Soaking
Once I was satisfied with my post-breeding cuddles, Carolyn dragged me out of bed for a bath. Deyha had already gone ahead to check that the water was warming back up, so I let myself be a little sluggish as I used the bathroom and brushed my teeth.
I watched the mirror image of myself with a disconnected sort of interest. Intuitively I knew for a fact it was a true reflection, but I absolutely did not see myself there on any deeper level. It was weird to notice that the feeling persisted. I’d spent my life growing to hate my reflection and then eventually just dissociating from it out of habit. I grew to rely so heavily on forgetting to hate myself just to function, and now I felt like I was seeing lasting scars from my decisions.
It wasn't fair. I didn’t dissociate to avoid working on myself, I did it because that was the best tool I had to survive. And now I felt like I didn't know how to look in the mirror. I wondered if it was already time to pump the breaks on Carolyn’s playground initiative. How would I ever take ownership of my body if I kept saying it was hers?
I tilted my head to the side, seeing the reflection mirror the action but not really feeling that I’d rotated my viewpoint. As though I’d left the camera behind. I knew it was just my body's way of grounding what I saw with what I felt in terms of the pull of gravity, but it added another layer of wrongness to the whole situation.
Did it matter how much of my face was familiar to me? My cheeks had rounded out, and Carolyn had made tiny adjustments to my nose, jaw, and brow to match, but even knowing that the changes were so subtle, I couldn’t point out how they actually made my brain register the reflection as girly.
The girl in the mirror wasn’t my type at all. She was the girl I wanted to be, sure, but gazing at her curves didn’t light any small fires in me. The worst part was probably seeing that disinterest reflected right back at me.
Carolyn appeared behind the reflection, tucking her head into the shoulder of the other girl as I felt her wrap her arms around me.
“Is something wrong?”
I shrugged. “Nothing I could put a finger on. I think I just need therapy.”
“What? Why?”
I gestured at the mirror. “Because I can't rationalize that as me. I’m trying, but I think I'm doing it wrong somehow.”
“That sounds horrifying…”
I shrugged again. “It's not scary to me I suppose. It's been years since I got in the habit of treating my reflection like it was someone else. On good days I could convince myself I was looking at a friend, but I don’t recognize her right now.”
Carolyn squeezed me gently. “Its your body–”
I laughed, startling her as my shoulders shook.
“What's so funny?”
“Our body.” I held out my hands like the communist bugs bunny meme. “I don't know, it just kinda cracks me up for it to be my body but also your body… so the logical conclusion seems to be that it's ours.”
“Oh Maddie.” Carolyn sighed. “Your humor is truly broken.”
“Mhmm!” I turned around, putting the reflection behind me for the moment. “Are there any good queer-friendly therapists in the area?”
“We’ll find you something. For now, let's get you cleaned up.”
I nodded and let her lead me back to the main bedroom. I collected my plaid flannel robe and wrapped it around myself, focusing on the soft fabric against my skin as I situated it on my shoulders and cinched the belt with a bow.
Back on the evening when I'd received my collar we hadn't worried about pre-washing or any other bath-house etiquette, Deyha had even poured a bunch of soap in to make it a bubble bath, no doubt gumming up the filter and throwing the chemicals out of whack.
This time I took care to shower thoroughly, carefully inspecting the freshly messed fur to make sure nothing sticky had gotten caught. I'd have to get one of those hand brushes that are specifically designed for washing pets, but that was an issue for another day.
As if reading my mind, Deyha peeked over the stall. "Special delivery!" she held out a brush, the kind with loops to put your fingers through rather than a long handle.
"Thanks!" I slipped it over my fingers. "Is there a particular method I should use?"
"I brush in circles for lathering and straight lines while rinsing, but it's up to your preference."
"Makes sense." I set about shampooing my legs. I figured I'd need to pick up some bulk strawberry shampoo just to keep anyone else from correlating my scent with any particular state I might be in, though I had no doubt Xander would figure it out first. Carolyn would drop hints, just to make sure the appropriate number of people could tease me at any given time.
It felt like it was forever before I was finished cleaning up, and I wondered how long Deyha and Carolyn had been soaking before I joined them. I sat on the edge, turning to swing my legs over and then lower myself into the hot water.
"This is nice. Is there a chore chart somewhere to rotate out who cleans it each… I don't know if weekly is actually enough. I'm curious how maintenance goes for this."
"No chart." Deyha spoke. "It's just one of the things I maintain around here."
"It's spotless! You've been cleaning this all along?"
"Xander took over while I was in the clinic." Deyha lifted a foot out of the water, and flexed her talons. "I'm gonna need to figure out some new PPE though, Claws are gonna be a bitch to keep from tearing out."
"What were you using before?"
"I have waterproof hoof covers, they're like rain boots but sized for hooves."
"Well then I'll use those. Show me how to do the cleaning and we'll come up with a schedule of some sort."
"I still need to manage the chemicals and filters."
"Then we'll make sure the schedules match."
Carolyn spoke up, "I don't think she's going to let this go, Deyha."
Deyha squinted at me. "Yeah, I'm getting that impression as well."
"You're both workaholics, sue me for wanting you to have down time."
"I'm glad you're so willing to help." Carolyn slumped in the pool, letting her head rest on the towel that was rolled up behind her head. "It would be kinda insane for Deyha and I to go out recruiting people and then just end up with more work."
"To be fair, I am also a lot of work."
Carolyn chuckled. "Aren't we all?"
“Speaking of work, we should discuss the whole children thing while I'm not blissed out of my mind.”
“Oh?” Deyha smirked. “You don't want to make important family planning decisions while under the influence?”
I made a small splash in her direction, "That's exactly what I don't want to do. I’d like you to reaffirm what you meant, preferably without using the sort of language that sets me off.”
Carolyn chuckled. “Mission impossible. I'll start then, I was never going to go for a kid when it was just Deyha and me. I honestly just don't want to make my life about nurturing the next generation, so I figured I’d be the best weird aunt I could be. You know first hand I am ready to shower a baby with love, but I am not seeking out kids, and I doubt I ever would.”
Deyha nodded. “And since families are the kind of thing that needs to be unanimous, I never really brought it up. I do want a family. This farm is a wonderful step in that direction, and we are filling it with the weird we want to see in the world, but I want there to be kids too.” She turned to me.
“Oh. I– ugh. It's hard to place my feelings on the subject. Like, in isolation, all the reasons I could want a kid seem really bad. I definitely have a breeding kink, my self esteem is still low enough that I’ll self-destruct to be liked and valued, and worst of all I'm insecure enough in my gender identity that I’d also do it just to be perceived as a ‘real’ woman. I’m basically just full of bad reasons to be a mom.”
“It's good that you can recognize that.” Carolyn murmured.
Deyha shushed and waved Carolyn off. “So it's definitely not the right time. That's okay.”
“I just don't expect it to get better. Maybe my self esteem and insecurities will improve, but the breeding stuff is already not a joke to me. Just saying you wanted me to carry your child was all it took to completely win me over, and I fully intend to beg incessantly until you really do knock me up.”
Carolyn pursed her lips. “I feel like it's important to clarify a couple points here… the only way Maddie will carry a child is if an egg is fertilized in a lab, and even then you would be one of the first people in history to conceive with a womb that you were not born with. Sure, in vitro is totally an option in theory, but it doesn't take much to end up with a child that has very special needs.
I frowned. "So earlier when you said that I could bear a child, you lied?"
"I didn't mean to, but back then I was a lot more confident in my ability to produce form-fit-function replacement anatomy, can you blame me for having my faith shaken in the last few months?"
"No, I don't blame you." I sank into the water, smirking as my breasts began to float "I'm sorry for projecting my disappointment onto you."
Carolyn sighed and stood up. I watched, transfixed as the water ran off her scales in little winding paths. It wasn't until she was climbing into my lap that I realized my mistake.
"Hey! Wait!" I cowered into the corner of the pool as she straddled my lap.
"Hold still." Carolyn warned as she wrapped her arms around me.
I gasped as she sank her teeth into the flesh of my shoulder, pairing the sensation with nails digging into my back as she pressed against me. I went limp, save for a few involuntary shudders as she gradually increased the pressure.
She released me, licking the spot as had become her habit before sitting back.
"You're going to end up getting the bath water dirty." I whined.
"From saliva? You're kidding."
"No…" I avoided her gaze. By now I had a pretty good feeling for when I was getting aroused, and I had also learned what those happy chemicals did for milk extraction.
"Oh my." Carolyn purred, no doubt noticing the leakage I'd predicted.
"Ugh." Deyha groaned. "I'll close the bath for the evening when we're done and shock the water overnight."
"Well if keeping the water clean is a lost cause–"
"I didn't say that." Deyha interjected, but Carolyn was already massaging my chest, clouding the water between us with my milk.
"Deyhaaaaa." I whined. "Carolyn is bullying me."
The room echoed with splashes as I pushed Carolyn off of me, and Deyha swooped in to catch her and hold her off.
"Hurray." I deadpanned. "I'm free."
"Oh, I wouldn't say 'free'–" Deyha set Carolyn down and approached me. "More like, under new management."
I scrambled up onto the edge of the bath, but Deyha caught my legs before I could turn to get out.
"You have been making a mess.–" She pulled me into her arms, lifting me easily and leaving me no option but to wrap my arms around her neck. "–and I don't take kindly to people leaving messes for me."
"It's not my fault!" I whined. I could already feel her cock as it bumped against me. "I'll clean it up."
She set me down on the far edge of the bath where there wasn't a built-in bench underwater. I squirmed and shimmied to get my tail out from under me as Deyha rested her hands on my hips.
"I think the prevailing wisdom when trying for kids is that persistence is key."
"And the definition of insanity is trying the same thing–"
"No it isn't." Carolyn cut me off. "Keep cumming in her gay ass, Deyha. I believe in you."
"Doctor's orders." Deyha smirked at me.
"No," I looked between the two of them, "No, we are not doing anal today."
"Well if that's the only restriction…" Deyha was pressed against my entrance now, not seeming to care if she had the angle or not.
"It is NOT the only restriction, I've done enough research to know that underwater sex just washes away all the lubricant and ends up hurting."
"Not underwater, not in the ass, anything else?" Deyha rubbed the tops of my thighs, very effectively preventing me from coming up with a counter-argument or even a response.
"Fine! Fine–" I pushed Deyha back so that I could drop back down into the water, and waded across to steal Carolyn's head-rest towel.
"Hey!"
I ignored her protest, soaking it completely for good measure before laying it out where Deyha had sat me down a moment ago. With a little hop, I managed to lay over the edge of the tub. This wall of the bath was thicker than the others, presumably to cover whatever filters, pumps, or heaters that were necessary to make the whole thing function. The tile that wasn't cushioned by the towel was pleasantly warm against my chest and hands as I gripped the far edge of the lip. I kicked my legs playfully as I heard Deyha and Carolyn chuckle at my antics.
"Who could deny such an invitation?" Deyha rubbed my lower back before squeezing my sides and pressing into me.
I gasped as she bottomed out, her palms pressed into my back as she groaned. All the weight being on my stomach made Deyha feel so much larger than she had earlier. And the fact that I couldn't quite touch the bottom of the bath with my hooves made the whole ungrounded sensation all the more consuming. I heard splashing and footsteps as Carolyn climbed out, and she sat by my elbow.
"Our baby is so well trained.–" she cooed as Deyha made a second agonizingly slow thrust. "Such a good girl, presenting herself for breeding."
Carolyn rubbed my back, alternating using her fingertips and nails as she traced random patterns. "Who could have known that she would blossom into such an obedient little cow?"
"Carolynnn" I whined.
"What? Am I wrong?" She ran her fingers up my neck, combing into my hair as I let my head fall forward. "You're a very good cow. You make the most delicious milk, you take Deyha's cock without the slightest complaint, and you leap at the opportunity to be bred at the mere suggestion of children."
I struggled to breathe as Deyha increased her pace, pulling at my hips for purchase as she made much deeper thrusts than she had before.
"So fucking tight…" Deyha grunted, punctuating the comment with a wet slap of her hips against my backside.
Meanwhile, Carolyn tugged at my hair, lifting my head to look at her. "It won't be too much longer before her horns are big enough to grab." she mused. "We should probably start working on her gag reflex now just so she will be ready. Oh, I have so many ideas! With a bit of testing, we could have her laying massive eggs, I bet that would feel a bit like being pregnant. It would give her a nice baby bump, and she could get some practice in and everything! It wouldn't have to be a hard shell, and I bet she could churn out a five pound egg every couple months with the right diet."
"You have a strange idea of sex talk, Lynn." Deyha muttered as she slowed her pace.
I whined and kicked my hooves weakly as she pulled out.
"I know babygirl," Deyha rubbed my lower back, "Just give me a moment."
I caught my breath and propped myself up on my elbows, craning around to see what the distraction was. Deyha pulled Carolyn into a kiss, dragging her back toward the bath and repositioning her to sit beside me with her feet in the water.
"You've been terrorizing Maddie." she murmured to Carolyn.
"Mmmm only a little." she sighed as Deyha ran her hands down to her hips.
"I think you're acting out because you feel neglected."
"No, I– hey!" Carolyn cut off as Deyha pulled her to sit at the very edge. "Deyha‽" Carolyn gasped as Deyha lined herself up and pressed in, seeming to slide in easily.
"What's wrong Lynn?" Deyha taunted. "Not so easy to sass when the dick is in the other cunt now, is it?"
"That's… so stupid." Carolyn gasped
Deyha thrust again, bottoming out in her as Carolyn whined and folded in on her.
"I'm going to fuck that attitude out of you."
"You can fuck– Ah~ the awful jokes while you're at ~Ah!" she trailed off, seeming to lose the thread as Deyha had her way.
I slipped back into the warm water, enjoying the show as Carolyn's composure melted away. The dignified and sassy persona was completely gone, replaced by needy cries as Deyha held her.
I couldn't look away, I knew exactly how it felt to be at Deyha's mercy like this, and while I absolutely wished it was me right now, I felt so happy seeing Carolyn sharing in the joy I felt. They were good together, to the point where It felt a little absurd that they wanted me, but I already knew to toss out that feeling. They loved each other this much and they loved me.
I considered what I could be doing right now to make either of them feel any better, but I was coming up blank. I didn't want to get in the way, and while I was certain they wouldn't get mad at me for stepping in, the fact was this wasn't about me. It wasn't even about Carolyn feeling left out, even if that was the excuse that Deyha gave.
Carolyn's cries reverberated in the small room, nearly drowning out the splashing as Deyha's movement weakened. Finally she stopped altogether, pulling Carolyn off the edge and stepping back to sit down against the opposite edge of the pool.
Carolyn sighed as she melted into Deyha's chest. "I should have deleted your mods ages ago."
Deyha chuckled, rubbing Carolyn's back. "All thanks to Maddie I suppose."
"Excuse you," Carolyn sat up. "I worked my ass off designing this dick."
"With credits to you as well, of course." Deyha rolled her eyes. "But you know as well as I do that this was never going to happen without her."
"That's not– there's no way…" I stammered.
"No," Carolyn sighed, "She's right. Without you there to glue us together… I hate to think of how broken things would have ended up." She turned back to Deyha. "It would have taken many more years, and by then the pain and secrets probably would have consumed our love until there was nothing left."
"That's just lucky–"
Deyha looked at me and held out her hand. "Come here, Maddie."
"Okay…" I waded over to sit next to her and she pulled me close.
Carolyn leaned over to kiss my forehead and they both winced.
"Ooo- Ow." Deyha muttered and lifted Carolyn off her lap.
"What? What happened?"
"You were right about underwater sex, painfully sticky. Anyways, that's beside the point.–" Deyha took my hands and held them up. "You being here makes this a family."
"And we will keep saying it until you believe us." Carolyn added. "So don't bother arguing."
"I think you're both blowing a small impact way out of proportion."
"How would you know anything about your impact?" Deyha laughed. "You became family basically the moment you arrived. You have no baseline, no 'before' to compare to the present."
"How is it that every time you guys say nice things to me it inevitably circles back to calling me dumb?"
Carolyn cackled. "Because only an idiot would think so little of herself."
"See?" I looked at Deyha and gestured at Carolyn "Do you see how I might get a mixed message there?"
"The concepts of how dumb and beloved you can be are not remotely incompatible." Carolyn stated. "Get loved, idiot."
"I don't have to stand for this–"
"You're sitting." Deyha pointed out, and before I could get up to refute her she pulled me into her lap. "I love you, Maddie." She kissed my cheek.
I glared at her. "I love you too, jerk." I turned to Carolyn. "And the same goes for you, lizard."
I shook in Deyha's lap as she laughed. She provided no resistance as Carolyn pulled at me.
"Oh you're asking for it now." she dunked me under water.
I coughed and sputtered as I recovered and scrambled for the edge.
"Easy with the horseplay." Deyha warned.
"I'm a cow!" I corrected as I wiped my eyes and spat.
"You're bleating like a little goat." Carolyn fired back.
"Okay" Deyha stood and stepped out of the tub. "Bathtime is over, out."
"Way to go Carolyn." I drawled sarcastically as I climbed over the edge of the bath.
"Truly, you two bring out the best and worst in each other." Deyha stepped out after me and shook her legs. "Go get dressed, I'll show you how to clean the tile surfaces."
"Okie dokie." I stuck out my tongue at Carolyn, delighting in her indignant stammering as I escaped to a shower stall to rinse off.