Pure Route in a Netorare School

From Yuki’s point of view

I continued waving until Rin-san’s car disappeared behind the gates.

Only then did I lower my hand.

And quietly exhaled.

«Finally she’s gone.»

The thought came so naturally that I immediately froze.

«What do you mean — finally..?»

Rin-san hadn’t done anything to me.

Almost nothing.

She had just appeared in Kurosaki-kun’s house.

In a too bold dress.

Looked at me as if I was the one who didn’t belong here.

And then left with him to the gate.

I involuntarily frowned.

Kurosaki-kun returned in about a minute.

There was still a light smile on his face.

— What’s wrong?

— Nothing.

I answered too quickly.

He looked at me more attentively.

— Are you sure?

— Of course.

I turned away and pressed the phone tighter to my chest.

«Don’t ask.»

«I’m not going to tell you anyway that this rich girl annoys me.»

We were silent for a few seconds.

Then I couldn’t hold back.

— Kurosaki-kun…

— Mm?

— What exactly were you discussing with her?

He slightly raised an eyebrow.

And for some reason smiled wider.

— Are you interested?

— No.

I answered too quickly again.

— I’m just asking.

— It concerns the shares from the company I bought.

— Oh…

The answer was completely normal.

But for some reason I didn’t feel any lighter.

I was silent for a few seconds.

Looking at him.

At that calm smile.

At how easily he had once again avoided a direct answer.

And for some reason…

I wanted to sting him a little.

Just a bit.

Just to see if anything would change on his face.

— Listen…

Kurosaki-kun shifted his gaze to me.

— Mm?

I gripped the phone tighter in my hands.

— I want to confess to Hayato-kun.

He said nothing.

So I added:

— And kiss him.

…

Now I really saw a reaction.

A very short one.

But real.

His eyes widened slightly.

Surprise appeared on his face.

And then…

Something else.

Something resembling confusion.

Or even slight dismay.

I had never seen him like this before.

— Hm…

He fell silent.

Usually Kurosaki-kun answered immediately.

Always.

As if he already knew what to say.

But now he hesitated.

Looked somewhere to the side.

Choosing his words.

— Well… you can try.

He quietly exhaled.

— Of course, Hayato-kun probably won’t have the courage to…

I didn’t let him finish.

— I’ll make him.

He looked at me sharply.

I had already started.

It was too late to stop.

— I’ll tell him that I don’t mind if he wants to date other girls too.

— The main thing is that I’m the first.

Kurosaki-kun froze.

For a few seconds.

As if he hadn’t expected to hear something like that from me at all.

Then all emotions disappeared from his face.

Too quickly.

Too neatly.

Only the usual impenetrable mask remained.

Only a vein on his forehead pulsed slightly.

And his gaze became somehow glassy.

Empty.

— That’s your decision, Amano-san.

His voice sounded even.

Even too even.

— And I respect it.

He made a short pause.

— We can do a confession training.

I froze.

I immediately imagined it.

Standing in front of him.

But instead of Kurosaki-kun I see Hayato.

Saying everything out loud.

Leaning closer.

Kissing him.

My heart raced wildly.

No.

I wasn’t ready for that at all.

Not at all.

— No!

I answered too sharply.

Kurosaki-kun slightly raised an eyebrow.

I quickly looked away.

— I think… I can handle it myself.

— I see.

He smiled again.

But the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

And that was when I felt it especially clearly.

As if I had just broken something inside him.

Something small.

But important.

He still stood calmly.

Showing no emotions.

However, a completely different feeling now came from him.

Cold.

Detached.

And I didn’t like that at all.

Not one bit.

— Well then…

He slowly nodded.

— I offered.

Then he looked somewhere past me.

— Looks like the route can no longer be changed.

I stared at him uncomprehendingly.

— What route?

Kurosaki-kun seemed to snap out of it.

— Ah.

He waved his hand slightly.

— Sorry.

— I remembered one game.

— There you had to train a character.

I blinked.

He continued in the same calm tone:

— I thought I could do without it.

— So to speak, I wanted to choose the love route.

He smiled.

But his face still remained somehow empty.

As if he was saying something completely different from what he was actually thinking.

— You’re talking some kind of nonsense right now…

— Possibly.

He shrugged.

Then took the keys from the table.

— Alright.

— I’ll be rooting for you.

He nodded toward the studio.

— You can stream calmly today.

— And I need to go to the store.

— Now?

I asked before I even realized why.

— Yes.

He smiled again.

Politely.

Calmly.

And headed toward the exit.

I remained standing in place.

Watching him go.

Hearing the door open.

Hearing it close.

And for some reason it hurt.

Just a little.

But unpleasantly.

After all, I had gotten exactly what I wanted.

Kurosaki-kun had helped me change.

Helped me become more confident.

Pushed me toward Hayato.

Now I could confess.

I could kiss him.

I could become the first.

Everything was going exactly as I had dreamed.

«Then why…»

I gripped the phone tighter.

«Why does it feel like I just did something terribly wrong..?»

The stream went unexpectedly well.

The moment I put on the mask, turned on the camera, and saw the first messages in the chat, my mood immediately lifted.

Today I was alone again.

Without Kurosaki-kun.

Just me.

The mask.

The provocative costume.

And hundreds of viewers who almost immediately started flooding the chat with messages.

Someone praised the look.

Someone asked me to turn closer to the camera.

Someone wrote again that I had become much more confident.

Before, such attention would have made me flustered.

I would have started stumbling over my words.

Constantly adjusting my clothes and thinking only about how I looked from the side.

But today everything was different.

I joked.

Answered messages.

Teased the viewers.

Sometimes I deliberately leaned closer to the camera, making the chat literally explode.

And every time I involuntarily smiled under the mask.

«I really have changed.»

That thought warmed me.

The stream went great.

The number of viewers grew.

Donations came one after another.

I got so carried away that I almost forgot about Kurosaki-kun.

About our conversation.

About how the emotions had disappeared from his face.

About how he had left, leaving me alone.

Almost forgot.

Only occasionally my gaze would involuntarily drift toward the door.

But it never opened.

When the broadcast ended, I sat in front of the darkened camera for a few more seconds.

The room became unusually quiet.

I took off the mask.

A satisfied smile still lingered on my face.

The stream had turned out excellent.

Probably one of the best in recent times.

I quickly changed.

Neatly folded the costume.

Checked the equipment.

Turned off the lights.

After that I went into the living room.

— Kurosaki-kun?

No answer.

I went further.

Looked in the kitchen.

Empty.

No one in the living room.

The hallway was also silent.

His shoes weren’t at the entrance.

That meant he still hadn’t returned.

I looked at the time.

It had already been quite a while.

Too long for a regular trip to the store.

«He probably had other things to do.»

I tried to tell myself this calmly.

Kurosaki-kun always had some meetings.

Shoots.

Contracts.

Trainings.

He wasn’t obligated to come back just because I was at his house.

And yet…

My heart suddenly felt heavy.

I took out my phone.

Opened our chat.

My fingers automatically started typing:

Will you be back soon?

I looked at the message for a few seconds.

Then deleted it.

«Why?»

He had let me do the stream.

I had finished.

Now I could calmly go home.

There was no reason to wait for him.

I put the phone away.

Took my things.

And left the house.

On the way home my mood gradually returned.

I remembered the successful moments of the broadcast.

The viewers’ reactions.

The number of donations.

How easily I had held myself in front of the camera today.

I returned home already in a good mood.

Quickly went up to my room.

Threw my bag near the table.

And then with a running start fell onto the bed.

Rolled onto my back.

Looked at the ceiling.

And my thoughts returned to Hayato-kun on their own.

I hugged the pillow tighter and closed my eyes.

In front of me appeared Hayato-kun again.

Not today’s.

Not the one who laughed with Miu or calmly discussed training with someone.

But the Hayato-kun I had met in my first year of high school.

Back then I hardly talked to anyone.

I always tried to sit closer to the window.

Not to raise my hand.

Not to attract attention.

During breaks I pretended to read.

Although sometimes I just stared at the same page, just so no one would talk to me.

And it was he who approached first.

Completely unexpectedly.

Without mockery.

Without awkward pity.

He simply noticed the keychain on my bag and asked:

— Do you like this anime too?

I was so flustered then that I couldn’t answer right away.

I probably looked incredibly stupid.

But Hayato-kun didn’t leave.

He didn’t laugh.

He just waited.

And then smiled and started talking himself.

About his favorite character.

About the latest episode.

About how badly the adaptation ruined it compared to the manga.

And gradually I started answering too.

At first shortly.

Then more and more.

That day I didn’t even notice how the break had ended for the first time in a long while.

After that we started talking more often.

We discussed new manga chapters.

Argued about endings.

Shared theories.

Played games together from our favorite titles.

Sometimes he deliberately chose a weak character so we would be roughly at the same level.

I knew perfectly well that he was going easy on me.

But he always pretended that he had just been unlucky.

— Wow, I lost again.

— Looks like today isn’t my day.

And he smiled so sincerely that I couldn’t get angry at him.

He never rushed me.

If I fell silent, he didn’t try to force words out of me.

If I started getting nervous, he changed the subject to something familiar.

If it got too noisy around us, he suggested going somewhere quieter.

Hayato-kun noticed such things.

Little things that others usually missed.

He always held the door.

Always waited if I fell behind.

Always asked if everything was okay with me, even when I tried to smile and pretend nothing had happened.

Next to him I didn’t need to force myself to be someone else.

I didn’t need to seem more interesting.

Braver.

Brighter.

He accepted me as I was.

Even the old me.

Quiet.

Insecure.

Almost invisible.

I pressed the pillow tighter to my face.

My heart beat faster.

«I love him.»

Now this thought no longer frightened me.

On the contrary.

It seemed the most honest of all.

I wanted to tell him.

I wanted him to finally know.

I wanted to stop hiding behind conversations about anime and chance meetings after school.

And for the first time it seemed to me that I really could.

I wouldn’t run away.

I wouldn’t fall silent at the last moment.

I wouldn’t lower my eyes.

Because now I had changed.

I had become more confident.

I had learned to speak directly.

I had learned not to hide.

And Kurosaki-kun had a huge part in all of this.

If not for him…

I would probably still be watching Hayato-kun from the sidelines for a long time.

Dreaming.

Jealous.

And doing nothing.

Kurosaki-kun had pushed me forward.

Made me believe that I could also be beautiful.

Interesting.

Desired.

That I had the right to fight for the person I loved.

I involuntarily smiled.

«Thank you, Kurosaki-kun.»

Even if today I had said something that hurt him.

Even if after that he had become strange.

I was still grateful to him.

It was thanks to him that I had the opportunity to confess to Hayato-kun.

The opportunity to finally become happy.

I hugged the pillow tighter to my chest.

«I will definitely tell him.» the darkened