Help Wanted: Resident farm hand. Milk production preferred, collar and childbearing optional.

“You want to try that again? Pet?”

“Moo?” I held up my hands in a helpless gesture, but neither of my companions showed the slightest hint of pity.

Entrapment. That’s what this was. Plain and simple. Carolyn had to have known I would slip up the moment she took the leash off and this was just playing into one of her grand plans. I wondered what the punishment would be this time. Hopefully not another naked stroll, but it was impossible to be certain.

“I warned you~” Carolyn’s voice turned playful but I ignored her approach in favor of retrieving the leash.

Ellen was faster and I scowled at her as she bundled the leash up and retreated to the far end of the bed. With that out of the picture I worked on at least cutting down on distractions. The extractors had done their job and I was once again drained of milk, at least for the minute, so I detached the pump equipment from the harness.

“What to do with my naughty little cow. So disobedient. So poorly behaved.”

I rolled my eyes, despite knowing it would hurt my case and stood to put the milk bag by the door.

“You might as well take that down and start it pasteurizing~” Carolyn continued to smirk as she got comfortable on the bed. “No rush, Ellen and I will wait here.”

Fucking damn it.

So much for “it’s only fun if everyone's having fun”. That lasted all of fifteen minutes.

My imagination rushed through scenarios. The possible confrontations if I refused, the disappointment if I talked again… and the praise if I obeyed. Perhaps even the respect I would gain if I ended up calling a bluff— though I couldn't count on an easy out again.

I took a deep breath. It was fine. This was my home, I had even specifically said I refused to be ashamed of how I dressed in my own home, and why shouldn’t that apply to lack of clothing too? Though, the pink harness was a bit much.

I set the milk down to fuss with the harness, and with a little bit of fiddling I had it untangled and hanging on the knob of the dresser. Neither Carolyn nor Ellen had remarked on my decision paralysis or choices otherwise, so I decided to just give it a shot.

Fuck it.

If there were more people in the lobby than I was ready for I could just chicken out. The only rules to this game would be the ones I made. I steeled my nerves and opened the door. I decided I'd just imagine the impressed and surprised reactions because the last thing I needed was to second guess this further.

I closed the door behind me and looked out over the railing. Xander and Rose were playing some racing game on the main TV, and the lobby was otherwise pretty deserted. The skylight showed that it was already getting dark, despite barely being evening by my reckoning, but that just meant most folks had probably already had dinner.

It was enough. Hell, there was even a chance I’d run into Deyha, and at worst she would probably be amused, or assume this was some sort of bullying she could be mad at Carolyn for.

I headed for the stairs. I wished we had an elevator. I was already devoting so much attention to my surroundings, and it would just take a small slip to have a whole new embarrassing situation to live down. I’d already taken a fall on these stairs once, and don’t let the carpet fool you, they still bruise like a motherfucker.

I kept a firm grip of the railing and resisted the urge to take the steps two at a time. This was temporary. It would pass.

Xander and Rose remained engrossed in their game as I approached the pasteurizing vats, and the routine of the setup I had done so many hundreds of times helped me relax. I was just doing a normal task. Nothing remarkable about it.

That zen mindset lasted about as long as it took for me to notice footsteps approaching around the corner. The panic returned in full force and I scanned my surroundings for escapes and hiding places. Perhaps the goddess of cows was looking out for me, because I saw an abandoned snuggie folded over a chair. I'd have to step out into the open a bit more to grab it, but it was my best bet. I struggled to keep my cool as I wrapped the blanket around myself, not caring whether it was right side out or even right side up, but it was a victory all the same.

One of the other producers stepped into view, carrying her own bag of milk and we exchanged pleasantries as I finished the setup of the pasteurizer. I shrugged at the usual remark about the volume that I’d managed and I lied about having waited too long to extract.

I didn’t know what I’d say when people actually started noticing how I was outpacing everyone on production. It's not like I *wanted* to be an overachiever. But… well… I guess subconsciously I had, because whatever alchemy my body was using to turn grass into milk was going a hell of a lot faster than it did for anyone else.

“I’d swear I left it here.” Xander murmured as she approached us, and then her voice took on a mock accusing tone as she poked me on the shoulder. “Hey! Thief! That one is mine!”

“I… uh. Sorry. I didn't know.”

Xander squinted, and my stomach dropped as her lips turned into a smirk. She caught a hold of the sleeve, so I didn't even bother trying to escape. Something told me my pleas would fall on deaf ears too.

The other producer chuckled as she bid us farewell and left the way she had come, but Xander didn't relent.

“I have a feeling I know why I have to ask, but can I have my blanket back?”

“Xanderrrr~”

“I could ask louder” her eyes flicked up to the balcony and I swore under my breath.

“Fucking hell, for the love of… I don't know, please?”

“Mmmmm” Xander pulled the blanket off my shoulder as she pretended to consider. “Nope.”

“Here?”

“Right here.” Xander released me and put her hands on her hips. “Right now, though, I will admit that your agonizing is pretty amusing, so I won’t give you a countdown.”

“But if I try to leave—“

“Then I am nowhere near above making sure Carolyn finds out.”

“Yeah… I figured.” I glanced past her at the couch where Rose was scrolling on her phone. “I miss when you weren’t sadistic like Carolyn.”

Xander glanced over her shoulder at Rose and then shrugged. “Your masochism can bring out the sadism in the tamest of us, even Rose.”

“Fine, fine, you win.” I shrugged the snuggie off my shoulders and held it out to Xander.

Her eyes widened and it took a moment for her to actually accept the blanket, leading me to wonder if she actually knew what she was asking of me before demanding her snuggie back.

“I…” she trailed off and glanced back at Rose. “Somehow I didn’t expect that, and I feel kinda bad.”

“Bad enough to give me the blanket back?”

Xander tugged the snuggie around her shoulders. “Not quite. Did Carolyn put you up to this?”

“Obviously. Probably a punishment for slipping up and using human words while I'm supposed to be on leash time.” I fought the urge to cross my arms in some sort of vain attempt to cover myself.

Xander’s eyes once again flicked up to the balcony, but her expression was difficult to read.

“Is everything okay? With… you know…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I paced in place, “And I swear I'm not trying to be obtuse but can we hash that out some other time?”

“Sure, totally, just… you know I'm not trying to shame you right? This is okay. You’re okay.”

“I appreciate it, but—“

“Xan?” Rose called from the couch.

It was Xander’s turn to swear under her breath as she turned to make sure she was between me and Rose. “I'll be just a sec, do you see… my phone over there? I think it might be in the cushions.”

Rose, bless her, took to the task like the golden retriever we always said she was.

“Go.” Xander whispered. “I’ll check in later.”

I wasn’t sure whether or not to thank her. I wasn’t sure what to think in general, but while my mind racing wasn’t helpful, a race up the stairs would be. I skipped back to the stairwell, taking care to hold the handrail as I hurried back to the bedroom.

This whole adventure had gone three sorts of weird and I was not interested in sticking it out for a fourth.

I stepped back into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I was even tempted to lock it but I knew that wouldn’t help anything. My heart continued to race, and I couldn't say whether that was because of the stairs or everything before.

“Welcome back…” Carolyn was sitting with Ellen on the side of the bed and they were both dressed again. It didn’t seem like I’d interrupted anything, but there was nothing playful about the way she spoke.

I settled for a nod and eased myself down to the carpet in front of the bed, resting my cheek on Carolyn’s knee as I caught my breath. There was another moment’s pause before she pet my head, but the touch also helped me calm down.

“I feel like… we can be done with pet time for the moment. Why did you do that?” She leaned forward so it was easier for me to see her expression, both her and Ellen seemed weirdly puzzled.

“Do what? Pasteurize the milk? You told me to.”

“I… did. But I… and you were very good to be obedient, but…” she trailed off, but Ellen picked up the thought.

“Nobody expected you to go out.”

“Then why didn’t you stop me?”

Carolyn chewed her lip and shrugged. “It was a bit of a curve ball I guess. In hindsight maybe it shouldn’t have been but I didn’t imagine I was putting that much pressure. Was that… fun for you?”

I shook my head. “No, I think I mostly motivated myself on the assumption you would be proud and impressed when I got back rather than… concerned.”

“Definitely proud and impressed, don’t get me wrong, but wasn’t that across the line for you?”

I shrugged. “Where’s the line? Haven’t we been working on redrawing it further out? Broadening the comfort zone?”

“And that was within your comfort zone?”

“Fuck no. But this is my home, I can dress how I want at home, therefore it’s fine.”

“Logical.” Ellen chuckled and shook her head.

“How are you feeling? Did you encounter any difficulties?” Carolyn scratched gently at my scalp with her nails and I focused on relaxing.

“Ran into Xander. Accidentally stole her snuggie in a panic and she wanted it back.”

“I would have paid to see that.” Carolyn chuckled.

“You don’t think it was cheating? You’re not mad that I talked to her?”

“Honestly, even if you wanted me to be mad at you for that, I still might refuse. I meant for today to be… I don't know, relaxing for you? Affirming? I thought a bit of pet play would solidify how I care for you and love you, but I fell back into the habit of setting you up to fail for my own amusement.”

I shrugged. “That’s fine.”

Both Ellen and Carolyn scoffed now, and Carolyn eased me off of her knee so that she could pull me up to sit on the bed.

“It’s not fine, and I’m not sure how to frame it so that we’re both seeing this from the same position.”

“Well, we’re all sitting on the bed now.”

Carolyn huffed a laugh. “You’re such a brat. Okay, help me out here, Ellen. Maddie told you about last night, right?”

“Mhmm.” Ellen shifted back from the edge of the bed and crossed her legs. “Maddie was scrolling videos without headphones, Deyha was blocking websites instead of discussing, and all of this came up while Maddie was expressly forbidden from talking.”

“But that’s sorted out now. We talked more, it’s okay.” I insisted but Carolyn was shaking her head.

“You never even questioned me extending the leash agreement to all day today. You came to me wanting to have a conversation and I manipulated the rules to shut you up. I threw a tantrum and basically gaslit you into thinking you were wrong.”

“That… seems aggressively self-critical.” I looked past Carolyn to Ellen. “Did she tell you her version of events?”

Ellen shrugged. “Not really.”

Carolyn folded her hands in her lap. “Fuck. Ellen, you don’t know the half of it. I basically held Maddie by the throat, lecturing her for having a mild outburst over my bullshit before… I don't know. Love bombing? It’s such an easy cycle for me to slip into. Maddie is basically all buttons and I’m always pressing them.” She finally met my eye and there was something terrifyingly cold in her gaze. “Tell me I haven’t been fostering dependence. Tell me I haven’t been shaping you into a shell of yourself. Tell me I haven’t abused you.”

“Jesus.” Ellen muttered under her breath. “Chill the fuck out, Carolyn.”

“Am I wrong?” Carolyn threw her hands up in the air and I flinched back instinctively from the raised voice.

“Carolyn.” Ellen caught her wrist. “Chill.”

“Fine, fine. I’m chill.” Carolyn's tone was heavy with sarcasm as she flopped back on the bed.

“You’re wrong.” I stated it simply, flat and devoid of all the emotion. I’d hit capacity and this was the shut down.

I knew where Carolyn was headed with this. All the talk of “I’m manipulative” from the past was fresh on my mind and an entire breakup scenario played out, complete with depression and rebounding. Not today. Not this time.

“Prove it.” Carolyn stared at the ceiling.

“Believe in me.”

“What?”

“Trust me. Trust my agency, my autonomy, even if it goes against whatever imagined version of me you have in your head. You said I surprised you earlier? Trust that I can surprise you.”

Carolyn propped herself up on her elbows and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Okay. Surprise me.”

I was tempted to say ‘boo’ to fall back on humor and try to lighten the whole atmosphere back to somewhere safe, somewhere comfortable… but I needed another way. Carolyn watched me for a moment longer before relaxing back into the bed, seemingly patient enough to let me think. So I thought.

“The codependency is an act.”

“The fuck it is.” Carolyn spat, but rather than defending myself I stared her down. Eye contact was never my strong suit, but I convinced myself I had the high ground and I waited for her to break.

“Sorry.” She mumbled and looked back at the ceiling.

“I survived independent before, I was independent when I met you, and if I wanted to be, I could be on my own again like that,” I snapped my fingers, momentarily drawing Carolyn's attention. “I have a degree, I have skills, I can provide for myself. My capabilities aren’t rusting away in the calm comfort of this life. Sure, I don’t have a doctorate, I don’t claim to be as highly educated or capable as you, but if you drill down into it, you know I’m intelligent.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that you act codependent?”

“I behave codependent. I choose to lower myself, to serve, to debase, to be less because that act is alluring to you. Look at Deyha, think back to before I came here. Would you suffer a spineless fool? You hate idiots, but you love me. Rationalize that.”

“You aren’t an idiot.” Carolyn narrowed her eyes at me again.

“But,” I held up my hands, “I’m human. I follow my heart, dream, covet, fail, and continue— in no particular order. As you say, I have buttons. You press them, and then you see what happens next.”

“And what button did I press today?” Carolyn folded her hands behind her head, and I finally saw a hint of the calm and comfortable persona.

“You—“ I climbed onto her lap. “—pressed the ‘I’m about to say I’m a monster and dump you for your own good’ button which means you get the reactor scram triage response.”

“Reactor scram triage…” Carolyn mused. “That sounds like codependent nonsense.”

I leaned in close to whisper in her ear “Get manipulated, bitch.”

Carolyn’s laugh was almost startling, and she spent several seconds cackling before wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. “Okay, that was pretty good.”

“I learned from the best.” I folded my arms. “So, now that that’s settled, you can go ahead and apologize for altering the terms of the leash agreement, silencing productive discussion, and terrifying me into public indecency. I’m all ears.”

“Hmmmm” Carolyn ran her nails along her jaw and squinted at the ceiling, “Will you settle for two out of three?”

“Mmmm. Depends.”

“Well, I am sorry for silencing you to avoid conversation and pushing you to your limits on ‘public’ indecency”, Carolyn made air quotes. “But I must confess I’m simply not sorry for cheating to stretch leash time beyond last night.”

“Acceptable.” I shrugged and turned to Ellen. “Anything to add?”

“Clearly her crazy matches your crazy… may I ask, what differentiates acting codependent from being codependent?”

“I don't know, I’m a method actor.”

This renewed Carolyn’s laughter “Damn it Maddie! You were just arguing that you aren’t codependent!”

“I’m not~” I leaned forward to hold Carolyn’s shoulders. “And I’ve already very skillfully manipulated you back from the edge of drastic measures for my own good. Facts and truth don’t have to factor into that.”

“Maddie~” Ellen groaned.

“Relax, relax.” I waved dismissively. “You would know better than anyone that being Carolyn’s pet is far from my entire identity.”

“You just get caught up acting like pleasing me is your entire purpose in life?” Carolyn raised an eyebrow.

“Sure. We’ll go with that.”

“Jesus Christ.” Carolyn muttered.

Ellen shook her head. “Since when do you curse biblically?”

“This one is rubbing off on me.” Carolyn made a shooing gesture at me with both hands but I retaliated by holding her shoulders and rocking my hips on her lap.

“Fuck!” She laughed again. “I didn't mean literally!”

“Skill issue.” I repositioned to press one of my knees between hers and laid down between her and Ellen. “Why did you both get dressed anyways? I mean, I know Carolyn never got around to undressing but I half expected to come back to you two making out, not a half baked intervention.”

“Whew.” Carolyn trailed her arm over my back. “Having you out of pet mode is disorienting as hell, I’d almost forgotten that you get uppity and start picking fights.”

I unclipped the bell from my collar and twisted to hand it to Ellen. “There, the pet sign is off. It is no longer open season to hunt me for sport.”

“Alright, alright.” Carolyn resumed scratching lightly at my back while she put her other hand behind her head. "Maybe we can turn the pet sign off more often. It could be healthy for you. And, don't take this the wrong way, but you could probably take the collar off too occasionally."

"Mmmmm nah, I'd feel naked without it."

"It's funny because you're naked." Ellen chimed in and I bapped at her blindly with my tail.

Carolyn chuckled as I swung my tail around to bap her thigh too, but she seemed oddly pensive.

I fidgeted with the buttons of her blouse as her hand fell still on my back.

Just as I was beginning to think Carolyn would fall asleep, Ellen yawned.

"Tired?" Carolyn sat up enough to look past me at Ellen.

"Eh~" The bed creaked as Ellen moved, and then bounced back as she got off the bed entirely. "Maybe a little. The rollercoaster kinda took it out of me."

"You weren't even on the rollercoaster." Carolyn groaned as she relaxed back into the bed. "You empaths and your… empathy. So inconvenient."

I pulled away from Carolyn, ignoring her weak attempts to keep me on the bed and stretched as I stood as well. "Thanks for mediating. It was really nice having someone to tell the raging dragon to chill the fuck out."

"Heh, no problem." She embraced me and kissed my forehead, but the moment was interrupted fairly immediately by Carolyn.

"Kinda surprised you didn't decide to call me a lizard or a snake or something."

I put my hands on my hips as I turned back to Carolyn, "See? I'm full of surprises. Sometimes It's not about incurring your wrath. Sometimes I want to reaffirm that I respect and adore you."

"Even after all of that?"

"Absolutely. Go ahead and air some more grievances. Put me to the test."

Carolyn rolled her eyes and fell back into the bed to stare at the ceiling.

"It would be really nice if you wore headphones from time to time."

Ellen paused in the process of putting her clothes back on and looked at me, and when I turned back to Carolyn she seemed concerned I might explode as well.

I stared off into neutral space as I contemplated a response. I wasn't exactly angry, I'd goaded her into this after all, but I also didn't feel like simply telling her she was right and cowing down again.

"You heard that, right?" I looked at Ellen. "She just volunteered to help solve the problem."

"I did?" Carolyn sat up completely now.

"Yep." I began pulling fresh clothes out of my dresser. "You specifically volunteered to misappropriate clinic resources to get me a high resolution scan of my ears. I hope you know how to export an MRI scan as a 3d model."

Carolyn groaned and flopped back again.

"Come on, chop chop!" I pulled up my shorts and turned to gauge her progress. She didn't seem keen on moving. So I gave her a few more seconds to wallow. Once I had my socks on I returned to the bed and nudged the cushion. "Let's go, are you going out like that?"

"Like what? I'm still dressed."

I made a meaningful look down and shrugged. "Maybe nobody will notice."

"Notice what— Oh, fuck you~" Carolyn whined as she realized I'd painstakingly misaligned her blouse by one button.