Waitlisted
"Now do I get to know what Ellen's mods are going to be?"
Carolyn turned in her seat. She had her hands on her hips but her eyes went wide when she saw my cargo. "Coffee!"
I nodded but held the two thermoses to my chest. "Yes, your coffee-flavored treat has been prepared, and I'll offer it in exchange for you finally divulging the mods!"
Ellen stood and stepped behind me. I prepared for her to take hers by force but she just hugged me from behind instead. "For how good you say you are at puzzles, I'm a little surprised you haven't figured it out yet. The clues have been obvious."
"Wait, so is it just a cat mod? Like a housecat?"
"Yay!" Carolyn held out her hands. "You figured it out, now gimmie!"
Ellen accepted her thermos as well and returned to her chair. "If you already knew, then I'm not sure why you were asking."
"I didn't! 'Cat' is a very broad category and-- no! pun not intended! stop laughing!"
Carolyn shook her head. "Nope, too late. Cats out of the bag."
"Goddamnit." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "For your information, I did get the cat references and the tail comment also supported that hypothesis, but I came here demanding specifics!" I pointed at Carolyn's computer. "I know you are designing her mods right now."
"Fine, fine." Carolyn turned in place and pulled up a familiar simulation window. "The plan is to enhance Ellen's senses-- in completely legal ways--" she eyed the two of us in a way that suggested it wasn't, or shouldn't be legal, "Her ears are going to be able to articulate like a cat's, though I suspect she will keep them down or 'closed' most of the time for comfort and sensitivity."
Carolyn moved her finger down the model "Her eyes are going to have additional rod cells for low-light vision, not tactical night vision like Deyha's old mods." Carolyn gave us each another of her serious looks before continuing. "I'm also rearranging her sinuses and converting a few targeted receptors, exchanging the normal human high sulfur sensitivity for a decent sensitivity in a few other key areas. I'm trying to avoid a complete olfactory redesign because that just strikes me as risky, but this should ideally give her a few of the capabilities of service dogs."
"But she's a cat?"
"And cows don't have paws, what's your point?" Carolyn gave me a side eye before pointing to the base of the neck. "I'm also adding a pseudo voice-box near the sternum that, with practice, Ellen should be able to vibrate to create low frequency-- She'll be able to purr. It probably won't perfectly promote any sort of healing but it shouldn't damage anything. Maybe it will be soothing. We'll see."
"Damn… and that's just her head area."
"Yep, it is most of it though. No fangs in the pipeline right now just because it's too much paperwork to justify them as non-weapon necessities." she zoomed out of the simulation. "Besides that, a pretty typical tail, digitigrade legs, and fur that will change color according to her existing stripes."
"Existing?"
"Humans have stripes." Carolyn stated. "Though I don't think these will be as aesthetically pleasing as you might hope."
"What about her uh…"
"Pussy?"
"I was going to say Ovary synthesis… but yeah…"
"Well underway. I assumed she has been acquainting you with her vaginoplasty progress for the last couple weeks."
Carolyn rotated in her chair. "Buuuut I should have inferred that she hadn't told you." She looked up at Ellen. "Did I just ruin a surprise?"
Ellen shrugged. "Kinda but not really. Don't worry about it, it's not like I was planning some sort of reveal party."
"Aww." Carolyn turned back to her computer. "I want cake now."
She grabbed her thermos and cupped it in both hands as she took a long drink. "Mmmmm tastes just like smiles."
"You're never going to let that go."
"You know you don't really want me to." Carolyn spun around again and brushed her leg against mine.
"I suppose not." I reached past Carolyn to collect her empty cups and plates. "What do you want for lunch?"
"Are you offering to deliver?"
"I always do."
"You spoil me, but today I think I'll make the trek. Maybe you could come kidnap me at a lunch-appropriate hour instead?"
"Sure, sure. What about you, Ellen?"
"I made plans with Max and Deyha to go into town for some real food."
"Wooooow." I exaggerated being offended in an attempt to cover the sickening pang of jealousy.
Carolyn held a hand over her chest, "And you didn't invite me?" She dropped the act when Ellen opened her mouth to reply. "Kidding of course, I remember you inviting me but I doubt I'll ever be comfortable leaving the clinic unattended for that long."
"Ideally--" Ellen leaned on Carolyn's chair. "You'll eventually be able to delegate and train enough away to actually take a break, right?"
"Maybe even a vacation." I suggested.
"Yeah, yeah." Carolyn waved dismissively. "You find a gene modder who can match my skill and I'll take you to… Ireland. I dunno, where would you want to vacation?"
"Irrelevant. I'll come back to kidnap you at noon then."
"And I'll bring back something sweet for you after." Ellen added, pointing finger guns at me.
"You spoil her." Carolyn grumbled as she turned back to her computer.
"And cake for you of course."
Carolyn squinted at Ellen, but didn't say anything to that. After a moment she restored a couple windows she had been looking at before and rested her chin on her palm as she read.
Ellen nodded to the door and led the way out while Carolyn sank back into her work groove.
Ellen leaned against the doorjamb outside the lab. "Do you have any particular sweet cravings today or should I just go with my gut?"
"Hah, probably go with your gut." I found myself trying to see if anything had changed about her, she didn't seem to have the obvious agony that I did with modding, but she also wasn't really changing her hormones so much as switching from store-bought to home-grown.
"Right. Carrot cake for you, and German chocolate for Carolyn."
"You're a butt."
"Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll find something, I know Deyha won't let me bring back anything that would compromise your milk so it might not be mind-blowing but I'll do my best."
"Thanks." I did my best cute smile. "How did the whole 'real food' excursion thing come about anyways?"
"It was my idea, I guess. Deyha would never justify the trip just for herself, so when I dropped some hints that Max and I would be interested I sorta gently guided her toward the idea."
"Of course it was mind-games."
Ellen shrugged. "Pretty harmless fun, I'd say. Besides, Deyha is smart, she probably knew I was fishing for the suggestion. Regardless, we're going to a deli/bakery today."
"Did you get requests from Thad and Jake?"
Ellen shook her head. "It's their favorite haunt for dates, so they are there all the time anyways. I will take requests from you though."
"Uhhh… I'll text you if I think of anything."
"Cool." Ellen embraced me before turning back to the lab. "Thanks again for the coffee." She gestured with her cup as she backed through the door.
"Mhmm~"
I headed for the back door on autopilot. I didn't like that they hadn't bothered to invite me at all. Sure, I could understand the logic, but the feeling that everyone but me was included didn't really care so much that it logically made sense.
It hurt. And I hated it, and the pain and insecurity seemed to stick on the inside of my chest, poking painfully at my heart while my mood spiraled.
I was appreciated. Carolyn and Ellen were happy to see me, but they didn't want me along for the lunch trip. Carolyn wanted to have lunch in the barn with me today, but it was probably out of pity because most of my other friends would be away.
I nearly dropped my plates and cups as I found Deyha at the door of the clinic.
"Oh, hey babygirl." Deyha took the top of the stack off of my hands. "I was just coming to find you."
"Find… me? Here?"
"Yeah, figured this is about where you'd be in your rounds. Are you headed to the barn?" the cups clattered as she gestured behind her and we both did a little check to make sure nothing would fall.
"Yeah, uh… what's up? Ellen told me the omnivores are going on a field trip today."
"Hah, yeah that's one way of putting it. Did you want to come?"
"I'm not an omnivore so I wouldn't really be able to eat anything. Besides, I wasn't exactly invited."
"Huh." Deyha reached with her elbow to bump the automatic door button. "I mean, I kinda just invited you, and also I told Ellen she should invite you as well… However, she was confident that you wouldn't be interested given-- I mean you covered up pretty obsessively when we went to the farmers market together and it would only be more uncomfortable now with it being warmer out."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have waaaay too many reasons not to come. I just wanted to be invited I guess."
"Weird of her to misread that situation. I'll let her know--"
"No, don't. I mean, she was right wasn't she? I don't actually want to go. And wanting to be invited just so I can say no is super irrational."
Deyha shrugged. "Rationality isn't exactly a metric of validity. Besides, I had an idea. Ellen pointed out that there is a convention coming up in a few months and it's almost Renaissance fair season too. Those could be good outings where any attention you get will be more likely to be unambiguously positive?"
"That does sound pretty nice." I backed through the kitchen door and headed for the sink. "I wonder if there are any characters I could dress up as."
"It's worth exploring." Deyha set the dishes she had down next to mine and leaned on the counter. "So is there anything you want us to bring back for you? Any cravings that have gone unfilled for the last year?"
"I haven't been here a year. And honestly I try not to think about things I wish I could have. I've taken to the cellulose diet anyways so I'm not sure I'd even enjoy a fettuccine alfredo even if I allowed myself to break my diet to have some. Doesn't quite seem worth it."
"Do you have dinner plans?"
I blinked as I tried to follow the obviously relevant but weirdly random question. "Noooo?"
"Cool. You do now then."
"Where are we going?"
Deyha shrugged. "I'll figure it out."
"Should I wear anything in particular?"
"Whatever is comfortable."
"So nothing at all? Excellent."
Deyha laughed. "We both know Carolyn hasn't quite corrupted you to that point, but sure. If that's what you end up wanting to do."
"I should have known you would call my bluff. Either way, I'm looking forward to this mystery date."
"Mmmm I'm glad. Well, I should get going to clean up before lunch." Deyha leaned in to give me one last kiss before leaving me alone in the kitchen.
I heard Ellen's voice at the door "Oh! Hey, sorry."
"It's fine, you're good" Deyha chuckled as they awkwardly negotiated who should pass first.
Ellen skipped up and embraced me from behind while I began washing the dishes.
"Hey babe." She kissed the back of my ear and I flicked her in the face with it as she giggled. "I know I didn't invite you to the omnivore excursion but you should totally come."
I rolled my eyes. "It's fine Ellen, you were right to think I wouldn't be interested."
"No it's not that, I mean, I'm sorry to hear that but I really think you should come anyways."
"Why the change of heart?"
"Max convinced Xander to come along and also asked me to convince you."
"So you want me to come because Max wants me there?" I couldn't help but feel a little bitterness return to my tone.
"Yes… well actually no. Kinda. Not in the way you mean it."
"Uh huh." I leaned into the sink to scrub at the dried-on schmutz from Carolyn's past meals. It was hard not to be distracted by the feeling of my tail brushing against the insides of Ellen's legs.
"I want you to come because I have a very good feeling why Max wants you there."
"And that is?"
"I'm ninety percent sure she wants it to be a surprise."
I shook my head. "I'm afraid that's not going to cut it for me."
"Okay, okay. I think she's going to do some big reveal, like a new name. I don't think she's so deranged as to think her relationship status would be any sort of news, but I apologize in advance if the whole event is just Max and Xander coming out as 'roommates' quotation marks." she did air quotes in front of me before resuming holding me around the waist.
"And I suppose if you fail to convince me she's just going to come and whine to me herself?"
"In all likelihood, yeah."
"Damn it." I grumbled and began to rinse the plates. "I was actually kinda looking forward to lunch with Carolyn."
"Then you should have two lunches!" Ellen began to sway side to side now. "You know she's the worst about remembering meal breaks so we'll just bring back food for her and you can go on a little picnic this afternoon."
"Fiiiine." I decided to vent all the put-upon feelings now before I ended up making Max think being her friend was an inconvenience. "I'll put together some snacks to tide Carolyn over then."
"Okay, but be quick because we wanna head out in like thirty minutes."
"Can you go arrange a disguise for me?"
"Oh, I have just the thing." Ellen was gone and out the door in an instant, leaving me with yet another foreboding feeling about what mischief she could cause with my wardrobe choices.
"I can't believe you've done this." I said for what must have been the dozenth time, but, as usual, the behavior of my loved ones made such statements bear repeating.
"Look at it this way." Ellen leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I guarantee nobody is going to notice your hooves."
I grumbled and resisted the urge to fidget with the straps of this dress again. We were already a little behind schedule from how much I had dragged my hooves getting dressed, so I'd have to woman up and trust Ellen's god forsaken process.
The 'process' that I was trusting today was a dress. A new dress covered in lovely little sunflowers that I would otherwise be over the moon for if it didn't gamble all my decency on two itty bitty straps. It was basically a bra that someone had sewed a very long skirt onto, which was probably for the best given how much support I needed, but what wasn't for the best was the fact that I was basically spilling out of the cups that were designed to show off as much of my chest as possible.
Objectively it was extremely cute and fairly modest, but I had a hard time believing any amount of praise or fawning would convince me to wear it again.
For now though, I accepted it.
Carolyn, Ellen, and Deyha had evidently conspired on this outfit complete with a purse and a hat. Rather than tucking my ears under some sort of beret, their plan had been to have a hat designed to camouflage them. A gigantic crochet sunflower, almost matching the colors of my dress but more importantly blending browns and yellows under the brim to match the reddish brown of my ear-fuzz. The crown of the hat was green so the full effect was if someone had trimmed a sunflower just below the bloom and plopped it on my head petals down.
It was way more comfortable than cramming my head into a beret would be and though it was on the heavy side for a hat it was already one of my most prized possessions.
I eyed the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign as we filed into the little cafe. If I was going to go on many other outings I'd have to 3D print something to make it look like I was wearing shoes, or worse, wear shoes.
"You can sit anywhere you'd like!" The older lady behind the counter gestured to the booths lined up beside the windows.
"Dibs on the window seat." I made my way to the nearest booth, but I paused when Ellen slipped into the seat I was planning on taking.
"Interesting choice." she said. "I suppose if you want everyone to gawk through the window~"
"I do not draw that much attention." I hissed under my breath, but I opted to sit beside her anyways.
"I'll pull up a chair." Deyha, ever the bastion of confidence, had her tail out today. I worried about her getting stepped on or tripping someone up having it out in the aisle, but she set the chair down next to me and angled herself so that she wasn't really sitting with her legs under the table.
Max lingered at the bakery counter for a minute while Xander situated herself in the booth across from me.
"Do you folks know what you want to drink?" The lady who greeted us earlier passed out menus and put a small pile of silverware bundles in the middle of the table. "Oh! Are you all visiting from that farm up the road? I must confess the rumor mill has been going wild about that place."
I grimaced, and saw the same discomfort mirrored in Xander's expression, but Deyha seemed unphased.
"All good things I hope." She smiled, and in any other situation I'd say it was a perfectly kind smile, but I couldn't help but notice her teeth, which had not been replaced since her mods switched.
"Well they say that a dragon runs the clinic." the waitress continued in an awed whisper. "Can you imagine?"
Deyha chuckled. "That would be my wife."
"Oh!" her eyes flew wide. "The rumors were that she was married to a minotaur, but I can see that someone let their imagination run away. Anyways, I'm so sorry to be a gossip. We're very glad you came out to visit us today… Did I ask about drinks? What can I get started for you today?"
"Water." Xander and I spoke just out of sync, and the waitress scribbled on her pad as Deyha and Ellen ordered tea and diet cola respectively.
Finally, Max slid into the booth and ordered a water before we were left with the menus.
"Well. That could have gone worse." I took the hat off and folded it up to stuff in my purse for now. It seemed silly to continue wearing it indoors if the whole ruse was up anyways.
Deyha rubbed my back, and I shivered as goosebumps raced over my skin. Touch was a drug already, and the skin to skin contact was practically heroin. I curled in on myself as she scratched gently with her fingernails. Nothing mattered outside the single sensation, but just as quickly as it had begun, Deyha took her hand back.
"Are you okay?" Deyha leaned toward the table to catch my eye.
"Mm? Oh, yes. Totally. What, did you say something?"
"If I didn't know you, I'd swear you just pretended to check out of reality to be cute and funny."
My skin warmed under the teasing, but I fixated on the 'cute' and 'funny' part of the accusation. That was totally fine.
The waitress returned and passed out drinks. "Are we ready to order? Or do you need another moment to think?"
I took a sip of my water and winced as a drop of condensation fell on my chest. I tried to be subtle about wiping the area as everyone else stacked the menus.
"Uhhhh, wait. Deyha? Can you choose for me?"
"Sure, sure."
Ellen, apparently inspired by Deyha, took over rubbing my back as the rest of the table ordered. Perhaps if I had developed some modicum of self control over the last few months I'd have practiced and gotten better at focusing, but as it was I felt it was all I could do to rest my elbows on the table and wait for Ellen to get tired of petting me.
I opted to fold my hands under my chin and look out the window past Ellen while everyone ordered.
The waitress had moved on when Ellen's hand paused on my back. "Did you remember your nursing pads?"
"Oh god damn it." I grumbled and folded my arms over the vaguely damp patches. "No. Usually I would have just done an extraction around this time and I was in such a rush…"
"It's okay, it's okay." Ellen spoke in soothing tones. "Let's go to the bathroom."
Deyha repositioned to let us out of the booth and I struggled to act natural as Ellen took my hand and headed for the restroom.
Ellen didn't hesitate, leading me toward the women's room. I didn't resist, but my heart hammered in my chest all the same. This was the first time I'd ever set hoof into any women's bathroom.
Well, that wasn't quite true, but my summer job as a school janitor didn't really count. The farm was all unisex as far as facilities were concerned so this just helped drive home how much had changed since I began this whole adventure.
I tried to stifle further objections as Ellen commandeered the handicap stall and hung her bag up on the door hook.
"We really shouldn't be in here."
Ellen laughed and shook her head. "We are not going to the men's bathroom."
"No, I mean in this stall."
Ellen rolled her eyes. "Are you really going to insist on squeezing into the smaller stall?"
"Actually… yeah…"
"Fiiiiine." She collected her bag and we moved a stall over. "Better?"
"For my conscience? Yes."
Ellen groaned and shook her head. "You're so lawful. But fine." She opened her bag and pulled out a couple menstrual pads.
"Seriously?"
"Necessity is the mother of invention." Ellen dug around further and pulled out a full size pair of scissors.
"What do you even have those for?"
Ellen chuckled as she unwrapped a pad and cut a wing off. "The scissors or the pads?"
"Both I guess."
"Well, the answer is the same either way. I have them in case someone needs them. Scissors in particular are a damn useful thing to have around and I much prefer having them on hand rather than a pocket knife."
"Okay…"
Ellen held out the pad. "Well? Let's see how it works, yeah?"
I tried to push a strap off my shoulder but I felt like I was straining the fabric. "Can you unzip me a little? I don't want to tear anything."
"Sure, sure." The pad she was holding tickled my back as she pulled the zipper half way down and I maneuvered the straps off my shoulders.
"You think this will work?" I frowned at the half-dollar sized damp spots on the dress. Even if this helped, it seemed a bit late.
"It will probably be uncomfortable, but I guarantee you'd be far more miserable with gigantic wet spots on the front of your dress." Ellen's eyes trailed downward "Or, I could take a bit of the pressure off."
"You don't mean--"
"Oh, I very much mean." she squeezed past me, grazing my chest with hers as she passed, before folding down the toilet lid and taking a seat. "Here, sit in my lap."
"This is a terrible idea." I warned, but Ellen only nodded and patted her lap.
By the time we got back to the table our food was out.
At first I was disappointed to see what was obviously a salad waiting for me, but then I saw the contents. While it looked all green at a distance, up close I could tell it was only maybe a third composed of traditional leaves and was otherwise loaded with sliced apples, both red and green, as well as various nuts.
"I hope you aren't disappointed." Deyha patted my thigh as she settled back into her chair beside me.
"Not at all." I unwrapped my silverware and stabbed at a particularly dense clump of apples.
Beside me, Ellen looked a little glum staring at her food.
"Is something wrong, Ellen?" Deyha leaned forward to look past me and Ellen shrugged.
"I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach on this one. Besides, I want to save room for cake."
"Who said anything about cake?" Max sounded defensive, guilty even as she stared at Ellen.
"I was going to grab some to take back to Carolyn. Why? Did you have plans of your own?"
"I-- Well--" Max stammered as all eyes turned to her. "I might have already ordered a cake to take back…" she took a drink and then seemed to find something truly fascinating in her cup of water.
After a while I figured she wasn't going to elaborate further, so I decided to ask the important question. "Is there going to be enough to save some for Carolyn? And is there some occasion?"
"Uhhhh yeah probably." She continued to take great interest in her ice cubes as I debated whether to drag any sort of elaboration out of her.
I wanted to know what kind of cake, or whether she'd made sure it was vegetarian, but she was already really nervous.
"Did we want to do anything in town besides lunch?" I addressed the question mostly to Deyha but I saw Xander shaking her head 'no' out of the corner of my eye.
"I don't think so. We can probably go ahead and put in an order for food to take to Carolyn if you'd like."
"Fuck." I groaned and pulled out my phone. "I forgot to tell her I left. Do you know what she would like?"
"Yeah." Deyha rubbed my back in what she probably intended to be a soothing way. "I guess let her know we'll be back in half an hour or so."
I nodded and amended the message. It was hard to avoid saying "sorry" at least once, and given recent events I wasn't even sure I wanted to. The idea of presenting myself to be bitten was oddly attractive today.
"Rose?" the waitress returned holding a boxed sheet cake. "Is one of you Rose?" I shook my head and so did Deyha, but Max's face was bright red now.
"Sorry." She raised her hand. "Yeah, that's me."
There was a small shuffle of plates as Xander cleared space and Deyha ordered some food for Carolyn.
"God damn it." Max grumbled as the waitress departed. She turned the box so the lid faced toward me and pulled it open.
Inside, a cake had been decorated to say "congrats Rose!" In red cursive, with a bunch of frosting flowers interspersed throughout. Though for some reason none of them looked like roses. That seemed like a missed opportunity.
"Well that surprise got ruined a few different ways." Max- or evidently Rose- fussed with the edges of the cake box. "It's half chocolate, half vanilla. Vegan, of course, so that everyone can have some. I wanted to be cheeky about throwing a little name reveal party for myself but, well…" she looked at Ellen. "I don't think I was very subtle."
"Yeah…" Ellen scratched the back of her head. "That was unfortunate but uh… congrats Rose." Ellen shrugged.
"Thanks." Rose closed the cake box and rubbed her eyes.
"What made you choose 'Rose'?" I rested my chin on my hands, giving her my undivided attention to prolong the flustered bumbling she sometimes did.
"Oh, I just…" she stole a sideways glance at Xander. "I wanted something floral."
"Because bees like flowers?" Ellen leaned back into the corner of the booth, not so subtly glancing between Rose and Xander.
"Bees are cute." Rose grumbled and Xander nudged her shoulder affectionately.
"Speaking of cute, have you given any thoughts to some possible modding?" I asked.
"A little, yeah. I mostly would want practical stuff to help with the gardening tasks. I'm not particularly interested in producing milk but Carolyn and I are workshopping some other ideas."
"Liiiiike?" I leaned forward further but Rose only retreated.
"I don't have any specifics, so it's all going to be after Ellen has her stuff figured out."
"Oh." I frowned. "Yeah, I'm sorry about the delays. I mean, I don't know what all gender expression modding you'd want to do so maybe some of it could be outsourced before Carolyn does the practical bits?"
Rose shrugged. "Maybe."
I waited for her to say more; about her name, mods, gender, fucking anything really, but she just stared glumly at the cake box.
"Well" Deyha stood and returned her chair to the table she'd borrowed from. "I'm gonna go pay the check and grab Carolyn's food. Are we all set here?"
My salad was half gone at most, and Ellen hadn't touched her egg salad sandwich, but neither struck me as the sort of thing that keeps well for leftovers.
"Damn it." Ellen muttered. She took a bite of one half and wrapped the other in a napkin and handed it to me.
I hesitated before accepting it. "I can't eat this…"
"I know, I know. Can you put it in your purse? I don't want them to think I hated the sandwich. Besides, maybe I'll eat some in the car."
"Uh huh." I weighed the syllables with all the doubt I could muster. "Just don't make yourself sick."