How to Ruin a Romantic Comedy

“…I don’t know.”

That was our conversation as we stood blankly in the room, staring at the traces of our lovemaking scattered about.

The duvet was fine, having been tossed aside mid-act, and the pillows, though damp with sweat, were in good shape.

The bed cover, however, absolutely had to be washed.

But if we carried it out of the room, Miyuki’s family was very likely to see it.

This is exactly why I didn’t want to do it here… It’s my fault for not resisting that moment of temptation.

Then again, would anyone who could see Miyuki’s body and hold back even be human?

I was just acting rationally.

So I told myself, chalking it up as a mental win.

“Should I crack the door open, and if no one’s there, make a run for the bathroom and hand-wash it?”

“The detergent and stuff is in the laundry room, though… The laundry soap, too…”

“We’ll just have to use regular soap. Or, you could sneak out and grab the detergent while I start washing.”

“N-No way… Especially since…”

Miyuki’s voice trailed off as her gaze fell to her lower body.

She was wearing shorts that were soaked through in the middle.

Unable to bring herself to put on panties that were even wetter than her shorts, she was currently going commando.

“Matsuda-kun…! Don’t look at me like that…!”

I nodded, having been checking out Miyuki’s lower half with a lewd gaze.

“Alright.”

“Even in a situation like this… I can’t believe you…”

Isn’t it better than trying to hide it?

“So, what’s the plan?”

“Umm… Ah…!”

Miyuki clapped her hands as if she’d had a good idea, then brought her nose to my body.

After a few sniffs, she said,

“Mom and Dad don’t usually come looking for me if I’m not in my room… And you, Matsuda-kun, you’re not as…”

Miyuki gasped.

It seemed she was about to say I wasn’t as disheveled as she was, but was suddenly hit by a wave of embarrassment.

Her eyes darted around for a moment before she quickly continued.

“Y-You’re in better shape than I am, so go downstairs first and hang out for a bit. I’ll wash the cover and duvet while I shower and come down after. If Mom and Dad ask where I am, just tell them I went to take a shower.”

“What if they get suspicious and ask why you’re suddenly showering?”

“It’s hot today, so… it should be fine. I do this often…”

“I smell like sweat, too.”

“You only smell good…”

I lifted my arm and put my nose to my armpit.

Miyuki let out a dry laugh at my action.

“I’m serious, you don’t smell.”

“Okay, but… I feel gross, too. Wouldn’t it be better if we just went together, washed it quickly, and got out?”

“But I have to shower…!”

“So shower. You shower, and I’ll do the laundry.”

“There’s only one bathroom on the second floor…”

“So?”

Miyuki was stunned by my nonchalant suggestion that we shower together.

I could see her face turning red in real-time as she stared at me, mouth agape with a look of utter disbelief.

“Are you crazy…? No way…”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean, why not?! No means no… For now, you go out first and check if the hallway is clear. I’ll start taking off the cover…”

With that, Miyuki carefully pulled at the bed cover.

She stuffed the duvet and her underwear inside, bundling it up like a sack, then frowned when she saw me just standing there.

“What are you doing…?”

“I was watching you.”

“Why…?”

“Just because.”

“…J-Just hurry up and check…”

Agreeing, I opened the door ever so quietly.

Peeking my head through the small crack, I scanned the hallway. I could faintly hear Midori-san and Wataru-san talking on the first floor.

Kana… is probably in her room.

“No one’s here.”

“Should I go now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay… Oh, and Matsuda-kun. Th-There… your…”

Miyuki’s gaze shifted to my crotch.

It seemed she wanted to ask if I’d cleaned up properly… A laugh escaped me.

“I wiped it clean. Right in front of you.”

“…I-I didn’t see… A-Anyway, you go first… I’ll follow you…”

“Wait a second.”

I turned to hug Miyuki, but stopped when I saw the bundle she was holding.

Realizing my intention, Miyuki gave a shy, bashful smile.

Then she said in a tiny voice,

“Hug me later…”

Unlawfully taken from NovelFire, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

I smirked at her, the licentious woman from moments ago completely gone. Then, without making a sound, I left the room.

I made eye contact with Miyuki on the stairs before heading down to the first floor.

…

“Midori-san.”

At my call, Midori-san, who had been staring intently at the Go board, looked up from contemplating her next move.

“Yes?”

“Wouldn’t it be good to play here? It seems like it would reduce the white stones’ territory and break their formation.”

“Really? Here?”

“Yes, right there.”

Midori-san placed a black stone where I pointed.

Wataru-san’s relaxed expression twisted into a grimace.

“Hey… Hey! I thought you said you didn’t know how to play Go?”

“I don’t.”

“But you saw that move?”

“Just a feeling…”

Seeing Wataru-san’s agitated reaction, a bright smile spread across Midori-san’s lips.

“Looks like you’ll be doing the grocery shopping tomorrow.”

“It’s not over yet… Just wait…”

As he started nervously shaking one leg, Midori-san chided him.

“Stop shaking your leg. You’ll shake all our money away.”

“…Matsuda, no more giving her hints from now on.”

“A minute ago you were telling Matsuda-kun to help me… Why are you so petty? Is beating a beginner like me that important to you?”

“I don’t want to go to the supermarket on the weekend.”

At least he’s honest.

In any case, judging by Wataru-san’s reaction, the move I saw must have been a critical one.

Is this the protagonist’s buff at work again?

Or is it really just beginner’s luck?

Probably the latter.

Go is a sport that uses your head, not your body.

It wouldn’t make sense for a blockhead like me to have a talent for Go, even if I’m physically capable.

“What are you guys doing? Playing Go?”

It was Miyuki, who had finished her shower and come downstairs at some point.

Midori-san, who had refocused on the game, scolded her.

“We have a guest over. What took you so long in the shower?”

Miyuki glanced at me and gave an awkward laugh.

“Well… I-It was hot, so while I was washing up…”

“Even so… isn’t that a bit too rude?”

I felt bad, like she was getting yelled at because of me.

Miyuki shot me a sullen glare before obediently apologizing.

“Sorry… We’re going to start studying again, so I’ll take Matsuda-kun with me.”

“Again? Why don’t you two just go hang out?”

“I can’t… I have to study hard so I don’t get a failing grade on the midterms…”

With that, Miyuki gestured for me to follow her.

Wataru-san welcomed my departure with open arms, while Midori-san looked disappointed. After excusing myself, I stood up and returned to the room with Miyuki.

The duvet was spread out on the wide-open windowsill, a fan was blasting at full speed inside the room…

And the bed cover was precariously draped over the spot on the wall where the clock used to hang…

There was even a hairdryer plugged into the outlet.

Looking at the scene Miyuki had prepared, I asked,

“This is how you’re planning to dry them?”

“What choice do I have…? Mom and Dad are on the first floor, so I can’t even go to the laundromat…”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay… We both wanted it…”

I pulled Miyuki into my arms and kissed the crown of her head, which smelled of sweet plums.

After that, we chatted while diligently working on drying the cover and duvet.

The weather was nice, but the wind was quite strong. Since the duvet and cover weren’t made of thick material and Miyuki had wrung them out well, it probably wouldn’t take too long to dry.

Though, knowing Miyuki’s personality, she’d probably run the washing machine once in the middle of the night anyway.

“What’s your sister up to?”

I asked while drying the cover with the hairdryer. Miyuki answered,

“I put my ear to her door after my shower… I couldn’t hear anything. I think she’s sleeping.”

Just as she said that with a sigh of relief,

Thump, thump!

“Miyuki! Let me borrow a book! Something that makes you think!”

Kana’s clear, ringing voice came from outside the door.

Right, it wouldn’t be complete without a cliché like this.

Startled, Miyuki looked at me.

After staring blankly for a short moment, she came to her senses and went to her desk.

While I gathered the cover and duvet, she pulled a few books from a shelf labeled [Detective Novels] and went to the door.

Click.

“H-Here, read all of these…”

Miyuki opened the door just a crack and handed the books over.

Kana took them and asked,

“Are you studying with Matsuda-kun?”

“…Yeah. We’re about to start…”

“I heard a hairdryer.”

“I was drying my hair…”

“Why were you drying your hair?”

“Because I just showered…”

“Why did you shower?”

“B-Because it was hot…”

“Want some fruit or snacks? Should I bring some?”

Kana’s expression, seen through the crack in the door, was bright as she spouted this nonsense.

Not just bright, but mischievous, like someone who wanted to tease.

Her voice was the same, full of playfulness.

‘She knows.’

She might not know we’d slept together, but she had definitely figured out that we did something naughty in here.

This just makes me more curious about her reaction.

It makes me want to say I’m sleeping over tonight.

“N-No, we don’t need any…”

“That’s a shame. Are you going to study now?”

“I told you we are…!”

“What are you studying?”

“W-Why do you care, sis?! It’s not like you’re going to study with us…”

“But I want to study, too.”

“What are you talking about?! Just go away…!”

Kana cackled at the flustered Miyuki, then said something cryptic about having a fun time before quietly closing the door.

“…I think she knows…”

Miyuki said, placing a hand on her chest as if to calm her pounding heart.

“Yeah. Looks like it.”

“What do we do…?”

I gave a gentle smile to Miyuki, who was worrying more than necessary.

“The way she was joking around, I don’t think she considers it a big deal. Just talk to her later, the two of you. I bet she’ll react much better than you think.”

“R-Really…?”

“I’m sure of it. And I’m sorry. For putting you in a difficult spot.”

As I offered another sincere apology, Miyuki’s expression softened.

She came closer, smoothed down my bangs, and said gently,

“It’s okay, really. I told you, we both wanted it…”

Pat.

As I was meeting Miyuki’s gaze, I turned my head at the sound of something hitting the windowsill.

It was raining.

A flash of light in the distance suggested it would soon start pouring…

It always seems to rain like this after Miyuki and I do something steamy.

Is there really something to it? For some reason, this rain feels like an identity for me and Miyuki, and it makes me feel good.

I wonder if Miyuki was thinking the same thing.

A smile on her lips, she closed the window and said,

“You’re not leaving until this is all dry.”

“Alright, got it. Should I continue, then?”

“Yeah. But don’t use the hairdryer.”

It seems Kana’s words had gotten to her.

I let out a light laugh and nodded, then spread the cover out in front of the fan.

Miyuki came and stuck close to my side, holding the duvet.

“Mom and Dad were playing Go earlier, right?”

“Yeah. They were betting on who has to go grocery shopping tomorrow.”

“They’re always like that. They end up going together no matter who wins.”

“I figured as much.”

“Anyway, since they’re focused on Go, they probably won’t come up for a while, right?”

“You’d know that better than me, wouldn’t you?”

“Why do you always have to be so contrary? Don’t be so irritable.”

“You said that earlier, too.”

At the mention of what happened when we were having sex, Miyuki’s head drooped.

Perhaps annoyed that I could say such things so casually, she lightly stepped on my foot with hers and pressed down.

As we bickered, I thought to myself.

I was glad things had gone so smoothly, without what you could even call a hitch.

Still, I should probably refrain from doing that kind of thing here from now on.

I don’t mind if Kana finds out, but it would be a bit awkward if Wataru-san and Midori-san did.

After somehow taking care of everything, I finally returned home in the evening and gulped down some water.

The rain was still coming down. As expected, it had gotten heavier.

If I don’t close the window, Miyuki will probably nag me again.

Matsuda-kun! I told you to close the window, why don’t you listen!

Imagining Miyuki scolding me, I closed the window and flopped down on my futon.

Miyuki said she was tired and going to bed early, so calling her felt like a bit much…

Should I go mess with Renka?

No, there’s something else I need to do right now.

And that is developing my relationship with Chinami.

As I’ve thought before, it’s up to me to create the events with Chinami.

So, what should I do?

Just like how I’d gone to the trouble of finding Miyuki during the break, I have to take the initiative and trigger an event.

I opened my messaging app to text Chinami, but my eyes widened when I saw her profile picture had changed.

(pic)

The gentle-looking peach character that had been the same every day was now wearing an angry expression.

This definitely means something has happened to Chinami.

This contrived, yet perfect timing, lining up exactly when I have free time…

If I see this and just brush it off, I’d be disqualified as a rom-com protagonist.

I immediately started a conversation with Chinami.

[Master, what are you up to?]

A reply came back a moment later.

[I’m out right now.]

[What are you doing out?]

[I’m in a bit of a predicament.]

I knew it.

[What kind of predicament?]

[The rain suddenly started coming down hard, so I’m stuck.]

[Can’t you take a bus or a taxi? Or buy an umbrella.]

[Hehe, I seem to have lost my crossbody bag with my wallet and transit card in it.]

Why are you saying that like you’re proud of it?

[You managed not to lose your phone, I see.]

[Because I was holding it in my hand.]

[I guess you don’t use mobile payments?]

[No… I should have registered a card.]

[Where are you now?]

[I’m in Ikebukuro.]

Why is she in a busy district all by herself?

I can ask that later. For now, I need to take care of Chinami.

[I’ll be there soon, so send me your location. I’ll give you a ride.]

[What? No, it’s okay. I can just look around the department store until it stops.]

Or you could call your parents.

Or ask a friend who lives nearby for help.

Whatever it is, I’ll make the first move.

[I checked the weather forecast. It’s supposed to pour all night.]

[Really?]

No, I didn’t actually check.

[Yeah. So send me your location. I’m free right now, so I’ll come get you.]

[Ah… Well, in that case, I’m really sorry, but… may I take you up on that?]

[Just get me a peach ice cream later.]

[Okay. I’ll get you two to show my thanks.]

It looks like today is going to be a day that feels like two.

Thanks for losing your crossbody bag, Chinami.

And thanks for being so clumsy.

I sent a silent thanks to Chinami, then got up from my futon and grabbed an umbrella.