Fractures of Eternity

Gerta paused, shaking her head as my core burned hotter with each word that left her lips.

“Rem almost killed Asher when she found out about Oz. It took everything to convince her that it wouldn’t happen again, while the poor boy was crushed. The girl played with his heart to the point that he thought he loved her.” She continued, leaving me clenching onto my dress, trying to suppress the anger swelling within me.

“He was only fourteen and didn’t know what love was, while the woman who was supposed to teach him was twenty-five. A disgusting piece of shit if you ask me. I would’ve strangled her myself if she hadn’t run for it after Asher was done with her.” She scoffed.

Ah… If I ever find out who that woman is and where she is, I’ll sear her alive, to make sure she will never walk in daylight again!

What I felt must’ve been expressed in my face since Gerta smirked.

“It seems you care for the boys. That’s good.” She suddenly announced, prompting me to bite my lip.

I had played right into her hand, without even noticing it.

“Hah… Anyone would be disgusted to hear that.” I mumbled, snapping out of my murderous train of thought.

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t pretend not to care for them on a personal level.” Gerta snickered.

For a moment, I thought we were having a touching moment, which brought my guard down. These people knew how to play individuals to their tune, and I fell into her lap.

“Well, it’s obvious I do. They’ve been nothing but kind to me recently. So, yes, I care for them, Gerta, but not in a sexual way. Even if I did, I wouldn’t allow it to happen, unless I was out of my mind.” I confessed, shrugging.

The boys were becoming a greater existence than I first thought they would be. Two weeks in, and I was already caring for them in ways I never thought.

Especially Loki… The way you touch me. No, that’s my guilty pleasure alone.

That vampire stirred me up enough to be aware I had fallen for the tricky vampire—something I would never admit to him.

Yes, this affection is for me alone.

“Hm… I don’t know about that. I’ve seen the way you look at Loki.” Gerta suddenly pointed out, as I again almost choked on the tea that I was sipping on, prompting her to break out in laughter.

My mask once again was gone in a split second. I coughed, trying to find my breath.

“W-what?!” I stuttered.

Impossible?! It can’t be that obvious! I…

I quickly lost my voice when she continued to laugh whole heartily.

“Oh ho, am I right? Look at that, I never knew you could make that expression!” She gushed.

What expression?! It can’t be!

I touched my face, unsure of how to answer her anymore.

Have I been looking at Loki differently than I do with others? Why? I… thought I was hiding it so well.

“N-No, I-I would never do anything.” I fumbled, attempting to hold onto my divinity, which she quickly broke with her continuous cackling.

“So, you aren’t going to continue to deny it?” Gerta raised her eyebrows, placing her hands on her hips.

Lately, anything would crack my mask, even though I did try to hide it. Though it seemed anything involving Loki was the weak point.

Damn it heart, you freaking traitor! Stop beating so loudly! Stop making my stomach feel like it has butterflies flying in it!

Dad or Lilith never warned me of this emotion, and even if they had, I was helpless against it.

“I-I—” I cleared my throat and faced the old maid straight on.

There was no denying it, after my reaction to her words.

“Okay, I won’t lie. I fancy the troublesome flirt of a prince. He won’t stay away as I wanted. It’s annoying how he doesn’t stop making my heart flutter, but... I couldn’t help but feel this way. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt like this.” My voice almost felt like it wasn’t my own.

I never thought I would put these words out, leaving me feeling utterly vulnerable.

Ah… I’m screwed.

“The more time I spend with Loki, the more wonderful he becomes, but that’s where this stops. I can’t allow this to blossom into something else because we are from two different worlds.” I confessed, feeling like my cheeks were about to fall off.

I can never drag someone as bright as you are into this darkness that surrounds me. Yes… That’s why once I protect you, I’m going to leave, and you’ll go back to your everyday life before you even met me.

Gerta stood up as I thought she would chase me away or scold me harshly, but instead trailed her hand down my hair, causing me to gaze up at her. Her expression was so gentle.

“Honey, you can fancy him all you like as long as you know your worlds are far from each other. You remind me of my younger self. I used to love King Asher before he got married to Queen Andrea.” The old woman declared with a tone of sadness in her voice.

Oh… No, you still love him.

She was unmarried and had worked there all her life. It was like she devoted her entire life to Asher, who never responded to her. Even though their relationship never came to be, she did manage to raise his son, Leonard, and his grandsons.

“I see. So, is it normal?” I asked, feeling like Gerta could help guide me through the mess that my heart was becoming.

She snickered before lowering herself again onto the chair, crossing her arms. “Is it normal to fall for the ones we work under? Nah, we’re just masochistic beings, Vivian.”

Oi! That isn’t helpful at all, and I don’t like pain.

My lips twitched as she chuckled in response to my unhappy expression before she closed her eyes.

“Your feelings will probably end up like mine, anyway. Forgotten in the wind long before you realize it.” She added, opening her eyes before gazing towards the windows.

There, her expression softened.

Hey… Why do you seem regretful? Am I also going to be that way? No… It will probably be worse because Loki will hate me once he knows who I am. I won’t be able to stay by his side when that happens.

A pang rose in my chest as I couldn’t help but bite my lip before releasing a sigh. “Don’t worry, madam, I’m not going to show my emotions towards anyone here. More than anyone else, I know I’m unfit for the prince.”

Gerta glanced back at me with melancholy in her eyes before shaking her head. “I see no problem with you or your feelings, dear. I can also assure you that you won’t do anything to harm the princes. They are too much for you to handle, but I do fear what will happen to your heart.”

I stood up from the chair, bowing to her respectfully. “Thank you for sharing this with me. My heart is a lot tougher than it seems. I’ll accomplish what I came here to do before I go on to live my life outside of this castle.”

This old woman had enlightened me on many things, especially Oz’s past, which I would have to discuss with the girls later. Perhaps it would cause Emma to loosen up on torturing the poor warlock.

After all, you…

I expected her to remain silent, but she placed her hand on my head before softly petting me.

Ah… This is…

Gerta didn’t know who I was, but in her eyes, I could tell I was a simple girl.

“So soft.” She played with my hair a bit before pulling away.

At that moment, I straightened up to face the elderly woman, as the height difference didn’t change how I saw her. Loyal and kind was all she was, as well as cunning. Her age made her wiser than most, which was something I could respect.

“I’m still going to watch you, dear. I must know how you managed to tame those twins. Tell me all your secrets.” The old maid snickered as I couldn’t help but smile at her.

Nothing had gone wrong when I showed some of my emotions to the boys.

So, why will it be any different with you?

Either way, it wasn’t like I was going to do anything to her.

“I don’t think I did anything out of this world, though,” I assured her as she reached out to touch my cheek.

I wonder if this is how it feels to have a mother—a thing I will never have.

“Hm, I think it was that smile. It’s beautiful. No, your entire being is beautiful, Vivian. I hope you find a good husband who cherishes each one of the steps you take one day.” Gerta noted, letting me go, and going towards the tables.

Ah… What did you just say? Is that something possible for me?

I stood there for a minute, trying to analyze what she said. People usually called me beautiful, but this woman had called my soul that.

Ah… You know… nothing.

Turning towards her, my heart stung as I watched her begin to set things up for everyone else.

Hey… If you knew what I was, would you still say the same? Doubtful...

Biting my lip, my eyes slumped onto the floor as I clenched my hands into fists tightly.

If only I were a normal girl. If only I could be loved like a normal person. Perhaps then this world would be a more vibrant place.

The bliss was making me forget why I had come there.

This isn’t okay at all. A being like me can’t forget, or else I’ll bring ruin to everything the twins loved.

This happiness was fake. It had to be. None of it was real.

Even so... I...

“There isn’t anything about me that’s beautiful,” I mumbled to myself before going to join Gerta in her work.