Chapter 89: DODJ OR DaAR
POV Rio
"Okay, I shall go first," I say while rolling the dice.
I get a three and draw a daar card.
"Ugh... I regret everything," I say aloud.
"What would you get?" Tony asks.
"Spain but without the A," I say with disappointment.
"Spin?" Lucy asks.
I start spinning like a Beyblade, and I can't stop until it's my turn again.
POV Shift Tony
"Oh, okay, my turn," Lara says with growing suspicion.
She rolls a 5 and draws her daar card.
"Wear clothes made of your own hair," Lara says aloud.
"I don't know if that is sexy or gross," I say with an honestly conflicted tone.
"I'm not doing that," Lara says confidently.
She picks a dodj card.
"Survive five nights at Freddy's," Lara reads aloud.
Pop
POV Shift Lara
My vision changes, and I am suddenly in a rundown security office. Before I could even think about what this place was, the phone started ringing. I admit it made me jump a bit, but before I could think of what to do, the call connected.
"Hello? Hello hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week, okay?" The recording starts.
"First week?" I ask aloud.
"Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company, that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, 'Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.' Blah blah blah," the recording continues.
'Wait, what?'
"Now that might sound bad, I know. But there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night, too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay," the record continues as I look at the cameras to see what these animatronics look like.
'I never liked animatronics. Just too uncanny.'
"So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free-roaming mode at night, uh, something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long? Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?" the recording says ominously.
"Uh, now concerning your safety. The only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won't recognise you as a person. They'll pr-They'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now, since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to…forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices. Especially around the facial area. So you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort, and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask. Heh. Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up," the recording says, and I dearly hope they are joking.
"But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night," the recording ends, and I suddenly feel a deep and forboding fear.
'Well, nothing to it but to do it.'
I just had to try and not think about the visits to see those animatronics when I was a kid. Or how they scared me until I was nearly 10.
'Nope. I'll be fine. I'm just trapped in a restaurant with killer animatronics. What could possibly go wrong?'
"Sigh. Rio, you will pay for this," I swear.
POV Shift Tony
Lara pops out of existence.
"AHHHH!" I scream in a definitely manly way and not girly at all.
Even the spectators look shocked.
"Wh-What just happened?!" Selene says while looking around.
"IIIIIIII WWWWWWAAAAARRRRRNNNNEEEEDDD YYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUU!" Rio says while spinning.
I gulp and roll the dice, as it was now my turn.
"Throw a ball to the moon using only objects from the trash. No hands," I read aloud.
At first, I thought I had read the card wrong, but once I really thought about it, I started thinking about what I could do to pull this off.
"I'll be back," I say before running to the trash to see if I can pull this off.
POV Shift Selene
After Tony left, it was my turn, and despite my best efforts, I was fearing again.
I roll the dice and get a six, and draw a daar card.
"Date a sheep?" I ask with confusion.
Before I can think more, I find myself in a fancy restaurant sitting across from a sheep. Not an anthro sheep, but like a normal sheep.
"Uh, I'll get the um, sheep, I mean ram, I mean chicken," I fumble over my words as I try to think what the hell I was supposed to do.
POV Shift Lucy
After Selene disappeared, I knew it was my turn.
I roll the dice and get a five before grabbing a daar card.
"Juggle 1000-degree knives," I say aloud.
'Huh? That's easy.'
I accomplish the task swiftly and wait for Rio to go. Instead, the dice roll on their own and land on two, and a daar card is drawn; it is discarded, and a dodj card is taken.
"RGS," says a disembodied voice.
I look around in confusion, as I had never heard that voice before. Before I can say anything, a large anthro wolf with a skull for a head appears out of nowhere, and I nearly jump in fright.
"Huh? You can see me?" the creature says.
I nod.
"I like this game," says the creature.
Before I can say anything, I hear profuse vomiting and turn to see Rio retching up his lunch.
"Ugh, that was not fun," Rio says with vomit-covered lips.
Seconds later, he is cleaned up, and I see magic flowing from his wand.
"Oh, you got RGS, huh? Good for you," Rio comments.
"What's RGS? And who is that?" I ask.
"RGS stands for Reverse Ghost Syndrome. You become permanently tangible, lose any form of supernatural ability, and regain any lost sensations you didn't have before. And she's Mal0, the pest that usually doesn't wear clothes. Oh, and there go the clothes," Rio comments dryly.
I turn to look at Mal0 as she desperately tries to cover herself as her clothes stop existing.
"Her clothing is supernaturally created, so they can't exist anymore," Rio adds.
I quickly reach into my room from across the manor and drag some clothes and force them into her hands.
"Clothes. Now," I demand.
Mal0 meekly nods and runs to a nearby bathroom to change.
"Okay, my turn," Rio comments.
"How used to this are you?" I ask.
"Since I've met Mal0, she's been wearing clothes less than 10% of that time. And she's not afraid to show everything. Well... Until now, I guess," Rio says with a shrug.
"Oh..." I say quietly.
"Yeah," Rio says with a nod.
Rio rolls the dice and gets a six and draws his daar card.
"Well, you're gonna get a real show now," Rio says while taking off his clothes.
"What?" I ask.
"Lick yourself clean," Rio says with a smirk.
I blush a deep crimson and start breathing heavily as he goes to lick himself. Only to fall over when he suddenly turns into a hairless cat to do the daar.
"Damn it!" I hear someone scream from a distance.
I turn to the sound and see Mal0, who pretends to look behind her as well.
"Perverts!" Rio shouts.
I ignore him and wait for the next person to go.
Pop
Lara pops back into existence.
Lara was pale as a ghost and was breathing heavily.
"Uh, you okay?" Rio asks.
"The power ran out. And I hear music. That damn song. I felt like I had heard it before. Then the laughing. I thought it was the end," Lara says quietly.
"There, there," Rio says while giving her a little pat on the back with his tiny kitty paw.
It takes a bit, but eventually Lara recovers and rolls the dice again. She gets a six and draws her card.
"Sigh. Thank goodness," Lara says with a relieved sigh.
Rio nods, and I take a peek.
Order A Prank Pizza.
It was around the time that she finished ordering the pizza that Tony came back. He was covered in soot.
"Turns out getting a ball to the moon without hands using trash is much harder than you might think," Tony says while taking a seat.
As he sits, he sees Mal0 and then looks away, only to do a double-take and scream.
"AHHHH! Monster!" Tony screams.
Smack
Rio smacks Tony while casting a spell to clean him up.
"That's rude," Rio complains.
"What?" Tony says with confusion.
Rio explains the situation, and Tony adapts really quickly. Once he calms down and catches up, he rolls the dice and draws his daar card.
"Drive Thru?" Tony asks.
"Oh, that's an interesting one," Rio comments with a smile.
A moment later, we are all in a car in a drive-thru.
'What the?'
Everyone but Rio seems just as confused as me.
"Can I take your order, please?" the intercom asks.
"Yeah, I'll have a number nine," Rio says calmly.
"Uh, same, I guess," I comment, unsure.
"I'll have two numbers nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two numbers forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large soda," Tony orders.
As he is doing so, everyone but Rio looks at him with confusion and shock. But that gets thrown out seconds later with Mal0's order, which is three times the size of Tony's, as she gets every variation she could get.
"What? I never get to eat unless it's Mrs Claus's food. I want to try some fast food," Mal0 says innocently.
Nobody argues until it comes time to pay, and Rio reluctantly pays for everyone. Once we get our food, we appear back in Rio's home with our food.
It was at this point that the real challenge became obvious. Tony has to eat all the food he ordered. All of it. In one sitting.
Selene reappears and looks frazzled with blood and wool all over her.
"Don't ask," Selene says sternly.
Everyone wisely doesn't say anything, and she rolls the dice and takes a card.
"Dodj," she says calmly before taking a dodj card.
"You're haunted by a dead clown who tells you things about his life that nobody wants to know until the game ends," Selene reads aloud before sighing.
POV Shift Selene
"You know I had chlamydia," says the voice of a clown.
"Who the hell starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!" I yell at the clown.
"AHAHA! Wanna hear a joke?" the clown asks.
"No, " I answer calmly.
"Oh, you kidder you! I went to my dentist the other day, and they said: Chuckles! Your teeth are falling out!' I said: But how? I floss every day! They said: What kind of floss are you using? I said: Candy Floss!" Chuckles jokes.
"Ugh," I grimace.
POV Shift Rio
After Selene goes, it's Lucy's turn, and she rolls a five and draws a daar card. I suddenly shiver as she gets a very perverted look and looks at me. She starts doing the Kazuma hands. I run.
"Give the person to your left a massage," Mal0 reads aloud with a blush.
"Get 'em! Get 'em!" Tony cheers.
"My money's on the big one," Helen jokes.
POV Shift Mal0
I quickly start my turn so I don't miss the show. But then I realise that I couldn't peep... I mean, accidentally walk in on anything since I am not incorporeal anymore.
'No! It should have been me! Not her! It's not fair!'
I pound the ground in regret and draw the daar card.
"Star Spangled Man?" I say aloud.
Suddenly, the room fades away, and we are on stage in a very revealing outfit. Everyone was dragged in.
'Is it gay if I think Rio looks good as a bunny girl? Or maybe it's bisexual? Lesbian?'
I don't get to ponder that much longer as the music starts playing and we start singing as Steve Rogers suddenly appears with a very confused look.
(AN: You can play Star Spangled Man With A Plan - Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Movie CLIP HD on YouTube for a visual if you want. There's probably an instrumental somewhere else. )
"Who's strong and brave here to save the American way?" we sing.
"Not all of us can storm a beach or drive a tank, but there's still a way that all of us can fight," Steve says as if on autopilot.
"Who vows to fight like a man for what's right, night and day?"
"Series E defence bonds, each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy's gun!" Steve shouts with strength.
"Who will campaign door to door for America?
Carry the flag shore to shore for America?
From Hoboken to Spokane?
The Star Spangled Man with a plan!"
~~~~~~~~~
Despite Rio's best attempts to distract me, I kept singing as required.
~~~~~~~~~
"We can't ignore there's a threat and a war we must win!
Who'll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?
Who will indeed lead the call for America? (Who?)
Who'll rise or fall, give his all, for America? (Who?)
Who's here to prove that we can?
The Star Spangled Man with a plan!"
"We all know this is about trying to win the war. But we can't do that, bullets and bandages, tanks and tents. That's where you come in. Every bond you buy will help protect someone you love. Keep our boys armed and ready, and the Germans will think twice about trying to get the drop on us," Steve says confidently before acting out a punch against someone dressed up as Adolf Hitler.
"Stalwart and steady and true!
(See how this guy can shoot! We tell you, there's no substitute!)
Forceful and ready to defend the red, white, and blue!
Who'll give the Axis the sack and is smart as a fox?
(Sure as an Eagle will soar)
Who's making Adolf afraid to step out of his box?
(He knows what we're fighting for)
Who waked the giant that napped in America?
We know it's no one but Captain America!
Who'll finish what they began?
Who'll kick the Krauts to Japan?
The Star Spangled Man with a plan!
(Who's strong and brave here to save the American way?)"
As the singing stops, several model tanks are pushed out and start shooting confetti and fireworks. Only as the cheering dies down and the curtains fall over us do we appear back in Rio's home. This time with a new person.
"What just happened?" Steve asks while looking around at us.
"It's a long story. Sort of," Rio says while still in his bunny girl outfit.
I lick my lips.
"Pervert!" Rio yells as everyone is staring at him with improper eyes.
"Is it gay that I think he looks good?" Tony asks Lara.
"No," Lara answers simply, and everyone nods along, even Steve and John.
"I'm surrounded by perverts!" Rio shouts.
"What are you insinuating, Rio?" Lucy asks something dangerous.
Rio looks ready to run.
"I'm not a pervert, I'm just a Diclonis," Lucy says calmly.
----------------
Author's Note:
A bit of a fun chapter that honestly just came out of nowhere, as I didn't plan this, but the inspiration came, and I couldn't leave it be. I won't end the game; you can imagine how it ends yourself. This is also a much longer chapter than usual, by about 1k words. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Also, remember that Rio looks very androgynous and a bit ethereal, so with the right makeup and outfits, he can look very feminine or masculine. That and he looks very conventionally attractive, so that's why Tony reacted like that. Don't take it too seriously. Until next time, Ciao.