(Bonus Chapter) Oracle of Dough
By Samoosa Rinne Hooka
In the Kingdom of Plumpudding, mass destruction followed in the wake of an unspeakable magic event now whispered as The Great Unravelling. Old religions have fizzled out and newer faiths have risen; unfortunately, taking the barrier between our Pantry-World and the demons' hellish Crumb-Realm with them. Ghouls and demons spill into the realm, most getting re-sealed… except Belial, an especially nasty demon that only gods can trap, in a literal jar.
Thousands of years later, a street beggar named Ambrosia Brioche is yanked into a divine fetch quest by The Great Oven Spirit to retrieve Dagda’s never-ending stew pot. She will need a series of totem-like tattoos if she’s to succeed, each one harder to earn than the last. She’s joined by a chaotic party: a cinnamon-hair colored swordsman, a tea shaman, a pastry-picking thief, an orchard-druid, a powerful exorcist, a demi-god, and a “totally reformed” demon.
Meanwhile, a duped wizard is unknowingly unsealing Belial’s jar with false promises of power and secret recipes, putting all of Plumpudding on the menu.
Candy put the book down. “Hmmm,” she said to herself. It was very different from the usual heaving bossoms, smoldering looks and throbbing members that she was used to reading for the darned literary society meetings. Swordsmen, demon hunting, magic left and right. She flipped through a few pages, just to see if anything caught her eye.
“Huh, is there some crossdressing in there?” It was not something Paddlewick approved of, so she was surprised it got past the censors. Given her own predicament, the concept had some personal allure for her.
“Yeah,” she thought. “This could actually be fun.” She flipped the pages back to the prologue and began reading.
Common Paddlewickian School Recitation
(Versions Vary)