Chapter 42. Cold Resolve
From Ren’s point of view
Fast music was blasting in the car.
The bass hit the interior so hard that the rear-view mirror was vibrating.
Streetlights blurred past the windows.
One.
Two.
Three.
I finished the last of the whiskey and tossed the empty bottle onto the passenger-side floor mat.
Second one of the evening.
A bitter aftertaste lingered in my mouth.
But my mood was simply excellent.
The pain was gone.
Completely.
As if it had never existed at all.
«Much better this way.»
Alcohol used to help before too.
Back when I still lived in the slums.
When the neighbors screamed around the clock through the thin walls.
When I had to fall asleep to the sounds of a fight in the next room and wake up from the cold because the heating had been shut off again.
Back then it was enough to find anything strong.
A few swallows.
And the world became softer.
Quieter.
Stopped biting.
— Hey.
I turned my head.
Ren was sitting in the passenger seat.
The same one.
The owner of this body.
The main bastard of the original story.
Although the difference between us was becoming less and less noticeable.
Drake.
Ren.
Two names.
One memory.
One body.
One head that was gradually turning into a cramped cage for two.
He was lounging lazily in the seat and looking at me with dissatisfaction.
— How much longer are you planning to drink yourself to death?
I laughed.
— Funny hearing that from you.
He frowned.
— I’m serious.
— No — I shook my head. — Not completely.
— You’re still too much of a softie for me to fully accept you.
His face twitched.
— Softie?
— Of course.
I raised the bottle to my mouth again.
And only then remembered it was already empty.
— Tell me your genius plan one more time.
— Which one?
— The one about rape.
He looked away.
I laughed loudly.
— Come on, don’t be shy!
— Explain to me how that was supposed to work, you fucking idiot.
The music kept blasting.
The speedometer needle slowly crawled upward.
— This novel has triggers — I continued. — One wrong step and we get the same ending as the original Ren.
— Prison.
— And not a single heroine.
He irritably scratched the back of his head.
— I know that!
— Then why did you suggest it?
— Because otherwise she won’t choose you!
Desperation sounded in his voice.
— You needed to make her dependent on you!
— So she couldn’t leave!
I gripped the steering wheel tighter.
— Genius.
— Simply magnificent.
He didn’t notice the sarcasm.
Or didn’t want to notice.
— At least then her body wouldn’t be able to live without you.
The smile disappeared from my face.
I slammed the gas pedal hard.
The engine roared.
The car shot forward.
The speedometer needle almost hit the end of the scale.
The streetlights turned into continuous streaks of light.
Alcohol boiled in my blood together with adrenaline.
My heart was pounding fast.
Cheerfully.
Almost happily.
— Ren, for fuck’s sake!
I looked at him.
— I don’t want to go to prison!
— And I need all the heroines!
I laughed.
— Meaning me.
His eyes widened.
— Watch the road.
— What?
— THE ROAD!
I looked forward again.
A turn.
Too close.
Too sharp.
I hit the brakes.
The tires screeched.
The rear of the car instantly swung sideways.
The world behind the windshield spun.
Guardrail.
Road.
Black sky.
Guardrail again.
The steering wheel jerked in my hands.
I spun it the opposite way.
The car spun even harder.
The right wheel left the asphalt for a moment.
Gravel crunched under it.
The body tilted dangerously.
Less than a meter to the concrete barrier.
Then half a meter.
Almost nothing.
I yanked the handbrake, released the brake and hit the gas again.
The wheels finally caught traction.
The car was thrown back onto the lane.
It slid sideways for several more dozen meters.
Then stopped across the road.
The engine kept running.
The music was still screaming.
But somehow it became completely quiet inside the cabin.
I was breathing heavily.
My hands were shaking.
Not from fear.
From excitement.
I slowly turned my head.
Ren was sitting next to me.
Clutching the edge of the seat with his fingers.
Genuine surprise was frozen on his face.
— You…
I unbuckled the seatbelt.
— Me?
He recoiled.
Too late.
I lunged at him across the center console and grabbed his neck with both hands.
My fingers closed.
There was no real flesh under them.
Only something cold.
Viscous.
Like fog that had accidentally been given a human form.
— Get back inside, you bastard!
His eyes widened.
— Let go!
— You are me!
I squeezed harder.
His face began to blur.
The features trembled.
The skin covered with black cracks.
Thin dark threads stretched out of them.
They wrapped around my fingers.
My wrists.
Climbed higher up my arms.
— No!
He tried to push me away.
But his palms passed through my chest.
Something inside my head jerked painfully.
Foreign memories flashed before my eyes.
All his desires.
All his fears.
All the malice he had hidden for years under arrogance.
It poured into me at once.
Thick.
Hot.
Disgusting.
I groaned and pressed him harder into the seat.
— Stop resisting!
— I don’t want to disappear!
— You’ve already disappeared!
The black threads reached my neck.
They sank under the skin.
It felt like a red-hot metal rod was being driven into my head.
I screamed.
Images of the girls flashed before my eyes.
Yuki.
Miu.
Aya.
Rin.
The desire to possess them mixed with my own thirst for victory.
His lust.
My plans.
His fear of being rejected.
My hatred of defeat.
The boundary between us began to collapse.
— I’m not you! — he rasped.
I looked straight into his eyes.
— You’re wrong.
His body started sinking into me.
First the arms.
Then the shoulders.
The chest.
As if I was pulling him in through my own fingers.
He kept screaming.
But the voice no longer came from the cabin.
It came from inside my head.
— Stop!
— Too late.
— I’ll help you!
— You’ve already helped.
— I know the plot!
— I know it too.
— I have desires!
I smirked.
— Now they’re mine.
His face disappeared last.
For a moment only two frightened eyes remained in front of me.
Then they dissolved as well.
The passenger seat was empty.
I slowly lowered my hands.
Silence.
Real silence.
For the first time since I appeared in this world, there was no second voice in my head.
I leaned back against the driver’s seat.
Closed my eyes.
The memories continued to mix.
His childhood was becoming mine.
My previous life was seeping into his fears.
Drake and Ren collided, broke, and fused into something new.
Not him.
And not me.
Someone third.
Someone stronger.
I opened my eyes and looked into the rear-view mirror.
A familiar face looked back at me from the reflection.
But the gaze had changed.
It became deeper.
Colder.
More complete.
I slowly smiled.
— Finally.
No one answered in my head.
And yet somewhere very deep I still felt him.
Not a voice.
Not a personality.
Just a set of desires and instincts that now belonged to me.
I turned off the music.
It became quiet in the cabin.
An empty night road lay outside the windows.
And for the first time I clearly understood one simple thing.
The previous Ren no longer existed.
But neither did Drake.
Only I remained.
I parked the car in a dark alley.
The music died.
There were no passers-by or cameras around.
Only an inconspicuous door without a sign.
I got out of the car and entered the corruption shop.
Dull red light greeted me inside.
The smell of leather.
Latex.
Cold metal.
There was no one behind the counter.
No salespeople.
No security.
Everything here worked on a self-service principle.
You take what you need.
Pay through the terminal.
And leave.
No one asks questions.
No one remembers faces.
I slowly walked between the rows.
Some of the goods were familiar from the memories of the previous Ren.
The teacher I had sent to prison after the story with Aya used to come here.
Participants of underground fights used to drop by.
The photographer who worked with Yuki.
And several other minor antagonists of the original story.
They all bought equipment here for their dirty schemes.
Now I had come.
But already with my own plan.
I didn’t choose one item at a time.
I took everything that could be useful for the future basement and closed studio.
Furniture.
Mounting systems.
Lighting.
Cameras.
Soundproofing.
Various props.
Consumables.
Protective equipment.
Everything that allowed me to completely transform a room for the needed scenario.
The carts filled up quickly.
One replaced another.
Then a third.
At some point I even stopped looking at the price tags.
Money no longer mattered.
I needed possibilities.
And this shop sold exactly those.
I approached the terminal.
An impressive sum appeared on the screen.
I calmly pressed the card.
Payment approved.
A few minutes later the service door opened.
Several loaders in black masks silently began carrying out boxes.
No greetings.
No questions.
They loaded the purchases into the car and a separate van, after which they disappeared just as silently back inside the shop.
I sat behind the wheel.
Started the engine.
And looked into the rear-view mirror.
The red sign gradually disappeared into the darkness.
The basement was waiting for an upgrade.
And I had to decide what exactly this place would become.
A studio.
A training hall.
Or a stage for the next stage of my plan.
I was driving the car at top speed again.
The engine roared.
The streetlights outside the windows stretched into long streaks of light.
After the merger it had become unusually quiet in my head.
No foreign advice.
No arguments.
No second voice.
Only me.
The phone beeped briefly again.
Then again.
And again.
I exhaled irritably, holding the steering wheel with one hand and reaching for the screen with the other.
«What now..?»
Our group chat opened.
The first thing was a photo from training.
Hayato was standing in boxing gloves.
His hair was wet.
His T-shirt was sticking to his body.
Satomi was in front of him.
She was holding his elbow and adjusting the position of his fist.
Her cheeks were noticeably red.
Even in the photo you could see the expression with which she was looking at him.
«Lovestruck idiot.»
Miu was standing next to them.
Arms crossed over her chest.
A strained smile on her face.
But her gaze spoke for itself.
She was jealous.
And she wasn’t even trying to hide it properly.
Next photo.
They were already sitting in a restaurant.
Satomi opposite Hayato.
Miu next to him.
The table was full of food.
All three were smiling as if they had spent a perfect evening.
I scrolled further.
A separate tab.
Aya.
She had sent a photo of a satisfied Hayato.
In front of him stood a plate with a dish made from my recipe.
Bought with my money.
Aya was sitting next to him and smiling so proudly, as if she herself had just won an international cooking contest.
In the next shot she was bringing a spoon almost to his mouth.
Hayato was laughing embarrassedly.
She looked happy.
He did too.
I squeezed the phone harder.
The plastic of the case quietly cracked.
Just a few minutes ago my mood had been excellent.
Now a heavy, viscous anger rose inside me again.
I helped them.
Gave advice.
Created opportunities.
Paid.
Pushed them forward.
And as a result each of them was spending time with him.
Satomi was training him.
Miu was tagging along.
Aya was feeding him dinner on my money.
And they were all happily posting it in the group chat.
As if deliberately showing me the result of my work.
I threw the phone onto the passenger seat.
— Wonderful…
The car entered another turn.
I didn’t even slow down.
The tires screeched briefly.
The steering wheel jerked in my hands.
Yuki’s face floated before my eyes.
Her confident gaze.
Her words.
“I want to confess to Hayato-kun.”
“And kiss him.”
I smirked.
There was no amusement in that smirk.
— And tomorrow Yuki will confess to him as well…
My fingers clenched the steering wheel harder.
— And kiss him.
It became quiet in the cabin again.
Even the music no longer helped.
Each of them was gradually getting closer to Hayato.
And I had helped almost every one of them.
I myself created the events.
I myself paved the way for them.
I myself handed him the heroines one after another.
«What a kind guy I am.»
I felt a smile appear on my face.
Cold.
Unpleasant.
I was sitting in the car, staring into the darkness beyond the windshield.
Looks like it’s time to break Yuki. And save her.
But I won’t let that kiss with Hayato go so easily.
Hayato will pay dearly for that pleasant fleeting moment…
I’ll force that ungrateful bitch Yuki to kiss every centimeter of my body. Slowly. With her tongue. With wet lips. And then I’ll film all of it and send it to that bastard. Let him watch how the one he considers his is licking me with pleasure.
— Quiet, don’t get angry… I do love Yuki, and she loves me too… she just doesn’t understand it yet.
I couldn’t hold back and laughed viciously. Loudly. Cruelly. Completely differently from how I usually laughed.
— When I wreck her little pussy, she’ll understand everything.
The laughter turned into a low, guttural growl. I squeezed the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white.
I’ll make her scream my name so that she forgets even what his name is.
I shifted into gear and hit the gas hard.
The car shot forward.
Yuki will soon learn who her real master is.
And Hayato…
He will pay for every moment he dared to steal from me.
Morning didn’t start with a run.
And not even with breakfast.
I was lying on the bed, scrolling through the footage from the night drive.
The roar of the engine.
The light of the headlights.
The turns.
The car skidding sideways.
A few frames where the speedometer needle was getting too close to the limit.
I quickly put together a cut.
Removed everything unnecessary.
Left only the most impressive moments.
Fast transitions.
Music.
Close-ups of hands on the wheel.
Tire slides.
The light from the streetlights cutting through the dark highway.
It turned out beautiful.
Even too beautiful.
I added a caption:
Of course, the filming took place exclusively on a specially authorized section of the road. Didn’t interfere with anyone. All dangerous moments are the work of editing. Do not repeat.
I watched it one more time.
And smirked.
Thanks to the editing it was almost impossible to prove exactly where everything was filmed.
No license plates visible.
No familiar landmarks.
The speed can be written off as effects.
And the slides as a closed track.
Perfect.
I hit the publish button.
The video almost immediately started gaining views.
The first comments appeared before I even managed to put the phone down.
Is this even legal?
Kurosaki has completely lost it.
What’s the track called?
Does he really drive like that?
Closed track, of course. Sure we believe that.
I liked the last comment.
Then got up from the bed.
I could skip the run today.
After the night drive my head was working surprisingly clearly.
The alcohol had almost completely worn off.
The pain too.
Only a new calm remained.
Cold.
Very convenient.
I quickly took a shower.
Had a hearty breakfast.
Then put on my uniform and headed to school earlier than usual.
Today I didn’t need company.
Or even lessons.
I needed three girls.
Delinquents.
Loud.
Arrogant.
Too confident that everything was allowed to them.
They were usually seen near the old sports building.
There they smoked, skipped classes and entertained themselves by picking on younger students.
But they themselves almost didn’t interest me.
Much more important was the guy who was constantly hanging around them.
Kento Araki.
Another minor antagonist of the original story.
Son of the owner of several nightclubs.
Fan of underground bets.
Well-placed punch.
Bad temper.
And absolute confidence in his own impunity.
In the future he was supposed to take an interest in Satomi.
First ordinary jabs.
Then persistent invitations.
Then attempts at pressure through her work and the club.
According to the original plot it all ended with a fight with Hayato.
Hayato won.
Satomi finally fell in love.
One more route closed in his favor.
I quietly smirked.
«No.»
«This time everything will be a little different.»
I needed to solve two problems at once.
First, remove Kento from Satomi’s path before he managed to turn into a real threat.
Second…
The three delinquents could be useful to me for another plan.
Too loud.
Too curious.
Too dependent on attention.
Perfect rumor spreaders.
Sometimes you don’t need to attack a person directly.
It’s enough to properly direct other people’s tongues.
I entered the school grounds before the first bell.
The courtyard was almost empty.
A few students were hurrying to the main building.
A janitor was sweeping the path.
The sound of a ball came from the gym.
I didn’t go to the lockers.
I immediately turned behind the old building.
I smelled the cigarettes before I saw them.
— I told you, he posted a video yesterday!
— It’s just editing.
— What editing? Did you see how he went sideways?
I stopped around the corner.
Three familiar voices.
Looks like I didn’t have to search long.
I stepped out from behind the building.
They were standing near the service staircase.
All three with bright makeup.
Bleached hair.
Shortened skirts.
Unbuttoned collars.
One was holding a cigarette.
The second was scrolling through her phone.
The third was the first to notice me.
— Oh.
The others turned around.
My night video was still playing on the phone screen.
I smiled.
— Good morning.
They were silent for a few seconds.
Then one of them slowly exhaled smoke.
— Kurosaki?
— In the flesh.
The girl with the phone looked at the screen.
Then back at me.
— Did you really drive like that?
I slightly tilted my head.
— Of course not.
— It’s all written in the caption.
She snorted.
— Yeah.
— On an authorized section.
— Exactly.
I took a step closer.
And only then noticed a fourth figure in the shadow of the stairs.
Kento was sitting on the railing.
Dark hair combed back.
An earring in his ear.
A bored expression on his face.
He lazily looked at me.
— What do you want?
I shifted my gaze to him.
Here’s the second bird.
— Wanted to talk.
He smirked.
— With me?
— Mostly.
I put my hands in my pockets.
— But the girls can listen too.
The three delinquents immediately exchanged interested glances.
Kento jumped down from the railing.
He was tall.
A little shorter than me.
Broad shoulders.
Moved confidently.
According to the memories of the original Ren — he really knew how to fight.
But that wasn’t enough.
— Well, talk.
I smiled.
— I heard you’re interested in the boxing club.
His gaze changed slightly.
Just a little.
But I noticed.
— And what?
— Nothing.
I shrugged.
— Just that Satomi-sensei is very busy right now.
— New students.
— Trainings.
— Extra attention is the last thing she needs.
Kento narrowed his eyes.
— Are you her boyfriend or something?
The delinquents quietly giggled.
I smiled too.
— No.
— Then why the hell are you sticking your nose in?
Now it was getting more interesting.
I took another step.
Less than a meter remained between us.
— Because you’re about to become a problem.
His smile disappeared.
— And I don’t like problems.
We stared at each other in silence for a few seconds.
The air around us seemed to grow heavier.
One of the girls nervously stubbed out her cigarette against the wall.
Kento slowly cracked his knuckles.
— Looks like you’ve started believing your own videos a little too much.