Gaming Badly in DxD

-Rias Gremory-

I stared down at some papers in my hand, nothing important, just some management reports of Kuoh. Yet, I couldn’t really focus on it properly. The reason was quite obvious, and even if the situation was somewhat resolved, it still irked me to no end.

‘First, a direct attack on our territory, in which I… I almost lost Yuuto. Then, the revelation from Zatren about Kokabiel and the Excalibur Fragments. All ending up with Yuuto, then trying to run away…’ A lot of things were happening way too soon, and they caught me completely off guard. ‘’…’’

‘And, of course, Zuzu is the one trying to solve everything at once.’ I reminded myself bitterly. ‘That man… he really doesn’t know when to take a break.’

‘’Rias, I feel the best course of action right now is to remain vigilant and strengthen the detection wards around town.’’ Sona, my fellow King, who was dressed in a tight, sharp business outfit which I had never seen before, proposed. ‘’We can’t let anyone else be targeted. Kiba-san was lucky enough, and knowing his… particular issues, I believe his willpower had more than a hand in not letting him drop just like that, even to an Excalibur—No, specifically because it was an Excalibur.’’

That, too. The thought ran like a firestorm in my head and heart. What if Kiba were struck just one more time? What if he didn’t have the strength to make a magic circle and teleport away? What if Zatren took a moment too long in coming back, and Yuuto was too far gone to be healed?

‘’Can we allow ourselves to deal with this situation without the help of our relatives?’’ I sighed back tiredly, watching Sona’s face contort into a grimace. ‘’This is a Cadre, and the Excaliburs we are up against, Sona. We may be—for the most part—stronger than our peerages, but an Excalibur wielded by an exorcist, and one wielded by a Cadre are two completely different beasts to tackle head on.’’

The chances were slim, but to be fair, telling both Lucifer and Leviathan about it won’t resolve the issue entirely. There was still the political mess of their men's bases being in Church territory. A place where we would not be able to set foot into, lest our presence, along with that of the Fallen, make for an insinuation of war.

Which, apparently, is the sole goal of that mad warmonger.

‘’We cannot.’’ A sigh and a shake of Sona’s head was my answer. ‘’However…’’

I raised an eyebrow, gesturing for her to keep going. If she had any idea in that head of hers, I would be glad to hear it. It certainly would help out more than the emotional mess brewing in mine.

‘’Let me rectify. We cannot go forward without informing the Satans. This is a political mess of a much higher degree than simply defending our territory.’’ I nodded along, and then, Sona’s face changed from a deep frown into a small grin. ‘’What we can do is let them handle the political aspect only. Basically, no interference unless absolutely necessary. Meaning that, in reality, we would deal with the brunt of the situation.’’

I paused, dropping the papers on the table before leaning forward, looking her directly in the eye. ‘’…Which would then make us—in more than one set of eyes—seem more than competent enough, and that would help with both of our future goals.’’

Sona nodded with a pleased expression.

It was the riskiest bet I could have ever taken.

Basically, if we could deal with most of this on our own, that would boost both of our houses' status, separate us somewhat from the shadow of our siblings, and give us, in turn, more influence we could throw around.

For me, that meant better chances of making up a great, complete peerage that would be able to compete in official Rating Games. As for Sona, this meant that her dream of making a school to teach the less privileged part of our society was all the more reachable.

‘’Are we strong enough?’’ I shot back, curious. ‘’Without relying on Zatren to do it for us, I mean. He… I just don’t want to see him carry all of the stress. He tries to do so much, and he’s basically the same age as us, Sona.’’

I paused, taking a deep breath, side-glancing the box on the corner before raising an eyebrow at my friend. ‘’So, could we?’’

We stayed in silence for a bit before breaking into small chuckles. The answer to that question was a bit too obvious, but it helped lighten up the mood.

‘’Definitely not.’’ Sona sighed, a rare occurrence of her and me accepting this particular shortcoming without a fight. ‘’However, we can be. And while we would still be relying heavily on… our paramour. It would nonetheless work out in the end, I believe.’’

Indeed, we still had quite a bit to dig into. For starters, training with Zatren seemed to push the limits of whoever was in his care much further. I noticed it with Sachi and Asia the most. Making them go from practically baseline humans into powerful Devils, which were more than deserving of the moniker of ‘Middle-Class’. In the span of two weeks.

I had my own theory, considering how the ones who progressed the most were in the following order: Sachi, Asia, Kiba, Koneko, Akeno, and me.

At first, I thought it was a coincidence, but no. The list of who received the most and who received the least was in order. Specifically, an order of overall power… compared to Zuzu himself.

Would that mean that now, his training could turn most of my family into High-Class devils? What about going even higher?

‘Could Zatren turn a High-Class into an Ultimate? An Ultimate into the level of a Satan?’

…This was without mentioning how to use Zuzu’s blessing in our favor.

Both Sona and I were ‘blessed’ by a Deus. However, we didn’t go much deeper into investigating how we could exploit this blessing to our advantage besides our Demonic Power reserves growing in the moment of the ‘ceremony’ itself.

‘’A lot of plans, and an unknown amount of time. Considering that we will probably receive another ‘invasion’ of sorts, since the first attack was… successful.’’ I bit the words down bitterly, no matter how right they were. ‘’…However, there is another matter that you let slip out, Sona.’’

The girl crossed her legs, raising a curious eyebrow. ‘’What would that be, Rias?’’

She acted nonchalant, but it was impossible to hide the facts from me.

Sona had come along with Zatren, both dressed in somewhat casual yet stylish clothes that you would normally wear on an outing. Not only that, but she had put the nail in the coffin herself.

‘’Ourparamour, is he?’’ I teased, watching as Sona’s eyes widened and her face broke into a small flush. ‘’So forward~ Zuzu was really worried about you. Thinking he was such a headache for his dear King, and you take advantage of his guilt to seduce him? For shame, Sona…’’

Each word I spewed was a teasing remark that made Sona’s blush worsen. Her eyebrow twitched before she shot up from her seat and pointed an accusing finger.

‘’That man is anything but a victim in this scenario! Do you know the things he did to make me agree to a date?!’’ I was kind of surprised at the tone, but I just needed to know the details. ‘’He broke into my house! I was hugging him like a teddy bear at dawnbreak! He flirted with me at every waking moment, and then he used that to his advantage to beat me in chess!’’

‘Oh? Zuzu beat Sona of all people in chess? By ‘’cheating’’ no less?’ I almost cackled up, but I had to show composure.

‘’Hm. That sounds like you let a junior get the better of you… Not a much better look, So-chan~’’

Of course, Sona wasn’t an idiot; she immediately knew that I was egging her on. And, instead of following up on the rant, she did something surprising.

She bragged.

‘’Well, he woke me up with whispers and loving words before serving me breakfast,’’ Sona added innocently with crossed arms before she put on a curious façade. ‘’I wonder, did he do the same for you, dear Ri-chan?’’

…Oh, this bitch was on.

‘’Has he sung for you before, friend? I’ll say, he really knows how to hit those vocals. It’s beautiful.’’ I started on a technicality, offering a tight smile.

‘’He hasn’t. Though the way he came to my residence, bringing food and company every day, is worth more than a single song, I’ll say.’’ Sona smiled as the air around us started to ripple.

‘’He gets quite possessive, you know? Especially around these…’’ I hummed, putting my arms below my bust to accentuate it further. ‘’Not that you could relate…’’

That earned a twitch of her eyebrow. Then, in a bold move, she turned around, sitting on the head of the couch, leaving her perky, tight ass covered by that business skirt in the open. ‘’He seems to appreciate the rear of a woman quite a bit in my observations. I will concur, I could not have stopped him if I wanted to. He gets quite handsy.’’

‘’He chased me down first. Even knowing about my arranged marriage.’’ I spat, glaring.

‘’He offered to join my peerage first. Quite eagerly, too.’’ Sona rebuked smugly.

‘’I let him carry me all around. Felt like I was flying~’’

‘’As did he drag me around. To the beach, even. Romantic.’’

‘’I let him hold me as he took my maidenhood inside his home. All the while he whispered sweet verbose in my ears!’’

‘’Well, I pet his head. Like a good boy, while I rode his face on the beach. He gets quite obedient when you—‘’

‘’Ayo. Pause.’’ A voice broke through our argument.

I didn’t even notice when we were so close to each other, chest against chest. But both of us turned to the side… There was Koneko, with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms. ‘’That’s my man you’re talking about…’’

‘Her’ man, who was currently kneeling on the floor, shoulders shaking, as the only sound that came out of his mouth was the equivalent of a kettle filled with piping hot water.

…We must have been too focused on our little conversation. Not noticing when the two had teleported right back.

‘’Haaaaa…’’ Zatren wheezed, holding his chest while Koneko amusedly drew circles on his back. ‘’I c-can’t.. I… They…Pfff—HAHAHAHAHA!’’

And just like a dam breaking, the wheezing led to copious amounts of full-belly laughter that echoed all across the living room of the occult research club.

I glanced at Sona, and she did too. Her cheeks were flushed a deep crimson, and I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. Sadly, I felt that I was in a similar situation.

‘’So embarrassing…’’ ‘’How improper…’’ We nodded to each other.

Just in time for the man to recover from his echoing laughter and wipe the amused tears from his face. Then, he simply walked up like he owned the place and grabbed my shoulders.

‘’Z-Zuzu…?’’ I smiled impishly. ‘’You’re not mad, are you—Mhn!’’

He planted a kiss on my lips. Shocked, I just let him do it; I could taste a slightly chocolaty-minty taste that I hadn’t felt before. Which made me think he was just doing the same to Koneko not long ago.

Zuzu pulled backwards, giving me a grin as I stared dumbly, then he turned around and grabbed Sona.

‘’Zatren. I don’t believe this is—Ah…’’ And he kissed her, too. Unlike me, however, Sona didn’t seem as shocked. Once her protests were put down, she returned the kiss with the same loving fervor. ‘’…How brutish.’’

And, for some reason, I felt heat pooling between my legs at the scene…

I sat down before I started fidgeting with my thighs as the two separated. Zatren turned around to give a kiss to Koneko, who didn’t hesitate to pull down his collar as they kissed.

‘’A charmer, isn’t he?’’ Sona hummed as she sat down beside me. Trying to straighten her clothing and readjust her glasses.

I stared, amused. ‘’Well, there’s a reason we fell for him.’’

‘’Quite.’’

After the small bout of affection was over, Zatren gave a tired groan before… taking his place of rest on our laps.

He simply walked up, and before Sona could say anything, gave a completely unfair pout that made my friend shut up and turn her gaze away. Meanwhile, I simply smiled at the foolishness of the act before offering an embrace that the man gladly took.

Meanwhile, I glanced at Koneko with a tight expression. ‘’What did the doctor say, Koneko?’’

The white catgirl flickered her set of tails from side to side, moving to my side and placing part of Zatren’s torso across her own lap. ‘’It was alright… I’m having three kittens and—yawn—the sleeping issue… we can solve…’’ She hummed before resting her head on my arm.

I wanted to ask more, but the girl simply fell asleep like that. And, considering the day we had today. ‘It isn’t even noon, I believe…’

Yeah, it was better for all of us to take a rest.

‘’Thank you~’’ Zuzu said against Sona’s covered stomach, making the girl flush and turn her gaze away. For a moment, a single, non-covered hazel eye stared at us, along with half a smile, the remaining part of which wasn’t covered by Sona’s tummy. ‘’Just for a bit… A little nap, please…’’

‘’B-but…I… This is a bit forward.’’ Sona struggled somewhat before I took one of her hands. ‘’Rias?’’

…I was trying to get my head around the fact that she thought this was forward, but not face-sitting our lover on the first date.

But in the meantime…

‘’Here, you could even fall asleep yourself while doing this,’’ I explained by placing Sona’s hand on top of Zatren’s cascading head of hair, doing soft, circular movements that the man certainly enjoyed. ‘’Soft, isn’t it?’’

Sona stared, and I released her hand, but she kept the petting at her own rhythm as her mouth stood slightly agape, as if she had somehow discovered fire, when in reality, it was only the pleasantry of having your partner close with calm shows of affection.

‘However…’ I side-glanced the box, from which I could see a pair of eyes sticking out, before they hid away with nay a sound. ‘Doing it so openly is still embarrassing…’

I’ll admit, I was too preoccupied to ‘take’ Gasper outside the room before I started my conversation with Sona.

I had just recently released him from his seal, since Zatren’s blessing and training, along with our victory against Riser, gave me a bit more confidence when it came to dealing with the half-vampire’s Balors View.

It technically worked! I believe I could even see a bit when Gasper froze time without intending to. And that, along with positive encouragement, gave him enough courage to leave his room and get to the living room at least. Which, considering all that happened with Kiba… yeah.

In any case…

‘I’m so sorry, Gasper! I promise it wasn’t intentional!’ I apologized mentally while basking in the warmth of having two girls around my shoulders and my lover on my lap. ‘Please entertain yourself with your phone for a bit!’

Koneko may be onto something. I could take a nap like this.

-X-x-X-

-Gasper Vladi-

‘’Are you sure you’ll be fine? You still look tired, Senpai.’’ Koneko said in worry.

I never really heard her like that before… but there are a lot of things I kind of missed.

For example, Kokeno-chan was going to be a mom! I was so surprised! I sent her a text in congratulations and everything!

Though when she came to visit… I just couldn’t come out of the box. It was too scary!

‘’Yeah, I’ll be fine, just—yaaawn—I’ll just nap a bit more. Trust me.’’ The one I recognized as Zatren said tiredly. ‘’Now hush, hush. Someone has to make sure Rei and Kuroro don’t take down another wall~’’

‘He’s so cool!’ I thought excitedly. I saw everything in the Rating game! Sure, I couldn’t really… participate, but I had seen my friends fight like never before. They all got so strong, it was amazing!

Though I, again, did not come out to congratulate them… But I sent a message! That has to count for something, right?

…Right?!

‘Hmm…’ I placed my head on the floor of my box, drawing circles with my finger as my sharp hearing got the sound of the door clicking shut. Then, the only thing I could pick up was the breathing of Zatren as it changed from normal to slow, controlled, and calm. ‘…Is he really asleep?’

I peeked from the holes in the box. I couldn’t see anyone else besides the man, eyes closed, hands behind his back, sleeping placidly on the couch. He had eyebags that looked… awfully aesthetic? I didn’t think Devil physiology could make eyebags like that.

‘But he’s really asleep!’ Nervousness filled my entire body.

I was really going to do it! My skin itched all over and I felt nauseous, but I had to… to at least see him properly! He did so much for Big Sister Rias and the rest… I couldn’t just hide every time he came around! It was already a surprise that I was ‘let out’ of that seal since Rias told me she felt strong enough to hold me together in case something bad happened.

‘I’m doing it again… I’m rambling! Come on, Gasper. One… Two…’

‘Three!’ Suddenly, I opened my box by basically jumping out. ‘’…’’

I blinked, staring at the man. My sudden outburst didn’t seem to wake him up. That was good, at least!

Stepping out of the box, I patted myself over. He may be asleep, but that didn’t mean my clothes had to be wrinkly or out of place. Today, too, I used Kuoh’s… girls' uniform.

It just… felt nice.

Though the black thighs were a personal choice. It was only because I felt cold… and they looked cute! Yeah, cute things are great like that!

Nervously, I gazed at the sleeping man, and got closer until—Huh?

Sniff… sniff…

‘Did Big Sister Akeno cook something today?’ The air smelled really good for some reason. The entire living room, even! Whaa… That made me kind of hungry, and I didn’t have time to pack any snacks in my box!

I considered taking a photo of Zatren; it would be a unique chance to have it! He looked so cool during the Rating Game. I… I wanted to ask for an autograph, too! But… No way, no way! It was too embarrassing! What if I froze him without wanting to in the middle of asking?!

Uuuuhh…. I would die of shame. I could never show my face again!

‘’But first…’’ I whispered, sniffing the air once more. I feel a small bit of drool fall off my chin. ‘’…Where does that smell come from? I need to check the fridge. It smells so gooood…~’’

Yet, in the fridge, the small kitchenette, no matter where I looked, I couldn’t find any! If it wasn’t food, then what was it that smelled so good?

‘Maybe if I close my eyes… and let my nose do the work?’ I wondered, and did as much. ‘…I can smell it more clearly now!’

Slowly, I walked around the living room. Following the scent. Until the intensity was so that I started to drool again. Slowly but surely, I approached, until… ‘’Hie!’’ My nose bumped against it. I felt my fangs sharpen and elongate slightly, and I just really wanted to have a bite…

So I did.

…And then a coppery, deliciously sweet taste filled my mouth.

‘That… that’s almost like…’ I opened my eyes, seeing the arm I was now biting with wide, shocked eyes. ‘Oh no… nononono!’

The delicious smell I got was nothing else than Zatren’s blood. I did know that he was a supernatural race of some kind before becoming a Devil. Kind of like me or big sister Akeno…

But I didn’t know his blood would call to my vampire side this much! I-I NEVER bit someone before. What should I do? What am I supposed to do?!

…It’s the first time I really tasted blood. S-something about Dhampir’s not needing it to live… but… It was so delicious!

I need to stop biting him! But it’s so tasty… No, no! You don’t even know him, Gasper… But I was so hungry!

As each gulp of blood filled my mouth and stomach, I stood frozen, kneeling in front of the couch, with my fangs on the sleeping man’s arm. Like I was a leech, a disgraceful leech!

‘…Maybe he won’t wake up. A-and I saw him heal from worse in seconds. S-so… if I… just eat a bit more…’

It felt amazing, like every nerve of my body was on fire. I knew it was wrong, but each gulp felt like I was on the moon. I could feel my body being filled with strength that I’ve never known I had before, even Balor’s View—

‘’Is that a weird greeting vampires do that I don’t know about?’’ I stilled. Frozen, caught in the criminal act of sucking the blood out of a stranger. ‘’…You really look too much like a girl. That’s… huh.’’

…

I stared up, fangs inch-deep into the man’s arms, as he looked in curiosity at the blood being sucked out of his arm. And only one specific thought ran through my mind:

‘…Please kill me.’

I didn’t know where to put my hands, where to look, what to do… ‘HE WOKE UP! AND I’M STILL TAKING HIS BLOOD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!’ The moment realization hit, I felt my Sacred Gear go out of control. The time froze, the entire world in my gaze coming to a dark grey…

…Only for the form of the man to brighten up with its regular colors, and for him to look around in wonder.

‘’…This is stopped time…?’’ Zatren whispered, while I looked in shock. Then, he was deep in thought, the hand that wasn’t being held—When did I grab his hand?—by me, coming to scratch his chin. ‘’…Kono Gasper da.’’

…

‘’Y-you know of that anime…?’’ I asked, surprised.

I haven’t noticed, but by sucking his blood, not only did I feel my stomach warm and full, but I was revitalized all around. I could even feelBalor’s View, and, as if it were a switch I could flick, the time resumed. ‘’…W-woah…’’

The man smiled, looking at his arm for a bit. I also stared in wonder as the bite mark I had left with my fang was quickly stitched together as if it had never been there. The pale skin around the bite quickly filled with color. The man’s blood replenished almost instantly.

‘Amazing…!’ I had never seen such fast healing outside of the Phenex!

‘’I sure have,’’ Zatren spoke proudly, sitting up and puffing up his chest. ‘’I am even more of a weeb than Rias herself! Because I have knowledge of anime she has never seen before!’’

‘Seriously?! Not even big sister Rias?!’ It was almost impossible to think about it!

‘’So, now that you have had a snack. Want to chat for a bit?’’ The following tired yet calm smile came as a shock.

It was like when Rias tried to calm me down, the times I had frozen something I didn’t want to. But… kinder? No… I couldn’t really place it.

I had just bitten his arm, sucked out his blood, and he was still… so friendly! ‘’You can be inside your box if you prefer, and just let me ramble. It’s alright.’’

I blinked, feeling a sudden sense of warmth in my chest. The proposition… it was nice. I always felt way too nervous chatting with the rest. Even Rias, but for some reason, I felt like I could do it with Zatren. Was it because of some sort of supernatural charm in his voice since he was part Mermaid, or was it because I had drunk his blood?

Remembering the fact alone made me pause. Blood rushed to my face, and I immediately hid inside my box as fast as I could, closing the top… but peeking my eyes through the holes in it.

‘’I-I’m alright in the box… thanks,’’ I whispered meekly, cursing internally at how my voice broke, but being too embarrassed to speak any higher. ‘’S-so…’’

‘’Sure, I don’t mind. Now, let me tell you about the greatest piece of media ever. It’s called Jujutsu Kaisen, and…’’

The following conversation, as one-sided as it was, was the first one I could feel comfortable enough to give an opinion on in a long while.

It was… nice.

-X-x-X-

-Mittelt-

‘’Where did that idiot run off to?” I grumbled, taking a spoonful of stew that Chrysalis had made. Definitely not because I couldn’t be trusted with the kitchen. No sir. ”Isn’t it noon already?”

Chrysalis, who was tasting her own meal, looked at me with those intense, strange eyes before giving a non-committal buzzing hum. “Master said he was trying to claim one of his prospect mates. Maybe he’s still in the process of rightfully inseminating her and laying his seed?”

I dropped my spoon, glaring at the stew, and then back at Chrys. “...Why the fuck do I even ask you? You’re ruining my appetite.”

Chrysalis merely laughed, the sound reverberating and multi-layered, but still incredibly pompous. Like some sort of noble lady from the Middle Ages.

Why was it even so nice? Dammit!

“Don’t worry, little crow—” I hissed. “—I bet he will try the same to you soon enough. I don’t take the Master to be one to leave his broodmares unclaimed. Though, do make haste in a way to teach your hatchlings not to eat mine. It would be most disgraceful.”

Thunk.

That was the sound of my head against the table.

“Please stop… Fallens don’t even lay eggs… please, just shut up…” Zatren! Come back! I need a regular conversation! I can’t deal with this insemination-obsessed airhead!

Riiing.

“A distraction!” I jumped at the sound of the doorbell being rang, and left the table and food behind. “Coming!”

‘Finally, some proper, human interaction. Anything would do, just to not listen to Chrys’s ramblings…’ I sighed, approached the door, making sure I was not showing any sort of supernatural objects or parts, and then opened the door. “Yes, how can I help… you?”

Standing on the door were two white-robed women. A blonde-haired one with a serious expression, while behind her was a bright blue-haired one with a green streak that cut through her head.

…And for some reason, she was glaring quite intensely at me.

I frowned. I couldn’t see what the women wielded below their robes, and while clean and proper, they didn’t have any details bordered in them, only some black buttons that held them together.

However, the blue-haired one reached her hand back, and there was a cloth-covered object on her back which sent a shiver down my spine. Yet, just as she was about to put her hand on it, and I was equally reaching my hands to the daggers hidden below my skirt, the blonde woman spoke.

“Xenovia. Stand down.” She directed a pointed stare at her companion. “We come holding no intent to fight.”

“But…” With nothing more than that stare, the blue-haired girl, called Xenoxia or something, took one more glance at me before sighing and retracting her hand. “Understood. I apologize for my brazen action.”

I blinked, glancing between the two before the blonde one, whom I believed was in charge, directed a small bow of the head my way.

“I’m very sorry for that. We had just gotten some… gruesome situations in our hands, and my companion here is quite jumpy because of that.” She explained, hands where I could see them so she appeared less threatening.

But the robes, the unsettling, clothed object, and their initial reaction, along with “gruesome situation”, gave me a guess.

“Because I’m a Fallen, is it not?” I spat, frowning. “You’re from the church.”

Silence settled. The air was clearly tense, and I just focused my gaze on Xeno…whatever, since she seemed to most trigger-happy. The blonde's amicability was actually the only reason I haven’t slammed the door in their faces and called Zatren ASAP.

Though if push came to shove, I believed Chrys and me could hold our own.

“Indeed.” The woman said with a solemn nod. “Please, do not think this is a threat of some kind. You are free to go around Rome as much as you want. We only wanted to ask some questions.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

Seeing my compliance, the woman asked. “Well, the most pressing of all would be if you had seen a… Deus, or if you know anything about him in specific?” It seemed like a question, but by the woman’s hardened gaze and thin-pressed lips, I believed she suspected something.

“Hm. You want Zatren.” I sighed. Then, I took out my phone and spammed a few messages to the idiot, much to the exorcist's befuddlement. “Right. Come on in, he should he around in a few.”

The moment I turned around, however, the blue one practically squeaked a response, shocked. “You… just like that? But what if we were lying, and we came with harmful intentions?” I glanced at her.

Right, they don’t know Zatren. They are just looking for him.

“Zatren already knows you’re here since I texted him.” I shrugged, gesturing them in. “So, if you do anything other than being cordial and friendly, like, say, attack me…’’

I frowned, giving the two women a once-over before nodding. “Yeah, you are not strong enough. You’ll die.” I smiled, enjoying the shocked look of the older woman and the indignation of the blue one.

First and foremost, I was a Fallen before I was that idiot’s lover, and I won’t be ashamed to say that I enjoyed bits and pieces of suffering here and there.

Seeing church idiots be indignant and awed at the thinly veiled threat I threw their way was quite nice, hihihi.

“Come on. I don’t promise that there’s enough food if you take any longer.” I pointed inside with my head before walking back to the dining room. “We eat quite a bit in this house.”

And that was without counting Koneko. That kitty was one hungry girl…

-X-x-X-

-Zatren Fumigami-

‘’That went well.’’ I stretched while stepping out of the building, feeling some muscles pop into place as I groaned. ‘’Filled Gasper’s head with so many damn memes and at least part of JJK general knowledge. That’s going to last him a while.’’

I still felt a bit tired, however. Gasper interrupted my nap in… a bit of an awkward way. It’s also my fault for not stopping him; however, in my defense, he looked absolutely adorable while doing it.

…

‘’I mean… Gasper does look like a girl, even though I know it’s a boy cross-dressing. So, is it weird that I find him cute even if it’s a dude?’’ I held the thought for a bit, looking at the ground, then at the sky, humming in confusion. ‘’If boy, but dressed as girl, is it still gay?’’

The logical part of my brain said that, yes. Very much so, actually. Was there some kind of magic that deals with genderbending?

…But won’t that be like, awfully awkward if Gasper actually wants to just be a dude dressed as a girl? Maybe I’m questioning it too much. Why should I pursue the Dhampir in the first place? Was it my Greed speaking?

For questioning your sexuality for the first time, you got a Gacha Token.

‘’Oi. Do you just save these for whenever you want?’’ I snapped at the screen, pointing at it with the tip of my spear. ‘’You piece of shit. I tied with Vali the other day, and you didn’t give me jack.’’

You tied. Didn’t win.

‘’Ah, yes, and mentally asking if banging a femboy or not is gay somehow gets me a pull.’’ I deadpanned, then shook my head with a sigh.’’ I don’t have time for this crap.’’

I frowned, staring blankly at the sky while I prepared to use my Hourglass Pike to check up on Mittelt and Chrys. After all, I was kind of MIA for more than I would like, considering it’s somewhat past noon already.

Then, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

‘’…Kiba, I swear to fucking God if you run away again, I’ll turn you into bat soup,’’ I growled, checking the message with tired eyes. Fortunately, it was not from Kiba or about Kiba. ‘’Mittelt? Ah, she must be pissed off—Huh?’’

Unfortunately, it was much worse than Kiba going rogue again.

Because the message was a quick ‘Church people here’ followed a few minutes later by a selfie of Mittelt giving a bored peace sign while a blue-haired girl with a massive sword-shaped object covered in cloth tied to her back ate a plate of stew, with a few plates discarded by her side.

Meanwhile, there was another, older woman sitting beside her who was frowning at the attitude of her companion.

‘…Why the fuck is Xenovia in my house?’ I thought. Not remembering the name of the other woman. ‘I just want some uninterrupted sleep. Is that too much to ask?’

Apparently, it was. Because the next message, the one who had made my phone vibrate, was a simple ‘they are searching for you. Hurry up before blue-ey here empties our fridge.’

…

‘’Well, at least they aren’t hostile.’’ I was about to be, however. Because if there was another problem before I could take a powernap, I was going to crash out. ‘’Still need to check in with Azazel… upgrade my new unlocks, Senjutsu training today, and see if once and for all I’ll do something with those Evil Pieces of mine… Oh, and that Instant Dungeon Crystal. I may not need the power boost, but I’m not letting it sit in my pocket forever.’’

To be fair, if I could match Vali’s Balance Breaker into a tie, I believe there was not much danger to visit an Epic Tier Dungeon. And considering the many materials I could take without any repercussions, it was going to be grand.

If it's harder than the Underwater Dungeon, then I may get enough to upgrade my armor along with my Weapon Forms. If I managed to get my stats just a bit higher and train my SPI up with Kuroka, then I was absolutely golden.

‘’Much to do, little time to do it.’’ I hummed. ‘’After this shit, I’m taking a vacation of my own. There must be some interesting shit in Italy, or even here in Japan.’’

‘’[Portal Spear II]’’ Opening a rift into space, I jumped right through. Next stop: My damn house and dealing with Exorcists.

Fun.

-X-x-X-

Bonus Scene: Curiosity Piqued.

-Izanami-

‘’One of us! One of us!’’ The traveling God chanted while holding the shoulder of a chiton-wearing, black haired man. The clothing was something born out of Greece and Rome, I believed. ‘’Did you see, Apollo, did you see?’’

The man took a deep breath, shaking his head in amusement. Apparently, Hermes's taking too long brought the attention of more than one God. Apollo, God of the Sun and Music, took it upon himself to see what was going on.

That is to say, Thanatos looked equal parts surprised and happy. Even with that veil covering her face, it was obvious by her mannerisms that the Hand of Death did not receive this many visits on her domain.

‘’Yes, Hermes, I saw. Please stop shaking me.’’ The man chuckled, his voice like silk, tone composed yet amused. ‘’Though I still wonder what great interest you held over this one. But I’ll say, watching him and his consort rob your lyre and… Ares’s spear out of that ‘exhibition’ was indeed amusing.’’

‘’Hm. Aphrodite may be wrath-prone…’’ Thanatos hummed to herself. ‘’But… well, he doth look a bit like Ares did…’’

The complexity of the Olympians’… filial relationships was something I won’t pry into. However, it was a wonder just how different two Pantheons that existed at the same time could be so different from one another.

‘…Ah, not quite… Wasn’t little Ama a bit too attached to her older brother?’ I wondered, frowning.

‘’OH, oh! What are those? That screen that popped up? What’s a Gacha?’’ The God of stealing and traveling wondered with excited green eyes. The androgynous God looked over to me. ‘’Iza, you have seen him the longest, have you not? What are those?’’

Ah, yes. The ‘’Tokens’’.

‘’If I remember correctly. Those are like drawing a fortune. From what I know, that’s how he even ascended to a Godling in the first place.’’ I explained, cautious of the stars in Hermes’ eyes. ‘’However, there were times when they didn’t give much to him. I believe it’s solely based on luck.’’

That appeared to be the wrong thing to say.

Because Hermes paused, before cackling like a madman. His eyes were suddenly obscured by his hat, and an unsettling smile appeared on his face. The next moment, it was gone, but I could feel some sort of Divine energy being moved around.

‘’Hm…’’ Apollo hummed with a polite smile, before making a letter appear with a hand gesture. ‘’I believe my sister would be interested in this, for the most part. Is there a problem with that?’’

He turned to Thanatos, who simply shook her head. ‘’Excellent. Do not worry, our dear Hand. We’ll be sure to reward you plenty. It has been quite the boring years around here lately…’’

‘I believe I’ve brought quite a bit of attention to the little sapling.’ I mused, watching the screen as the man, Zatren Fumigami, was deep in thought while looking at the sky. ‘I… should probably speak to him soon. At least, a message. Though would it be as enjoyable if he knew we were watching?’

She really didn’t want to ruin this little adventure. Maybe just a polite greeting would be enough?

-X-x-X-

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Author's Note:

Have some slice of life, and I'll see you next week!

Anyway, Sona and Rias are bout to lock in, it seems. Hope Kokopuff knows what he's done, lmao.

Also, a few weeks (months?) back, I made a poll on my discord related to Zuzu bagging Gasper as a femboy or him becoming a girl and THEN bagging him. The latter won, so Gasper is still out of reach (for now) for those who fancy the cross-dressing dhampir.

The Gods being able to see the token screen is intentional, dw. You guys are not the only ones amused at their general reactions, kek.

ANYWAY! I have 11 more chapters of this fic on my here (or down below) if you wish to support me and read ahead, hope you enjoyed the chappy!

Discord Link: .gg/92Yt5wxeWN