Here There be Dragons: Testing the Waters

They decided to wait for the official family dinner until the full moon. It turned out that the sirens, like Aella’s people, placed a great deal of faith in the idea that the full moon was lucky. Jules was apologetic that he would be “invading” on the one month marker from their wedding, but Nereida had waved off his apologies. The days passed easily, with a fair wind. Nereida spent most of her time with her sons, as Epelda was often either busy with her duties or sneaking off with Jules. Her brother was forever busy with the newborn, who had developed colic. She screamed at all hours, only really settling if she were brought above deck when the sun was no longer in the sky. Basiano had taken to sleeping on the deck while stories were told, as his baby was passed between Nereida, Epelda and Dymion. Aella threw herself into her ship duties, and was often busy most of the day. She would always stop in to lunch with them, but otherwise from dawn until dusk she was constantly on the move.

During these long, lonely days, Nereida drilled her sons on etiquette, on their history, and on their writing. She made it as fun as possible, but the boys wanted to be climbing and playing. Alejo missed the farm, missed the animals. So Nereida told stories about the horses at the palace, distracted with silly tales that had teachable moments sprinkled into them. She held the egg, keeping it warm and safe, for the first half of every day. Aella took the egg for the afternoon and evening. They slept with the egg between them. Her sons were no longer climbing into her bed every night. Alejo’s nightmares had settled again. Little Egaz kissed the egg every night, wishing his baby sister sweet dreams.

At night, Aella would hold her, and they would talk, but the Admiral had walls up again. She always sounded far away when she spoke about her day, or about her childhood. They did not engage in many passions, the children still sleeping fitfully enough that Aella was unwilling to risk it. The boys had asked to bring the egg to their bed, but given how much they tossed and turned, neither woman was willing to entertain that option. Still, Nereida let the boys touch the egg. Alejo, slower to warm up to the idea, practiced his recitations by telling them to the egg. Egaz regaled tales of his day to the egg.

For dinner, Dymion had actually broken into their spice store. He made a fancy fish dish, with some fresh potatoes and carrots, all of it drowning in butter. There was fresh fruit for dessert. Nereida flushed when he arrived.

“This is too much!” she protested, setting their little table up for dinner. He laughed.

“Oh, lass, we didn’t get to celebrate the wedding properly. Let us spoil you. Besides, Jules brought the fish to us, enough that every person on the ship is getting fresh meat tonight.” He laughed. “And, if you’re willing, Evander and I will be taking the kidlets tonight. I have a special project for the boys, and Evander said he’d wear the little princess.” He laughed at her shocked face. “You two need time, dear one. Time to be safe, together, and without… distractions.” He wiggled his very bushy eyebrows at her. She wondered if all his hair had migrated from his head to his eyebrows.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Dymion made himself scarce as Aella returned from duty. Nereida chased the boys out to the deck so that her wife could put on something more suitable. They had decided to dress up more formally, though the dress and suit they had worn for their wedding had been ruined by weeks of living on the island. Still, Nereida had enough dresses in her own colours. Aella had given her ribbons, and Nerieda worked them into her scarf that she had tied around her head. While she had worn her hair down, uncovered, the whole time they had been on the island, she knew Aella still felt uncomfortable when she let them see her hair. Her hair had grown a little, but not enough for even Aella’s clever hands to properly braid.

Aella looked beautiful in her official naval uniform. Nereida felt her heart flutter at the sight of her wife. Aella looked every inch the Admiral persona she so often portrayed. Powerful, deadly, in command.

“Wow, Gradamiral looks fierce!” Alejo whispered. “Like a hero!” Aella grinned at the boy affectionately, dispelling some of the fierceness of her look.

“Thank you, Alejo,” she said fondly. “Now, let’s get you two boys dressed in your fancy tunics and tabards.”

“But the lace itches,” Egaz complained. Aella laughed.

“That may be true, little one, but this is practice for you both. Practice for the state dinners. Practice for your manners,” Aella stressed the last word. Somehow, Alejo had brought a worm to dinner the night before. Nereida blamed Dymion, though she was glad for the little rebellion. Alejo’s anger was receding, and he was finally acting like himself.

Once the family was dressed, matched as best they could manage through ribbons and clothing, they waited for Epelda. When she arrived, she was arm in arm with her lover, her hand resting in the crock of Jules’s elbow. Hers. Nereida felt Aella bristle beside her, and she put a hand on her wife’s knee. She willed her wife to be calm, collected. This was a test for Aella as much as for the boys.

“Mother, Water-Mama, this is Jules,” Epelda signed out, letting go of his arm for a moment. She smiled, her whole face lighting up. Nereida had never seen the girl look so happy, so content. She glanced at Aella, taking a read of her wife, but Aella had slipped on a mask, her face a careful neutral that would not have been out of place at court. Nereida felt her stomach clench, and she worried Aella would do something stupid. But then the Admiral painted a smile on her face, and welcomed them both.

The dinner went well, with Jules telling stories about chasing his sisters beneath the waves, of his life changing once his gift for telling stories was discovered. He only saw his sisters once a year now. Alejo thought that was terribly sad, to be away from siblings. Egaz wanted to know more about living beneath the water. He thought it sounded wonderful, though his tone was almost sad as he spoke.

“It is,” Jules replied. “But cold all the time. Here it is warmer. I like being on the surface. Even though it takes magic to stay up here for me. It’s not too much any more. The first week I spent out of the water was hard.”

“You’ve been out of the water for weeks?” Nereida asked, surprised.

“I’ve taken a few dips, on slower days,” he replied with a shrug. “But… I needed to get used to it.” He smiled gently at Epelda. Aella’s hand tightened into a fist around, but her hand was beneath the table line and neither adolescent saw the move.

Epelda told them about sneaking aboard the ship when she had been small, telling the story slowly and in simple language. Jules asked questions, clearly understanding some, if not all, of her signing. Nereida was impressed. He had worked to learn as much as he had. She caught Epelda looking doe-eyed at the boy as she told the story when he asked about a sign he didn’t know. She smiled at them both, feeling warm and content as she watched the young love blossom. Even if it did not last, Epelda had found someone willing to work for her love. That was a treasure. Nereida took her wife’s hand, leaning into her. Aella startled, as if she had been in her own thoughts, completely oblivious to the adorable scene that played out.

Once supper was over, dessert happily consumed, the two young adults stayed to help clean up. The boys were playing together, a strange, made up game using both casting sticks and dice. Aella and Epelda had moved to the corner and were signing to each other, their movements calm, but with their backs to everyone else, no one could catch what was being said.

“Ma’am?” Jules smiled at her nervously. She had the egg on her lap, and had been humming to her while chaos happened around them.

“Yes, Jules?”

“May I say hello to the little one?” He shuffled nervously from foot to foot. She smiled at him, moving the blanket aside so that he could touch the smooth shell. His smile changed from nervous to radiant as he gently touched the egg.

“Do you want children?” Nereida asked him softly. He looked up at her, a dreamy expression on his face.

“Two or three,” he replied. He looked down at the egg. “Humans, not eggs.” She chuckled. “And only if she wants them.” His eyes flickered to Epelda. The sylph and the admiral had turned back toward them. Aella saw the boy’s hand on the egg, and she scowled. He quickly withdrew his hand, as if the egg burned. Nereida managed to control her sigh.

Aella crossed the room, her boots clacking impressively as she walked. It took effort to make all that noise but still look graceful. She put her hand on Nereida’s shoulder, her fingers digging in as if she could draw calmness or strength from the touch.

“Princess,” Jules bowed to Nereida, then glanced at the Admiral. He swallowed nervously. “Admiral. I have come to request that I officially court your daughter.” The fingers digging into Nereida’s shoulder tightened almost painfully. Nereida ignored her dramatic, brooding, angry wife. She would unpack all of that once the children were gone.

“Of course you may,” she replied, smiling. She looked up at Epelda, nodded at the girl. “Take your time, get to know each other.” Epelda beamed.

“Don’t get married by accident,” Aella grouched. Epelda laughed, though it was strained, nervous laughter. “I want you to get married on purpose or not at all,” Aella continued, as if the laugh had not happened. Her voice was soft, not angry. That was either progress, or she was masking again. “I just want you to be happy, daughter.”

“I am, mom,” Epelda signed confidently, her movements sure, her face lit with her smile. She moved up, holding her arms out. “May I hug you, mom?” At this, the tension in Aella’s body finally melted away. She let go of Nereida, and hugged the young woman tightly.

Before long, the young lovers left, bringing the children and the egg with them. Aella watched nervously as Nereida placed the egg in Epelda’s arms. She paced back and forth. Both the sylph and the princess chose to ignore her.

“See you in the morning, little loves,” Nereida said, kissing each of her small boys on their heads. She hugged Epelda from the side, so as not to jostle the egg. “Enjoy your secret project with Dymion!”

“Goodnight,” Aella said from behind her, her tone tight, almost terse.

“Goodnight mama!” The boys took off happily enough, excited to be with Dymion for his secret project.

She owed that man a bottle of wine from her father’s stores. Or maybe from her brother’s… Basiano had better taste than the old man.

Once they were all gone, Nereida slid the bar down. No more interruptions. Only quality time with her wife. But her thoughts fled when she saw how much Aella was shaking. She rushed to her wife’s side, pulling her into a tight hug.

“Love?” Nereida asked softly. “What is it?”

“I hate him.” Nereida was surprised by the virulence in her beloved’s voice. “He’s taking her. Building a future with her. He’s going to put babies in her! You heard him!”

“He said he wanted children, love. Lots of people do.”

“But they aren’t with my daughter!” Aella took a step back, began pacing about, her heels clacking on the wood floor. “I want him off the ship! I want things to go back to how they were!”

Ah. Nereida finally understood what had caused her wife’s behavior all night.

“Do you?” she asked softly. “To what? To not knowing who you are?” Aella stopped her pacing as if Nereida had slapped her, but the siren pressed on, knowing Aella needed to hear more, to be shaken from her mood. “Or to before we together?” She set her mouth in a hard line, watching Aella shrink. “Do you regret knowing me?”

“Of course not!” Aella looked shaken, the wind taken from her sails. “I just… I… we… WE have had no control, none at all, for so long and I just need… I need…” she began to cry. They were not great, wracking sobs, but just tears running silently down her face as she stared at Nereida. “I need to know who I am.”

“You are Grand Admiral Aella Kyverna, wife, captain of this ship.” Nereida took her wife’s hand again, squeezing it. “You are Moon Touched. You are stubborn and prideful, you are quick-witted. You are beautiful. You are the person I love. You are Epelda’s mother, whether or not she marries. You are step-mother to Alejo and Egaz, whether they are ready or not. And soon, you will be a mother to a new little life. Whether YOU are ready or not.” She did not kiss her wife, unsure if she would welcome it. Aella took a gulp of air, wiping her tears on her sleeve like a child. She leaned into Nereida.

“You are long winded,” Aella joked through her tears. She hiccuped, going red. Nereida chuckled.

“I am that. And you, you don’t really hate him, do you?”

“No.” The answer was grumbled out, Aella closing her eyes as if to ward herself against something. Nereida smiled, cupping her beloved’s cheek with her hand. She ran her thumb along the scar on Aella’s lip. It was the smallest of her facial scars, just a tiny line splitting the flesh of her left lip. She wondered how Aella had come by it.

“I love you, Aella. But let me in when things hurt.” She smiled against the tears that threatened her. “I can’t be there for you if you run from me.”

“I’m supposed to protect you.”

“We protect each other.” Nereida was firm, and Aella nodded. “Have you been avoiding me with work?”

“No, love. I’ve been… I needed to be out of my head. I needed to be where I belonged. Just for a while. Just until… until I could find myself again.”

“And have you?” Nereida pushed. She squeezed Aella’s hand. The pirate leaned into her, holding her tightly.

“No. But… but I think I have started down a new course.” Nereida could hear the tentative smile in Aella’s tone. “I’m afraid to be a mother.”

“You already are,” Nereida replied. “You raised Epelda. Alone.”

“Not alone. I had the crew.”

“And you still do.”

They stood in silence together, holding each other, as the waves crashed against the ship. The tension had gone from Aella’s body, her tears had stopped, and she finally looked relaxed.

“I love you,” Nereida told her softly. “The whole of you. Even the parts we don’t know yet.”

“I love you too, my ocean.”