I Hate Dungeon School

The edge of the last light of the day disappeared over the mountain that continued to loom above us, plunging us into a deep darkness. There was something particularly unsettling about the darkness in the wild places of the world. In cities, or even camping on the road, there is still some sense of safety, even if it is illusory.

In the wilds, there was the ever-present knowledge that something was out in the darkness. Something hungry, violent, and hateful. Not even hate against you, against all things that dwelt in civilization. How much of that was true and how much was just deep-seated primal fear, I had no idea, nor did I care. It felt childish, but this darkness scared me.

Give me the dank darkness of a dungeon any day. At least I knew I could kill anything I found there. Here, I was at a disadvantage. It was humbling, to say the least.

The fear abated at the sight of the welcoming torchlight of the village we approached, holding back any worries about the encroaching night. There was nothing quite as comforting against the horrors of the deep night than fire.

I couldn't wait till I could summon my own fire again. The thought made me all to aware of my lack of mana, that hollowness that I had become accustomed to. The night, it seemed, summoned dark thoughts as well.

We entered the warm light, and we were swarmed by Kobolds, of all sizes and ages, coming to greet and embrace Smitty. They hailed her like a returning hero from years of war. I then realized that Smitty was much larger than most Kobolds, even amongst her tribe. She stood a full head taller than any of the adults.

My mind was full of so many questions in that moment. How long had she been gone? Had she also wandered before coming to Dungeon School? Why was she so big?

"Welcome friends to village! Home of Kobolds of the mountain!" Smitty said, her voice shaking me from my line of thinking, her arms thrown wide, showing us her home.

It was definitely a village. It was small, maybe five or six huts, with a large fire pit in the middle, with a roaring fire ablaze, bathing us in heat and light. Off to one side was a larger hut and something that could either be a stable or a storehouse.

Everything was of simple but sturdy construction. Nothing fancy, but then it didn't have to be. Kobolds were very utilitarian, I noticed.

Soon, I found a pack of small kobolds, pups I surmised. They woofed and huffed at me, their tails all wagging like crazy, whipping back and forth. One young one threw themselves off balance with the violence of the wagging.

It was, quite frankly, the most adorable thing I had ever seen. It was taking all my willpower to keep from petting them, or picking them up. I had no idea what was insulting or improper. I didn't want to make a crowd of hound people angry at me if I could avoid it.

Smitty then let out a small howl, which calmed the crowd down from their joyous excitement.

"Come friends! My home this way! Meet mate and pups! Eat food! Sleep warm! What is phrase? My home your home yes yes." She said, and waved to us to follow her, which we did. The kobold pups and others disperse, some with sad whines which made my heart hurt, but I was becoming increasingly aware of my hunger and exhaustion, and I had to imagine my companions were feeling the same.

She led us towards a hut, which I noticed was the largest in the small village. Was Smitty more important than we had thought? Her grasp of the common tongue, made even more complicated by the shape of her mouth, made her a bit of mystery as she couldn't really communicate much of her past.

She opened the door, and my nose was greeted by a wave of delightful smells and blessed warmth. I had begun to feel I would never feel warmth again.

We were greeted by a large kobold, a light brown in color, almost a full head shorter than Smitty. From what I had seen of others of Smitty's tribe, she was unusually tall. They barked and embraced Smitty tightly.

"These friends?" The other Kobold asked, ears flattening against their head.

"Yes yes! Friends of Smitty! Friends, this is my mate, Witty!" She pointed at a trio of younger kobolds whose heads were peering around a corner. "And these are pups! Nitty, Gritty, and Bitty! Have much missed them yes yes!"

The three pups dashed forward and embraced their mother tightly with great excitement, with barks and woofs.

"Smitty we had no idea you had a family! Or was a mother! Or married. Do kobolds get married?" Myth said with a big smile.

"Did Smitty not mention this? Smitty sure she mention. Is no matter, no no. This is family! Family is good! Now, we eat!" She wagged her tail happily as she sniffed the deliciously fragrant air.

"Yes. It is time for food, but do you trust these strangers?" A gruff and wheezing voice said from a shadowy corner of the room. They spoke with much more clarity than I heard from any kobolds before.

"Auntie! You here! Yes good good yes yes! I trust friends! We fight many monsters! They help me be strong! I help them be strong! Strange they be, but friends! Yes yes!" Smitty put her paws on her hips with an indignant huff.

A figure limped from the shadowy corner, clad in a robe of some sort, their snout all I could see of their face. They walked with a limp, supported by a cane. From around their neck were many charms and talismans of a purpose I couldn't even begin to guess at.

"Friends they may be, but outsiders I not trust no no." She growled at us.

Smitty said something to her in kobold, which caused the elderly one to bow her head in what I assumed was deference.

"Sorry friends. Auntie is su-sup-suspicious." Smitty said slowly, working to get the word out. "Kobolds of mountain have enemies, both Mortal and Monster. Not a bad as old days, but bad still. Old ones do not forgive easy."

"Is true. Witty works hard to teach Common to young. Kobolds of mountain need to make more friend!" Her mate said, his attitude changing to one of welcome at Smitty's defense of us.

"Foolish!" The elderly one snapped suddenly. "Kingdom soldiers will always hate Kobolds! Within my life length we were monsters! We've only been Mortals long enough that their tribe chiefs still hate us!"

It was true. Kobolds hadn't been included amongst those considered The Mortal Races for all that long, and the old prejudices lingered, especially in Burgotova. They were allowed in cities and the like, but never truly welcomed. Those attitudes were worse amongst the nobility. Smitty's choice to stay behind was understandable.

"We trying Auntie! I am chief now! Even meet with King! Smitty great hero! We will prove we belong! Believe!" Witty growled at her.

"Pfah! You share food with those that hate us, and Smitty leaves children and tribe to fight! You fight here! Protect us! But no!" Auntie continued her tirade.

Smitty barked something loudly, quieting the two of them immediately.

"Enough! Not in front of guests, not in front of children! Sit! Eat food! Sleep! Much work to do in morning!" She glared at her family, and then at us for good measure.

Even though i wasn't a Kobold, I knew when someone was throwing their weight around, and Smitty was very large and none of us wanted to get on her bad side.

The food was simple but tasty. Smitty's pup asked us questions, as best they could, sometimes having Smitty or Auntie translate for them and vice versa. it was all very adorable.

Eventually, it was getting late, and they offered us the only place they could put us up, which was a storehouse. Thankfully, they set us up with blankets, and it was warm, though I didn't pry into how, as I couldn't see any kind of furnace or other heat source.

"Am sorry friends. Auntie was last chief, and she from old days. Has old ways. Before Kobolds were allowed. Old hurts heal slow." She said, a sad expression on her face.

"It's ok. I for one understand. I remember those days too, and its a shameful time in the history of the Mortal Kingdoms. We can only hope for the best for the future. Those pups deserve it!" Helena said as she nestled in her pile of blankets.

"Thank you friend teacher Helena. Sleep well friends, in morning we fight mountain!" She huffed as she closed the door.

We all gathered, got comfortable, took off gear, and settled down for the night. There was little conversation as we were all exhausted. I snuck a kiss from Eira before huddling under a blanket pile.

Soon, there was nothing but the sounds of night and the soft breathing of my companions. I felt the warmth of Eira, despite all the blankets wrapping us, snuggling in behind me.

Any other night, in a strange place like this, I would've had trouble sleeping, if I got any sleep at all. This night, however, exhaustion from the cold, the trek, and the battle pulled me directly into a deep slumber.

I dreamed, I think. I couldn't be sure, but it prevented me from feeling fully rested upon my being shaken to wakefulness.

"Get up sleepy ears, it's time for breakfast." I heard Eira's gentle voice in my ears. What a lovely way to wake up. I wanted that forever. That would be nice.

I slowly opened one eye and looked around blearily.

"It's not even light yet. Just five more hours, please and thank you." I mumbled as I closed my eyes.

"Sorry, sweetie. No can do. Lots to do today. Adventure and all that. C'mon, get up." She shook me some more, and grumbling, I sat up.

"Kisses. Want." I muttered.

"Sleepy ears don't get kisses, sorry!" She giggled at me. I forced my eyes open, and I doubtless looked like a fright, but I wanted those kisses.

"Kisses!" I growled, playing along.

"Okay! Okay, okay! Here you go!" And Eira gave me the kisses I demanded.

"Gods above and below, you two are disgusting, you know that?" Mariana sighed at us with derision as she gathered up her gear.

"You're just jealous!" Eira stuck her tongue out at her.

"Yeah! Jealous! And dumb!" I copied Eira.

Mariana just rolled her eyes and left the room with a huff.

"We should probably be nicer to her," Eira said after a moment.

"Probably, but the day that happens is not this day. C'mon, help me get ready, please. I'm still so tired!" I groaned, pulling myself to my feet with Eira's help. I felt like a wrung-out sponge today. It had been too long since I properly exerted myself, and I was feeling it in every single one of my muscles and bones.

Training was one thing, but actually fighting, even against weird ice zombies or whatever, was a totally different thing altogether.

My stomach made a loud, and very unladylike, growl.

"Hungry," I whined.

"C'mon, sweetness. Let's get you some food. I'm curious to see what Kobold's use to wake up. They can't have coffee after all," sighed Eira, a sound full of disappointment.

"Wait, they can't have coffee?" I felt a sudden alarm at that news. I hadn't started a morning without coffee for as far back as I could conveniently remember. Coffee was just a part of life, like breathing or complaining.

"Nope. Coffee is poisonous to them. So is tea, for that matter. How Smitty is so chipper every morning, I'll never know." Cori answered from her blanket pile.

"Please, by all the gods above, below, and sideways, tell me someone packed some coffee for us." I felt genuine terror fill me.

No one answered.

"Shit."