The Family You Have
At the Blood Hound’s wagon everyone seems to get ready to eat some food when I arrive.
“Ey look, the lizard’s big again!” Cory exclaims.
“Yeah, haha.” Turning to Martin I ask him, “Can I stay over tonight and travel with you tomorrow?”
“Sure, the wagon’s a bit cramped though with all the trash we accumulated so far so it might be a bit tight during the ride.”
“That’s fine, I can make myself smaller.”
“You can?”
“Yeah! See.”
Closing my eyes I turn into my small form, “Tadaa!” causing the others to be very surprised.
“Eh!?”
“Eh!?
“Huh!?”
“Wait, wait, hold on. Is that a new thing you can do!?” Martin asks.
“Not really, no.”
“And you can do that whenever you want?”
“Yeah, I do turn back when I go to sleep though.”
“Hold on, so you can turn into this form whenever you want and you still let yourself get bullied by my lil sis? Are you stupid or something?”
“Maybe a little…But back then it was still a secret! We didn’t want you to think that Scarlet and I are sisters.”
Susan compassionately asks, “So they made you walk around like a man instead…?”
“Well they didn’t make me. I also was okay with that because I can fight in my cursed form.”
Martin, a little angry, asks, “Have you considered that perhaps little kids like you shouldn’t seek out battle!?”
“I’m not a kid though, I can fight and help!”
“Shit…This really is like talking to a toddler…Oy! Kiddo, fighting is for grown ups!”
Going back to my cursed form I answer, “I can be a grownup whenever I want.”
This seems to get him even more riled up as he takes his fist and rubs down his knuckles on top of my head, “Oy! Go back to your kid form when I’m scolding you!”
“Ouch! Okay, okay,” Turning small again I say, “I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me anymore…”
“I-I wasn’t really trying t- Gaaaah! You’re the most frustrating kid I’ve ever talked to!”
Daniel the giant muscly guy then kneels down on one knee and puts his hand on my shoulder, “What Martin was trying to say is that we’re concerned about you. Some of us are orphans ourselves and we all have seen the damage a life of fighting and survival causes on kids. You have adults that you can lean on, right? So, why are you doing this to yourself?”
“I…Because I want to be useful.”
“Why do you need to be useful?”
“Because…Because a tool without a use gets discarded. If-If I am not useful they won’t want me anymore. I need to be strong enough to take care of myself if I want others to be kind to me and to be prepared for when they are no longer kind to me.”
Even more angry than before Martin picks me up by the waist, puts me under his arm and starts walking towards our wagon.
“Where are we going?”
“To your dad.”
“I don’t want to meet him!”
“I don’t care.”
Briskly, Martin walks over to our wagon and when he sees papa he suddenly throws me at him, “AAAAAAAAGH.”
Catch
Without problem papa catches me and puts me close to him, “What’s the meaning of this Mr. Martin?”
“Well, ‘your Highness’ your daughter thinks of herself as nothing but worthless trash ready to be discarded at any moment if she doesn’t perform well on the battlefield. Do something about that. I’ll go eat dinner now. Also Rose, you’re banned from our wagon unless there is an emergency from now on.”
“What!? Why?”
“Because I said so. Go be with your family,” He answers, then turns around holding up his hand in a wave and going to the campfire.
“Is what he said true my dear?”
“It’s at least not wrong. A tool without a use gets discarded so I need to make sure I can take care of myself. Can you let me go now?”
“Rose…Do you see yourself as a tool to be used?”
“Of course I do? Everyone is just a tool. If we don’t function anymore we will get rid of, that’s just how things work.”
“How about Scarlet and Rayla? What functions do they have for you to keep them around?”
“They…They make me happy.”
“I see, so if they stop making you happy will you discard them?”
“I don’t know…I don’t think I would.”
“Oh? But wouldn’t they be useless to you then?”
“I-I guess…”
“...”
“I know! Some old tools have sentimental value to hold on right? So they aren’t completely useless and I would still keep them around.”
“So a well loved tool won’t be discarded?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Then why would Scarlet, Rayla or me abandon you when you become ‘useless’?”
“Because a useless tool gets discarded.”
“Don’t you think you’re a loved tool?”
“I don’t know…I think they do.”
“But you’re not sure?”
“Yeah…When I love someone I know that I do but how can I know if someone else does? And how can I know if they will still love me if I become useless? It’s not worth the risk to believe them…”
“What do you think will happen if you become useless and you get discarded?”
“Well…I don’t have a family or a home to go back to so I’d probably try to work or go to the orphanage in Old Kroy. I’m a bit scared that I might get sick and die or get captured and sold as a slave on the way there though.”
“I see…Do you remember a time where you weren’t scared you might die at any point?”
“Yeah, I think there was a time where I wanted to die but recently it scares me.”
Suddenly hugging me real close he says, “That’s good. Fearing death is a lot better than craving it, you’ve done well getting to this point my dear Rose.”
“Can you let me go now?”
“No, I’ll never let you go again my dear Rose.”
“I said let me go!” Biting into his arm there is no reaction from him and he doesn’t let go.
“You can bite your papa as much as you want my dear. You’re my lovely daughter and I will make sure you feel loved from now.”
“Just let me go already, if you don’t I’ll hurt you until you do!”
“I’ll never let you go again my dear.”
“Your funeral!”
Moving my mana to my throat I prepare to spit fire at him but he doesn’t look scared at all, it looks more like he’s excited. A bit pissed off I let the fire accumulate in my throat then let it out right at his face.
“I didn’t want to hurt you but you left me n-”
“Amazing! Absolutely amazing! Such a big and pure flame at your age! You’re amazing my daughter!”
Hitting his chest with my hands I yell, “How are you not hurt by that!?”
“The only way you could ever hurt me my dear is by being unhappy.”
“Well I’m unhappy right now, so let me go!”
“How could I ever let someone as cute as you go?”
Closing my eyes I turn back into my cursed form, “There, now I’m not cute anymore so you can let me go!”
“What are you talking about my dear? There is no way this curse could fool me, of course you’re cute.”
“I’m not cute! Now let me go! Hiss”
“Ahahaha you’re so lively! That’s a sign of good health. But as I already told you, I’ll never let you go again. Let’s go inside, it's late, you should sleep.”
“Let me go first!”
“No chance.”