I Hate Dungeon School

"No, no, no, no! All wrong! Start from the top! C'mon, people, we don't have to time to keep messing this up!" Mariana shouted, clapping her hands to emphasize her words.

"Gods above, below, and sideways, I'm really tired of this, blondie!" Cori groaned as she flopped on the floor.

"Well, that's too damn bad! Waltz like your life depends on it, you round ear layabout!" The blonde elven terror turned dance teacher snapped back. She turned the metronome back on and continued to bark instructions at them.

I swear I had heard less harsh drill instructors.

Mariana had tasked herself with giving everyone a crash course in Burgotovan dance and etiquette, of which she was incredibly well versed. I was admittedly in no small bit of awe at how much better she was at it than I was, though I'd rather chew hot buttered glass before I'd confess to that.

Andritch had quite politely and firmly told her to stuff it and went off to some mission of her own she decided not to enlighten us about. She had some tasks that she had been given by the City Lord and the Headmaster that we hadn't needed to be looped into. That was fine by me, honestly. The fewer things I could get roped into, the better as far as I was concerned.

I, of course, remembered enough to get by, and quite honestly, didn't give half a damn about embarrassing myself.

Which, of course, left Myth and Cori as the unfortunate victims of Mariana's ministrations. Eira was there too, but I'm not sure if it was to learn or to act as a helping hand for Mariana's poor excuse for educational prowess.

So i sat there, sipping tea and watching with barely disguised amusement watching my friends attempted to dance. Eira, naturally, did it perfectly, being trained in dancing already. Myth and Cori, however, were so bad at it that it was getting to be pretty funny.

"This is just sort of sad to watch, isn't it?" A voice from beside me said, causing me to nearly drop my teacup in surprise. I turned to look at the offending voice and was greeted by a face I didn't recognize.

He was a rough-looking fellow, bags under his eyes, scruffy facial hair like someone who had forgotten what a razor was for a few days. The hair atop his head matched, a normally shaved head neglected, showing the barest fuzz of salt and pepper color. His clothes were nice enough that he didn't feel too out of place at the inn we were put up in. The whiff of cheap alcohol that came off him suggested a great deal.

Some kind of minor noble, most likely. From what of the edge domains of Burgotova, most likely. He carried himself like someone whose family hada title, but no money, or had been in the boonies for so long the idea of decorum was a fairy tale.

There were all sorts, I suppose.

"Can i help you Mr..?" I let the pause carry the unspoken question.

"Ah, excuse me. My name is Regis. Regis Versteckt, at your service." He held out his hand with a bow. He clearly planned to do the hand-kissing thing, so many noblemen liked to do with young women like me. Instead, I forced the gesture into a handshake. No strange lips on my hands, thank you very much!

"Well, Mr. Versteckt, what brings you to my little dance practice today?" I was feeling more bored than annoyed at the moment, so I decided to play along with the intrusion.

"Bored. wandering around the inn grounds before the wedding tomorrow." He said with a shrug, flopping to the seat across from me, and helped himself to the tea. I couldn't help the little eye twitch of annoyance. Even amongst the common folk I had befriended since my departure from Burgotova, some things just weren't done. Not if you wanted to keep your teeth.

"The wedding, you say? Are you a guest?" I asked, sipping some more to try to hide my irritation.

"Aye. Associate of the Marchesi family. My family was hired to supply the wine." He said, drinking the tea down in one go with a slurp.

"Interesting. I don't remember a Versteckt family, much less one involved in wine." I was beginning to get a bit suspicious.

There weren't a great deal of families involved in the wine trade in Burgotova, so it wasn't hard to keep tabs on them. In fact, there were only two.

"I'm a bit of a bastard, you see. Have my poor mother's name, but I do some odd jobs for my father, Lord Fantome. Keeps me in clothes, house, and drink! Just like I like it." He shrugged and poured himself another cup of my tea.

That tracked a bit better. The Fantome family was one of the two wine families, and Lord Fantome had a reputation for being a bit, how to say, widespread with his affections. And I didn't care enough about noble gossip to be able to confirm his story.

Besides, why not have a bit more chaos in this farce?

"So, Ms. Marchesi, what brings you here? I thought you had been exiled, disowned, the whole spindle." He asked after a quiet moment.

"Invitation. Most likely want to have some final insult to grind into my face. I'm mostly here because I was bored, and I miss the food in Burgotova." I tried to play it cool. I hadn't mentioned my name; I knew I had never met him before. With all the other conspiracies dancing around, I wasn't particularly in the mood for another.

He grunted and sipped his tea slowly, watching as Cori and Myth tripped over each other for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Know anything about the other nobles coming? Rumors have been spreading, and it makes a mind curious it does." He said, his accent shifting ever so slightly. That confirmed my suspicions. Someone was information fishing.

"If you're curious about what I know about the Marchesis, Togallis, and their random gang of cronies and allies, I don't know anything. I'm here out of pity or possibly derision, and frankly, I just want to get this over and done with. Whatever little plan you're hatching, you need to learn to be far more subtle about it." I turned and locked eyes with him.

He glared back and me before smirking with a playful glint in his eyes.

"Very well, Ms. Marchesi. I found out what I needed to know from you anyway. I'll see you at the reception, I hope." He downed another cup of tea, gave me a wink, stood and left with a playful bow.

I felt a headache coming on, right behind my eyeballs, and I wasn't entirely sure which source of annoyance it was coming from at this point. All of them, most likely.

"What was all that about?" Eira said, taking the seat Regis had been in. She went to pour herself some tea, but pouted as she discovered the pot was empty.

"Another thorn in my side. You remember everything I told you about last night? It's probably related to that, but I can't figure out how, and I'm just annoyed at people trying to turn me into a board game piece with all this ptarm shit." I groaned and sank into the plush chair.

"How many conspiracies is this now?" She laughed and rang a little bell for a maid to bring us more tea. She seemed to really be enjoying a taste of the high life, and I wasn't about to dissuade her from having fun.

"I've lost track, honestly. I'm so tired, Eira. I just want all this to be over so we can go home." I said with a deep sigh.

"So you finally consider Revenstahd your home, huh?" She said with a smile, resting her head on her hand, arm propped on the table.

I nodded after a moment of quiet thought.

"It really is. I feel comfortable there, and there are people I actually care about and that care about me. That's all you need for home, in my opinion." I pulled myself up, and returned to my semblance of dignity as the inn's maid brought us more tea. As she left, Eira stared at me with a wicked grin.

"You should totally wear that on one of our at-home dates. You'd look adorable!" She giggled as she sipped the tea, wincing at how hot it was.

"If we survive this? Deal. I'll even wear the frilly underwear just for you." I smirked and winked. Eira visibly blushed at that. One point for me!

We sat and watched in silence as Myth and Cori seemed to finally get the hang of things.

"Are you going to tell Mariana about all of this?" Eira asked, her tone serious.

"I don't know. On the one hand, part of me wants to see the look on her face once everything goes to shit. On the other hand, she has helped us, and I've gotten used to thinking of her as a companion. On the other, other hand, I don't completely know what the Togalli's purpose for inviting her is, and that unknown is feeding the paranoid gremlin that lives in my mind." I felt myself scowling in frustration.

Variables. Too many variables.

What was Mariana's role in all this? Why did Cavendish want to marry me by force? What would possess my family to side with the Knights of the Obsidian Gauntlet to make an independent nation, restart slavery, and likely pull the Mortal Kingdoms into war? What was the point of sending an envoy from Revenstahd? Who the hell was the Regis character, and why was he snooping around?

Too damn many variables, and I didn't like going into situations unaware. It was like delving into a dungeon without a map. It could be done, but you were talking your life into your own hands, and I didn't like doing that without some kind of safety net.

Yet here I was, standing on a politically tenuous cliff without a net to catch me. I just wanted to explore dark holes in the ground and get rich. I didn't want all this nonsense. I just wanted to get this done and go home.

I reached out and held Eira's hand for some semblance of comfort. She held it and patted my arm gently.

"We'll get through this, even if I have to punch absolutely everyone." She said reassuringly. Knowing her, she completely meant it.

"I appreciate that. I really do." I smiled at her and caressed her hand with my thumb softly.

Tomorrow was going to be a hell of a day.