040: Conflicted
Now, some may not like this, but trust the process.
**Chapter 40**
As a young, hormonal teenager, I had many crushes in my life. Lana was the first, my aunt the second, then Betty and several others. Some of them were wrong. Some were simply out of reach. One of them was both.
I loved no one the way I loved Sara. Her happiness was mine. Her sadness was mine. Whatever she felt, I felt it with her. She had changed a little in the years I hadn’t seen her, but underneath it all she was still the same Sara I had always loved—and still did. It stung quite a bit knowing she was in a relationship, but I couldn’t exactly force my will on her like a maniac in movies, could I?
So of course I had fantasies about her. But none of them were impure. I could imagine my aunt naked without hesitation. I never did the same with Sara. Not once.
There was only one thing I had ever truly wanted from her.
A simple kiss.
Just once. On the lips—not the cheek. Those soft, innocent lips that had already been claimed by that jackass Jackson. Even knowing that, I still wanted them. Just once, I told myself again and again. No more than that.
Now that I was actually kissing her, I wished that single moment would stretch on forever.
Sara had other ideas. She didn’t pull away. She pushed closer. I felt something soft and wet press against the seam of my lips. I opened for her, and our tongues met. She trembled. So did I.
She wasn’t finished. While our tongues moved together, she took my hand and placed it on her right breast—the one still covered by dry fabric. The softness alone was almost enough to make me finish in my pants. I gave it a careful, gentle squeeze. She squirmed against me and moaned into my mouth.
That small reaction told me everything I needed to know.
Keep going.
I obeyed. I kneaded the soft flesh carefully, shaping it under my palm, watching how easily it followed my touch. Not all of it was soft. At the center, a hard little peak waited. When I brushed it lightly, she arched harder, and the moan that left her carried a clear plea for more.
It still wasn’t enough. I had thought a kiss would be. It wasn’t. Her sounds were waking something inside me that felt different from ordinary lust.
Selfishness.
I pulled back just long enough to look at her face. She was breathing hard, eyes still clouded with the same haze as before.
That was all it took.
I shut my brain off. Thinking only made everything harder. If she wanted this, then all I had to do was give it to her.
I eased her back and pulled her shirt off, freeing her breasts. She was just as quick—maybe faster. She yanked my shirt over my head and threw it aside, then went straight for the button of my jeans. She got them off in seconds and started on her own pants, struggling a little with the yoga fabric. I helped, sliding them down her legs until she was left in only her panties.
I took a moment—just one—to look at her.
Her breasts were perfect. Not as large as Aunt Elise’s, but still full, round, and perky, topped with small cherry-pink nipples. I couldn’t see her ass yet, but the way the tiny panties sat on her hips left little to the imagination.
I gently pushed her down onto the couch, settled between her legs, and kissed her again—brief this time.
“Haan~~”
The soft, drawn-out sound she made nearly broke my control. I forced myself to move slower, trailing kisses down her neck. That earned a much louder moan. My cock was fully hard now, pressing against the thin barrier of her panties. I could already feel how wet she was through the fabric.
I was moving too fast. Even in this state, I knew that.
I kissed her once more on the lips, then worked my way down her body, deliberately avoiding her breasts. They weren’t the main goal right now. When I finally reached the front of her panties, the scent rising from them was thick and intoxicating—sweet, heavy, and mixed with that familiar pink haze. It wasn’t as dense as Aunt Elise’s, but it was still more than enough to pull me in.
I wanted to taste it. I wanted to take in as much of that haze as I could.
Before I could lower my head, Sara suddenly grabbed my wrists—the ones holding her thighs open—and said, sharp and clear:
“Wait! Don’t! No!”
Confusion hit me hard. In that brief hesitation, she scrambled out from under me, snatched up her clothes, and stood.
“I have to go.”
That was all she said. She ran upstairs. A second later a door slammed hard enough to tell me she had locked herself in her room.
For the first time in my life, I truly understood what blue-balled felt like. For me, it was worse than the usual version. It bordered on actual pain.
Fuck.
What the hell had I been thinking? That I was going to have sex with her right there on the couch while she was drunk? I had never even let myself imagine sex with Sara. I had always tried to keep those thoughts clean. Taking advantage of her while she was intoxicated was the exact opposite of that.
I sighed, picked up my own clothes, and stored them in the inventory before equipping a fresh set. I didn’t have the patience to put them on the normal way. Too much was already spinning in my head.
I went to the kitchen and found the vodka bottle still sitting on the counter, half empty. I picked it up and drank straight from it like water. The burn hit my throat, but that was all. No numbness, no escape. Just like every other type of alcohol I had tried—useless.
“Haa…”
I set the bottle down, more frustrated than before. Being unable to even drown my thoughts felt unfair.
I forced the depressing spiral to stop. I returned to the living room, collected the glasses, washed them, and put them away. The vodka bottle went into my inventory. If it simply vanished without a trace, it would be harder for anyone to prove it had ever been there.
Once everything was cleaned up, I stood at the bottom of the stairs and stared upward for a long time, trying to decide whether to go after her or leave her alone.
In the end, I chose the second option.
Some things were better dealt with when they came.
~~
Aunt Elise's jeans images would be posted when I finished Sara's images. Sara's images are a little so-so at the moment.