Chapter 77: Tell me everything you like
Noah’s POV
I move around on the bed to invite Elias in but he doesn’t move.
Thinking he needs more space, I scoot even farther, making myself as small as I can manage and doing my best not to show the disappointment on my face.
"What?" I finally snap when he keeps standing there and staring at me. Am I that dirty now or did I misinterpret the whole situation?
"I didn’t know what that song was about" he says, shoving his hands into his pockets and clenching his jaw.
Oh...he’s still embarrassed about it.
Oddly cute...I guess.
"It’s fine. I can tell you didn’t know" I murmur, patting the spot beside me for him to climb in.
"Come on" I say and he eventually gets in and lays stiffly next to me. It’s funny how rigid he is, and really, all the sadness has evaporated.
"I just wanted to make you laugh, you have been keeping to yourself and crying all day. I didn’t like it" he says. The words come tumbling out of his mouth, and this has to be the most uncomposed I’ve ever seen Elias.
"Yeah, being betrayed by the person who mentored you kind of hurts" I say, playing with the end of my shirt by wrapping it around my finger.
Self-conscious and reminded of my little belly and lack of a pup, I stop playing with the shirt and try to tuck my stomach it in.
’Attractive omegas have abs or baby bump’ is one of the rules written in the omega textbook.
Don’t think of it...don’t think of Freya or a child who shouldn’t exist...
"I killed her for you" Elias states flatly.
He already told these words before, and like the first time, I still don’t know what to make of it. I’ve seen Elias torture and kill at least five people. And as much as I’m starting to like him, that part of him is terrifying.
"I know" my voice cracks.
The room goes quiet and the only noise is the sound of the wall clock ticking.
"I’m not supposed to, but I like songs by The Neighborhood, Arctic Monkeys, TV Girl..." my voice trails off.
I feel like a dumb teen with his crush.
My intention is to push him off, what am I doing?
"I don’t know them" Elias murmurs, turning on his side to look at my face while I stare at the ceiling.
I want to turn to my side and look at him too, but I don’t. I just keep my focus on the white ceiling.
"They’ve got good songs. I remember the first time I listened to 505 was at a shopping mall with Zane. He knew I liked it and started sneaking albums with a CD player to my room" I say, laughing softly as I remember the look on my face when the first song started to play.
"Zane" Elias repeats his name.
Oh.
Right.
Elias and his jealousy still exists.
I shouldn’t have mentioned my best friend’s name, I hope I don’t get him in trouble for saying his name to Elias.
"Don’t hurt him, please" I whisper, finally turning my head to look at the man who has been staring at me.
The moment our eyes meet; blue iris against brown iris. He blinks twice like I never should have caught him staring.
"Keep talking about what you like" he says, turning his head away and directing his gaze to something else.
"I used to imagine going out with friends. I would imagine that I’ll be so drunk that I’ll sing rubbish lyrics at the top of my lungs while giggling like stupid" I smile at my own imagery.
"Why?" Elias asks.
"What?" I reply in confusion.
"Why is all that so fascinating to you? It’s just a normal person’s life" the alpha says logically.
"Hmm...life is fascinating, isn’t it?" I ask him and he finally looks at me again. We both forget what we’re talking about when our eyes meet again, and I clear my throat.
"Life becomes more beautiful when you’ve been on the verge of losing it...doesn’t it?" I ask and Elias lifts himself on his elbow, looking at me with questioning eyes.
No. No. No.
How did I get this loose-lipped with him?
That part of my life is not meant for the public. I was taken to doctors to make sure no scars remained, I went to hours upon hours of therapy. No one but my family knows.
"What do you mean?" Elias asks and I laugh awkwardly, eyes bouncing around the room. I’m looking for a way to change the topic from me to something else.
"Well...uh..." my words get caught in my throat when our position suddenly changes. I’m pinned to the bed with my hands by my head as Elias straddles me.
"What do you mean?" he asks again through his teeth and my lungs forget how to function.
This position is not new between us. It’s almost too familiar, he’s my possessor and I’m his possession.
It’s really not new but it makes me freeze. In my head I’m taken right back to Freya’s warehouse.
"Wait" I choke out.
Elias is not putting his weight on me, but it feels that way. It feels like those two men are holding me down again. One is positioned at my head, the other one is prying my legs apart.
"Wait" I repeat.
Two soft slaps on the cheek forces me out of my head and back to the room.
"Hey?" his clinical voice calls and I shut my eyes, dragging me back to the present.
"Hey, where are you?" he asks and I shake my head.
The tip of my hair is oddly wet and my lungs are working again, why am I sweating this much, it’s only been two minutes.
"I’m here" I say and he pulls me up, hugging me to his chest and letting me rest my chin in his shoulder.
I’m being hugged by death, yet I feel so...safe.
"Good, you’re here. You’re with me" he says and I nod in affirmation.
"Are you okay?" he asks and I nod again, breaking the hug to put some distance between us.
"I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened to me" I confess and he runs his fingers through my wet hair.
"I triggered you" he says.
"Oh" I whisper. I’m disappointed in myself for reacting like this. He was just trying to hang out with me and I started to panic.
"I’m sorry" I apologize again.
"You shouldn’t be sorry" he says flatly and my heart dips. "I won’t touch you anymore" he adds and my already breaking heart sinks even lower.
I should be happy he’s finally saying he won’t touch me, but instead of that, I feel devastated.
I’ve really really lost the plot. Didn’t I ask him to stay so I can scare him off?
There are two sharp knocks to the door and a woman’s voice follows. "Sir?" the lady at the door calls, and Elias sits up straight.
"Yes?"
"It’s dinner time" she says and he gets up, straightening his clothes and shoving his hands into his pockets again.
"I’ll bring up your dinner--"
"I will come down for dinner--"
We both say at the same time and Elias arches his perfectly straight brow.
"You want to eat with my family?" he asks and I nod, showing him how much I mean it by getting out of the bed.
"I’ll join you after I’m dressed" I say.
I have to be a man. I can’t hide forever in this room. I am too extroverted to be all by myself at all times.
And maybe I can learn a bit more about my husband.
"Fine, be down in ten minutes" Elias says with his eyes on the wall clock and not on me.
Ten minutes.