Gaming Badly in DxD

-Koneko Toujou-

‘’Um… Koneko?’’ The meek, blonde vampire whispered. ‘’Are you sure we should be here? I-I mean… aren’t you…?’’

‘’Pregnant?’’ I answered for Gasper, who nodded multiple times. ‘’Yes, but I’m fine. Sachi-senpai ‘topped me up’ before this started, so…’’

I blinked, staring in the distance as a Fallen Angel got shot through a building, intending to escape by piercing the barrier around their base. Yet, before he could, I lifted my hand forward and watched as a torrent of blue flames burned him to a crisp from the inside out, leaving nothing but the smell of burnt feathers and… ammoniac?

‘Ew…’ My nose scrunched up as I covered it with a glove-covered hand. ‘’See?’’

‘’So cool…’’ The skirt-wearing boy whispered with stars shining in those red eyes of him.

I was happy that Gasper had gotten well enough to go outside without a box.

He wasn’t actively participating in the raid, but stayed behind like me, guarding the barriers. Yet, I had a feeling that the girlish vampire’s sudden progress wasn’t exactly born out of a sudden desire to interact outside.

But something I did notice was when he made references under his breath. Some of which, I only recognized from that one series that I’ve caught Rias and Senpai watching some time ago.

What was the name…? Something something… bizarre adventures?

Anyway. Gasper’s sudden change in mindset happened only after Senpai came back from Italy to save dumbass-Kiba, and I noticed that Gasper’s general control over his eyes was good enough for him to confidently take off that dumb paper bag he tried to hide in once he left his box…

‘’You know…’’ I stared at Gasper, making the boy squirm but also pay attention to my words. ‘’I don’t know if Senpai is into boys.’’

Gasper paused—No, froze. His face paled until he looked like a sheet of paper, then all that blood came back to his face in a sudden burst of crimson as he blushed profusely. His hands moved around in a mix of stiffness and hasty movements that made him look almost cartoonish.

And of course, came the word vomit.

‘’N-No! What? I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! A-And what has that to do with anything?! Nothing, right?’’ With each word that couldn’t make a proper sentence, and each stutter, Gasper shrank into himself. ‘’And… Uh… That’s alright! I mean, Zatren-senpai is surrounded by beautiful women, o-of course he wouldn’t be into… boys… but m-maybe he is? Hypothetically speaking, I mean! If the boy was… feminine… enough.’’

I didn’t know if the Dhampir knew it or not, but my ears could easily pick up the last words he whispered under his breath.

‘’That was easy.’’ I mused, ignoring the panicking blonde. ‘’…Too easy. Where’s Senpai? Bullying him is much funnier…’’

It’s not that I missed him, really, but I wouldn’t complain about a sudden hug. A hundred or so headpats, some ice-cream-topped cookies… or a cake… maybe ice cream on top of beef? No, those are the cravings speaking…

Alright, maybe I did miss him a bit.

‘When does this raid end again? I want to go lie down. The little ones are hungry…’ I caressed the little bump on my stomach.

No, I was not using my potatoes as a reason to repeat dessert for the third time. Try me.

‘’…Is it that obvious?’’ Gasper finally stopped rambling and whispered his questing while twiddling his fingers.

‘’Yes,’’ I replied bluntly.

‘’S-so what should I do?’’ Why did he look at me like I had all the answers?

‘’Maybe ask him?’’ I shrugged. ‘’Worst he could say is no.’’

…But considering it, would Senpai—!

‘’Oh…’’ I felt my lips arc in a little smile as I looked downwards. ‘’He’s here.’’

Gasper tilted his head to the side, confused. ‘’Who’s here—?’’

‘’Ko-ne-ko-chan!’’ A tone equally loving as it was obnoxious filled the air as something shot from the ground to the sky in less than I could blink. And suddenly, I had a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulling me in like I was a teddy bear. ‘’I didn’t think you’d be awake for this. How’s my kit-cat doing? My little potato maker?’’

…Now I was hungry for some French fries.

Giving him a slow blink, I let him carry us all the way to the ground, with a nervous Gasper following close behind.

‘’Senpai… We saw each other half a day ago.’’ I reminded him, even if I clung to his clothing that smelled… like an unknown woman.

Of course, Senpai goes on a dungeon and ends up with another woman. What was next, that he brought a child—

‘’Mommy?’’ A soft voice cut through my musings as I saw who else had the man brought along.

Satan Beelzebub and Satan Leviathan stared at the scene with amused smiles. Strangely enough, the latter’s magical girl suit was ripped in some places and replaced with pieces of ice, and for some reason, she smelled heavily of ozone.

The Satan Beelzebub had her clothes in pristine condition. Yet, I could smell something strange from her, and it was only intensified when she stared at my mate. Also, for some reason, the scent of… recently opened books clung to her.

I could deal with the implications of that stare later; for now, I focused on the small kid hiding behind Serafall’s legs.

Green eyes, dressed in black leather that reeked of blood, black and pink boots that clashed with the rest of her darker colors, and a white-as-snow head of hair, along with one vertical scar crossing over her eye, and another horizontal one on her cheek.

…And she had called Zatren ‘mommy’.

I slowly turned to a now nervously sweating God with a deadpan expression and a pointed stare. And, in pure Zatren fashion, he pecked me very close to my left ear, which twitched at the contact, before doing jazz hands.

‘’Surprise…?’’ He tried, but seeing as my stare persisted, he turned to the girl and called her over. ‘’Jack, come over here to meet your… er… other mama!’’

…This was ridiculous.

Yet, as the little girl’s eyes widened and she stepped out of Serafall Leviathan’s side—with some small encouragement from the woman herself—she made her way directly in front of me and looked up with big, innocent eyes that sent a throb down my chest.

‘’You’re… mommy, too?’’ Jack asked, fiddling with her hands that I knew for a fact had been covered in blood not hours ago. ‘’Mommy Koneko?’’

Ah…

‘’Yes,’’ I stated, and opened my arms. Almost like shot from a rocket, the girl rammed against my side, and I simply held her close and let her up on my shoulders. ‘’…Welcome to this weird family, Jack.’’

…Yes, comparing our size difference, it’s like I was carrying a little sister instead of my newest daughter, but… fuck that.

If daughter wants uppies, she gets uppies.

The white-haired girl preened and hugged my neck. Strangely enough, I saw her look into my belly with amazed and excited eyes. Did Senpai tell her something about our kids?

Should I be somewhat annoyed that he added another kid to our list of children without asking me first?

Jack, once her initial shyness passed, looked around in wonder at the buildings like a curious little critter. When she noticed Gasper looking her way, she waved shily, making the dhampir do the same, albeit I believed he looked much more shy than the girl on my shoulders.

‘…I got attached.’ I sighed, condemning that man I loved so much for spreading that mentality of his to me. ‘What’s one more child? We are a big group… we’ll have a lot of help.’

A shiver suddenly went down my spine. Not the fearful or worried kind, but the one that told me that Senpai was going to do something dumb again.

I stared in his direction, seeing as he and Gasper had pulled off the group for a moment to have a small chat. The blonde boy fiddled with his skirt nervously. He was embarrassed, but if Zatren noticed, he didn’t comment on it.

Who was I kidding? He probably noticed…

Yet, once Zatren started speaking, the boy’s attitude did a complete one-eighty. His nervousness all but faded, and his fists tightened as his red eyes filled with determination and excitement. Whatever Senpai had talked to him about, he was all in for it.

And then, Zatren turned to us and shouted. ‘’Serafall! Do you have some golden clothes for Gasper here that we could borrow real quick?!’’

I frowned, confused, but then a groan slipped past my lips, much to the confusion of the girl riding my shoulders.

He was going to make a dumbass, cringy reference again, wasn’t he?

‘’I sure do!’’ Serafall, of course, didn’t waste the opportunity to follow along for some reason. And with a critical eye, she stared at Gasper up and down. ‘’Hmmm…. Alright, come with me, Gasper-kun, we’ll get you something that fits you!’’

Zatren and Gasper looked twice as excited for some reason.

‘As long as they were happy…’ I sighed, shrugging. ‘Well… now that two Satans and Senpai were here…’

It meant that I could easily go back home and spend my time either sleeping until Schizo-senpai decides to wake me up, or use this leftover energy I had from Sachi to play with the kids.

Damn good deal.

-X-x-X-

-Sona Sitri-

‘’Tsubaki, report. What was that magic spike that suddenly appeared on the southwest base?’’ I frowned. ‘’We are not having something drastically alter our plan.’’

Much less so, considering that it was very close to completion—

‘’Don’t worry, president.’’ I raised an eyebrow at my Queen’s reassuring tone. ‘’…That was just Zatren.’’

That was…

I chuckled as the magic circles being used as cameras quickly scanned through the area. Sure enough, near the third base, chatting casually on the empty street was Toujou, who had a girl on her shoulders. A green-haired woman who couldn’t be other than Ayuka Beelzebub herself, and then a Raven-haired man with a long coat, who was doing absolutely nothing to hide the abundant magic currently pulsing off his body like a heartbeat.

My gaze lingered on his cocky smile a moment too long as I felt something inside my chest warm up.

Behind me, I heard a gasp coming from the blue-haired Excalibur wielder. Then, Zatren paused his conversation and turned to look directly at the ‘camera’ with a frown.

Did his magic sense get so good that he could perceive the hidden circle?

A second later, the man disappeared in a flash of light. I frowned and then almost jumped as I felt a pair of arms envelop me from behind. In a panic, I created a magic circle below my feet, thinking that maybe the church agents had unpromptly decided to stab us in the back.

‘’My… how feisty.’’ Yet, it was much worse than I thought, because it was Zatren’s voice that suddenly sent a shiver down my spine. ‘’Hello, my King, I see that you have everything handled over here.’’

My body relaxed, yet I still turned around, ready to give the man a piece of my mind for scaring me like that. ‘’Zatren, I, too, enjoy your embrace, but right now—Mh?!’’

The completely shameless God simply took my lips into his the moment I faced him. His hands squeezed in dangerous places, but never went below the waist. Yet, by the grabbing motions he did with my hips, I was sure he wanted to.

‘’You—Mh—Improper… Ugh.’’ Each word I wanted to get out, he interrupted with a kiss. All I could do was glare silently at his smug expression and mischief-filled eyes. ‘…I’m going to teach him. Obviously, a single round of ‘’discipline’’ wasn’t enough. No matter, later, I will put those hands of his to work properly—No, no, no no!’

I shook the ideas of casual impropriety off my head for now, no matter how appealing they sounded after the stressful sequence of events that made this raid possible in the first place. Instead, I grabbed the man’s collar and glared at him seriously.

‘’Listen here—‘’

‘’That stare makes you look so sexy.’’

‘’Would you listen for a second, bastard?!’’ I shouted, feeling my entire face burn as I started shaking the chuckling man. ‘’Save your antics for a more private moment. Do you not notice we are in polite company?’’

Finally, did the man turn his head to acknowledge the people in the command room. The blue-haired exorcist, along with the Mother Griselda, had politely averted their gaze from the scene, even though the former peeked from time to time.

The chestnut-haired one, however, covered her face with—Was that a parasol?

Anyway, even through the object, I could see she practically had a full-body blush.

Meanwhile, the Seraph Gabriel covered her mouth and didn’t tear her gaze. Instead, she had a twinkle in her eyes and seemed to be debating with herself between looking and turning away.

‘’…So it seems.’’ Zatren finally replied, yet only squeezed my waist tighter.

…This man, I swear!

‘’You!’’ Suddenly, Xenovia pointed at Zatren with an expression resting between shocked and betrayed. ‘’You’re that God from Rome! You told us you weren’t affiliated with the devils!’’

I paused at the accusation and frowned, yet Zatren merely shrugged.

‘’I told you I was from Japan, didn’t I? That’s not a lie. I ascended in Japan.’’ The man explained and finally let go, only to open his arms and then make a slight bowing gesture, one hand over his heart.

And no, I did not follow his warmth when he released me. I was better than that.

Maybe.

‘’Let me introduce myself properly, then.’’ He exclaimed with an impish grin. ‘’I am Zatren Fumigami, God of Abundance, yet before I ascended into the realm of the Divine, I was a devil under the Sitri and Gremory houses!’’

A heavy pause filled the air, as even the Seraph’s eyes widened in shock.

‘’W-what?’’

‘’Blasphemy! How could that be?! How could…’’

‘’This is…’’

‘’Oh, my…’’

‘Does this man need to make every room his stage?’ I sighed.

Not even actual theaters had more theatrics than this man could pull off in a few minutes if left to his own devices.

-X-x-X-

-Zatren Fumigami-

‘’Are you really… a God? A Devil God?’’ The chestnut-haired girl I recognized as Irina asked.

Meanwhile, I was toying with a spinning chair. Making mental ‘wee’ sounds each time I made a spin. It was slightly awkward, considering that bombshell of an angel woman and I were the only two who sat down.

‘’Yup.’’ I spun again and almost chuckled at the way the two Excalibur Wielders followed the movement with confused eyes. ‘’Though… I’m not a god of Devils, or at least, I don’t think I am. I am a God of both Abundance and Beauty, however.’’

And I felt connected to the former in a way I never felt before.

It was already hard enough to take my hands off Koneko, knowing very well we were in the middle of the street and had little Jack with us. Yet, when I felt that little circle spying on me, something just told me Sona was on the other side, so I just… jumped, teleported, blinked? Directly at her side.

…Maybe it's something to do with Gods and their Champions? Did this make Rias, Koneko, and Sona my Champions?

In any case, when I saw her with that focused frown, back to me, and in Kuoh’s uniform that showed her great legs, I had to tease her a bit… Then I noticed that she had people around her.

Bummer, though, they were all pretty girls or beautiful, mature women…

I blinked and straightened up as my vision glitched a little, making me frown. Someone had tried to ask a question but stopped at my sudden movement, and I didn’t hear them right.

‘Jinzui, everything good?’ I mentally asked, worried.

‘Hm? Oh yes. Everything feels great.’ The spirit answered warmly and chuckled. ‘Don’t worry too much, Partner. I am fine.’

…If she said so.

‘’What was that again? Sorry, I didn’t hear you correctly.’’ I side-glanced Sona, who had gone back to commanding the raid, and then turned to… Xenovia, right. ‘’So?’’

‘’Do you feel a connection with him?’’ The tomboy asked.

‘’Xenovia…!’’ Griselda chastised with a pointed look.

I saw Gabriel tense up, and I shot her a knowing look that didn’t last longer than a second, yet made her freeze all the same.

‘’No, I don’t have a connection to Big G if that’s what you’re asking.’’ I pointed upwards with a smile. ‘’My turn, Gabriel, does Michael hear me every time I curse in his name?’’

‘’We were playing twenty questions…?’’ Irina whispered to Xenovia, who shrugged.

The aforementioned Seraph blinked, yet relaxed at the distraction. Only for her eyes to widen in surprise as she gasped. ‘’You were the one who did that? He’s been telling me about it for months.’’

I snorted. ‘’Seriously? Michael above, that’s so funny.’’

‘’God of Abundance—‘’ I didn’t need to look to know that was Griselda. Kinda reminded me of Lady Sitri or Sona’s personality, being so uptight even if I acted casual. ‘’—You are affiliated with both the Sitri and Gremory Heiresses, correct? Yet the day we met, you claimed to be ‘escorting’ someone important for the Grigori… Does this mean this alliance between Devil and Fallen existed long before this?’’

I mused over the question, because technically, yes? But probably not because of the reason she’s thinking about.

‘’I saved Mittelt’s—That Fallen girl you’re talking about—ass a few months back, and she sorta became my roommate after that,’’ I explained, side-glancing Sona again as I grinned. ‘’But as for ‘alliance’… no. It’s more like, both Heiresses and Mittelt, who is the daughter of Azazel himself, are all my lovers.’’

That made Sona’s body twitch, and even if she didn’t turn around, I knew I was going to pay for that one.

An absolute win, if you ask me.

Meanwhile, the exorcist's reactions were much funnier because Irina was blushing like mad while covering her face and peeking through her fingers as if she was staring at something inappropriate, while Xenovia tried to maintain a straight face, yet there was a spark of intrigue in her eyes.

Of course, Sister Griselda merely deadpanned. Something so simple couldn’t really pierce through a mature woman’s sense of propriety.

However… Gabriel did look away and shifted under her robes. Weird, wasn’t she supposed to have like two thousand years or more? And she was less composed than a twenty-something churchwoman?

Hmmm… suspicious.

Chuckling to myself—a habit that I should probably break so people stopped staring like I was crazy—I instead asked the general group. ‘’So… I take you guys are here and not hostile because you agreed to some sort of alliance or treaty?’’

Maybe I could get this information later, but I was killing time while Serafall got Gasper ready for our little plan, and by what little I saw through the cameras, Kokabiel had no Generals, lost two Excaliburs to Kiba, which, massive W for my bro, to be honest, and was currently hiding like a little bitch.

All in all, freaking A+ job. I was really proud of my students, lovers, and friends. I should do something nice for them.

But back to the topic at hand…

‘’We’re still discussing that,’’ Griselda replied, but the side of her habit moved slightly, as if she were fiddling with the cloth. ‘’We have yet to go back and take the… proposal to the higher-ups. However, if Lady Gabriel here were to lend her help…?’’

At the sudden inclusion, the Seraph nodded happily with a beautiful smile that was like staring at the sun because of how bright it was. One that really makes me want to pinch her cheeks. ‘’Of course! I’ll be more than happy to accompany you and—Fweh?!’’

A sudden gasp of shock filled the room, and I heard someone facepalm with such force that their face would probably have a red mark soon.

The reason was obvious.

I wanted to pinch the angel’s cheeks, so I got up and did it.

‘’Why are you so adorable?’’ I asked, frowning. Seeing as the Angel’s face got beet red like a tomato while I molded her cheeks with my fingers. ‘’Seriously, what even was that sound? And this expression? It’s too cute. Is it artificially cute, or is this just Angelic cute?’’

Were Angels cuter, while devils were sexier? These are the real questions here.

‘’M-Mr. Zatren—I mean, God Zatren…?’’ The Seraph exclaimed nervously. She was panting softly, and… were her eyes starting to water?

‘’Yes?’’ I asked, massaging the soft skin.

‘’…C-could you let go, please?’’

Ah.

‘’Sorry about that.’’ I smiled and released the Seraph’s red cheeks; if that was from embarrassment or if I was pinching too hard, I didn’t know, so I used a small burst of HealingTouch just in case. ‘’I just got distracted, but where are my manners? I greet you, Saint Gabriel, it’s always a pleasure to meet a beautiful woman such as yourself~’’

Instead of pinching her any longer, I took the woman’s hand, caressed the back of her palm with a thumb, and kissed her knuckles while bowing slightly with a slight grin.

‘’F-fweh…?’’ Seriously, what was that sound? It’s way too cute.

‘’…Think I broke her.’’ I blinked, seeing as the Seraph stood frozen in place. For a moment, I thought her face would catch on fire. Yet, as I turned around… ‘’Ah.’’

Irina had taken refuge under a parasol, which, with one look, I deciphered was simply ExcaliburMimic, while Xenovia was staring blankly ahead, whispering something about ‘If Divine on Saint, is it a sin?’ On repeat like she was a broken record.

Meanwhile, Griselda simply held a smile that was way tighter than her previous expression, and I felt that she either needed a drink or wanted to punch me in the face.

‘’Are you done, Zatren?’’ Sona asked with a raised eyebrow while she leaned onto the only table in the room, holding all the magic circles in place. ‘’Being a womanizer, I meant.’’

‘No, I don’t think I am.’ That was what I wanted to say, because I was no womanizer.

Unlike one, I get attached like a lost pup and commit to hell and back. Yet, Sona wasn’t ready for the truths of the world.

‘’Maybe. To be fair, I’m just waiting for Serafall to give me the go-ahead on something, and I came here if there was anything interesting to do.’’

‘’…And terrorizing exorcists while trying to seduce his angels is something interesting?’’’ She deadpanned.

I shrugged. ‘’I mean, I can think of a few more things… Which includes you, me, and that table, but I doubt you’ll like an audience, dear.’’

Hearing a small ‘eep!’ coming from behind me, and considering that not only was Gabrbiel holding her own hand and staring at it in embarrassed shock, but Sona’s face had also heated up—Even If it came with a murderous glare—meant that I had indeed succeeded in doing something interesting.

Let nobody tell you I lack cha-rizz-ma. No system needed here, baby!

‘’Just go out there and take care of healing our people already!’’ Sona half-shouted, half-shrieked while pointing at the ‘cameras’. ‘’And if you still feel talkative after that, then buff some of them for good measure!’’

Cackling like a madman, I made a mock salute and made a circle, ready to jump. I already got the coordinates of the four bases just by looking at the screen.

‘’Yes, my King! This humble servant will do so…’’ I grinned. ‘’For a reward…~’’

‘’Zatren, I swear to fucking Satan, I will—‘’ But before I could spike my girlfriend’s blood pressure any longer, I vanished away and into the first base.

‘’Gabriel, I love my life.’’ I made a mock prayer and turned around, seeing half of Sona’s peerage along with a particularly bored Grigori’s Fallen that I didn’t recognize. ‘’Now, who needs some healing?’’

-X-x-X-

-Kokabiel-

I heard the sounds of panicking soldiers and heavy magic attacks that made the entire underground base tremble. Internally, I cursed, I cursed all those damn weaklings I had for subordinates, and I cursed those damn filthy devils and their ploys!

How? How did the Grigori end up allying with them? And with the family of the Satans no less! The mess I managed to leave behind with those disposable pawns back in Kuoh should have made them completely cross each other.

Hell, before I finally detached myself from those cowards, part of our territory was still covered by the Leviathan’s ice! A temper tantrum that woman had left behind for endangering her ‘dear little sister’!

‘What failed?’ I questioned while hastily making way past the highest clearance magic circle, uncaring at this point of ‘’measures’’ and ‘‘safety’’.

Was it the Fallen that escaped? That weak little crow that couldn’t even be called a Fallen? Who was no more than a disappointment with wings than she was ever a daughter of Azazel?!

He should have thanked me for sending such a pathetic child to the slaughterhouse, where she’ll at least be useful for something!

Did that even matter now?

‘It doesn’t.’ My mind was put at ease as I finally entered the laboratory. The same place where Freed was turned into a useful tool and where the Excaliburs' very essence was extracted.

I locked eyes with our dear prize. After months of research, the dear doctor managed to make a… vessel that could work in our Reforging Project.

It was an ornate longsword. The handle was light-infused leather, and its crossguard was heavily reinforced to be able to block and protect the hand, to a degree of putting a small blinding barrier around it if necessary, so as to never let go of the hilt. Lastly, the blade was forged under the same heat that made extracting those Holy Fragments from the Excaliburs, and then some.

‘’The whole thing would have been so wonderful…’’ I lamented as the building shook once more. ‘’Tsk… that pesky redhead.’’

It didn't matter. Yes, we only managed to get three swords, and not all seven, so what? Three were more than enough to put this thing to work and crush all those pathetic weaklings with a mere wave of my hand!

…If I had to sink the city in the process? So be it.

Both Rapidly and Blessing had remained in Freed’s hands, but the forging wasn’t about literally fusing the blades together. That would be unwieldy at best and completely unstable at worst. No.

To merge the Excaliburs, you had to merge their essence. The Holy Fragments… Sure, Freed may have been only able to take thirteen of them, but that was merely the limit of what humans, pitiable, fragile creatures that they were, could achieve.

A Cadre? And a Vessel for the Excalibur Fragments?

They could take so much more… And not mere fragments, but the whole thing!

After all, there was a reason for Excalibur Nightmare not to be in Freed’s little repertoire.

‘’And now… This glorious battle will be mine!’’ I grabbed the hilt of Excalibur Vessel.

The blade shone with tremendous energy, resonating with all the Holy Shards that originated from Nightmare that rested deep inside my body, and awakened all at once like a sleeper agent. ‘’Yes, yes… Hahaha… HAHAHAHAHA!’’

The building shook again, but not because of those pesky attacks coming from the Devils above; it was because of the pure holy energy that now deeply spread across my body like the roots from a tree!

It was exhilarating, it was empowering, it was maddening! My skin felt like it itched, and I wanted to scratch it off, even my wings… I wanted to tear them apart!

I was almost too much for my body to handle!

But one didn’t survive the war by being weak of mind and body! I thrived in madness, in bloodshed! I was the one destined to lead our forces ahead and to bathe in the blood of our enemies!

‘’I WAS HIS WATCHER! I WAS THE STAR OF GOD! YET THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, THAT WAS A WEAKLING WHOSE NAME DIDN’T MATTER!’’ I shouted to the very heavens as concrete and dirt parted away, revealing a clear blue sky covered in magic barriers. ‘’AND NO MATTER WHAT MEMORIES AND FEELINGS SAY…’’

For a moment, the air was tense, yet in the next, as the many holy factors inside me burned through the darkness of my body, I never felt so alive! I was no mere Kokabiel, Watcher, or Star anymore!

The words came naturally, and I couldn’t resist the smile on my face as I declared. ‘’I am… War.’’

With a pulse coming from the blade in my hand, I saw many Fallen and Devil alike fall, only for them to be teleported away, lest the potency of the holy energy coursing through my very veins was too much!

And then I saw her, the Princess of Ruin, as some fancied to call her. The blood-haired devil, who, if anything, shared one trait that I would call perfect if it wasn’t for it belonging to a species too vile and filthy.

The blue eyes of the Heiress stared me down as magic circles appeared on her palms. She wasn’t afraid, not even flinching as I showed her the power of an Ultimate-Class Cadre with three Excalibur Fragments at his disposal.

But it didn'tmatter.

She would learn.

-X-x-X-

Bonus Scene: Kitty and Dragon.

-Kuroka-

As I stared up, where a Fallen had claimed the sky as his domain, filling it with rays of pure light, and a sword that sent just the tiniest shiver down my spine, I turned to my dear fearless leader, who was…

Frowning in disappointment, cross-armed, and ready to walk away.

‘’Nyah? What is it, Vali-chan? Did you want to fight him nyow?’’ I asked, tilting my head, even if the spiritual energy inside him gave me an answer already.

‘’…That is the full fight of a ‘Cadre’ that has released the power of three Excalibur Fragments?’’ The silver-haired man asked before sighing. He didn’t even activate his Balance Breaker, merely letting the wings of Divine Dividing rest lazily on his back. ‘’I overtrained. I’m not interested anymore. Go and play with the bird if you want, Kuroka.’’

Why did he say that as if I was a leashed kitty, nyah?!

‘’I don’t think I will, nyo…’’ I pouted, to absolutely no effect, as Vali raised a curious eyebrow. ‘’…I smell my sister’s mate around here. His life energy is even stronger than before, nyah!’’

Now that made Vali suddenly shoot in interest. With a wide smile, he started to take flight.

‘’W-wait! Vali-chan, you don’t even know where he is!’’ I didn’t even know where he was, actually!

‘’Who cares?’’ He spoke confidently. ‘’He is my rival—No, my best friend! He’s bound to show a massive spectacle, so at least, I’ll linger until that moment!’’

And without warming, the White Dragon Emperor shot through the sky, uncaring about the sound barrier or how it made my ears ring painfully, meanie Vali-chan!

…

Now alone, I took another look at the birdie as it clashed against the crimson girl. Red magic circles and light swords sent shockwaves and ripples through the air as both were destroyed, one vanishing in motes of light, while the others were vaporized into dust and returned to nothing.

Yet, even then, I could easily catch Shirone’s life energy signature amid the chaos. How could I not? She was… my sister.

‘’…Claiming my kitties can wait.’’ I decided and let Senjutsu put up many illusions across my form, until I was nothing but a black cat running at incredible speeds through the streets. ‘’Shirone comes first… and maybe… meeting my dear little nieces and nephews! Nyahahaha~!’’

-X-x-X-

OMAKE: Prankster God.

-Koneko Toujou-

‘’He’s here,’’ I stated with a smile, wings flapping as I made my way to the ground.

And then I stopped dead in my tracks as a swirly, green portal manifested out of thin air. Out of it, I saw Serafall Leviathan and Ayuka Beelzebub hastily exiting, both covering their mouths for some reason.

And then I saw him, Zatren, a demented look on his face, his hair a wild mess, while carrying a girl wearing dark leather robes more fitting for an assassin than a child. She had green eyes and scars on her face, also—

Are… Are those cat ears?

‘’Koneko, you won’t believe this, Koneko,’’ Zatren started, his speech slurred, while putting the girl down. He gestured to her, and then to me. ‘’The dungeon was an alternate reality, Koneko! I spent like… ten fucking years in there, Koneko.’’

Out of nowhere, he pulled a bottle of beer, chugging two gulps while signaling to the girl, whose ears twitched as she looked at me.

‘’This is our—vurp—Oh, that was rude of me, excuse me.’’ The man cleared his throat, taking a deep breath, his shoulders shaking. ‘’This is our daughter from the future, Koneko. I still haven’t found the other two, but I found her!’’

I froze.

My eyes bore into the girl. There was… definitely some resemblance I could see, but… ten years?! Just what… what the heck happened inside there?!

‘’Zatren, what…?’’ I turned, only for the man to grab my shoulders and shake me softly.

‘’I was in a matrix, Koneko! The bastards didn’t want me out, but I fucked them up, Koneko. There was you, but you were a man, and I was a woman… I think your sister was there, too, but she was a pickle.’’ He explained, his hazel eyes growing more demented with each word. ‘’And we fucked, Koneko. I was a pregnant female Zatren, Koneko. Like I was in some sort of shitty Wattpad fic written by a fifteen-year-old with mental issues, can you believe that, Koneko?’’

‘’I… Uh…’’ I didn’t know what to say.

And that’s when the short Nekoshou, who was apparently my future daughter, grabbed my arm and looked up with big, amazed eyes. ‘’A-are you my… mother, meow?’’

…

Koneko.exe stopped working.

…

‘’…Think we went overboard,’’ Zatren said, dropping the slurred speech while looking at Ayuka.

‘’Y-you mean you went overboard.’’ Serafall pointed out with a smile.

With a click of Ayuka’s fingers, the green portal disappeared, along with Zatren’s ragged appearance. And, most importantly, the Nekoshou traits on the little girl were gone, too.

Slowly, I turned my head to the man, who only smiled.

‘’Come here, you stupid fuck—!’’ I jumped him.

‘’PHYSICAL ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE!’’ He shouted, running away from me. ‘’POLICE, MY GIRLFRIEND WANTS TO BEAT ME UUUUP!’’

‘’You’re no god! You’re a coward!’’

‘’I WILL BE AN ALIVE COWARD, THEN!’’

-X-x-X-

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Author's Note:

Let there be the reminder that it was you fucks that wanted Zatren to troll Koneko (even if it was in an Omake, kek)

The arc is coming close to an end, and Kokopuff powers up with the strength of anime and... well, not god, probably, but you get the point.

I wonder what Zuzu and Gasper have planned to stop this big and totally not cartoony ass villain. Surely, the season would not end in some type of crack-ish way. Frfr.

Foreshadowing is a tool that idk how to use.

I have 14 more chapters of this fic on my if you wish to support me.

Discord Link: .gg/92Yt5wxeWN