Gaming Badly in DxD

-Zatren Fumigami-

‘I swear, next time I see that brown-haired, glasses-wearing, succubus in disguise that calls herself Aika Kiryuu, I’m slapping her like a brat— No, that won’t work, it’ll be like a reward for the pervert!’ I grumbled internally while waiting in my living room.

My mental musings on violence were not out of spite or anger, no. But out of sheer embarrassment.

I’ll say… as much as it was mortifying, it was an equal part… thrilling.

So much so that we went ahead and did another round of two, now very much aware of the ongoing call with Rias, until Aika finally passed out.

Of course, I made sure to clean up her room and the like. Also, I left breakfast ready for her when she woke up.

It was laughably easy to just engrave a calculation on a piece of paper, put it below the covered plate, and then pump just a smidge of mana to make it so the food stayed warm until the magic ran out.

The experience must have put Aika in a good mood, because just early the next morning, I got a call from Sona.

In the middle of the school day.

Sona, using her phone during class time?! Proposterus! Scandalous, even!

“Zatren-san. Sorry to interrupt your time of rest, but… do you know if anything happened to Kiryuu-san?” The voice of the Sitri Heiress leaked something akin to a mix of worry and disbelief.

“She has been acting… strange. No smug and sarcastic comments to the male student body. No prohibited manga or media of—ehem—adult nature… And, the most concerning of all, I had heard of her reporting and admonishing unruly conduct when she caught wind of it during recess. All with a dreamy smile on her face.”

I stared at my phone with half-lidded eyes. Still half-asleep since I decided to sleep in. And before the words could register in my mind, I answered with the truth.

The explicit truth.

“I fucked her.” I yawned. Sitting up on this perfect, fluffy prison I called a bed. “All the way until she passed out, around three in the morning.”

Silence took over the line for a long minute as the grogginess was slowly lifted from my mind.

“...I see.” The heiress replied in a neutral tone.

Before hanging up.

Yeah, Sona must be so tired of my bullshit by now.

On another note, The fact that Aika showed up to school, radiant as a rose, and healthy as a mule after possibly sleeping only four hours and getting fucked into the mattress only supported my theory of her being a succubus-in-disguise even further!

Joking aside, later on the day—around half an hour ago—I got a message from Sona (an awfully formal wall of text on which I had to use Thought Acceleration to get through) talking about an event later that night.

That, and an entire paragraph dedicated to proper rest and proper use of sex as a tool for self-relief, explaining the dangers of over-indulgence, and also going into great detail of… STDs.

Did you know that there were magical STDs? I fucking didn’t, and they’re terrifying!

Oddly informative and… nice? Of her.

Anyway! Today at midnight, we were going to the familiar forest to get me and Ruruko a little buddy we could technically use for devil work. it was like a rite of passing sort of thing from being a pamphlet deliverer, to an actual, fully formed Devil in her and Rias peerage.

…Not like I did much of that, but I wasn’t going to deny free stuff!

So, what was I doing now? Fully recovered from my fight with Riser and ready to go?

I was waiting for my teacher, of course! Since today was, coincidentally enough, a day in which, agreed by our contract, I was to be researched on, and then taught advanced magic theory.

Nothing like getting experimented on fresh out of break day!

Suddenly, the magic circle in the room lit up with the symbol of a massive, incredibly realistic fly, and I jumped from my seat and walked right into it.

“Speak of the devil, and he— er, she shall appear. Literally!” I chuckled at my own joke and vanished in a burst of light by jumping into the flaring circle.

…

Mittelt, who was just cleaning the room, and had seen her boyfriend staring at absolutely nothing before jumping from his place on the couch, shouting a random joke out of nowhere, and teleporting away, just stared in silence.

“He may be an actual psychiatric ward patient, after all.” She sniffed, her face scrunching up slightly. “God, I’m in love with a madman.”

Choice of romantic partner aside, the girl just sighed and went to the kitchen to get herself a snack.

-X-x-X-

-Ayuka Beelzebub-

‘I pity Sirzechs, truly.’ Mirthlessly, I scrolled through my mobile device and watched as thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of devils commented on the Devilnet.

The sudden furor of excitement? The recent Rating Game between the Gremory Heiress and the third son of the Phenex.

Usually, amateur games don’t tend to gather much attention from already experienced devils. Mostly, only those who are young and wide-eyed.

So, what made the difference?

For starters. The fact that both participants were formidable in their own right.

Riser Phenex held quite the infamy around the amateur Rating Game scene, and his family is one of, if not the wealthiest, bloodline of the current era. Their Phenex Tears are just that formidable, since demand for healing is always on an all-time high. Especially as we are currently in a cold war with the Angels and the Fallen, Races that have ‘easy’ access to healing in the form of Holy and Light magic, respectively.

That, and the fact that their Phenex Regeneration and their control over fire and the wind make their bloodline trait one of the strongest. Offense and Recovery. No wonder they were indispensable during the Great War.

On the other side, the Gremory Heiress, wielding the infamous Power of Destruction. Capable of erasing all and anything it touched. While this was a wild exaggeration most of the time, there is a clear example in my closest friend, Sirzechs Lucifer, of how deadly this power was when wielded with wit and talent.

Their confrontation turned more than one head. And then, with the ‘crowd’ staring, my dear student did the unprecedented.

A barrier containing a formidable being, much stronger than the caster. The level of space manipulation alone would raise most eyebrows, even from experienced warriors. But using the name of one of the oldest houses of devil-kind? A founder devil, no less.

‘To throw the name Leviathan around so carelessly…’ The thought did bring some amusement with it. Mostly because I wasn’t the one dealing with its fallout. ‘My dear student turned out to be a bit of a handful, hm?’

Obviously enough, this led those old fools to froth at the mouth and throw accusations carelessly. Bringing up for the umpteenth time how Reincarnated Devils were a sign of weakness, and some other nonsense of blood purity and whatnot.

So, yes, I pitied Sirzechs. Since I didn’t have to deal with these fools as often.

Not like I regretted helping in Zatren’s achievement. On the contrary, I was searching to nurture it further, and for that, I needed understanding.

Currently, I am waiting patiently in the middle of a training field. Well, I called it a training field, but it was mostly a piece of barren land which I had cleared of wild monsters and overgrown vegetation. With a snap of my fingers, the stirred soil compacted and hardened, becoming stable ground to step on in nay seconds.

‘Just in time…’ I smiled as a magic circle flared on the ground. As always, this foolish student of mine arrived on the dot.

“Yahoo~ Teacher Ayuka!” After the light subsided, the grinning form of the oddly mannered young man saluted me from the spot in which he appeared.

Almost immediately, his eyes quickly scanned our surroundings. The way his pupils practically flew inside his eyes was something that also interested me greatly. Maybe another time, with the proper equipment.

“I thought we had magic training today?” Zatren pouted. Probably eager to stretch his magic around after recovery. Then, his gaze turned questioning. “Also, I’m no scientist, but how are you experimenting on me without a lab?”

Ah, how banal. Experimentation can be made perfectly with rudimentary tools and a touch of finesse!

“Do not worry about that, Mr Zatren,” I reassure with a gesture. “Today, I actually wanted to talk about your most recent spell. You see, theory is nice and all, but seeing and experiencing its effects firsthand is the most important part of any research.” My hint did not go unnoticed by the young devil, as his eyebrows shot past his hairline.

“You want me to hit you with my domain?” I nodded, already casting a few wards around myself, the area that would be swallowed up by the barrier, and just where its peak distance ended. Which should be around… 100.2 meters. “...I just recovered, teach. I would like to avoid the hospital visit.”

“An unnecessary concern.” With a flick of my wrist, a small vial, no bigger than a knuckle, appeared on my hand: a vial of Phenex Tears.

The face of sheer surprise and bafflement on him was quite amusing. “I believe this should sway your concerns greatly?”

Zatren stared at the vial for a moment before relenting with a sigh. “Well, a contract is a contract, isn’t it?” He chuckled, offering a shrug and a relaxed smile.

Then, as if flipping a light switch. The devil’s playful expression flattened entirely, lips pressed into a thin line.

The next moment, a smell of ocean breeze filled my nostrils. At the same time, my wards registered a sudden rise in the ambient’s magic.

Apparently, even the intent of deploying such a technique made the environment become alive with energy.

I looked with great interest as the youngster took his hands out of his hoodie’s pockets. Placing them together, intertwining every finger except for the thumbs, which pointed diagonally upwards, making the final product seem like a V.

‘Here it is…’ Then, Zatren’s magic exploded outwards. As if the previous rise in magic was the warning previous to the dam breaking apart and releasing its contents.

“Domain Expansion…” Sweat dripped from Zatren’s brow, and the world stilled.

“...Mockery of the Drowned God.” A second passed, and then two. By the third, the entire world had seemingly vanished and had been replaced by a stormy ocean.

Thunder cracked in the sky. The waves roared with clear intent and fury. Yet, it wasn’t natural, I would call it artificial, but that would be an insult.

No, it was almost like… Zatren himself.

When he first explained it to me, I didn’t quite understand what he meant by “one’s inner domain”. But I get it now. These readings, these feelings…

It was like the expression of my student himself. His life, his feelings, his magic, and his personality. All blooming into a single image born out of desire and magic.

It was…

“Beautiful…” I felt something wet trail down my face. Flickering away the stray tear. I turned to my student, who was doing his best to stay still and not overexert himself.

Also, his nose was bleeding. “Are you alright, Mr Zatren?” With my curiosity sated, it just won’t do to have him hurt himself further.

“Peachy…” Zatren almost wheezed out. Arms trembling like leaves under the strong wind. Yet, that changed when the waters parted. “...Leviathan.”

I stood still, looking in curiosity as a handful of chains, constructs made out of water magic, wrapped hastily over my limbs.

I tested their strength, noticing that while quite robust, they could shatter with physical might alone. Much more so if I utilized Demonic Power.

“Interesting…” This must be that ‘sure-hit’ effect. A strike that always landed on the enemy. Certainly useful.

When I turned to the caster, I found my student’s expression caught in the middle between determined and manic, with blood dripping from his nose and into the waters below. “Ready or not, here I go...!” His words were interrupted by a gargantuan roar. The waves crashed, parted, and gave way to the beast inside the domain.

The draconic water serpent, which was the current headache of Devil’s Inner Affairs.

Immediately, the beast locked its glowing eyes onto me. And I raised a curious eyebrow. “This construct is also quite fascinating, but I feel it won’t be up for a check, would it?”

The Leviathan, for I personally believed the name was quite the perfect fit, charged with its maw open directly at me.

The shackles broke, torn to shreds in a mere blink as my Demonic Power surged to the surface.

I pointed an open palm at the raging beast as it grew close. Surprisingly, utilizing my formula was a bit harder than usual. Yet, space and law bent to my will all the same.

Hundreds of calculations, resolved in mere instants. I concentrated on the serpent’s very form and foundation… and found it lacking.

The laws of space bent, twisted, and broke under my gaze and command. With just a few inches of distance between us…

…The Leviathan exploded. Its body torn to shreds and brought back to nothing more than magical energy and raw, non-enhanced water, and I watched in curiosity as the sky itself cracked.

With the sound of shattering glass, the Domain ceased to be.

I dismissed the wards and turned a grateful gaze to my student, for this was quite the fruitful experience… only to see the young man keeling over and puking on the ground below.

‘Oh dear…’ It seems that I, once again, took things too far.

A good thing, then. That I have something to compensate for, even if this foolish student of mine would probably brush aside the thought of making up for such a slight.

‘Maybe I should also teach him about politics…?’ I wondered for a moment, before blanching and shaking my head. ‘…I’ll leave that to Serafall. Yes, that is the most reasonable choice of action.’

-X-x-X-

-Zatren Fumigami-

“Anyone got the plate number of… the dimensional bus that tore through space and decked me in the face?” I spat on the ground, cringing as the mix of blood and vomit hit my palate.

I knew for a fact that the Satans were strong. Ayuka and Sirzechs especially so, but damn!

My head felt like it was getting pierced by a bunch of tiny needles, and my eyes hurt like a bitch.

Also, I think there’s blood dripping down my eyes now….

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I gaze upwards. It just looks like a green, moving blur. And my body shakes with a new bout of nausea.

[Your Domain has been broken!]

[Hydrokinesis has entered the state of burnout!]

[Burnout: In some extreme cases, there are times in which you exert a Skill so much that your body cannot manage it properly for a time

Mastery and Control over Hydrokinesis have been greatly reduced for a time!]

[Debuff Duration: 00:00:59:47]

[Domain Expansion has Leveled Up!]

Softly yet firmly, I felt my hair get gripped and pulled backwards. Gazing into the blur that was the sky, I opened my mouth in protest, only for a cool liquid to be dropped inside of it.

It tasted like a strawberry but… spicy?

“Oh shit…” I blinked as my vision cleared immediately. The ache in my head disappeared, and I didn’t feel like dying anymore.

[HP and MP have been fully restored!]

Phenex Tears really are a damn cheat, huh. No random potion I found inside the Dungeons healed this much at once.

Yet, as miraculous as the healing seemed, the debuff on my Hydrokinesis did not go away, but the timer was reduced from an hour to just thirty minutes.

“Sorry about that, Mr Zatren.” The cool, yet apologetic voice of Ayuka hit my ears, and I turned my gaze. The lab coat-wearing woman had kneeled to my side, and was currently holding my face with one hand while checking over me. “No abnormalities… and your pupils seem focused, good.”

“Think you missed a spot. You should check again just in case…” I quipped playfully… only for the green-haired woman to frown and close the distance, actually taking my words seriously.

Hey, I was not going to shame the woman if she just wanted to be careful!

Of course, it wasn’t because I liked being held by a tall, glasses-wearing beauty. No sir.

“You appear to be fine.” With a sigh of relief, Ayuka helped me to my feet and clicked her fingers. In a moment, any dirt and dust that had clung to our clothes simply vanished. “I should have taken a few more precautionary measures. I apologize once more. However, the information you provided me was more than satisfactory.”

I gleamed under my teacher’s praise. “Hmm… say, Mr Zatren. Remember the gift I told you about?”

However, no matter how much I liked getting praised by the definition of crazy hot scientist mommy, the moment material objects were brought into the conversation, my smile turned into a grin, and my inner greed flared to the surface once more.

I should probably get it under control… but my shinies! My precious!

“Sure do, teach.” I shoved my hands back into my (now bloodied) hoodie. I tried to act casual and nonchalant about it. “What did you have in mind?”

I blinked as another magic circle appeared below our feet, and without further ado, we were whisked away.

As the light died down, I focused on our surroundings. The room appeared to be completely empty, except for a tall pillar with strange engravings right in the middle.

One thing’s for sure. Whoever is in charge of decoration in this place needs to get fired asap.

“Usually, one would need proper testing and more than one background check for this,” Ayuka started in a stern tone as she walked up to the tall pillar.

When she was barely a few steps away from it, one of the engravings flared to life. A sickly green fly. “But… I have a gut feeling I won’t regret such a decision. And believe me, dear student. I’m a woman of science and facts, not ‘hunches’...”

“Approach, Zatren Fumigami.” She finished, directing a flat stare at me.

‘Alright then…’ While I liked to play around. I was not dense enough not to notice the importance of Ayuka’s words. Whatever she planned to give me, it was not supposed to be done. Yet, for whatever reason, be it favoritism or something more, she was planning to do so anyway.

I took a breath to calm myself and stepped up to the pillar. I took one look at Satan, who gestured boredly to the pillar.

Taking the hint for what it was, I placed my hand on the cold, marble surface.

Suddenly, a massive amount of demonic power surged from the smooth statue. Then, I felt as if something was forcibly shoved into my body. Yet, before I could ask about it, a purple screen answered for Ayuka.

[Congratulations! You have (unofficially) become a King!]

[For being able to form your own Peerage, you got a Gacha Token!]

If it were able to, my jaw would have hit the floor in surprise.

My thoughts stilled for a moment, and I heard the sound of something small spinning through the air. The clink of something metallic hitting the floor greeted my ears…

…Before I snapped back to reality with a shudder and the sound of Ayuka’s voice.

“Hm, lucky you, Mr Zatren.” I turned to the absolute madwoman I called a teacher, who was holding a box which… I felt it was connected to my magic signature, but also hers? “I could count the number of Devils that had such luck in the past with a hand and have leftover fingers.”

With complete nonchalance of which I was used to from Ayuka at this point. The small black box was neatly placed into my hands.

It was already open, and its contents made me sputter in disbelief.

15 marble chess pieces. Only that, I knew for a fact that this was not actually marble, but Agreas Crystals.

Eight of the pieces were Pawns. Two of them were Rooks. And a single Queen. All of them the same dark blue-ish color.

Then, two sets of Knights and Bishops. Only that, while one Bishop and one Knight were exactly the same color as the rest of the chess pieces…

…The remaining Bishop and Knight were a deep purplish black.

Mutated pieces.

“Hm. It seems the time for our session had run out.” Ayuka muttered with a disappointed sigh. As if she hadn’t just dropped one of the most privileged and coveted things in devil-kind on my hands as a gift. “It seems I shall have to explain my reasons and a few warnings another time. But for now, I’ll see you later, student of mine. I’m afraid a meeting is waiting for me.”

“Wait—!” But before I could properly speak, Ayuka clicked her fingers once more. And in another flash of light, I was standing in my living room

…

No explanation, no reason given. Just giving me the literal option to form my own peerage like it was nothing.

I looked down at the box, and as if it were made of glass, I closed it down and shoved it into my inventory.

There was a singular thing that was clear in this entire sequence of events.

‘I’m going to marry that fucking woman.’ I decided without a hint of shame and absolute resolution.

Because HOLY— oww, fucking… Right. Devil shit.

UNHOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

-X-x-X-

-Sona Sitri-

“I have to thank you once more, Familiar Master. Your service is, as always, impeccable.” I thanked the oddly-dressed man with a respectful nod, even as he brushed away the thanks.

“Ah, don’t sweat it, younglin’.” The Familiar Master; Zatouji heartedly laughed, shocking the nearby fauna and making the smallest of animal-looking creatures to be scared away. “It’s always a pleasure to deal with you and the crimson laddie’! You lot always bring the most curious people!”

His dark eyes focused past me for a moment. In which I turned to see most of my peerage staring back. All of them in a formerly fashion with neutral faces, except…

“Hey, hey. Doesn’t this old man look a lot like that one guy from Pokémon? He has the cap and everything!” Ruruko whispered. Side by side with Zatren and trying to contain her chuckles.

My Rook, of course, fared no better in manners than his equally new ally. “Nah. You’re onto something. He even said “Gotta’ Tame ‘Em All!” When presenting himself like some sort of rip-off version…”

Both teenagers chuckled at their own remarks. And I did not know if they were unaware that they were being heard, or just talking smack for the sake of it.

It did not help that, when I turned to the rest with an unamused expression, Tsubasa, Momo, and Tsumaki were trying to hold in their laughter.

“Pff…” Some were doing better than others.

After giving a huff to my Queen’s reaction. I turned with an apologetic smile to the equally amused man. “I apologize, Familiar Master… They are new, you see.”

The man rumbled with a full-body laugh before once more shrugging off my words. “No need, no need! A bit of humor here and there is always good… Besides, not like ‘am growing any younger here, HAHAHA!” And with that said, the man bent over slightly to slap his knees.

I sighed as a few more chuckles joined in the fun. ‘Why couldn’t they pretend to be serious, at least…’ Was I cursed? Maybe I was.

“In any case.” The Familiar Master’s expression turned solemn as he puffed up his chest. As if that would give him back the seriousness that befitted his position. “For those who already got their familiar, this forest may be a walk in the park. But, in any case, let me guide you through the steps either way.” He gave a sagely nod, to which I relented and shook the man’s hand.

“Very well… It shouldn’t be hard to find something for these two.” I explained. Though I almost immediately frowned. “Actually. Zatren here, the black-haired male, has some experience with taming familiars himself. So, he may request some… unreasonable things.”

Because I very well knew that there was one particular species of dragon living in this forest, Hydras. Beasts with three heads at the minimum, and nine at their prime, whose regenerative capabilities could compare or even surpass those of the Phenex, and with a deadly poison that even I could get worried about.

That, and their control over multiple advanced elements, could prove to be a troublesome, if not an outright death sentence, for those unprepared.

So much so, in fact. That one of the Dragon Kings sealed away in a Sacred Gear was a Hydra himself.

“Ah, I don’t think that would be a problem, missy.” I raised an eyebrow at the man’s confident voice and happy expression.

“How so?” Because I knew for a fact that Zatren would—

“The boy left a bit ago. When you were apologizing, in fact.”

“HE WHAT?!” I immediately turned around. And sure enough, where the man was standing side by side with Ruruko, there was no one. “How?!”

I didn’t even feel him leave! Just where did this trouble magnet of a man go?!

Turning to my peerage, I stared them down. Getting nonchalant expressions and shrugs… Except for Tsubaki, who was munching on a pastry while holding a tray of them in her hand.

I could just feel my hair turning grey.

“Tsubaki… what’s that?” The girl stopped chewing, slowly. Before giving a nervous smile.

Then, with lips covered in crumbs, and without a hint of shame, she replied. “...A bribe?”

“You let yourself be bribed with—… Never mind.”

With a sigh, I turned my gaze to the rest of the group. My eyes landed on Momo with an unimpressed stare.

The girl was more than happy to give a bright smile back. “He promised to help me with barrier crafting.” And had even less shame than my Queen.

Next, Tsubasa. The boyish, blue-haired girl gave a few chuckles while scratching her head. “Well, I just really wanted to try a spar. Rook to Rook, you know?”

A headache started to form on the back of my head. Crossing my arms and giving my other Bishop, Reya, who at least offered an apologetic expression while twiddling her thumbs.

“Sorry… It’s just. He’s always so helpful around school… I wanted to repay the favor.” Ah, so she got taken advantage of and coerced into silence.

Already resigned, I glanced at Tomoe. Who was far less apologetic, and had a rare serious expression with a hand locked in a salute above her head. “As a Knight of the Sitri, I had pledged loyalty to my comrades. For without honor, I am nothing!” Heartwarming. If it wasn’t for the way her lips twitched upwards and her shoulder shook.

“...Ruruko?” I had absolutely zero hopes right now. And the brown-haired, hyper-active girl offered a big smile and a thumbs-up.

“I was not bribed at all! I just thought it would be funny!” Was it too late to give her back? “But… He did go northwest from here, wherever that is!”

Finally! Someone who was actually trying not to send me to an early grave. I may have underestimated the once delinquent.

Offering a small nod, I turned to the Familiar Master, who, up until this point, was watching in great amusement at my plight.

“Northwest, eh?” He hummed, scratching his non-existent beard. “Yeah… that has to be Hydra territory.”

…

Just like that. I felt my lifespan get cut in half. I also felt like I was popping a vein. So much so that the Familiar Master took a few steps backward while a bead of sweat fell through his brow.

“I’m going to put a damn leash on that man!” I just couldn’t hold my composure anymore. Zatren was just that infuriating.

“Kinky.” My head snapped to my Queen, who gave a teasing smile. “Also, it depends, but he may enjoy that.”

GHA! THERE’S JUST NO WINNING WITH THESE PEOPLE!

“I need a vacation…” I sulked to myself. Already giving up and deciding to let the man deal with his own problems.

…

Surely, he won’t just stupidly wander into Hydra Territory without a plan, right?

…Right?

-X-x-X-

-Zatren Fumigami-

“FuckfuckFUCK!” I dodged to the side, jumping through the bushes to dodge a blast of concentrated lightning.

The source? None other than a sleek black, scaly, and furious head of a five-headed Hydra.

The beast was imposing as it was tall. Walking on four robust legs with completely black scales. Each one carrying the massive weight of the house-sized beast. Then, once you reach the place where the neck should be? There were five of those. Each one guiding into a different, triangle-shaped head and eyes full of fury.

“How was I supposed to know it was mating season?!” I screamed while putting up a barrier as a blast of scorching flames threatened to turn me into roasted salmon. “...And of course it has fire.”

Spitting the word like it was a slur aside.

The reason for my current predicament? I was trying to lay eyes on a Hydra myself. So, while the Familiar Master was speaking, I just felt around for the most concentrated amount of Magic within a close radius and went straight to it.

What I didn’t expect to find was a big mother Hydra, inside a dark cave, curled up around her eggs.

I was going to just leave, but…

I have the Dragon Slayer perk. Which my dumbass absolutely forgot about.

So, imagine a mother dragon who weights a minimum of “a FUCK-TON”, with five heads that shoot elemental lasers (and poison), who just gave birth to her future children… Literally seeing a walking red sign that says “DRAGON MURDERER BY THE WAY!” in the form of a walking, living being.

As my barrier started to crack under the constant and unrelenting blasts of the Mother Hydra, I clicked my tongue and focused on my Hydrokinesis.

A good thing about my progress with the magical arts was that I could practically make spells on the fly.

“Unwavering. Restrain. Confine…” I muttered just as the barrier broke. I jumped high in the air to avoid the powerful breath attack. Yet, just as the five heads of the angry mother could try and shoot me down from the sky, I shouted. “Chained Prison!”

The Hydra gave a roar of surprise, as solid chains made of water materialized out of nowhere. Tying into the necks of her many heads, and chaining her legs and tail to the ground.

I only looked at the struggling Hydra for a few moments before opening my wings mid-fall…

…and flying the fuck away from here!

There was no chance I was harming this thing. Not because I couldn’t, but because I was sure to get in big problems if I harmed the equivalent of an animal in a natural reservoir. The fact that the mother was just trying to protect her young was another big incentive.

So, with the roaring Hydra left behind, I got to looking around once more. “I should probably stay away from dragons, too.”

The moment I landed on solid ground and took a look around, I let a sigh of relief since it didn’t seem like the Hydra was keeping up.

“Right… that was a shitshow. Guess that’s no dragon for me.” My shoulders slouched as I pouted at the surrounding vegetation. “...but dragons are cool, though.”

“”DDRAIG!”” The entire forest shook, weaker familiars either running away or outright fainting, as a roar of pure indignation slammed into my eardrums.

“...Murphy. I’m going to find your remains and shove them into my spear. I call bull-” One moment, I was complaining to a long-dead man, the other, the feeling of a semi-truck slamming against my chest and cracking multiple somethings.

I lost all and any air that resided in my lungs, and for the cherry on top, my back felt on fire as it hit and felled multiple trees, all the way until I hit the ground… and started caving a small trench with my body until I came to a full stop inside a clearing. Bruised, with broken bones, and half-conscious.

Consequence of my body getting rag-dolled at terminal velocities. “...shhhiit…”

“You’re shit our of luck, boy.” A rough, male voice said in my head. But it sounded… tired? That, and incredibly amused.

Ah, Ddraig. The lazy snake awakens.

“You don’t—Cough—say… you lazy fuck…” I groaned and immediately put my body through the full ‘regeneration cycle’.

Which consisted of pumping Healing Magic until all the pain went away, switching into a red spear with a bubble design that I unlocked with a minor healing potion, and only when I could feel my torso once more did I pull a water bottle, crushed it in my hands, and chugged the dripping content. “...Better.”

Just in time, too. Because when I finally got to my feet, my magic sense started tweaking.

The reason being, the outright stupid amount of magic and crushing aura of power centered in a single being. Which was slowly but surely making its way to me, practically tearing through the high trees in the process.

“...I just wanted a fucking pet dragon man.” I lamented and pulled the Red Dragon Emperor’s Spear.

Which proved to be a mistake. Because the moment I did, another angry bellow echoed through the forest. This one being much angrier and powerful than the previous one. So much so that it shook its entire surroundings with a small earthquake.

Because fuck me, I guess.

“Fuck it. With this treasure…” Boosted Gear: Wheel barely managed to manifest itself on top of my head before every sense in my body screamed to dodge.

Shadow Step-ping out of the way, my eyes widen as the air whistled and the spot I was just standing on gets completely annihilated by a purple beam of pure, concentrated power.

If that had hit me… I was a goner. No regen, no adaptation, no System-enhanced body could have saved me from that.

“Lacerate!” I shouted the moment I caught sight of a tree being thrown my way. The entire log got torn asunder and transformed into small cubes of raw wood via hundreds of micro water blades, leaving a small mist of brown sawdust and a bunch of unmoving water.

“[Combustion Burst III]!” Which I blasted with a Hero Skill. Creating a huge cloud of vapor in the entire small clearing.

“You can’t hide from me, you thief!” The enraged, female voice screeched. And I, indeed, couldn’t. Because the small window of invisibility got thrown off the window as a gust of wind slammed against my body and the entire clearing.

I gritted my teeth, having to slam the tip of my spear on the ground to not get blown away. And trust me when I say that the metallic click of the first adaptation, along with the wind-drowned “Boost!” Did not comfort me at all!

With the clouds of mist getting dissipated, the form of my attacker was clearly seen. A woman with long and luscious pale blue hair. She had a deep blue dress that could barely contain the size of her chest, and it ended up in a navy blue bottom part that ended at her mid-thigh and was open to the sides, leaving part of her waist exposed.

Yeah, she was drop-dead gorgeous, with deep ocean eyes and a surprisingly impassive expression which gave her the entire “cold beauty” archetype.

THAT WAS, IF SHE WASN’T CURRENTLY FLINGING BURST AFTER BURST OF MAGIC TO ATOMIZE ME ENTIRELY WHILE GLARING DAGGERS AT ME!

‘Ddraig, who is this crazy bitch?!’ I complained mentally. Because, of course, my Observe gave me nothing but absolute gibberish.

‘That would be Tiamat.’ He replied helpfully.

“Thunderbolt!” I desperately called as a rainstorm of lightning slammed into the woman, who didn’t even raise her guard. Only narrowed her eyes into a slight frown. ‘And why the fuck is she screaming bloody murder at me?!’

‘I… may have asked for practically all of her treasures for my fight with the White One…’ The suddenly apologetic lizard provided, with a yawn. ‘...And lost all of her things.’

…

‘I am going to make you into a damn purse— FUCK!’

The smell of ozone hit my nose as I kept raining lightning upon her. Yet, as if they were mere sparks, Tiamat just went through and speed-blitzed me with nary an effort.

The next part was my mistake. Thinking I could guard the blow with my full-powered Reinforcement and the strongest barrier I could cast.

The winged woman’s eyes stared at my strongest defense, and scoffed at it. Before using only her arm to tear through the yellow barrier as if it were wet paper, before her fist rammed itself into my raised arms.

The crack that followed, along with the scream of pain as my bones got shattered, was… infuriating. “You crazy, bubblegum-colored bitch!” Incredibly infuriating.

For my very mindful words, I got a hand clamped around my throat, even as the wheel on top of my head made another spin, in which my regeneration got an upgrade, signaled by my broken arms starting to slowly mend themselves into proper shape.

“Finally got you, you irresponsible lizard…” Tiamat’s voice whispered against my ear in an all too pleased tone. Hot, if it wasn’t because I wasn’t really into her whole ‘trying to kill you’ kink play.

“I’m… not… Ddraig… you psycho…!” I managed to rasp out through my compressed air-pipe. Only getting a roll of the eyes from the dragon lady. “Not… his host… either!”

That seemed to give the woman pause. Her deep blue orbs eyeing me carefully. From the spear on my hand to the wheel on top of my head. Before landing on my non-dominant hand. Once all was checked, her grip slackened just slightly.

“Oh.” She replied smartly. ‘Oh,’ indeed, lady! “But then, how… wait a minute.”

Tiamat’s gaze turned from cold to incredibly amused. Even her lips, which were previously pressed into a thin line, widened in joy.

“Devil brat.” She addressed me, looking me in the eye with a toothy, feral grin. As if I just brought her favorite food. “Did you, perchance… steal this Sacred Gear?”

I paused. Letting some oxygen flow into my brain now that I didn’t have the dragoness' hand choking me to death.

Did I steal the Boosted Gear? Well, technically yes, but not really? Unless you consider tearing it apart and shoving part of it inside my soul ‘stealing.’

Yet, I had a very big, very powerful, and very unbeatable reason in front of my eyes to say yes.

‘Please don’t…’ Ddraig complained inside my head. And I made my choice immediately.

“Yes,” I admitted with a flat tone. Watching as her grin got wider, and her eyes filled with joy. “Not only that. But I stole it from another thief that had already stolen it from its righteous host's body.”

‘I’m sorry, Ddraig. But I like my neck uncrushed and my body in a single piece. Not to mention, my soul being inside my body and not sent to, I don’t know, Izanami, maybe.’

Don’t complain too much, since all you do is nap all day inside there, you bum.

“HAHAHAHA!” The once completely serious and murderous woman gave a full-bellied laugh. In the same moment, she released my throat entirely and instead hugged my body close. Shoving my face into her big fucking breasts. “Oh, you little rascal! You just don’t know how that brightened up my day! This joy can last me a century at the least!”

…My life was so fucking weird man.

On the positive side. Boobs!

Yeah, you can’t say shit to me for this. That is a seriously impressive rack. And it rocked back and forth as Tiamat laughed, practically choking me with the damn things.

…Know what. Life was not so bad.

‘’Now…’’ Once the blue-haired woman stopped laughing (even cleaning a tear from her eye), she stared deeply into my eyes with a smidge of her previous seriousness. ‘’Since you appear to be a capable thief… Do you take commissions?’

[A long-term Quest has been issued!]

[Quest: A Dragoness’ Hoard]

[Long ago in the past, the Heavenly Dragon Ddraig asked for the Dragon King Tiamat’s incredibly powerful treasures. Of course, at the time, Ddraig was a powerful and trusted ally of the Mother of Monsters.

Only for him to go on, die while fighting Albion, and lose all of her treasures, which got practically shared all over the world by the factions involved in the slaying of the two Heavenly Dragons after their sealing.

Even today, Tiamat keeps searching for her treasures. And, if you help her, great things may come out of it.]

Objective I:

[Recover at least 5 of Tiamat's wealthy treasures (0/5)]

Objective II:

[Recover the Cup of Wisdom]

[Recover the Amulet of Death]

[Recover the Nail of Reality]

Bonus Objective:

[Steal Annihilation Maker]

Reward I:

[Ten Gacha Tokens] [Hired Thief (Title)] [Tiamat’s favor]

Reward II:

[Twenty Gacha Tokens] [Mythical Blacksmith (Skill Upgrade)] [Tiamat’s adoration]

Bonus Reward:

[Plunder (Skill)] [Hermes’ Thief (Title)] [Tiamat’s ???]

‘I take it back! Izanami, take my soul right now! Tear this fucking dragon out of it!’ An amused sound of refined, echoing laughter filled my ears before vanishing entirely.

What the fuck?