Heartworm

“Gone so soon, you fleshy mounds of joy…”

‘Are you speaking to your own breasts?’

Lilith’s voice caused me to jump. Our mental link had been quiet during the morning, leaving me to get dressed in utter silence. In today’s case, finding out how to wrap some bandages around my chest had been an additional hurdle for the morning. Usually Lilith would find a way to snidely comment on my choice of clothes, which were almost always the same. It was strange to not have her voice rattling in the back of my mind until now. I wondered what could possibly be different about the morning, Lilith didn’t strike me as someone to deviate from a schedule unless it was necessary for some reason.

“That conversation was meant for my boobs. Not for you.”

‘Any conversation that you have is meant for me, little morsel. We are one in the same for now.’

Switching from speaking aloud to mentally responding, I continued.

Any reason you decided to be a demonic sleepy head this morning, Lilith?

‘I was experiencing my own reminiscence, as you seem to frequently do at night.’

How come I didn’t see your memories? Seems a little bit unfair.

‘Why would it be unfair? You are a weaker being by every metric, our mental link must obviously favor me.’

I don’t think our mental link has enough cognizance to have a favorite.

‘If it did, it would certainly favor me.’

If it did, I think we’d both be trying to teach you how to be humble.

Once I was ready to leave the tent, I met Cecelia just outside, by the edge of the lake. It was quaint, and provided us a surprising amount of alone time with the rest of the Belligerent Bandits eating breakfast in the tent. Alone time, without being in imminent danger, felt like it barely existed between the two of us. It was almost as if she had prepared a miniature picnic for us by the lake. Though it lacked the picnic basket and a blanket. Could it still be called a picnic if it was just food and a lovely sight? I’d count it.

“You know you didn’t have to hunt for me, right? I’m getting better at it.”

“I know. I wanted to treat you. Feels like you’ve been given the short end of the stick a lot in the past two weeks, I thought it might be nice to switch it up, y’know?”

“Then I just have to find a way to treat you back. Do you like dead animals? I can wake you up with them to return the favor.” I smirked at Cecelia, emphasizing my point by waving the dead hare in the air between us before I began to dig in.

“Leaving dead animals around the tent? You’re making me wonder if I’m dating a mutt, or a woman.” Cecelia grinned and leaned her shoulder towards me, the small contact displaying a level of affection while we both ate. Cecelia had a simple loaf of bread, while I had the hare.

“You really are getting better.”

“Hm?”

“Like you said, you’re getting better at hunting. I think you’re getting better at a lot of things. It’s kind of scary.” Cecelia murmured as she bit off another chunk of the loaf.

I pushed my elbow into her side gently as I spoke with my mouth somewhat full of the rare and bloody meat. “Sexy scary, or scary scary?” I asked, noting her previous mention of finding my animalistic hunt to be alluring in some way.

“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. Mostly B, if I’m being honest. The way you fought in the mansion was surprising for someone who had never fought before. The way you fought at the estate was even better, shockingly better, for no additional training.” Cecelia paused for a moment to rip another part of the loaf off with her teeth. I could tell what she was getting at as she spoke, and began to tense up. “The way you fought in Thrieve… for a moment there you almost seemed like a normal Deathless. Far more dangerous than a student who could lose a fight to a sturdy broomstick.” Despite the questioning tone, and the inquisitive expression, she didn’t sound like she was interrogative so much as curious.

“Maybe just instinct?” I knew it was more than that. The presence of Lilith in my mind had obviously increased the rate at which I learned new things. While my body merged more with her, it seemed my mind did the same. When I fought, it was almost like I knew what to do from experience, despite never having the experience to fuel those actions. Hunting, magic, and clawing people apart felt familiar to me, as if I had been performing those actions for decades.

“I don’t know. I suppose no one had ever become a Deathless before, so you’re uncharted territory.”

“Maybe whatever made me a Deathless gave me a head start to account for not growing up like this?” It was a flimsy excuse, and judging by the way that Cecelia contorted her face in thought, it didn’t seem like she bought into it.

“Not sure. I planned on trying to teach you lessons from Ffenton. I’m not sure it will even be necessary anymore.”

I mulled over her words carefully. Being taught the lessons she had learned when she was younger was certainly appealing. They had made her into a frightfully capable fighter, one that’s killed more Deathless than any other Life Hunter, according to her.

“If we have the time, I’d love to learn a few things from you.” I offered before stripping the last bit of meat from one of the larger bones.

“I don’t know if you’ll love it once we start, button nose. I can only teach as I was taught. It’ll be harsh.”

“CiCi, being harsh to me? Oh that sounds awful.” I placed the back of my hand to my forehead in the spirit of a fainting dramatist, something which got a quick laugh out of Cecelia, much to my amusement. “Okay, Weirdo.” She rolled her eyes and continued with her earlier thought. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” Cecelia said, stuffing her face with the last of her breakfast.

“What kills me still makes me stronger.” I corrected Cecelia. While I certainly didn’t expect to be killed while training under her, I made sure to remind her that I wasn’t as fragile as it seemed. Perhaps it was my demeanor that had thrown people off. Sebil, Cecelia, and Phern all still seemed to look at me like I was mostly helpless, and while I didn’t necessarily blame them, by every reasonable metric I should be helpless, I needed them to start realizing I wasn’t just a student anymore. I mean I dealt with a whole group of guards within Thrieve by myself.

“I’ll try not to kill you too many times while we train.”

“Hah… funny.”

Cecelia’s grin did not falter as she continued to stare at me.

“You are joking, right?” I asked, growing increasingly nervous about the devilish grin that was spread across her face, like she was eyeing me up with intentions to pounce.

“You’re cute when you’re scared.”

The bright red blush that spread across my cheeks melded perfectly with my red eyes. For someone with instilled predatory instincts in my veins, Cecelia always seemed to make me feel like I was the hunted rather than the hunter. It was electric, in a way that I hadn’t entirely figured out. The butterflies that fluttered through my core when she looked at me that way was utterly addictive and unknown to me. Lucky for me, unknowns are a treat for my inquisitive mind.

‘Don’t feel too special, little morsel. I’m sure the dozens of Deathless she has hunted felt the same predatory presence in her before they were cut down.’

With her ever perceptive nature, I could see Cecelia attempting to unravel my thoughts. She seemed to arrive at some kind of conclusion as she leaned towards me. My breath hitched, and my eyes closed. I knew what was coming, a kiss that felt like it took ages to reach my lips. I was almost certain that Cecelia had slowed her pace as she neared me, just to wrench more desperation into my heart. As it had tasted each time it happened before, the warmth of her lips against mine felt like a heartfelt knitted blanket was draped around me. In reality, it was simply her arms gently grazing across mine.

‘Saccharine love. You would walk into a Deathless sized cage if it had a handwritten confession of love inside.’

Jealousy doesn’t look too good on you, Lilith.

‘Looks matter not, when survival is on the line. You trust the greatest threat to your safety with your intimacy. A smitten heart is the easiest to plant a dagger in.’

You’re being entirely ridiculous, Lilith. What kind of person would go out of their way to fall for a Deathless just to kill them. There has to be a thousand other simpler ways to achieve that goal.

‘I’ve seen it happen, little morsel. Humans are cunning and spiteful. With as much hate as that woman has in her heart, I wouldn’t put such cruelty past her.’

People need to be vulnerable at some point, Lilith. No wonder you’re so bitter if you can’t open yourself up to anyone else.

‘You know nothing of the world you inhabit. You’ve stayed within gilded halls of Varenthell, and read books on the rest of the world that you will never taste with your silver spoon.’

I ignored Lilith to focus instead of Cecelia. Our eager kisses had quickly blossomed into more. Her tongue pushed inside of my mouth, forcing my own to the side as she had her way. Her hands had such gentle force behind them, moving my own arms gently despite the sheer amount of power I could feel in her own arms. I pulled myself towards her, doing my best to communicate without speaking that I wanted more from her. The subtle expressions of control that she exhibited while kissing and moving my hands down to my sides were deliciously sweet, contrasting brilliantly with the taste of a campfire embering in my mouth.

‘You think you can lecture me about love? That I know nothing in my 500 years of life, little morsel? The only love you ever had ended in a meaningless tragedy, yet you think you’re more of an expert than I?!’

Love, Lilith? You have a hard heart without an ounce of compassion in it! You expect me to believe you wouldn’t kill anyone that attempted to love you?

I had clearly hit a nerve.

I wasn’t sure exactly what happened, but my vision faded in and out as Lilith wreaked havoc within my mind-OUR MIND-causing me to fall limp within Cecelia’s grasp. For an agonizing few seconds, I struggled to comprehend my own emotions. There was so much hate, so much overwhelming love intertwined with regret. My Heartworm writhed. I missed her so much. Vyra-Calliope-Cecelia. Who was Calliope? I need her back. I need to know who she is. Was I in control of-our body?Who was pulling the strings of-my arms and legs. It was like I was numb all over.

“I’m sorry! A-are you okay? Did I bite you too hard?”

Cecelia had bitten me? I think I remember now, she had been biting my lip as we kissed before I responded to Lilith. It was pleasant, it certainly hadn’t hurt in a way that was unpleasant. Whatever had just happened between Lilith and I, it seemed to have faded. I think that I am in control presently.

“No… No it wasn’t that. It was just an… episode. Happened before with Sebil.” I muttered. I could tell there was an apprehension in her eyes. She wanted to believe me, but it looked like she was fighting against that instinct.

“Are you alright, love?” As if he was cued by his own name, I heard Sebil call out from near the tent. It seemed that the rest of them had finished eating, as Sebil and Lucas began walking towards us as Phern started to put away the tent. It wouldn’t take long, but it left her lagging behind the others. Cecelia was still holding me tightly in her grasp, a comforting presence that only made me more angry with Lilith. I trusted Cecelia. If she wanted me dead, I’d have been long gone by now. She cared, and I hadn’t felt this level of concern, this warmth, in years.

“I’m fine. Just feeling weak is all. Like what happened with you in the estate, that’s all.” I replied to Sebil, choosing not to move away from Cecelia just yet. It was nice to be held close to her, and with the growing headache that seemed to result from our mental argument, I would take the opportunity to get my bearings before standing back up.

“Like at the estate, love?” Sebil asked the question, but almost looked ambivalent to the answer. That felt strange to me, the man was always very precise with his questions, something which felt very in line with his scientific background. When he spoke, it was as if he was trying to meet a personal goal of ‘solving’ a conversation with the least amount of questions.

“I’ll be fine. It’s really nothing serious.” Once more, as I spoke, Sebil’s eyes never broke eye contact with me. Eventually, it became too awkward for me, and I looked away. I was curious as to why he was so invested in my brief demonic mental tussle.

“If we keep dawdling around, Laia or the Council will find us shortly.” Lucas paid no heed towards my weakened state, which was expected, and instead started to move along the lake edge towards the west. With Phern arriving shortly behind us, Cecelia made the first move towards standing up. I followed her lead, and soon enough, with very little discussion in our group, we began to journey westward. Lucas was clearly occupied with his own thoughts about either betraying us or the Empire, whichever he settled on. Sebil was oddly quiet, and seemed to be tinkering with his metal hand as we walked, making me wonder if he had damaged it during the events at Thrieve. With the two of them remaining silent, the conversations that happened existed almost exclusively between Phern, Cecelia, and I. With one notable exception.

Phern had pulled me away at one point in our walk to point towards my head and whisper. “Was the episode because of the silly friend in your skull?” I half expected Lilith to shoot back a response when Phern called her my ‘silly friend’, but she stayed quiet. Our mental link had not gone quiet, which meant she was still hearing the conversation and consciously opted to mull in silence. I gave a nod back to Phern, careful of directly mentioning Lilith’s presence aloud. Phern knew due to the situation we found ourselves in, but Cecelia, Lucas, and Sebil would need to remain clueless for a little while longer. Especially if Lilith was spiteful enough to act on her constant remarks about Sebil and Cecelia.

Phern just nodded back to me, smiling to herself like the knowledge of Lilith made her special. It did, in a way, and it put a smile on my face to see her so excited to be let in on the secret. I needed Phern to keep it to herself, however. I was unsure of her ability to keep secrets, but I couldn’t do much more than simply trust that she would keep it hidden.

Along our walk, we entered a small clearing next to the edge of the lake. Each one of us seemed to assess the situation at a similar pace as we looked to our left to see obvious signs of a struggle. There were marks in the dirt, like a creature had been clawing at the ground. A small pool of blood sat amongst grass and distended earth.

“Pebblestink! Did the Council get ahead of us?” Phern asked.

“Why would the Council bother themselves with hunting an animal?” Lucas dismissed Phern’s idea.

“The Council could not have gotten ahead of us that fast. It can’t be them.” Cecelia said.

“Probably an animal that attacked a fisherman. Nothing that should concern us.” Sebil shrugged, and continued to walk down the path. There was an obvious amount of hesitation from Cecelia to continue moving, but once she had decided there was nothing more to be gained by scanning the environment again, she moved to follow. I was more concerned with the idea that there were animals around here big enough to make claw marks of that size. I was busying myself by thinking over all of the different animals that might appear in this region. It had been a number of years since I had read any books on the topic, but with enough time, I could usually remember sparse details of books that I had read long ago. I suppose that's what I got out of reading incessantly for the majority of my life to replace any lived experiences that I was too sheltered to have.

Once we had fallen back into the rhythm of walking across the edge of the lake, Phern had piped up to talk to Cecelia and I about the dreams that she had the previous night. Sometimes the dreams seemed similar to previous dreams that she would have, but they were a good way to pass the time. It was truly fascinating to consider what her mind could conjure up during the night.

“That’s when I woke up in the tent, but it was like suuuuuper dark out! I think it was one of those dreams within a dreams though because then this strange green light started to appear in the lake and I was like ‘oh my Gods leave me alone Nessie!’”

“Nessie?” I asked, inquiring behind the strange name that she had picked for seemingly no reason.

“My momma told me about a monster that lives in lakes. She called it Nessie and said it would eat you right up if you were a naughty kid.”

“I’m not sure that was a dream, love.” Sebil, who had not been talking for the past two hours that we had been walking, had finally interjected.

“Whadja mean, spark plug?”

“I also saw a strange green light in the lake last night.”

“You were out last night?” Cecelia asked.

“Trouble sleeping, I thought I’d take a walk to clear my mind.” He spoke calmly as he continued to walk. With two people experiencing the same phenomena, it began to tickle at my mind like a happy hermit crab. An unknown light, perhaps an unknown creature in the lake. A mystery to solve. It was like Cecelia was reading my mind when she turned to look at me.

“What did curiosity do to the cat, dear? We shouldn’t let it distract us.” While she was letting me down by quelling my passion for discovering the unknown, she did so with a smile. It helped to reassure me that it wasn’t out of annoyance, more a lack of time and resources if we wanted to avoid the Council catching up to us. Despite acknowledging that I most likely would not get a chance to further investigate, I still shot back with a begrudging reply.

“Curiosity hasn’t met an undying cat before…”