Fractures of Eternity

After starting to help Gerta, it wasn’t long until Zoe and Emma rushed to the dining room to find me. I had never left when they were asleep since we got there. So, they were concerned about me while I assured them I was fine. These two girls had also crept into my heart in ways I never thought possible.

From annoyance, they became allies that I could rely on.

Well, to a certain point.

Once we finished breakfast, we once again prepared for the day. This time, Emma got coffee for Oswald—a trick I told her to do. I watched her grumbling under her breath about how he was so picky about what he drank and how it had to be perfect or else he wouldn’t drink it.

If he only knew you stayed an entire night up practicing it—such a lucky warlock.

Zoe, on the other hand, watched us while I prepared the tea for Loki. The vampire wasn’t as picky about flavoring as Oz. Even though I had done this already more than a dozen times, my nerves each day got worse.

Standing outside the crown prince’s room, I tried to steady my heart. Yesterday’s events were still vivid in my mind as I had come to wake him up like usual when he yanked me into bed before I could open the curtains.

“Vivi… not yet.” He mumbled in such a low tone that it silenced me.

Why… are you holding me so tenderly? I can’t…

He held me captive there for a while, and the entire time, I felt like I wanted to melt. Luckily, Eli helped me out of it since the silly vampire had fallen asleep on me. It was torture to be surrounded by his scent and warmth in such a way that was never meant to be for me.

This time, though, I would be ready for it if it happened. I had to open the curtain without getting too close to the bed. Opening the door, I placed down the tray to hear mumbling from the sleeping danger.

I need to go into the hazard zone, without becoming a pillow!

Closing the door, I went to open the curtains successfully to see something that made my heart throb. Loki lay in the bed with his arms wide open, glancing at me. Surprisingly, he was already awake, and his expression was so gentle that I could barely move from where I was.

Gerta, if you only knew how unfair he is.

“Vivi… I woke up from hearing your footsteps. They’re so light.” He smiled gently.

I tried to remain strong while those blue, purplish eyes gazed at me.

You always play dirty!

It almost broke me again. Somehow, I managed to stay in one piece today, thanks to Gerta’s talk.

“Well, you can stay in bed, if you’re awake since it’s your day off,” I informed, unable to help a smirk rise on my lips.

Loki’s eyes twitched when I said that. “Hah? Then why did you wake me up?” he growled, sitting up.

Pay back, but I can’t say that, can I?

I made my way towards the tray by the table, “Because it’s healthier for you to wake up at the same time every day than to sleep in one day.

Before I could reach the table, he suddenly pulled me from behind, and my feet were soon in the air.

Oh… Crap! I screwed up!

Even if it was hard for my heart, I should’ve kept my eyes on him. In a second, I found myself on his lap as his breath hit my dress’s collar from behind.

You play too dirty!

Using one arm to hold my hips, he cleared my hair to one of my ears with his other hand as his finger traced down my neck soon after. It was too warm.

“Why don’t you come to bed with me? Like yesterday? Hm?” Loki hummed teasingly.

This vampire is an incubus in disguise!

I tried to hold myself together, yet it was hard to do. His touch, even two weeks later, made me want to lose myself in it.

If I were a normal girl, I would’ve grabbed you by your shirt and forced you to be mine, but I can’t allow myself to fall into that delusion!

He was playing, and it made my heart skip a beat. Though it was all of this my fault, I did take his first kiss, and he didn’t know I wanted to take much more.

Endure…

“Huh? You plan to suffocate me today, too?” I mumbled, trying not to give in to the warmth that wanted to consume me.

Argh… I know you’re just trying to get a reaction from me. Payback’s a bitch.

“Suffocate you?” Loki asked in a low, husky voice, still holding me in place.

He wasn’t going to let go, and the little snake was nowhere to be found either. Without a doubt, he was under the bed since it was cooler there with the summer heat greeting us, even though we were in Night City.

“Yes! If it weren’t for Eli, you would’ve kept me under you all day yesterday, and you would’ve been late to your sparring!” I huffed, prompting him to chuckle.

If his familiar hadn’t lifted him off me, I would’ve passed out because of the embarrassment.

Why does your voice have to be so pleasing to my ears, too? Oz, why haven’t you come out yet!?

I gazed at the door that held the other twin with hopeful eyes, knowing Emma and Zoe must’ve woken him up already. However, it wasn’t long until my attention was again on my captor.

“Ah… I did that without realizing it. You just smell so good and are cuddly, sweetheart. Though I like you more when you don’t drink that rose tea.” Loki cooed, as I felt a smirk form against my ear. “There’s so much more we can do on my day off.”

A sharp squeal left my mouth when his free hand tugged on the tie that held the dress together again. The moment it came undone, I felt my heart snap.

“Loki, stop!” I yelped, my voice was pitching high.

He chuckled, resting his head on my shoulder before hugging me tightly against him.

“You’re one of a kind,” the playful vampire mumbled, shaking his head.

Oi! You’re going to kill me with a heart attack!

“Stop testing me! I’ll hit you one day because of it!” I growled, puffing my cheeks.

He lowered my dress collar, triggering me to freeze.

Wait…

“Hah, if you’re willing to abuse me so much, maybe I should just bite you,” Loki breathed, moving my hair out of the way.

In an instant, my heart was in my throat as my voice struggled to come out.

Any moment, Oz. Please!

“L-Loki! I’m seriously going to smack you!” My voice trembled as I couldn’t help but shiver when his breath hit my skin.

“Hm? How will you hit me even though I’m faster than you in every way? It won’t be like that girl you kicked on the floor a few weeks ago.” Loki brushed his lips against my neck, causing me to freeze.

However, the moment I felt his tongue lap my skin, I flew out of his grip. I didn’t know how I did it, but in an instant, I was up and away from his grip. He probably let me go, which made me realize he had no intention of keeping me there for longer than I could tolerate.

“I don’t—” I squeaked, trying to turn towards him to keep my eyes on the devilish vampire, but before I could, a misstep sent me tumbling.

Loki stopped me mid-way before I hit something that would have left a mark. However, I did cause some things to fall onto the floor from the cabinet that almost cracked my skull open if he hadn’t caught me.

“Oi, Vivi, you’re going to hurt yourself,” He sighed, making my eyes twitch as I couldn’t help but glare at him.

This vampire is going to be the end of me for sure. Yep, I won’t make it back to the coven in one piece.

“Perhaps if you didn’t tease me every day! I wouldn’t have accidents!” I snapped at him, prompting him to chuckle.

Unable to take it, I pulled away from him before slowly picking up the items that had fallen. Within them was a framed picture, which I plucked from the floor before turning it over. The moment my eyes landed on it, my heart dropped, realizing who they were.

Ah… this is… Vera and Leonard.

Loki’s mother was the girl with silver hair, fair skin, purple eyes, and was heavily pregnant. She wore a beautiful two-piece bathing suit while Leonard was the man next to her. They appeared to be on a popular beach, in Azear, the water elf nation, which was easily identified by the pink sand.

Noticing me staring at the picture, Loki stepped closer towards me.

“Oh, that’s my birth mother and father. I don’t have any memories of them, though.” He shrugged.

Ah… It’s my fault you don’t know them.

I shook my head, tracing my fingers on the frame as I felt a pang in my chest.

Damn it… What’s this feeling? If I didn’t exist… you’d be…

These people were happy before my mother got into their lives.

And they say I’m prettier than anyone else, but that’s a lie. I’m nothing compared to Vera. Just look how happy she is in this picture. A happiness, I ripped apart because…

The radiance and love from her eyes beat mine in every way possible.

I’m empty inside and unloved. Even so, I still want to live. I know it’s selfish of me, but I… want to.

“Vera, the most powerful witch that ever lived, and Leonard, the most talented vampire to ever live. Both died going against the eternal witch Edna, or so they say.” I whispered, attempting to hide what I was feeling.

Is this because of my affection for Loki?

Before this moment, I didn’t care about how their lives ended, but seeing how they were supposed to be important to this vampire made me feel like perhaps I should’ve been destroyed instead.

Someone like you deserves to have them in your life. I’m sorry you never will. Instead, you get me, a broken goddess who needs you to stay free.

“So, you know that too?” Loki asked, grabbing me once again by my hip and placing his chin on my shoulder.

“Yeah, my father likes history,” I sighed, my first complete lie since I got there.

It didn’t feel enjoyable when it rolled off my tongue, as I usually didn’t lie so straightforwardly. Thankfully, this is what I needed to catch myself after his endless teasing.

“I see. Your Dad seems like a smart man.” He chuckled.

I shook my head slightly.

Clever, cunning, and darkly evil beings are what we always will be. If you only knew how many people I’ve killed in this life, you wouldn’t hold me like you do.

Lilith had desensitized me from worrying about taking lives, and all of my murders were attributed to her, which she didn’t mind. My hands were stained red, and I had never felt them so heavy before.

“Hm… Perhaps.” I mumbled, gazing at the picture, unable to shake the guilt that was swelling within me.

How many fathers and mothers have I killed? I don’t know how many people’s lives I have broken, and I didn’t care until now. Loki… I’m a monster. I can’t be who you wish me to be, and I can’t forget that.