyes out while I slept?”

“Ester! Of course not! I have no need of additional eyes, nor any reason to deprive you of yours! You are simply experiencing the throes of my grandmother’s memories. Your senses are being pulled betwixt yourself and the memories. It’s good that you can hear me! This would be more complicated if I had to communicate through actions alone like some kind of morphosis.”

“I don’t know what the fuck that is or even what time it is? There’s a child in the memories, Nessie. It’s something that feels familiar in some strange way. I can’t shake it off whenever I look at it.”

“You’re doing great, Ester, but the trial is unfortunately starting soon, so if there’s anything you can do to process this faster, that would be superb!”

“Faster? I feel like I’m living through years in a heartbeat, Nessie. How much faster can you ask of me?”

A response did not have time to reach my ears before a nauseating sense of displacement took hold and I was once more gazing through eyes that were not my own.

* * * * *

“Watch your words carefully, Kyrsta.” My daughter was used to hearing the authoritative tone of my voice. Despite her being matured, it seemed to still have an effect on her.

“Are you serious, Cyndri? That creature put Yraldi in our infirmary, yet you defend it’s every breath!”

“You sent Yraldi to an infirmary when you were younger. A neglectful harvest of viss coral when you intended to mess with him led to a week of recovery. I defended you then to Yraldi’s parents, figuring a child should not bear the brunt of punishment for reckless actions that have yet to be understood.”

“That’s… you know that is nowhere near the same level of severity, Cyndri.” Kyrsta was upset, and for entirely just reasons. Her childhood friend, Yraldi, was one of the Crutian to become afflicted with the strange sickness during the incident at the market. I could not blame her in the slightest for being upset with Snug, or myself for defending Snug. Yet I did so anyway. I had ample time to discuss the day with Snug since it had happened, and I knew with certainty that it was an unintentional occurrence. One that Snug regretted deeply despite having no agency in its occurrence.

“I know. But my point stands. You had no intentions to harm Yyraldi when you were younger. Snug had no intentions of harming anyone in the market. I suspect that it was merely a defence mechanism of its species. One that I aim to understand better.”

Kyrsta didn’t seem especially pleased by my response. She also didn’t seem especially offended either. We had reached the eye within the storm of our argument. I took the opportunity to pull Kyrsta closer to me, pulling her into a tight embrace. The slick plenda across both of our scales shifted together effortlessly as my daughter held me tighter.

“I don’t wish to hate that creature, mother. But I’m afraid of what it can do. When I succeed my father, these decisions will fall to me. I don’t even know where to start. Each day I study to become queen, and I am presented with a plethora of questions I don’t even remotely have answers for. I cannot possibly be prepared for every occurrence, yet I have to be.”

I did not envy my daughter’s anxieties. I couldn’t truly imagine what it would mean to grow up with the expectations of becoming Uroro’s queen. I had done everything I could during her childhood to prepare her for the burden she would one day inherit.

“You’re thinking of answers to every question imaginable, Kyrsta. You can’t possibly prepare for everything.”

“How does Ryss do it, then? He makes decisions effortlessly, I can only imagine it’s because he has planned for every situation.” Kyrsta’s chest heaved slightly against my shoulder, the weight of her anxieties pushing into my own body.

“I can guarantee you he has not anticipated answers to every conceivable question. I have seen him struggle with countless scenarios he had never once expected. He doesn’t think of solutions to potential issues ahead of time. Rather, he has structured himself a code. Something to follow in all situations to allow him to make decisions that he agrees with whenever possible.”

“Like a checklist?”

“In a way. It might benefit you to establish what key traits you wish to embody as queen. What you wish to be known as.”

“That’s a lot of pressure.”

“Of course, sweetie. I will never tell you that being a queen is easy. I have seen your father struggle time and time again with his role as king.” I realized my words might have added more pressure onto her plate as she tensed up in my grasp. “But I know you will make an excellent queen. I truly do. You are a natural leader, and you care for your people. I admire that compassion. I wish everyone in Uroro had it to the level that you do.”

* * * * *

“It’s beautiful, Snug.” My words caused the child’s face to light up instantly. It had just shared its latest project with me. Snug had taken to all sorts of different crafts in the past few months. Each of them were a brilliant expression of Snug’s natural creativity. This latest was a sculpture, constructed of softened gnush. The sculpture was a rather impressive interpretation of myself and Snug, with a level of detail that was truly impressive for a creature of its young age. Without knowing the specifics of its species, I couldn’t tell exactly when certain points of maturity were supposed to occur, but compared to Crutians, Snug was astonishingly smart for its young age. Of course, a child was still a child, and Snug reminded me of its age regularly when it stumbled over words with a subtle speech impediment. I could never tell if the impediment would have existed in its native tongue, or if it was a result of speaking a language that its tongue was simply not designed for.

“You and me!” It said, holding up the sculpture of the two of us. In the sculpture, I was holding Snug up into the air as if I was a second away from tossing Snug up into the air only to catch it soon after. A frequent request of the strange child. I wasn’t sure why it loved to be tossed so much, but it didn’t take much to indulge Snug, so I always did.

“Yes, we look fantastic. It looks just like us, too. I’m impressed!” I responded to Snug, without even an ounce of insincerity in my voice. It was a better sculpture than I could ever have managed in all honesty. I took the beautiful sculpture from Snug’s outstretched hand to place it on a shelf next to the plenda barrier of the room. As I placed the sculpture on the shelf, a panting Ryss slipped through the plenda barrier, eyes widened and searching desperately for someone. Me, as it would seem. The moment our eyes locked and rushed towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Yraldi… have you heard?” Ryss asked, sucking in deep breaths where he could while maintaining eye contact.

“Yraldi? No… did something happen?” I asked, flashing a glance towards Snug, who was sitting curiously on the edge of the bed.

“He’s dead. His health has been declining from the sickness, but today it got worse. He was in critical condition until just a few minutes ago. The infirmary announced his death to me, and no doubt the Drula will hear momentarily.” Ryss’ words held me in place. Had it not been for the hands on my shoulders, I might have already slipped to the floor.

Ryss knew exactly what this meant. As did I. With Yraldi passing from the strange sickness, it meant Snug would be placed into the sights of Uroro once more. The Drula would treat Snug as a murderer. The people of Uroro would no doubt view Snug as even more of a threat than before. My child would be threatened. The last time my child was threatened, the market was turned into a small catastrophe. There was no telling what could happen if that was allowed to happen again.

“The Drula… will they-?”

“There is no doubt. They will be coming for Snug shortly. While a trial will no doubt occur, there is no favorable result for Snug.”

The shuffling of the nearby child was a reminder that this was not the best place to discuss exactly what might happen. I looked to Snug to see if there was any level of comfort I could lend to the child. Already the pale form of snug was discolored, taking on a more green tone, the same as in the market.

“Sweetie… calm down. Can you do me a favor? Take your gnush pad into your bedroom and stay there while your mother and father discuss some things.”

Snug had not fallen for the false sense of peace I tried to instill. Despite not believing me when I said it would all be fine, Snug was still waddling off into its bedroom with the small gnush pad it used for writing and drawing. My heart ached for the child, I wanted to sit with Snug in the bedroom until it felt better, but there were perhaps a thousand other things that took priority at the moment.

“The Drula. Can you forbid them from making a decision?” I pleaded, already seeing the twisting expression of indecision crossing Ryss’ face. Did he dare to defy his wife’s request to save their child? Or would he instead reject the long standing traditions of Crutian culture by side-stepping the Drula’s ruling? It would never be an easy decision to make. Given a council, and a couple of years, I doubted even then he would be satisfied with either decision.

“Cyndri… what does that inspire in Uroro? The Drula have always meant to be kept separate from the king and queen’s decisions. If I start to control their decisions, infringe on their authority, what else would people suspect?”

“You’d let them take our child? I have seen the soft moments you share with Snug. You love Snug just as I, and you would throw it away?” Ryss did not show affection as I did, but it was clear to someone who learned to look for it. His love for others was the unspoken words in his sentences, the small gestures of care that were almost imperceptible. A kind of love that if performed correctly would make you feel cared for without ever realizing it explicitly. Snug was smart enough to know just how much Ryss cared for it.

“No. I have no intentions of letting them take Snug. I’ll figure something out.” Curt, without any elaboration. The Ryss special. I had no way of knowing just what he had in mind.

“I’m going to the Drula. I’ll summon them for a conversation and see if I can delay things…” The hesitation in his words stirred a cold layer of fear across the room. I knew he wanted to say one more thing. Though his mouth made no effort to form the words, I could practically read them from his wide eyes.

“I’ll start packing.” I acknowledged his unspoken fears as I moved closer towards Snug’s adjoining bedroom. Ryss knew as well as I that if the Drula remained steadfast on their decision months ago, Snug would not be allowed to stay. I would throw my child out of Uroro alone. Ryss could never disagree with a plan that he wasn’t aware of. I will come back to Uroro… eventually. With a heaping of apologies and regrets that would forever stain my soul.

“Please stay safe, Cyndri. Some Crutians have been waiting for any excuse to push outsiders out of Uroro. This is that excuse for them.” After issuing his warning, Ryss slipped through the plenda barrier to attempt to summon the Drula together.

* * * * *

“Ester? Ester you need to follow me.” I felt a slick scaly hand wrapped around my wrist. I had unfocused vision, like wide eyes in the depths of a lake. I had enough hearing to pick up on the words of Nessyndra. Before I even realized it, I had been walking, led by the gentle tugging of the scaly hand.

“You should not be touching the creature, release your grip, Nessyndra.” It was the same tone of voice as the one I had heard before. But this time his words flitted into my ears with slithered tones that my mind managed to understand. I knew what he meant. I’d never studied a day of Crutian, but it felt like I had lived a lifetime of hearing it.

“Relax, father. I will guide her towards the trial while she recovers.”

“Recovers? She has not been touched in hours, there is no injury she could have sustained in that time. You are being tricked by the Dryling, Nessyndra.”

Following their conversation was strangely natural, troubled only by the nauseating mixture of my own senses, and the senses of Cyndri that still persisted in my mind. The memories had not ceased. How would I manage a trial if I was still reliving events from the past? The past and present fought for my attention like petty children, until a chilling scream from the past sent me reeling back into Cyndri’s memories as I was pulled along towards my imminent trial.