Chapter 87: Gaps in memory
Noah’s POV
It’s me.
I’m the boy Elias Deus has been looking for.
Oh my goddess.
I get up from the bed, but the action puts too much pressure on my ankle, and I fall back into the white mattress.
"Lucas...I think...I think it’s me..." I stutter.
My head is spinning too fast. There are so many words trying to rip my brain apart. And those words are years of questions that I’ve never thought of asking before.
Why did Conan do that to me? How did he get past my father’s security? What exactly happened to him?
"Noah, you have to be sure if it’s you or not. I can’t risk breaking Elias’s heart with an assumption" Lucas says logically and I shake my head.
"No, I’m sure it’s me. I’m starting to remember fragments of that experience" I say.
"This Conan person brought me to Gotteigen. He made me wait in the forest, he said we were playing hide-and-seek...and I..." my breathing stutters.
I’m slowly descending into panic.
"What else do remember after that?" Lucas asks. The alpha is leaning forward in Elias’s seat with a frown pulling his brows together.
I remember sitting with Elias. I remember thinking he’d be my friend forever. And then it turns murky again.
"I can’t remember anything else" I whisper with disappointment in my tone and Lucas’s shoulders drop.
"Maybe you needed something to trigger the memories. Do you remember anything before the kidnap happened?" he asks and I tilt my head to the side as if the action will help me think clearly.
"Yeah..." I say.
"I can remember everything before the kidnap. I remember Conan used to babysit me. I used to spend a lot of time with him, then suddenly, I stopped seeing him."
Whatever Freya did to me was too effective.
She kept my memories, but took Conan’s name out of my head. She made me refer to him as ’they’ and made him seem like a fragment of my imagination.
"Oh goddess" I mutter, dragging my fingers through my hair and trying to regulate my breathing.
My heart rate is slowly accelerating and I think I’m losing my mind.
"Hey...just calm down, okay? I don’t think putting pressure on your brain right now would help" Lucas says softly and I nod.
I’m nodding but I don’t agree.
How can I not put pressure on my brain to figure out this mess?
"It’s good a sign now that you remember something. But don’t tell it to Elias till you’re completely sure, okay?" Lucas suggests and I curl my fingers around my blond strands and tug on them.
"I’m terrified, Lucas" I confess and his face soften.
"Ask me questions. Ask me any question and I’ll help you get your mind off it" Lucas says in a softer tone and I get back into the bed, resting my back against the headboard again.
"How did you...how did you end up leaving Winslow?" I ask.
"You might want to ask something less...painful" he says.
"Painful for you?"
"Painful for you" he jerks his chin in my direction and I don’t get it. I genuinely don’t get it.
"I don’t understand" I say.
"We were trafficked" he says bluntly and I blink once. I blink again. My brain is slow in processing what I just heard.
"B-by the Deus?" I ask.
Am I lying in the bed of a man who kidnaps people and render them useless by castrating them?
"No. By Winslow’s trade system" Lucas says with a ’isn’t it obvious’ expression on his face.
No.
Nothing is obvious but the fact that he’s lying.
"I know the Winslow’s trade system. We sell plants for medication. We are one of the few places in the world that maintains the older lifestyle and traditions" I say.
Lucas’s face doesn’t change.
"Noah, what are older traditions like?" the alpha’s asks.
"Social hierarchy. Family bond. Omega education..." I trail off as he raises a brow.
"Omega conditioning. Omega trafficking. Child marriage. Are you still with me?" he asks and I run my fingers through my hair.
"You’re making things up" I laugh.
"Okay, if you say so" he shrugs and irritation swells inside my chest.
It’s the loyalty I have to my city.
"Your words make no sense. You’re saying Winslow sold you and Deus bought you? How is that even sensible when you’re not even an omega" I start to talk aggressively and Lucas barks a bitter laughter.
"Will you listen to me?" he asks in a cold voice and a shudder runs through my body.
"It was the week when my sister, Aria, presented as an omega" he says, and I calm myself down to listen to him and his lies.
"One night, a group of men broke into the orphanage and took her. Aria was all I have left, so I fought to be with her.
"Those people beat me up, broke a couple of bones, and left me to die but I didn’t give up. I snuck into their lair and stayed with my sister, and pretended to be one of the stolen omegas" he says and his face grows darker.
"Why didn’t you take her and run?"
"We were thirteen. If a thirteen-year-old boy could sneak in easily, do you think they wouldn’t have doubled their security?" Lucas asks and I go slack on the bed.
Weak.
I feel drained.
"Noah, they were regularly molesting everyone to force them into submission" he says and I turn my head away from him.
I can’t listen to this.
It’s too disgusting.
"They came for my sister and I refused to let them take her. Do you know what happened next? Noah" he asks.
I don’t want to know but I choose to ask.
"What happened?" I ask in a weak voice.
"They took me. They were going to use me when they found out I was an alpha. My secondary gender didn’t stop them" he sneers and I start to shake my head.
"They did what they wanted with me. And after debating whether to keep me or not, they decided to castrate me" he says and I cover my mouth with my hand.
He’s lying.
He has to be lying.
I’ve been with dad most of the times during trades and I’ve seen what we do.
"Stop l-lying" my voice breaks with the request.
"Noah-" Lucas calls my name to say something else, but we get distracted by an angry voice comes from outside the hallway.
"What do you mean my son jumped out of a building’s window weeks ago and no one told me?!"
It’s Siren’s voice.
The anger in his voice is so raw that I can only stare at Lucas with fear.
My fear is not just because of Siren’s anger or the implication of what he just said. It’s because of the fact that I’m the reason Elias jumped out of a building’s window a few weeks ago.