Chapter 7 Despair
Chapter 7 Despair
“Ouch… ouch—!”
I was in the shower at home. Every time the water hit my bruises, sharp pain spread through my body.
“Why… why me?” I whispered.
When I went to bed, I stared up at the wooden slats of the top bunk. Wedged between them was my red confession letter. I’d hidden it there for safekeeping.
Those guys had taken my school bag last time—dumped it into a toilet and flushed it. I hadn’t been able to save anything inside.
These days, they always managed to find me. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what to do anymore.
I didn’t want to look weak in front of Ale Onee-chan.
If she knew the truth—that I was just a useless, weak kid who couldn’t even protect himself—what would she think of me? How could I confess to her then? How could I keep the promises I’d written in that letter?
How could I find our little brothers?
How could I become her protector?
I let out a bitter smile.
I know how this would really go.
If she found out, she’d probably rush in without hesitation and beat the crap out of those guys—just like back then. Just like she always did.
And that would leave me the same as ever.
The little brother who needed protection.
My eyes slowly closed.
Suddenly, we were together at school.
Everything was good.
I was taller. Stronger. Even a little handsome. We walked hand in hand, smiling.
Then, outside the school gates, we saw Kota and Kei. Both of them were already bigger, taller—safe.
My chest tightened, and I felt really happy.
Then, like always, they disappeared.
I couldn’t see where they went.
This time, Ale was still beside me. But she let go of my hand.
“You’re a liar,” she said quietly. “Why didn’t you protect them?”
“No—wait—I’m sorry,” I said desperately. “We can still find them—”
She turned away.
“I don’t need someone like you.”
And then she was gone too.
“Ahhh—!”
I woke up in the middle of the night, gasping for air.
“No—…!”
My heart was racing.
The nightmares were back.
I lay there staring at the ceiling, breathing hard.
“…I need to do something, I can’t stay like this.”
My hands clenched into the sheets.
“I need to find a way. A weapon… a strategy… something.”
I swallowed. “Not everything can be fixed with brute force.”
Later that day at school, I was slumped over my desk during class, barely listening.
From the corner of the room, I heard laughter. Two girls were whispering to each other.
“Seriously, Mika, just introduce me to your brother already,” one of them said. “He’s so handsome.”
“What? No way,” Mika replied. “He’s so lame. And way too overprotective.”
“But he’s so cool,” the other girl whispered excitedly. “That bleached hair… even his name sounds cool. Ryuuji, right?”
My body stiffened.
Ryuuji…?
Isn’t that the bleached guy’s name?
I lifted my head slightly and glanced over.
Mika was a pretty girl—thin, delicate, almost doll-like. I’d noticed her before, but I’d never paid much attention. I usually didn’t look at other girls; compared to Ale Onee-chan, no one else even came close.
The difference was like sky and earth.
My thoughts began to race.
If that’s really his sister… can I use that somehow?
Maybe I could befriend her? Ask her to tell him to stop?
I immediately shook the idea away.
No. That’s stupid.
She’d just think I’m a creep.
And I don’t even know how to talk to her.
I let my head fall back onto the desk.
But the thought didn’t disappear.
What if…
What if I set a trap?
If she saw it herself—if she caught her brother in the act, saw how awful he really was—then she wouldn’t be able to ignore it.
Then maybe…
Maybe Ryuuji would finally stop.
My heart beat faster.
For the first time in days, the fear wasn’t the only thing inside me.
There was something else.
A plan—still messy, still uncertain—but it existed.
It was lunchtime.
I ate in the classroom, not leaving my seat. Staying there reduced the chances of running into them. I took a bite of my onigiri.
Mm. Tasty.
My gaze drifted to the window.
I wish I could see Ale.
I haven’t seen her in a while… I wonder how she’s doing.
Before I could sink deeper into the thought, lunch ended. The next teacher walked in, and class resumed.
Then—
“Taiyou-san, could you take these forms to the office, please?”
My heart dropped.
“Ah—me?” I almost said no. Almost.
“…Okay.”
I stood up, my legs trembling.
“Crap… why do I have such bad luck?” I muttered under my breath. “The plan isn’t even ready yet…”
I walked quickly through the halls, keeping my eyes low, delivered the forms, then immediately turned back.
Just go straight. Don’t think. Don’t stop.
I rounded a corner—
And froze.
“Ah—”
Right in front of me stood Ryuuji.
Beside him was the gorilla—Takeru.
Both of them turned at the same time and locked eyes on me.
For a split second, no one moved.
Then instinct took over.
I turned and ran.
I didn’t get far.
A hand grabbed me, yanking me back before I could even shout.
“Hehehe,” Takeru said, grinning. “Where do you think you’re going, punching bag?”
My chest tightened. The hallway suddenly felt too narrow.
And I knew—
I’d walked straight into hell again.
They dragged me into an empty classroom and shoved me inside.
“Ouch—” I hit the floor hard.
I shook my head and forced myself to speak. I decided, once and for all, to try ending this with words.
“Why are you acting like this?” I said, my voice trembling but loud. “We’re supposed to be civilized people. This isn’t right—attacking someone like this.”
Both of them frowned.
“Shut it, dumbass.”
Ryuuji kicked me.
“Argh—!”
“Really noisy for a punching bag,” he sneered. “You’re nothing like the one Alessandra owns, right?”
My eyes snapped open.
“…What?”
The gorilla—Takeru—laughed. “Hehe. Mamoru really knows how to do it. She beats the crap out of that Kana girl every day. So much that Kana acts like a tamed pet. Hehehe.”
Something inside me snapped.
For the first time, I looked at them with pure anger.
“Don’t badmouth Ale!” I screamed. “She isn’t a bully like you idiots!”
Both of them recoiled slightly at my outburst.
“She’s my girlfriend,” I shouted, my voice shaking with rage. “Don’t you ever say her name with your filthy mouths!”
I felt hatred boiling in my chest. How dare they talk about her like that—without knowing her at all.
But Ryuuji moved fast.
A punch landed hard—much harder than before. I dropped to the floor, coughing, my lungs burning.
“Your girlfriend?” he laughed. “Don’t make me laugh, pussy. Alessandra is my woman. Don’t you know? We’ve done it plenty of times. I kissed her. Her body’s been mine more times than I can count.”
My heart dropped.
But I forced myself to breathe. Forced myself to stand.
I laughed weakly through my coughs. “You really think I’d believe that?”
I straightened, fixing him with a burning glare. “Someone like you… filthy delinquents.”
A twisted, bitter smile pulled at my lips.
“I wonder what your sister would think if she knew how you really behave,” I went on. “How you gang up on people. How you attack others like this—like a bunch of animals.”
I was using his sister’s name as a way out of this mess.
My hands were shaking—but not from fear anymore.
I was furious that he dared to slander my dear Ale.
But it only made things worse.
A massive fist slammed into my face.
“Ah—!”
I crashed to the ground again, my vision spinning.
“Motherfucker,” Ryuuji roared. “Don’t you dare talk about my sister!”
“Oh, you really got him this time,” the other guy laughed.
I could barely see them anymore. My head felt light, my thoughts slipping.
Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted.
“Call the others,” Ryuuji said, his voice shaking with rage. “We’ll teach this bastard once and for all not to mess with me—my woman—or my sister.”
My mind went blank for a moment.
When I opened my eyes again, everything was dark.
“What… where am I…?”
My arms were tight. My legs too. I couldn’t move.
As my vision adjusted, I realized I was in what looked like an old gym warehouse. Dusty, abandoned. I turned my head, but I was alone.
Then the door opened.
Voices flooded in.
Volleyball nets and thick ropes held my body—my arms spread, my legs pulled apart. I was suspended, barely touching the ground.
“Look, the bastard’s awake,” someone said.
It was them—the group that followed Ryuuji and Takeru, boys and girls alike, all making a ruckus.
They stepped in last, watching me.
Suddenly, a bag was yanked over my head.
“Open your mouth,” Takeru ordered.
“No—wait—!”
A rag was forced in before I could finish. My words died in my throat. Panic surged as the bag tightened, swallowing what little light remained.
I thrashed, struggling uselessly against the ropes.
No—no—what do I do?
This is kidnapping.
I need to go to the police.
With my vision gone and my hearing dulled—and unable to scream for help—real fear finally hit me.
A punch slammed into my body.
Then another. “Mmmmf—!”
“Now he’s really just a punching bag.”
“Hahaha.”
“Dumbass.”
It hurt—but it was still manageable. Barely.
I forced myself to breathe, to stay calm. The bag and the rag made every breath feel suffocating.
I need to survive.
I need to find a way.
A good man must be resourceful… even in hell
Then I heard the door open.
More footsteps. More voices. New people. I couldn’t recognize them.
“Hey…” a girl said, startled. “Aren’t you guys going a little too far?”
Yes.
That’s right.
Finally—someone sane.
Another heavy punch slammed into my stomach.
“Mmmfmfmf—!”
Pain shot through me.
“Don’t worry about it, Mamoru,” someone said.
“This guy deserves it.”
No—that wasn’t true.
The muffled voice sounded a little like hers… but it wasn’t.
A petty trick.
I knew it. They wanted me to believe it was her—but it wasn’t. She would never stand beside people like them. Never with criminals. And she would never attack someone bound, unable to defend himself.
Still, I wouldn’t break.
I was in agony, but I held on.
I would never waver in my trust in Ale.
Then something smashed into the back of my head.
My vision lurched.
My body went slack.
Another punch followed—this one straight into my back. Air exploded out of my lungs as I tried to move, to wrench my arms free, but they wouldn’t respond. I was completely trapped.
“Make sure he never does it again.”
“Come on, punching bag—take your punishment.”
The blows came heavier now. Stronger. Ruthless.
“Mmmf—mmmf—nggh—!”
Tears spilled out as I started to sob, the sounds crushed into my throat.
More voices. Girls this time.
“Let’s see him squirm.”
“I wanna try.”
The attacks didn’t stop. They stacked on top of each other, strikes that made my whole body shudder with pain.
“Motherfucker.”
“You dared to put your hands on my sister.”
A deep voice. Furious.
I never did that, I cried silently, shaking, but the words never left me.
Thud. Thud.
Heavier hits followed, each one driving me closer to the floor, closer to nothing.
Then it got worse.
The rhythm changed—faster, harder, overflowing with hate. Someone was hitting me with everything they had, unrestrained, savage, powerful. My body couldn’t take it. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to die—anything to escape this.
“Don’t move, fucker.”
“Receive your punishment, you fucking asshole.”
A girl’s voice—snarling, vicious.
The blows intensified, so relentless it felt like my very self was being torn apart.
“You go, girl!”
“Show that pussy not to mess with us!”
“Fucking groper. Pervert.”
Cheering.
Laughter.
Pure hatred rained down—voices, fists all blurring together.
I’m not a groper.
I never was.
Even when I had the chance—when I was close to Ale Onee-chan—I never did anything.
The darkness pressed in, swallowing everything.
Then—
silence.
For just a moment. A small space to breathe. The attacks stopped.
CRASH.
“MMMMGHTRERTGREGERGERTGRG!”
My body convulsed violently, jerking out of control as my screams were smothered by the rag stuffed over my mouth. I thrashed helplessly, every muscle locking and spasming as the sound died inside my own skull.
A kick had landed square between my legs—a deep, crushing blow that destroyed my manhood.
Laughter rained down.
“What—”
“Oh shit, she did that.”
“He got castrated.”
“What’s that smell?”
“He’s pissing himself—gross.”
“What a dumbass. Ruined for good.”
My pants were soaked. Shock and pain tore through me, blasting past anything I could endure. My mind shattered under it. I wanted to vomit, to split apart, to die right there on the spot.
“ARGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGRGRG!”
“You deserved it,” a girl’s voice whispered in my ear—familiar, haunting—but the agony wouldn’t let me recognize it.
My entire body was burning. My mind went foggy, the voices blurring into nothing but noise. The hits stopped, but I barely registered it—there was nothing left but deep, piercing pain.
I was in hell.
Then—like ice water—
another blow slammed into me.
“AGH—!”
The punches returned.
Saliva spilled from my stuffed mouth as my head snapped forward. Rough hits followed again, heavier this time. My body jerked uselessly, muffled cries leaking out as I thrashed against the restraints.
Then, finally—light.
Someone reached up and tore the bag away.
I squinted instinctively, trying to shut my eyes as the brightness stabbed into them. My face throbbed—swollen, stretched tight. Snot and saliva smeared my cheeks, my chest heaving as I struggled to pull in air.
“Mm—mmhh—!”
Ryuuji ripped the rag from my mouth.
I gasped violently, choking on air as if I’d been drowning. “Ah—hh—ahh—!” My voice shattered into sobs. “P-please… stop… p-please…” I tried to pull my arms together, to curl in on myself and cover the stabbing pain in my crotch—to disappear—but the ropes held me spread open, exposed and helpless. Broken.
Ryuuji grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head up.
“Bring the phone,” he said. “Let’s show this bastard.”
I barely understood what was happening as a cellphone was shoved in front of my face—a flip phone. Expensive. Rare. Not many students owned one.
Then I saw it.
The recording.
What had just happened.
Takeru.
Ryuuji.
All of them—beating me.
And then—
someone else joined.
A tall girl. Red, fiery hair pulled into a ponytail.
My eyes went wide in horror.
I shook my head violently, tears spraying as my entire body trembled.
“N—no—!” I gasped, my voice breaking.
On the screen, she was hitting me too while the others laughed and cheered her on. She wore a wide, furious grin as she struck, every movement deliberate.
“Th—that’s n-not—!” I choked, coughing hard, the words barely leaving my throat.
“N-no—no—no—! T-that’s not her—! A-Ale Onee-chan isn’t like that—! Y-you’re lying—please—!”
Then the kick part came.
My body shuddered as her foot slammed into me. It was hers. No mistaking it. She bent down, close enough that only the camera could catch it, and whispered—
“You deserved it.”
My mind went blank.
I shook my head again and again, weak and frantic, like a child refusing to accept what he was seeing.
“N-no… th-that’s not…” My voice cracked.
“Y-you wouldn’t… y-you wouldn’t do that to me…”
Ryuuji leaned in, his voice low and poisonous.
“I told you from day one, you piece of shit. Alessandra is mine. Mine only.”
He laughed.
“Look at you. Crying like a bitch.”
“She hates you.”
“You’re just a worthless twig.”
He tilted the phone closer, forcing it into my face.
“She beat you herself. Smiled while doing it.”
“And now?” His grin widened. “You’re not even a man anymore.”
He pulled the phone back for a moment—just long enough for my focus to slip—then shoved it forward again.
“Look.”
My eyes locked onto the frozen image.
Ale Onee-chan and Ryuuji—kissing.
It looked intimate. Passionate. Mutual. Like they were actually a couple.
“That body of hers is truly wonderful. You have no idea how many times I’ve fucked her—hahaha.”
Finally, something inside me shattered.
A broken sound tore from my throat—half sob, half scream. Raw. Animal. Dragged from deep in my chest, as if I were trying to force my body to move—to fight, to reach Ryuuji, to destroy him with anything I had.
My muscles strained uselessly against the ropes. I wanted to bite him, spit at him, claw at him—anything. The rage burned so violently it hurt.
But the strength never came.
I collapsed into a weak, trembling whine.
My shoulders sagged inward, folding beneath a weight far heavier than the restraints. Whatever had been keeping me upright finally gave out.
Tears kept falling, dripping silently onto the floor.
My eyes lost focus—
empty, staring at nothing.