Pros and Cons
I packed my earbuds back into their charging case as we approached the convention. As I’d hoped, the comfort had been fine. I still would have liked to have used a wired headset or wired earbuds but some enshitifier had both removed the jack from my phone, and discontinued the adapter. These earbuds were manufactured by some power tool company so they looked like they belonged on a construction site, but were at least robust with a focus on battery life and sound isolation. The second was probably my higher priority. All I’d needed to do was design a way for them to stay put in my not-so-human ears. Then I had to dissect the original charging case to make something that could hold the upgraded earbuds.
All that to say, the headphone situation was solved, but very much at the cost of any chance of a convention outfit. I didn’t especially want to work on cosplay in the first place, so having an interesting project to fixate on had so gracefully brought me to the current scenario: wearing the outfit that Carolyn had picked out for me, complete with the original magnetic ear tag, a little pinch-on nose ring, and yet another super cute romper that I would feel so much better about if it wasn’t heavily branded for Tristate farms. The only reason I wasn’t walking around with samples was because Deyha had talked some sense into Carolyn.
Ellen, ever the collaborator, wore full overalls, a plaid shirt that had been tied up to basically be a bra, and a straw hat. I’d finished making the hat during the drive to the convention. It wasn’t all that durable or effective, but it got the point across.
Rose and Xan’s costumes were based on some animated show that had come out not long ago. A jester and a purple rabbit. Rose was not enjoying the purple face paint, but she suffered it without much complaint. What a trooper. She was however yawning every other minute or so, despite the coffee we had gotten just after leaving the farm. It was honestly a little concerning how little sleep she seemed to have gotten, but I supposed she probably got up early to start the paint for her costume.
“I’m not seeing that many costumes.” I looked out at the lines of people headed toward the convention hall. Granted, I could tell they were headed there just based on the graphic tee shirts and lanyard passes, but so far I’d only seen one storm trooper and a Star Trek uniform.
”It’s not like the majority of them are going to be in costumes~” Ellen nudged my shoulder.
”Yeah, but how small is the minority?— oh! There’s a fur suit!”
”Yep, you’ll see a few of those, though you don’t really seem to fall in that category either.”
”You don’t need to remind me.” I fussed with the simple leather sandals I’d made. I’d had to improvise last minute because the EVA foam pads I’d tried at first made it nearly impossible to balance. These were dollar store flip-flops that I’d cut down and tied to my hooves.
Xander pulled into a parking garage and I watched with growing unease as we ascended level after level of jam packed parking. Soon I was almost hoping that people didn’t carpool to these things, but it seemed like a vain hope.
Finally, she found a spot and I took a couple pictures of signs indicating the level we were on as well as a view outside to help me locate the spot later. Something told me that when we were done here I was not going to want to waste time searching for the car.
“How far is it to the convention center?” I let Ellen loop her arm through mine as Xander led the way to the stairwell.
“Probably a ten minute walk.” She held the door open and my heart sank as I remembered how many levels we had come up.
Not only was the prospect of going down stairs unappealing, I really didn’t want to go up them again after having walked all day too.
“Is that including the stairs?” I muttered under my breath as I began the first flight.
“We’ll take the elevator when we come back.”
“Theres an elevator‽”
“Of course there is.” Xander laughed. “But stairs are good for you~”
“Stairs are dangerous.” I gestured at my improvised sandals. “I'll be lucky to reach the bottom without tripping.”
“I’d be careful then.” Xander shrugged. Her utter lack of sympathy was infuriating.
Ellen was at least patient, staying nearby while Xander and Rose sped ahead.
“Was there anything in particular you wanted to check out while we are here?” Ellen took my hand as we stepped out onto the sidewalk.
“I dunno. There's a stamp rally for a game I play, so that will likely take me all over the showroom floor anyways."
I got the strangest sense of Déjà vu as we approached the convention hall, and after a moment it hit me. This was the exact same event space where I’d attended the job fair, well over a year ago now. I wondered if maybe Deyha and Carolyn would go to another some day, and what it might be like to tag along and be on the other side of the table.
“Oh my gosh! I love your costume!” I looked around to find who was speaking and it took me another moment to register that they were talking to me. A woman about my age with bright red hair and about a bajillion piercings was positively glowing with excitement and it was all directed at me. I noted the unmistakable look of embarrassed chagrin from her brunette companion.
“Oh- uh. Thanks!” I forced a smile.
”Holy shit!—” She continued to gush, and now her companion was rolling her eyes “—your prosthetic makeup is immaculate? How do you get it so lifelike?”
She skipped forward to walk backwards while looking my costume up and down now, and her eyes widened further as she fixated on the logo on my shirt. It was strange, her Iris’s seemed to be practically black, probably contacts if I had to guess, though that wouldn’t make sense for the rest of her costume either. The giant foam sword on her back was an exact match for another of the characters in the game I played, easily flagging her as a fellow gamer— but the rest of her outfit was a more casual departure from the skin-tight motorcycle outfit the character was infamous for. Instead, she had a jacket and shorts more similar to a different character from the same region, kinda like the whole ‘girlfriends swap outfits’ trope. Her partner wasn’t dressed as anything in particular, just the sort of comfortable street clothes that I suddenly wished I was wearing.
”Tristate farms…” she murmured. “It’s not prosthetics after all, is it?”
dread formed in my stomach, but I took comfort in the way Ellen slipped her arm around me protectively.
“She isn’t really comfortable talking about work, I just bullied her into this outfit because she lost a bet.” Ellen lied smoothly, and I nodded. I didn’t exactly have a better excuse after all.
“So… you’re dressed as Mary?” I tried to pivot the conversation off of me, as far from Tristate farms as I could manage really.
“See?” ‘Mary’ turned to her companion. “I told you it was close enough to be recognizable.”
“Uh huh.” Her partner was unamused. I felt a weird surge of empathy. One one hand, sure it was just a silly game, but it was important to me, and presumably to this cosplayer as well. I wanted to help show her partner that the impression she was trying to make was landing.
”You’re shipping Mary with Jeanette, right? It’s like the outfit swapping trope.”
”See!” Mary was even more animated, “She totally gets it.—“ she turned back to me “You know, if you’re familiar with the game, you should know there’s a pretty cute cowgirl character. Your ears, horns, and tail are an exact match for her.”
”Ah…” I hid my hands in the front of my romper. “Yeah, I know. I’m a pretty big fan of her.”
”We should hang out then! Side by side our outfits are certain to make people think you’re dressing up as some AU version— Are you doing the stamp rally?”
”Mary~” her partner tugged at her elbow, “Don’t scare her~”
”I’m not!”
I wondered if Mary happened to be her real name, or if she was really that deep into roleplaying the character. The latter seemed unlikely, but how well could I really estimate her enthusiasm?
“It’s okay,” I tried to diffuse the argument before it became one big sapphic domestic dispute. “Uh, yeah, It would probably be more comfortable to be assumed to be a character rather than a Milk advertisement.”
”Win win!” Mary spun to walk forward again and we resumed a normal pace to the convention center.
Ellen rubbed at my shoulder “Look at you go! Making friends already! See? Isn’t this great?”
”Uh huh.” I mumbled. “You’re a butt.”
”Soooo~” Mary drawled “Exactly how off-limits is the work conversation? Because I’m burning with questions, but as Addie has pointed out I can be intense, so I don’t want to be overbearing.”
”I… I’m not sure how to articulate—“
Ellen spoke over me, “She doesn’t want to interact with her fan-club outside of the farm, so it’s personal milk related stuff that’s off the table.”
”Ellen‽”
”What? Am I wrong? Here—“ she dropped my arm to step between me and Mary. “I’ll screen your questions.”
”Lord~” I groaned, but I still let her pick up my other arm as she led the way forward.
”Hmm, I guess I’m curious about—“
”Ah ah!” Ellen cut her off, “Whisper, I take my job seriously.”
I rolled my eyes as they had their very poorly hidden exchange.
”Yeah, that should be okay to ask. She wants to know how you changed your appearance.”
”Oh, it’s not too crazy. My uh— Doctor Carolyn Davis designs the gene mods. It’s just a serum regimen that steadily replaces my DNA to change how I grow.”
I tried to be subtle about skirting around the concepts of magic and illusions. I mean, clearly she wasn’t looking at me like I was crazy, but you never knew where folks draw the line. Besides, I wasn’t about to get into explaining demon magic to strangers when even I didn’t fully understand how it worked.
”Damn, sounds like a hell of a doctor.” Mary whistled. “Does she do house calls?”
”Mary‽” Addie tugged at her more insistently this time.
”Sorry, sorry, I’ll behave.”
We joined the queue to get into the convention center and I double checked that I had all the relevant bits ready to lay out for any possible security screen.
It was strange, a year ago I would have had a pretty different set of belongings to lay out. I’d probably have some sort of belt I’d have to take off for starters, and shoes… oh fuck, I didn’t want to think about what I’d do if this was the sort of checkpoint that required I took off shoes. I had a feeling the weird sandals wouldn’t satisfy a security agent who cared. But, setting that aside, I’d usually have a wallet and keys. Now my key ring was purely decorative and the little wallet in my bag served only to hold the truly insane amount of spending cash that Deyha had insisted I have on hand.
At the very least, the security checkpoint had provided a compelling argument against Carolyn’s “sample” idea so there were bright sides to the security theatre too.
We chatted idly about games and shows as the line crawled slowly toward the entrance. Mary and Addie happened to have an entire polycule, so that made it much less scary to be open about my own little family. Remarking about how Carolyn was a dragon didn’t seem to surprise Mary in the slightest, but then again, I was pretty compelling proof of the range that gene modding had to offer.
We ended up spreading out to go through security, which I wasn’t a fan of, but I kept an eye on where Ellen was just in case as I stepped up to the checkpoint. I took some small comfort in the fact that the lady guiding my section through seemed to be at least a little bit of a nerd. She had a huge collection of pins of various characters and even swapped one with the person ahead of me.
”Okay Miss, can I get you to take off your headpiece?”
I turned around, hoping that maybe she was talking to someone else, but no luck.
“I… Can’t? Can you check it without me taking them off?” My heart was in my throat as I waited for her cheerful demeanor to drop into stern command but she nodded and beckoned for me to incline my head.
She chuckled as she gave my horns a little wiggle but her eyes widened slightly as she got to my ears.
“I think I see what you mean.” She murmured “Yeah, those aren’t going anywhere. You can step on through.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, glad to have dodged confrontation, but that bliss only lasted as long as it took for the scanner to light up red. The agent on the other side of the gate held up a hand. “I need to take a look at your shoes.”
Fear gripped my heart again. What were the odds that I got away with the same excuse twice?
”She’s good, I checked.” The first security guard spoke up over the crowd. She was giving a thumbs up.
“Good enough for me.” He shrugged and handed me back my bag. “Enjoy the convention, Miss.”
I nodded and it took me a couple steps to remember to breathe as I caught up to Ellen. I shook one of my hooves to try and resituate the sandal.
”That was lucky.” I muttered under my breath as I not so subtly leaned into her shoulder. I felt like I needed the support right now.
”Luck had nothing to do with it. I bribed security.”
”Ellen‽”
”Kidding! Geeze, you are way too easy to fool. No, I think you lucked out with a worker who has seen some shit. She watched you pretty intently as you stepped through the scanner.” She rubbed my shoulder as I fixed my bag back on my shoulder.
“Evil.”
”You say that a lot, I’m beginning to think you don’t mean it, or at least that it's losing value.”
”Nefarious, devious… Malevolent. Take your pick.”
”Oooooh.” Ellen wiggled her fingers and waved her hands. “Somebody stop me!”
“Somebody might.” I looked past her as Rose and Xander rejoined us.
I contemplated pretending to whine about Ellen to Xander, but I was 90% sure that would result in a dog pile on me.
“Everyone get through all right?” Xander fixed her jester hat as she joined us
“They took my scissors” Rose pouted.
“I don’t know why you brought a sharp object to a public event.” Xander rolled her eyes. “Oh, hello again” she turned as Mary and Addie joined our little cluster.
I decided to speak up to clarify the situation. “I’m going to tag along with Mary for the stamp rally, I’m hoping her cosplay provides me some camouflage, lets people assume this is a game character as well, ya know?”
“Good luck with that.” Somehow, despite having a sarcastic tone, it felt like the sentiment from Xander was genuine. “Well, Rose and I are headed for the circus then. We’ll touch base later.”
I waved and followed on after Mary as she led the rest of our group to get stamp books. Unfortunately, we didn’t get terribly far before I was distracted. I didn't have the most amazing sense of smell, but the scent of fried food sure as hell punched through the noise.
“Can we stop for a snack?” I tugged at Ellen and I watched her face morph through confusion to concern and resignation.
“You didn’t eat before you came?” Addie raised an eyebrow.
“We did~” Ellen frowned.
“You know the prices for food here are going to be highway robbery, right?” Mary seemed similarly concerned, but she led the way to the concession anyways.
“Are you sure?” Ellen lowered her voice. “We didn’t bring anything to do an extraction.”
“Yeah~” I tried not to sound whiny and petulant, but I felt sure I was failing. “But I’m not going to have any fun if I’m starving either.”
“Surely you aren’t going to starve.” Mary surprised me as she turned to look at us. I’d felt certain that nobody could have heard us over the crowd.
“Not… to death or anything.” I tried to plan out my explanation, anything to avoid prying questions, but I was drawing a blank. “The mods make my metabolism a little over-active.”
“Ah.” Mary pursed her lips.
“What? What's wrong?” Addie seemed to have completely missed the conversation, making it all the more conspicuous that Mary hadn’t.
“It's complicated.” Mary’s brow furrowed and she rubbed at her temples. “Damn it~ okay, so I might have a solution.”
“I mean… the solution is right there,” I gestured past her at the short line.
“Right, but I know a— uh… trick to suppress hunger temporarily.”
“Is it drinking a fuck ton of water? Because I’m not sure that would work for me.”
“No, no. It’s… fuck, you’re going to think I'm crazy.”
“Unlikely.” Ellen tapped one of my horns. “Look at who you are talking to.”
“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Mary stole a glance at Addie. “I know a spell to temporarily suppress distracting physical urges. I mainly use it for when I need to stay awake, but we’ve experimentally determined it has multiple other uses”
“A spell. Like magic?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re a witch?”
There was a strangely long pause before Mary nodded, but Addie nodded as well.
“Uh. Well. That's hardly as weird as vampires or demons so… I'll try anything twice.” I shrugged. “How common are supernatural folks anyways?”
Mary cast her gaze around the convention floor, as though actually doing the math. “Nobody besides the two of us has a strong mana signature, though I could pick up a bit from your other friends.”
“I have a mana signature? Oh, maybe it's because of the work Mazer did.”
“You know D- him?”
“Yeah, I already said I know about demons.— why are you shaking your head?” I turned to Ellen and she stopped immediately.
“Its just that— I mean I haven’t really worked with him.”
“Yeah you have— you’re being weird.” I turned back to Mary. “How do you know Mazer?”
“Hes…” Mary looked confused as she glanced at Ellen and I once again caught her shaking her head.
“He’s kinda a big deal in tristate.” Mary finished.
“Fine. Keep your secrets.” I grumbled. I wasn’t jazzed about the nonsense going on but I couldn't quite blame Mary for being cagey with someone she just met. “How does the spell work? Is it some sort of incantation?”
“More of a lay on hands thing,” Mary rubbed her palms together as though needing to work back some warmth into her fingers. “May I?”
I looked at Ellen and sighed. I really didn't want to have a leaking incident at the convention. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
I expected her to rest her hands on my shoulders, but she placed her palms on the sides of my neck, murmuring “sorry” as I flinched. Her hands warmed for a moment and there was an oddly familiar rush of warmth down my spine, almost as if Carolyn was touching me, but I focused on keeping my mouth shut and not panting like a sex obsessed slut. As quickly as it began, she was done. I was about to ask if it even did anything before I realized I was no longer hungry.
“So.” She dusted her hands and took a step back. “Back to our regularly scheduled programming?”
“You’re so weird.” I chuckled. “And thanks… I guess it's a little late to ask, but are there side effects?”
“You’ll crash in six to eight hours, but some food and a good night's rest will fix you up.” Mary led the way back to the main thoroughfare between the isles of stalls and led us fairly directly to the game developer’s stall.
All the workers were dressed as characters from the game, some were old favorites from years ago, and some were completely unrecognizable, likely because I didn't tend to watch the previews of upcoming updates.
There was however someone cosplaying Mary more accurately, and she waved cheerfully as we approached.
“Interesting take on the character~” the other Mary looked me up and down, grinning conspiratorially as she did.
“Oh, uh, this is mostly branding for the dairy I work at. The character stuff was an afterthought.”
“Hell of an afterthought…” She passed out the four stamp books as well as miniature pre-marked maps. “These are the other booths we’ve partnered with, all you have to do is play their demo for a couple minutes and they will stamp your card. Bring the completed book back here by three to be entered in a drawing for a gem stash, and as long as you make it back before the end of the day you’ll get the swag bag and cosmetic code.”
“Cool, cool.” I glanced past her at the wall of props. “Are those for sale?”
“Ah, no. Those are prizes for the costume contest. You should enter! I like your chances of winning the catalyst.” She pulled a slip of paper out of a folder and handed it to me. “The runway is at three as well, come check it out.”
I accepted the paper, a sort of sign-up form and bib number like races used for runners. My favorite character was printed fairly prominently.
“I won't tell Carolyn if you want to use that to cover the tristate farm logo.” Ellen took the bib and started opening up the safety pins, as though my agreement was a forgone conclusion.
“Fine…”
“Are you okay?” Ellen led me away from the booth, following Mary and Addie as they made a fairly direct path to the nearest partner booth.
“Its just a lot, you know? So many people. So noisy.”
“Put your headphones back on, we’ll poke you if there's anything we need to talk about.”
I debated refusing, but the logic was pretty compelling. Besides, it was going to be a long day, it wouldn’t do to be overwhelmed so early on. I dug out the little charging case while Ellen set about pinning on the bib. The waxy paper wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t enough to convince me to call the whole thing off.
I set the buds to noise filtering mode and tucked the case away. Mary and Addie had waited up for us, so it didn't take long before we were back underway.
“Maddie can get overstimulated sometimes.” Ellen’s voice was a little garbled but easily discernible in the near quiet, just barely permitted through the filter.
“Oof.” Mary gave me a sympathetic look. “It's good that you have plugs though. Good planning.”
I didn't bother correcting her that they were headphones and just gave the stereotypical thin smile of acknowledgement. I still didn't particularly like Ellen casually airing my issues, regardless of how supportive other folks could be.
“The noise canceling is pretty sophisticated, so she probably won't hear you unless she takes them out.”
I ignored the misunderstanding and pretended to take interest in the stamp book and map. I could vaguely make out where we were and we were headed for one of the other gatcha games by the same studio.
“So… can I ask what was up with the non-verbal but somehow very loud ‘no’ signal from earlier?”
“Ah.” Ellen stole a glance at me, but I didn't look up.
Fuck around and find out my dear.
“So, Carolyn told us about you, and how Mazer is your father. It's actually thanks to you that Maddie got the latest and greatest gene modding care not too long ago, but… well, she wasn’t quite as enthused about how you and Carolyn got to know each other.”
It took all my willpower to keep my eyes trained on my stamp book, though I wasn’t even sure why I was pretending to be deaf at this point. My fingers tightened on the little booklet as my breathing quickened.
It was her, the half fucking demon succubus lady who was Carolyn’s friend with benefits. The one who—
Wasn’t a dirty secret. Wasn’t competition… and certainly wasn’t the enemy. Mary was… damn it, she was kinda nice. Extremely caring and outgoing, thoughtful, and just… how could anyone hate her, how could I hate her now that I knew the tiniest bit about her?
I let out my breath and forced myself to ease my grip. So Mary fucked my girlfriend. Owner. Whatever. At this point, could I even blame Carolyn? I wondered if Addie was in the same boat as me on this. Frustrated with her loose cannon partner and insatiable appetites. I chanced a look at Addie and she caught my eye. I liked to think there was understanding, sympathy, kinship maybe, but I couldn’t trust my read.
I sighed and tapped Ellen. She’d put her foot in her mouth enough already. “I can hear you.”
I stated it simply, and tried to enjoy the embarrassed fluster as her face turned pink.
“Sorry.” Mary was the first to speak, “I promise I don’t try to be a homewrecker.”
I scoffed and shook my head. “You have nothing to apologize for.” I prodded Ellen on the chest. “This one seems to be gunning for my title as number one drama starter.”
“I’m not!” Ellen whined. “I'm trying to protect you!”
“Nope. You’re in the doghouse— cat house.” I did a quick eenie meanie miney moe between Mary and Addie. “Now Addie is my best friend for the day. Sucks to suck.”
“Maddie!~” Ellen whined but I was already sidestepping to the other side of our little group.
“So Addie, what's the latest hot gos’?”
“I’m afraid I’m not much of a gossip.”
“Perfect, that was a test and you passed.” I skipped out of reach as Ellen made a grab for my tail.
“You aren't helping your case~” I taunted Ellen, much to Mary and Addie’s amusement.
“Get back here so I can apologize!”
“Uh uh.” I hid behind Mary this time. “I’m not falling for another lovey dovey button pressing session. Be a big girl and sit in time-out.”
“Oh my~” Mary laughed. “Okay, watch where you’re going,”
She caught my elbow, tugging me so that I wouldn’t barrel into any innocent bystanders, while simultaneously strong-arming Ellen out of range.
“I hope I don’t have to threaten to tranquilize one of you.” Mary released me but kept a hold on Ellen.
“You can do that?”
“Do you want to find out if I’m bluffing?”
“Fair point…” I folded my arms. “Fine, Ellen, you’re forgiven or whatever. Cat house status rescinded.”
“Yay~” she enveloped me in a hug.
I rolled my eyes and patted her back as she squeezed and did some relatively tame petting. I tried to give Mary and Addie a “see what I have to deal with?” Expression but they seemed utterly unsympathetic to my plight.
“Okay, okay.” I eased Ellen off of me and straightened my collar. “We're never going to make it back to the cosplay contest if we don’t make some progress on these stamp books, can we move this along?”