How to Ruin a Romantic Comedy

“Matsuda-kun.”

Inside the nearly empty movie theater.

I was eating from a popcorn box wedged between Miyuki’s legs, which were propped up on my lap. I turned my head when she called my name.

“What.”

“Massage me.”

“No.”

“You said I could do whatever I wanted today.”

“It’s past midnight.”

Miyuki pouted at my firm refusal and squeezed her calves together, tightening them around the popcorn box so much that the opening was covered.

I slipped my hand through the gap, pulled out a piece of popcorn, and popped it into my mouth.

Then, I grinned at her.

“…..”

Did she find me incredibly annoying?

Miyuki’s expression crumpled.

She mumbled something, looking like she wanted to curse me out, then finally gave up on the massage and started to lower her legs.

But when I began to gently rub her calf with one hand, she broke into a soft smile.

“Okay, I’ll let it slide just this once.”

“Okay. And my mom wants to have dinner with us next weekend… you okay with that?”

“I’m fine with it. Should we go now?”

“The credits haven’t finished rolling yet. Are you just trying to get out of giving me a massage?”

“We can do that anytime.”

“But I want one now…”

“Suit yourself.”

The few people who had remained had all left, leaving just the two of us in the theater.

The projectionist was probably still up there. I wondered what kind of face they were making.

Probably an annoyed one.

Only when the credits had finished rolling completely did we finally leave the theater.

The rain, which had stopped earlier, had started again.

This is when I’m supposed to ask her to sleep over at my place again…

“When you went home earlier, did your mom say anything?”

“About what?”

“Like how you’ve been sleeping out too often lately… or something like that.”

“Ah… she didn’t really say anything…?”

Miyuki had always been so well-behaved, so I guess her mom didn’t have much to say about it.

I nodded and said, “Sleep over tonight, too.”

“I already told her I was going to the movies with you, Matsuda-kun…”

“Then just tell her you’re sleeping over at my place.”

“I can’t… you idiot… I’ll come over early tomorrow instead…”

“You’ll sleep over tomorrow? Then we can just go to the academy together.”

“How on earth did you interpret what I said to mean that…?”

“That’s just how much I want to be with you.”

At my direct confession, Miyuki’s face filled with a mixture of joy and worry.

She looked like she was seriously debating what to do.

I chuckled and patted her thigh.

“I was just kidding, so don’t worry about it.”

“Were you really just kidding…?”

“Who knows. Just grab that stuff in the back.”

“The back?”

Miyuki turned her head toward the back seat.

Spotting a few writing utensils lying there, she asked, “Pens and a mechanical pencil?”

“Yeah. They’re a gift.”

“All of a sudden…?”

I’m going to erase every memory she has with Tetsuya and plaster my own traces all over her life.

I’ll start with trivial things, like the school supplies she bought and used with that guy.

When I go to her house this weekend, I’ll have to replace the maneki-neko hanging on her door, too.

“So you’ll study hard.”

“I mean… well… if you’re giving them to me, I’ll gratefully accept… but isn’t this a bit random…?”

Stolen novel; please report.

“I noticed your old ones were worn out. Use these from now on.”

“When did you even see that…? Thank you. I’ll use them well, Matsuda-kun.”

“And eat a lot of salmon when you get home.”

“Salmon? Why?”

Instead of answering, I took advantage of the red light and gently squeezed her inner thigh.

Realizing I was talking about food that’s good for muscle soreness, Miyuki’s face flushed bright red.

“Let’s pick up that strawberry cake you like on the way.”

“….Okay…”

“Put it in the fridge and eat it tomorrow. Don’t eat it today.”

“O-Okay… I’ll handle it…”

Miyuki’s words trailed off, and her brow furrowed slightly.

It looked like my touch brought a pang of pain.

She’d be mostly better by the time we went to school, but… it was a little disappointing.

Why? Because I wanted to see Miyuki limping just a little in front of Tetsuya.

“Matsuda-kun… the light’s green… you can go…”

“There are no cars behind us.”

“Still, you have to follow the traffic laws…! Hurry up and go…”

“Alright, alright. Stop nagging…”

I gave her thigh one last pat and watched her body flinch slightly as I gripped the steering wheel.

Her body is becoming more and more honest.

No, wait, that’s a line straight out of a hypnosis or training story.

…

“Hi, Tetsuya-kun.”

“Hey, Miyuki. Feels like it’s been a while. Did you rest well yesterday?”

“Yeah… Sorry I couldn’t go for a walk yesterday.”

“No, no… It’s my fault for contacting you out of the blue without even checking how you were doing. Are you okay now?”

“I’m feeling much better.”

Tetsuya, who was sitting in the back seat talking with Miyuki, poked his head through the space between the driver’s and passenger’s seats.

“Matsuda, have a good weekend?”

“I did.”

I really, really did. With Miyuki.

I glanced at her as she flinched and quickly composed her expression, then I snapped at Tetsuya.

“Move your damn head so I can see the rearview mirror.”

Miyuki lightly slapped my wrist.

“‘Damn head’? Do you have to talk like that?”

“Head, damn head, isn’t it all the same?”

“It’s a vulgar expression… Say it again, nicely.”

“Miura, move your noggin.”

“Matsuda-kun, do you realize how childish you’re being right now? Are you an elementary schooler? You’re past puberty.”

I know I’m being childish.

But what can I do? I enjoy bickering with you.

I snorted in response and started the car, watching as Tetsuya tried to calm down an indignant Miyuki.

After parking in the lot, I was heading toward the school gate when I saw Miyuki adjusting the collar of her uniform’s dress shirt.

It was an attempt to hide the hickey I’d left near her collarbone during our first time.

Even though it wasn’t visible at all, it must have been on her mind.

Screech.

As I opened the classroom door and walked in, I was greeted by Ppangnyeo and the other students.

It was kind of funny seeing them all slumped over their desks, wishing me a good morning.

It seemed the end of the cultural festival had brought on a severe case of the Monday Blues, leaving them all lethargic.

I sat down and was chatting with Chubby in the seat in front of me when Miyuki, who had been talking with the vice class president about the festival after-party, came over and held out her hand. I gave her a puzzled look.

“What.”

“Give me a few of those chocolates you were eating in the car.”

“Why.”

“I want to share them with my friends.”

“They’re in the car. I’ll give you the key, you can go get them yourself.”

“But it’s hard for me to walk.”

I was momentarily stunned by her audacity, then lowered my voice.

“You were walking just fine a minute ago. What are you talking about? And do you think it’s still the weekend? The time for indulging your every whim is over.”

“I’m tired.”

“So?”

“I’m tired.”

She was smirking, one corner of her mouth turned up, with a look that dared me to refuse her request.

It’s like she’s trying to train me now…

I’ll let it slide, just this once.

I stood up with a look of utter annoyance and said quietly, “This is the last time.”

“Okay.”

Seeing her grin despite my warning, she must really like it when I react like a tsundere.

If she keeps building up this karma, she’s going to have a hard time this weekend…

Just you wait, I’m going to punish you relentlessly with my dick in your room.

Though I’m not sure if I’ll actually be able to.

As I trudged toward the classroom door, I paused when I heard Tetsuya’s question to Miyuki.

“Um… Miyuki, what’s that mechanical pencil in your hand? It’s new.”

“Ah… this? It was a gift.”

“A gift?”

“Yeah. The button on the one I was using before was getting hard to press… so I switched to the one I got as a gift.”

“You should have told me… We could have gone to buy a new one together.”

“I’m sorry. But Tetsuya-kun, do you have any of those jellies left from the car?”

“Oh, yeah. Here, take some.”

Listening to the faint hint of disappointment in Tetsuya’s voice, I left the classroom.

Watching that guy, unable to even ask who gave her the gift for fear of seeming nosy, I felt like I was destined to end up here.

…

“Matsuda-kun, did you have a good weekend?”

Chinami greeted me with an energetic, bright smile.

You’re certainly full of energy for a Monday.

It’s nice to see.

“I did. How about you, Master?”

“I had a good weekend, too. What were the results of the cultural festival competition? When Renka and I stopped by in the evening, it looked really intense… You got first place, right?”

Of course.

Have you ever seen a cultural festival planned by the heroine not get first place?

That’s just common sense in a romantic comedy.

“Yes.”

“Wow…! Congratulations!”

“How were the earnings from the skewer stall?”

“We made a profit. We split it all among the club members who participated. Oh, and I happened to overhear something while cleaning around the coach’s office today… I think the coach is going to recognize you as an official club member soon.”

“Is that so?”

“‘Is that so?’ I think it’s wonderful news… but it seems you don’t think so, Matsuda-kun?”

She mimicked my lukewarm tone and put her hands on her hips.

She was scowling as if she were about to scold me, but she just looked like a Maltese yapping and acting tough, which was kind of cute.

“If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

“Matsuda-kun, the coach is acknowledging you, even though you were a troublemaker. It’s also a chance to learn much more about kendo than you do now. Aren’t you happy?”

“If I become an official member, do I have to stop being the manager?”

Chinami slowly nodded.

“That’s what would happen.”

“Then I don’t want to do it.”

“What?”

“I like being the manager and learning the high stance from you, Master.”

“Huh…? You like being the manager?”

Chinami’s large eyes blinked a couple of times.

I gave her an awkward smile and continued.

“To be more precise, I like doing things with you, Master.”

“Is that so…? I’m happy to hear that, but I really want you to improve your skills by leaps and bounds…”

“I guess you don’t like me, Master? Do you want me gone from your side?”

“What…? How can you say something like that without even blinking…?! What kind of master in this world dislikes their student…?!”

“Then it’s settled. I improve much faster learning from you than I do in the club room. There’s no way I won’t improve when you’re teaching me one-on-one. If the coach calls for me, I’ll tell him I want to continue as the manager.”

“….Isn’t the manager’s work difficult for you?”

“No. It’s fun.”

“You’re a strange person, Matsuda-kun.”

Aren’t you the same, volunteering for all the menial chores?

“It’s because you treat me so well. I’ve been tamed by you.”

“T-Tamed…?”

“If that word’s a bit much, should I say I was inspired? In any case, you’re okay with it too, right, Master?”

“Well, I’d be happy to have you with me, Matsuda-kun, but…”

“Then it’s decided. Now, to commemorate us becoming a true master and student, shall I give you a massage? When you were accepting Miura’s bow earlier, your shoulders looked pretty stiff…”

I took a step toward Chinami, flexing and unflexing my hands. Her eyes darted around before she answered.

“I’m fine for now, so I’ll just accept the thought. Now, let’s get to work.”

“What are we doing today?”

“First, let’s check the condition of the hogu. After that….”

Chinami chattered on, explaining the day’s tasks.

A hint of joy was woven into her voice.

It seemed she was at least a little moved by my decision to continue as manager. I’ll have to make her like me even more later on.