The Laziest God Mortal Reincarnation

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was white canvas.

For several seconds, I simply stared at it.

Then I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

A familiar smell entered my nose.

Medicine.

Clean cloth.

Dried herbs.

And something else.

My pillow.

My head sank slightly deeper into it.

Good.

At least someone had understood the most important part of emergency medical treatment.

I remained there without moving.

My body felt heavy.

Not injured.

Not exactly.

Just... tired.

More tired than I remembered being before closing my eyes.

Then everything returned.

The forest.

Garron.

Father.

Valerian.

And.

My chest tightened.

I immediately stopped that thought.

No.

Not yet.

I turned my head toward the side of the bed.

A small wooden table had been placed beside me with a glass of water and several potions resting on it.

My cloak had been removed.

My boots too.

Someone had even cleaned the blood from my hands.

I stared at them.

Clean.

Completely clean.

But for some reason, I could still feel it.

Warm.

Sticky.

I slowly curled my fingers.

Then opened them again.

Several hours.

That was probably how long I had been asleep.

Which was impressive considering I couldn’t remember deciding to sleep.

After everything with Master...

After crying until my chest hurt and my eyes burned...

I must have simply stopped functioning.

Apparently, my body had finally discovered the emergency solution I had been recommending for years.

Sleep.

I approved.

Usually, I woke from sleep feeling better.

That was the entire reason I liked it.

Sleep made problems quieter.

It separated yesterday from today.

It gave the mind somewhere else to disappear for a while.

This time...

The problem was still there.

But it was quieter.

Not gone.

I doubted it would ever completely disappear.

Just quieter.

I pushed myself upright.

My pillow remained against my back.

For a while, I said nothing.

The tent was empty.

Outside, I could hear soldiers moving through the camp.

Boots against dirt.

Quiet conversations.

Metal being carried.

The ordinary sounds of the border.

Everything continued.

That felt strange.

Three people had died.

And somehow the world was still moving.

I had always known that was how death worked.

One person stopped.

Everyone else continued.

Simple.

Logical.

Cruel.

My gaze dropped toward my hands again.

They died protecting me.

That thought didn’t crush me the same way it had before sleeping.

But it still hurt.

Caelum had even told me exactly what he intended to do before we left.

’While you travel with us, Al, I will place your safety before my own.’

And what had I told him?

’Don’t die protecting me.’

I almost laughed.

Almost.

Apparently, neither of us had been particularly good at keeping promises.

I leaned my head back against the pillow.

Vessa.

Caelum.

Nyra.

Three people.

Three weeks.

Three lives exchanged so that I could return here.

My fingers tightened around the blanket.

No.

I didn’t like that.

Not the grief.

That part wasn’t something I could negotiate with.

I didn’t like the idea of someone deciding their life was worth less than mine.

Because I was a Duke’s son.

Because I had SSS potential.

Because I was an Aegis Healer.

Because I carried something no one else knew about.

None of it mattered.

A life was still a life.

And I had already learned what happened when one disappeared.

I stared toward the entrance of the tent.

Then quietly made a decision.

I wouldn’t allow it again.

No one would die protecting me.

I paused.

Then frowned.

That sounded dramatic.

Suspiciously dramatic.

The type of statement people made immediately before developing heroic tendencies and sleeping four hours a night.

Absolutely not.

I corrected myself.

I wouldn’t unnecessarily allow anyone to die protecting me.

Much better.

Reasonable.

Realistic.

Most importantly, compatible with eight hours of sleep.

I wasn’t suddenly going to start running toward every sword pointed at someone else.

That sounded exhausting.

And stupid.

Probably mostly stupid.

But if people were going to stand beside me...

Then I needed to become strong enough that standing beside me didn’t mean dying for me.

That was different.

I was a healer.

An Aegis Healer.

My entire title revolved around keeping people alive.

Healing them.

Protecting them.

Apparently, I had spent years thinking of those things as abilities.

Useful tools.

Ways to complete quests.

Ways to survive battles.

Maybe that was the problem.

Protection wasn’t supposed to mean hiding behind someone stronger.

At least...

Not permanently.

I looked at my hands again.

Next time someone stepped between me and death...

I wanted enough power to step beside them.

Preferably from a safe distance.

Behind several barriers.

With enough mana remaining to retreat if necessary.

I wasn’t insane.

But beside them.

Not behind them.

A strange feeling settled inside me.

Resolve.

I disliked it immediately.

Resolve usually led to effort.

Effort led to training.

Training led to Master Valerian smiling.

And nothing good ever happened after Master Valerian smiled during training.

I sighed.

"Great."

[What?]

The System’s voice appeared inside my mind.

I stared at the ceiling.

’I’ve accidentally developed motivation.’

Silence.

[Finally.]

I frowned.

’Don’t sound so happy.’

[I have waited twelve years.]

’And you can wait another twelve.’

[No.]

I sank slightly deeper into the pillow.

At least some things remained normal.

That helped.

For several minutes, I simply sat there.

Then footsteps approached outside.

Two sets.

My eyes narrowed.

The tent flap opened.

Master Valerian stepped inside first.

Behind him came my father.

I blinked.

Then stared.

Father’s blue hair was slightly damp, and the dark coat around his shoulders had been replaced since I last saw him.

There wasn’t a trace of blood on him.

No visible injury either.

He looked exactly like the Duke I remembered.

Calm.

Collected.

As though he hadn’t recently stood beneath enough water to drown an army while facing a corrupted bear monster who had killed three elite beastkin.

I stared for another second.

"Father?"

His blue eyes settled on me.

"You’re awake."

That was not an answer.

I looked at Master Valerian.

He shrugged slightly.

Traitor.

My attention returned to Father.

"I didn’t expect you to be here."

"I came to the border for you."

That silenced me.

Just briefly.

Then another thought immediately surfaced.

"Garron."

Father’s expression didn’t change.

"What about him?"

I stared.

"What happened?"

"He’s dead."

Silence.

I waited.

Father waited.

Master Valerian glanced between us.

I slowly sat straighter.

"You... killed him?"

"Yes."

Another silence.

That was it?

I stared at him.

"You say that as though you stopped somewhere to buy bread."

Father raised one eyebrow.

"He attacked you."

I waited for the rest.

There was no rest.

Apparently, murdering the leader of the Bear faction was simply another item Father had removed from his schedule.

Meeting at noon.

Review military reports.

Kill extremely powerful corrupted beastkin leader.

Dinner.

I wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or concerned.

Probably both.

"Was it difficult?"

Father considered the question.

"No."

I stared.

Of course.

Master Valerian’s mouth moved slightly.

He was trying not to smile.

I looked at him.

"Did you already know?"

"Yes."

"And you didn’t think to tell me?"

"You were asleep."

"That has never stopped you from waking me before."

"This time was different."

I opened my mouth.

Then closed it again.

Fair.

Valerian walked toward the chair beside the bed and sat down.

His eyes studied me carefully.

Not my body.

Me.

That was somehow more uncomfortable.

"How are you feeling?"

I knew what he was asking.

Not whether my ribs hurt.

Not whether my mana had recovered.

How was I feeling?

I looked down for a moment.

The answer wasn’t simple.

The pain was still there.

So was the guilt.

And if I thought about certain memories for too long, I could feel that pressure starting to build in my chest again.

But I wasn’t falling apart anymore.

Not right now.

"I’m fine."

Valerian continued staring.

I sighed.

"Mostly."

His eyebrow rose.

"That’s more believable."

"I slept."

"I noticed."

"Sleep fixes many things."

"Not everything."

My fingers paused against the blanket.

"No."

I looked toward the tent wall.

"I know."

Silence followed.

Not awkward.

Just quiet.

Father watched me.

I could tell he wanted to ask something.

He didn’t.

Instead, he moved toward the other chair.

Once he sat, his posture changed slightly.

Not enough that anyone unfamiliar with him would notice.

But I did.

The Duke had appeared.

The man who handled reports.

Wars.

Politics.

Information.

"Alash."

There it was.

"What happened after you disappeared?"