Chapter 48: The Scent of Truth
James
Two months have passed since I became a hollow version of myself. Two months since Trishelle rejected me and the pack, departing with another male. At first, I drowned the nights in whiskey, the burn the only sensation that could dull the ache in my chest. Then I sought solace in the arms of every she-wolf I could find, their bodies a desperate, failed attempt to erase her from my memory. The encounters left me feeling emptier than before, each one a reminder that none of them were her. When that brought no relief, I ran rampant in the human realm, seducing anyone who bore even the slightest resemblance to Trishelle. Of course, no copy could replace the original. I should have known better than to try.
My wolf was thoroughly disgusted with me and shut me out completely. The silence in my mind was deafening, a void where his presence had always been. Even shifting became painful, my muscles screaming in protest as my wolf refused to cooperate. Lower-ranking warriors handed me my ass in training spars, and everyone recoiled from my behavior. The shame of it burned, but not enough to make me change. They couldn’t understand how ’Trash’ leaving could devastate me so completely. How could they? I’d spent years treating her exactly as her nickname suggested.
Many of Bloodmoon’s members even joked, saying, "It was time to take out the Trash," or "Alpha Bradley was just a ’Trash’ collector." Each comment was a knife to my gut, though I knew I deserved far worse. They soon learned not to make those comments in my presence as I would descend into a black, mindless fury that left furniture shattered and warriors cowering. The violence was the only outlet I had for the self-loathing that consumed me. Now all I do is wallow in my room or my office, refusing to eat and drinking my time away. I rarely shower and haven’t shaved in weeks. The man in the mirror is unrecognizable, but then again, I don’t deserve to recognize myself. Most just avoid me, only bringing more alcohol whenever I bellow for it. I even replaced the lock on Trishelle’s door and ordered that no one should enter. The room has become a shrine to my failures, a testament to everything I destroyed. Yet there are times during the night when a few omegas have seen me sneaking into her room and curling up on her bed, crying like a pup. I bury my face in her pillow, searching for any lingering trace of her scent, pathetically hoping it might bring me some measure of peace.
James
It was just another blurry day, the mountain of paperwork on my desk a monument to my neglect, when suddenly my wolf began to pace in my mind. The heavy thud of his paws felt strange after his bout of silence, almost foreign yet achingly familiar. I tried to reach out, just noticing how much I actually missed my other half, but all I got were grunts and "something’s up." The cryptic response frustrated me, but I was grateful for any communication at all. I tried to pry further, but my wolf just blocked the connection again. However, this time I could feel him in my mind, a solid, warm presence, and that brought the first smile to my face in a long time. It was a small thing, barely a curve of my lips, but it felt monumental after weeks of numbness.
This trend carried on for a few days. Since my wolf was back, so was my appetite, and soon I began to eat even more than usual. The pack chef looked relieved when I actually finished my meals instead of pushing them away untouched. I noticed, though, that I was getting indigestion, and a glass of orange juice first thing in the morning usually settled my stomach. The acidic sweetness became a ritual I looked forward to. I really had a hankering for strawberries these days, and one time, I almost threw a fit because they made chocolate chip pancakes instead of strawberry ones. The irrational anger surprised even me, a flash of emotion so intense it left me shaken. Thankfully, there were fresh strawberries that I simply ate plain, thus avoiding a huge disaster that day. I must have consumed three bowls before I felt satisfied.
Thanks to all these changes, my productivity skyrocketed. I was able to complete the work I had put off for weeks in just a few days. The clarity of mind was startling after so long in a fog. All I needed were strawberry treats to munch on, and the paperwork practically completed itself. Soon, I was up to date and even got back into fighting shape. My muscles remembered their strength, and I pushed myself harder than I had in months. Richard was glad to see my improvements and decided to visit me in my office later today. I could sense his cautious optimism through the pack bond.
Richard
First, I noticed that the office was in order. The stacks of paper were gone, the desk was clean, and the windows had been opened to air out the staleness. Secondly, James was showered and shaved, his hair neatly combed back. I was relieved since I had stayed away unless absolutely needed, due to his poor hygiene. The smell had been offensive, a mixture of alcohol, sweat, and despair that clung to everything.
I found him staring at his phone, his expression unreadable, which he quickly pocketed upon my entry. "Hey Alpha," I said, trying to sound casual despite my curiosity about what had captured his attention so completely. "I wondered if you’re down for visiting the bar tonight? Some of those girls keep asking for you. They said that you rocked their world and they can’t stop thinking about you." I kept my tone light, testing the waters to see where his head was at.
James scowled at that, and I saw a flicker of something else in his eyes - disgust, perhaps, or regret. Inwardly, he was probably cursing his past self for the trail of broken hearts and empty encounters he’d left behind. Just the thought of anyone else made his stomach turn violently, and he quickly linked someone to bring him a glass of orange juice. The nausea rose swift and sharp, threatening to embarrass him in front of his Beta.
He just shook his head, afraid that if he opened his mouth, he’d reveal just how repulsed he felt about that idea. The words might come out as bile. Soon his juice arrived, and he chugged it down, the cool liquid soothing the churning in his gut. Maybe he should invest in a mini-fridge and have some stocked in his office for times like this, he thought absently.
Inhaling deeply to steady himself, James turned to me and firmly stated, "I have no intention of visiting those kinds of places or doing those kinds of things. I now understand why some choose to wait for their mate, and from now on, that’s what I’ll do." His voice carried a conviction I hadn’t heard in months, a determination that seemed to come from somewhere deep within. "I hope that you can share that with the pack." With that, he turned and looked out the window, his shoulders set in a way that brooked no argument, leaving me no other choice but to leave.
James
Hearing the door close, I returned to my desk and took out my phone again, my fingers trembling slightly as I unlocked it. A few weeks ago, I found a picture of Trishelle on Richard’s Stargam account. She was smiling in it, genuinely happy in a way I’d never managed to make her. I downloaded it, and whenever I had the chance, I looked at it, studying every detail of her face as if I might find forgiveness hidden in her eyes. There were many nights when I begged the photo for forgiveness, my voice breaking in the empty room, but I knew it was not forthcoming. Nothing I could say to a picture would undo the years of cruelty and neglect. My wolf jolted me out of my thoughts by finally talking to me, his voice clearer than it had been in weeks.
"We should go for a run tonight."
I jumped at the suggestion, nearly dropping my phone in surprise. I’d all but given up on shifting unless absolutely necessary, the pain of our disconnect making it unbearable. "What brought this on?" Maybe my wolf was feeling restless, or maybe he wanted to burn off the very few pounds he seemed to have gained in his gut. The slight weight gain was unusual for us, our metabolism typically burning through calories at an accelerated rate.
"There’s something I want to check out. Just a feeling I keep getting." His tone was cryptic, almost secretive, which piqued my curiosity.
I shrugged but agreed, relief flooding through me at the prospect of truly connecting with my wolf again. It would be good to get some exercise, to feel the earth beneath our paws and the wind in our fur.
James
There was no moon that night when I shifted and began running through the forest, the transformation smoother than it had been in weeks. I decided to sit back and let my wolf take the lead, trusting his instincts in a way I hadn’t allowed myself to do recently. Things were going well as we soon came upon a rabbit and had a lovely time hunting and enjoying the spoils of it. The chase felt good, primal and uncomplicated. Yet it didn’t take long for me to realize that we were now heading in the direction of Goldmoon’s borders. My wolf sniffed around before finding a spot where we could slip in with little to no trace that we were there. The ease with which he found the weak point suggested he’d been planning this.
I frowned since I worried that this could endanger Trishelle. If we were caught on Alpha Bradley’s territory, it could be seen as an act of aggression, potentially putting her in the middle of pack politics. My mind was telling me to turn around, screaming at me that this was reckless and selfish, yet my heart couldn’t resist the chance, no matter how slim, to catch even a glimpse of her. The longing overrode every rational thought.
We stayed well within the trees, ensuring to remain downwind so our scent wouldn’t alert the patrols. I guessed because we came in from my side of the woods, there were fewer guards, and the other sides were open to rogue attacks. It made sense, and I could not be angry that Trishelle had a mate like that - one who was strategic and protective. My wolf stopped behind a large oak tree and looked up at a lit window, his entire body going still with anticipation. I knew that it was Trishelle’s room, and I waited with bated breath, praying that I could see her. My heart hammered against my ribs so hard I thought it might break through.
"It seemed that my prayers were answered," I thought, as she came to the window and opened it, as it was a bit warmer than usual. The sight of her stole the breath from my lungs. She looked different somehow - there was a glow about her, a softness that hadn’t been there before.
My wolf and I simply sat there, inhaling the faint fragrance that I missed so much it was a physical pain in my chest. The scent wrapped around us like a memory, sweet and devastating. Immediately, I sensed that it had changed slightly, something new woven into the familiar notes, and my wolf jolted at the realization. His entire body went rigid, every sense focused on that subtle difference. Without a word, my wolf turned and raced back to our pack, his heart pounding with a frantic rhythm I could feel in my own chest. The trees blurred past us as we ran faster than we ever had before.
I reached out to find the reason for his retreat, confusion and concern flooding through our bond, and what he said shocked me to the core. The words echoed in my mind, impossible and yet undeniably true.
"She’s carrying a pup. Trishelle is having our child."
The world tilted on its axis. Everything I thought I knew, everything I’d lost, suddenly became infinitely more complicated. A child. Our child. The magnitude of it crashed over me in waves - joy, terror, regret, and a fierce protective instinct I’d never experienced before. What had I done? What did this mean? The questions spiraled through my mind as we ran, but one thing was certain: everything had just changed.