Melting Heart: Becoming a Dragon

Alright… how to break this to everyone… “Oh yeah, I’m giving being a girl a try. But don’t worry, I might go back. No pressure.” No, no, they definitely want her to be girl, ‘don’t worry’ doesn’t fit… “Yeah, just a temporary- thing. To trying being a girl. Don’t make a big deal of it.” They really seemed to make a big deal out of absolutely everything though… how’s a girl supposed to casually break news to such a… loving family? Overbearing? Both were somewhat true.

She was pacing back and forth at the entrance to the ministry’s complex as she had the entire internal dialogue. How does one say they’re just ‘trying out’ a different gender? That seemed like too big of a deal to just casually drop ‘yeah I’m fucking around a little with it’, didn’t it?

She and Tiamat had certainly worked out the ‘yeah trying it isn’t so bad’ part, but actually talking about those feelings with others wasn’t so easy. She was absolutely convinced she was going to be hit with the same unrelenting ‘we’re so proud of you and love you so much’ that Amjazel and Emren continued to drown her with on a daily basis. It was… less annoying than it was at first, but still not her cup of tea.

At least Tiamat had kept her word about improving the status of coldmarked individuals. She had explained her intent to launch what could be best described as an inquisition in her ministry to either root our or amend any lingering stigma. She and Arxet had sat down to go through every single name on the list of students from Arxet’s session of the rider academy (she would, unfortunately not, accept ‘pretty much everyone sucked’ as a parameter for who stayed and who went), and one by one almost every single name on it was struck.

The goddess seemed unhappy that her church may go understaffed for a few years, the introduction of new blood to replace those nearing retirement was vital to its continuing smooth function, but reaffirmed to her granddaughter that it was a worthy sacrifice. The only names spared Arxet’s wrath were those who had already become riders that day, such as Tifsa and the rider Brin had chose, but that was only two. Brin and Arxet were the only dragons who would receive riders for that session. There would be no choosing ceremony in two days without any remaining prospects. Tiamat had even promised to take any heat that came with it for Arxet. The dragons who were returning for selection wouldn’t be happy.

Honestly, Arxet was giddy with excitement. She resolved that she would have to go back to the school in two days just to see the faces on the other applicants when they all got turned away at the gate. Pure poetry. None of them thought she belonged there, it seemed she was actually the only one who did. Well, her and that deer girl who had bonded with Brin. What was her name again… Selvi? Seevi? Sleevie? Something like that. Arxet honestly couldn’t remember.

But that was in two days, in the meantime she still had to have… the talk.

Tiamat’s Tail, Tifse might just be insufferable if she found out that it was her that helped send Arxet over the tipping point into admitting some things. How would she shut her up? Sit on her? Drop her in the pool? No, she might drown in that steel armor… not that great of a loss but probably a step too far in retaliation. She could buy a muzzle? But how would she go to the shop for one without Tifse there to handle the talking and the money?

“You’re really overthinking this, Arxet.” A voice came from behind her.

“TIAMAT’S TAIL WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!” She leapt into the air and spun around using her wings to land at the ready to face whoever had snuck up on her- “Oh, hey Idami. I didn’t think I’d see you so soon?”

Idami swapped to mental communication before responding. “Yeah, well, somebody let it slip that mom’s having another kid, and now every dragon and their mother wants to get to know me, so I was coming back to your place to hide.” She patted her niece on the snout. “Having trouble admitting you’re a girl?”

“You knew…?” She sagged slightly at the news. Was she slipping into thinking so openly yet again? Wait- someone let it slip that Tiamat was having a kid? Oooohhh… oh that was her wasn’t it.

“Everybody knew about you being a girl, sorry.” She hugged Arxet’s neck before grabbing the dragon’s spines to lift herself off the cobblestones and onto the dragon’s back. “I only caught the tail end, saw you pacing from up the street when I passed by.” If the weasel had heard that it was Arxet’s fault she gave no sign. “Need a little help talking to everyone about it?”

“What can you really do to help? It’s the kind of thing where I’ll be doing most of the talking.” She gave Idami a minute to get settled before starting the walk back home.

“I dunno, sometimes it’s easier to just have the support I guess.” Idami kept sitting at first, but eventually seemed to get bored and stood up on Arxet’s back to lean over the back-left side of her neck to rest her arms and chin around the sides of the dragon’s head. It was a dangerous and awkward maneuver. Arxet’s spikes were sharp and easily capable of impaling someone who came at her from that angle, but once Idami was in place and past her defenses it was quite comfortable. “Hmm… is your coldmark bigger?” She traced a finger around Arxet’s brow. “I don’t remember it coming back this far before.”

“What? No, it’s a coldmark. It’s never gotten bigger before. Has yours?” She glanced up to the weasel peaking down at her from above, but without a mirror she had no way to tell.

“No, I mean- I lost a bunch of fur one time and that kinda changed the shape of it a little, but it’s never gotten bigger. Maybe I’m just imagining things.” She started to count the scales along Arxet’s brow. “It’s ten scales from front to back…”

“Well check it again later.” She shrugged her wings. “I could just be having like- I dunno, a dragon growth spurt? We’re supposed to grow fast in our first hundred years and then slow down, aren’t we?”

“Sounds right to me… I don’t know, though. In two months?” She leaned back again. “I didn’t notice at all earlier…”

“Probably nothing, seriously.” She finally reached the house again. Someone had propped the door open to the courtyard with a brick, though it was now empty. Arxet figured she must have been gone a good two or three hours, they had probably already finished with Tifse’s armor repairs earlier.

“There is no way I am repeating myself or calling a meeting over this. Whoever I meet first gets to hear it, and after that it’s good luck everybody else!” She picked up the brick in her jaws and closed the courtyard doors again by carefully hooking her tail spike through one of the iron rings installed as handles.

As she turned around to move into the courtyard further she felt her tail smack into something small and soft before she heard the sound of a heavy splash. “GAH! Would you WATCH where you’re GOING?” Tifse had somehow snuck up on her it seemed, and been knocked into the pool. Arxet couldn’t decide if it would have been funnier if it were on purpose or if the accident made it better. Either way, big win so long as she doesn’t drown.

“Don’t sneak up on a dragon, shorty. This tail is a lot harder to control than the old one.” She lowered the appendage in question into the water for the fox to grab onto. It didn’t look like she was in her armor now, so there wasn’t exactly a drowning risk, but it would probably be more humiliating to have to be helped out of the water. Probably.

“Har har.” She did her best to shake off the water soaked into her fur around her face and tail, but she was still absolutely sopping wet. “They told me I had to wait out here for you and apologize, so-”

“Don’t waste your breath. Did they go down into the tunnels?” She started walking toward the trap door.

“Is this the bitchy fox you told me about, Arxet?” Idami snickered from up top and waved to the soggy, miserable looking wretch behind her.

“Oh, so you’ve heard about me. Who the hell are you and why are you riding my dragon?” Tifse jogged to keep up, eliciting wet ‘plap plap plap’ sounds at every step as the water worked its way out of her boots.

“She’s not your dragon, bitch fox.” Idami stuck her tongue out at the soggy tag-along. “And yeah I heard about you. You’re the coldmarked twerp who likes to throw other coldmarked people to the wolves to save her own hide. I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I’d watch what I say if I were you, or you might be going for another dip.”

“I chose her as my rider so I could torment her. Granny’s gonna expel her from the church otherwise, so she’s either gotta go home to mommy and daddy or put up with my bullshit.” Arxet beamed with pride at the explanation. She truly felt she had come up with the perfect payback for Tifse, now she just needed to figure out one for the jewelry shop owner, and the baron and baroness of Nilim…

“Yeah, I could ‘go home to mommy and daddy’, and then I’d just get married off to some-” She growled in frustration at Arxet’s dismissive attitude. “-some noble who doesn’t give a shit about me and is fine with me just being used as a political pawn. Otherwise I don’t get any inheritance.”

“Must be sooooo awful to have parents who would rather set you up with a cozy arranged marriage instead of leaving you for dead.” The dragon spat back. “And you never answered my question, where’d everybody go?”

“I don’t fucking know, they told me to wait for you after their lecture, okay? Yeah, maybe they went into the tunnels!” She threw her hands up at the dragon. “I’m not even allowed inside the house or down there without your permission.

“Hmm… how about… you go piss on your mother. I’m not giving you permission for shit.” She raised the trap door with her teeth, let Idami enter first, and followed after. She made absolutely sure to turn around long enough to wink before letting the trap door slam down in front of the fox.

Once inside and Idami was out of the way Arxet bounded down the stairs to the bottom and sniffed the air in the dark below. It did seem as if both dragons and Emren were down here. Where to start… Rubis’s room was further away… and Emren and Amjazel might notice her trying to sneak past to talk to her sister, at that point it would be an ambush and she’d be stuck listening to their praise for ten minutes. Maybe she could send Idami ahead to either act as a distraction or ask Rubis to come out? No, no, this was stupid, she needed to think of-

“HEY, EVERYONE! ARXET’S BACK!” Idami had cupped her hands over her mouth before belting out an invitation for everyone in the tunnel to come out and swarm her niece.

“Idami what the hell?!” Arxet was taken aback at the sound. “I thought you were gonna help make this easier on me!”

“I am, you were going to be stuck going back and forth forever without me.” She smirked and crossed her arms. “It might also be a little bit of payback for letting it slip that I was mom’s chosen so early.”

“Why is it my fault? You literally have her red diamond on your chest!” She started back up the stairs before she heard Amjazel and Rubis emerging from their rooms, their claws clacking against the stone floor and echoing up to her.

“Is everything alright?” Amjazel quirked an eyebrow at Idami.

“Yeah, I was just about to settle in and start on another painting.” Rubis tilted her head.

“Oh, everything is fine.” Idami patted Arxet on the back. “Arxet here just had something she wanted to tell everybody!”

Amjazel’s eyes opened wide and sparkled with joy at the emphasis put on the word ‘she’. Arxet doesn’t get even a chance to get a word in to deflect before she, Rubis, and Emren all come fully out into the hall to see what’s up.

“Aheh, right. Yeahhh…” Oh she wished she could at least have her bedroom at her back to retreat to, but she’d have to charge straight through enemy forces to reach safety with how she had found herself positioned. “Yeah, I’m. Trying out being a girl. That’s all. OkI’mgoingtomyroomnowgoodnight-” She made a break for it. Maybe if she was quick she could-

“Thank you for telling us, Arxet.” Amjazel bent her neck down to place a single long lick across her daughter’s back. “This is a big decision for you. I’m glad you felt safe to share it with us. Goodnight, dear.”

“Uh- yeahh.” She tried to slip by her only to bump into Emren.

The lynx just pulled herself into a quick hug with the dragon, winked and gave a thumbs up, and stepped aside for her.

“Congrats, little sis.” Rubis just bumped her horns against Arxet’s before also letting her pass.

What the hell just happened?

Arxet couldn’t look any of them in the eye as she stalked back to her room. Was she the one who overreacted and expected them to trap her beat her into pulp with ‘congratulations’ and ‘we’re so proud of you’ and other nonsense? That was just a reasonable amount of bullshit. She could manage that level of bullshit at least.

It almost felt like they had been too casual, even though she dreaded the attention she… kinda wished she’d gotten more. It was a strange and conflicting mess of relief and longing. What the hell was she supposed to do with that?

“Fuck, am I about to invite them to hang out? Willingly? With me initiating it?” Truly, her entire sense of self was crumbling today. She felt as if she was going to be sick.

She turned and pushed her head back out the curtain and into the hall, “Hey, uh- did we have any plans for dinner? I thought… maybe we could grab some? That one tavern by the ministry is pretty. Uh. Pretty good. Could bring Idami along too, invite Tiamat…”

Amjazel’s head snaked back out from behind her own curtain. “I would be happy to, dear! Just let me get changed into my mortal form and spruce up a little.”

“Yeah, sure, I can always pick this up later.” Rubis emerged from her room as well, already back in her lynx form. “Want me to put your jewelry on too, sis?”

It still felt weird being called sis, and not just because she was unused to feminine terms, but because who the hell just said ‘sis’ in conversation? She got that Rubis was trying to be supportive but come on! “Yeah, sure, I left them in here last time. Go grab Tifse too, she should learn how to do this.”

“Got it, I’ll have her in here in a minute.” She moved towards the stairs and Arxet withdrew back into her room.

“I seriously just… spontaneously suggested family time, didn’t I?” She was at a loss. Was she seriously… starting to bond with these people?

“Guess I got through to ya, eh?” Idami slipped past the curtain. “See? I did help! That went great, you had nothing to worry about.”

“I’m not letting you have this one. That was mortifying. Consider your revenge complete.” Arxet puffed out from her nose and went to get her jewelry.

“Aw come on, I thought that I finally managed to reign them in.” Rubis strolled into the space with a now dry but ludicrously fuzzy Tifse. “Had to use a spell to dry her fur, I still haven’t figured out how to do it without… this.” She gestured all around the fox. “But she won’t trail water in now at least.”

“Wait, what do you mean about reigning them in?” Arxet could barely hold back the laughter as she saw her rider trip over herself coming through the door. She looked absolutely ridiculous.

“It was clear as day that you didn’t like all the attention. It put you on edge, soooo I talked to them. I got them to realize that… what worked well for me when I was in your shoes doesn’t work so well for everyone else.” She reached up and stroked Arxet’s neck. “And see? They finally backed down a little, they just want you to feel comfortable here.”

“Yeah… uh- thanks. Seriously.” She drooped and breathed a sigh of relief. “It kinda freaked me out in the opposite direction when they didn’t smother me with love, but this is better. Much, much better.”

“Hey, glad to hear it. Also, did grangran finally win you over to tongue baths? Think you’ll join in with mom and I next time?” She started picking up rings and chains and affixing them to Arxet’s horns and spines.

“Wh- how could you tell??” She shot back up to attention again. “Who said something? Of course I know who it was, it-”

“Woah, woah, hey. Calm down, girl.” She roared with laughter and leaned against her little sister. “No one said anything, you just have an aroma, like grangran scent-marked you. Remember, dragon saliva’s how we mark things.”

“Is that why I keep wanting to put my gems in my mouth?” She relaxed again and pushed Rubis off of her playfully. “Yeah, fine. Granny introduced me to how great a tongue bath can be, so what?”

“No ‘so what’ required, girl. Just glad you’re letting yourself try new things.” The lynx-dragon continued showing Tifse how to affix each ring in place and where to hang the chains. The fox begrudgingly watched and followed instructions. She had little choice. “And no, putting your gems in your mouth is just a creative little you thing, you little weirdo. Love you.”

“Ha ha ha. Yeah whatever, love you too.” Ah. Shit. There was no taking those words back, was there?