The Substitution of the Shield Hero

After doing some testing on my kids' abilities, I had good news and bad news.

The good news was that only Bahamut had continent-leveling abilities.

Mina was more of a support magic user and could do lots of neat things like magic in food and supplies, along with zapping things with lasers. But since she was still just a toddler, the most she could do was a bit of sunburn with her lasers.

Nina was definitely a black mage type of character. She could use all sorts of elemental magic... and dragonfire.

Somehow.

...I'm beginning to think that whoever was behind the waves absolutely did not consider the implications of messing with interdimensional boundaries.

They were probably just intending on smashing parallel realities together to create incursions... but whatever they were doing definitely went beyond the local universe to quite a few multiverse coordinates away.

I mean, I was here, after all.

And it seemed like me being here was making all kinds of things go out of sorts as the world was failing to process what kind of existence I was according to its rules.

Not to mention the existence of my <Parallel System> which, well, was parallel.

For all intents and purposes, I was doing black voodoo magic while still using the Status Magic System and breaking things while staying within the rules...

But anyway, good news, no worldbreaking magic available.

Except for Bahamut, but he promised to be good and only pull the trigger on Megaflare, Zetaflare, and other ridiculous abilities when I told him to.

Somehow, I managed to convince him to just using basic elemental magic.

...Though by 'basic' it was stuff like Thundaga... or <Thunder Dreifach> according to the system.

Totally the -aga tier spells though.

As for the bad news...

'These guys are ABSOLUTELY my kids. And mom and dad's grandkids.'

Since I was playing around with them while testing their abilities, I got a closer look at how they acted.

Bahamut definitely had the trademark smirk I got from my dad. And it looked like he was trying hard to not crack one-liners whenever he saw something funny.

Mina was still young, but she was definitely mischievous. Goading people, teasing, playing coy, and overall just acting like my mom.

Nina... well, she was definitely more like me in general. Calm, polite, observant... And I guess she had Dad's good guy streak since she seemed to like playing up a hero. But she was also definitely a daddy's girl since she was clingy.

But even if I wasn't sure from how they acted, a quick DNA test confirmed it.

While the other half of their DNA was weird... probably due to fantasy magic shenanigans, they were definitely half human. And the half human part matched my DNA.

Sooo...

'Well, Mom and Dad are definitely in their 50s already. I think that's grandparent age, right...?'

...Let's delay going back home for a while.

Since I'd confirmed the presence of an interdimensional army and a Type 2 Civilization (or its equivalent) we could take the long way around.

But now back to the present.

After being forced to sleep by my kids (at the insistence of all the females in my life), I woke up early the next morning and got everyone ready for our march.

The sky was still dark, the sun just starting to peek up over the horizon.

Libertas as a whole was fast asleep, its inhabitants resting after the craziness of the past few days.

And under the helpful watch of that Oyaji, Erhard.

Honestly, Oyaji had a level head on his shoulders. With him, the innkeeper, and the members from Riyute village who had made their way over, everything would be fine in my absence.

Probably.

...If not, I had a failsafe modified from the logic of a slave crest to put people in timeout MMORPG style by hacking into the logic of the Status Magic System, but hopefully nobody triggered that.

Mostly because I didn't know how to undo it yet.

...Well, Darwin Awards be Darwining.

I was carrying Nina in a harness on my back and Mina in a harness on my front, letting my daughters sleep.

Bahamut was wide awake, walking directly beside me while equipped with a blue hoodie that Rishia had made him.

...And also one that made him look like an Aeon with the same name.

'Names really must have powers in this world, huh?'

I should really be careful about my name then. Since Mom wanted to be funny, my full name...

Mm.

Let's just say if I ever ran for office, things would get confusing.

I'd tried changing it a few times, but she noticed and pulled some favors to change it back.

...I did have a passport that said I was Charlie Redfield though.

And if anyone ever asked, I was definitely going with that. Just like how Mom never went by her real name and just Ada.

But anyway, kids were taken care of.

Sylvia was on my left as usual, wearing a set of sky-blue armor that was very reminiscent of a certain hero of Erdrea, minus the helmet. Her sword was still a rapier... but it also kind of really looked like a falcon blade.

Hm.

As for Lia, she was on my right, wearing a sakura-themed kimono with False Mercy sheathed on her right side, that bone knife with an origin that I still refrained from asking about strapped to her waist, and a katana sheathed on her left side.

Mein had doubled down on the spell-caster outfit, swapping her tunic for a red leotard with tall thigh-high stockings, purple boots, purple gloves, and a lacy bodice attached to the sides of her leotard for some slight modesty. Though considering how her thighs, shoulders, and armpits were bared for the world to see...

Well, her body, her choice, I guess. And I guess she seemed to like wearing that sort of clothing even now that she was Mein.

Rishia had changed into proper armor... and also was armed to the teeth.

Maybe she intuitively sensed her class bonuses? Either way, she was wearing a full set of plate mail that covered her in steel from head to toe, as well as a halberd, bow, zweihander, long sword, and saber all strapped to her body, clearly prepared to go to war.

As for my familiar... or rather 'Sekirei' S'yne...

She was wearing a white hooded cloak with a purple underside, a matching purple tunic with fancy black lining that had stitch patterns on it, as well as white boots, white shorts, and a white belt with yellow diamonds over it.

...Or, if you knew about a certain elf mage where the main character kept returning from zero, an outfit basically like that. Though, minus the scandalous purple bodysuit that hid LITERALLY nothing.

Honestly, I always thought she was the reserved type, but to be that bold...

Whatever the case though... this was our crew.

"Nine of us, huh?" I took a look around and said, "Well, eight plus S'yne."

S'yne wrinkled her brow and said, "That's mean. I matter too, Mister Naofumi."

"Well, according to the party menu, you're marked as a familiar..."

S'yne paused. Then she lowered her gaze. "...I'm just a pet... uuu..."

Mein rolled her eyes. "You realize that playing cute doesn't work on Master Naofumi, right? Believe me, I've tried."

I chuckled. "Definitely true. Unless you're my kids, or adopted kids like Sylvia and Lia, it doesn't work." After saying that, I adjusted Mina and Nina to be a bit more comfortable.

Lia gasped. "I'm adopted! Yay!"

I ruffled Mina's blue hair after making sure she was okay, and then checked on Nina with the mirror-like surface of my usual Portal Shield. After fixing her blonde hair a bit, and tucking in her black wings to be cozy, I said, "Well, you're practically my daughter at this point, Lia, so yes. Sylvia too."

...Which reminded me that I needed to address everyone's classes at some point.

I wasn't sure if they could see their own classes... but even if they could, it seemed like they didn't have any questions about it.

And because of that, I decided to apply the old and proven rule of 'push it off until it becomes a problem.'

Like Dad did with him being infected and all until he was cured by that rookie FBI lady.

Sylvia hummed and said, "...I suppose I'll be Master's family one way or another..."

I paused and said, "What's with that ominous phrasing, Sylvia?"

"Well." Sylvia shrugged. "Assuming that my feelings remain, and I don't feel like I want to curl up and die from shame like Lia there-"

"Hey!" Lia blushed. "We said to not talk about that!"

"...I'll definitely pursue you. But if that does come to pass... you seem to like older women, and my mother is definitely single."

I slowly blinked. "Sylvia. Are... Are you saying that if you can't have me you'll make me your stepdad?"

Sylvia smiled. "Is that a problem, Master?"

"...So this is how Dad feels about Uncle Chris..."

Sylvia tilted her head.

Rishia walked over and said, "We're marching to Siltvelt, right, Lord Naofumi?"

"Yeah." I quickly latched onto Rishia's words to avoid the awkward conversation with Sylvia. "We're going to walk there, mostly to avoid any problems from warping in, and also because we would probably get immediately attacked riding in on a carriage. On foot, we're likely seen as refugees... especially since we're a group of one guy with a bunch of beautiful young women and three children."

Mein's green eyes flickered in understanding. "So that's your ploy." She chuckled and said, "You're using us as cover. What, are you going to say you picked us up along the way and rescued us?"

"If push comes to shove, yeah. I mean, beautiful women like you all aren't going to just be anywhere. The simplest explanation is you were ambushed and that I saved you." I pointed to myself and said, "Unlike a certain playboy spear hero we know, I don't look like the type to have multiple beauties around."

Rishia quickly nodded. "Yes! Lord Naofumi is definitely a loyal lover type of face!"

"...That phrasing, Rishia... kind of makes it sound like I have the face only one woman could love."

"A-Ah! That's not...! I mean..."

Lia giggled and said, "Don't worry, Naofumi-dono. You're very handsome."

Sylvia nodded. "Oh, I'm sure Lia could attest to -MMPH!?"

Lia quickly clamped her hands over Sylvia's mouth and said, "NO!"

S'yne smiled and said, "...This is a lively group. I like it."

"Well." I chuckled and started walking. "Get used to it, S'yne. This is our hectic family for the foreseeable future-"

A sudden blur of movement.

A man rocketing towards me at a blinding speed, screaming in shock and dismay.

On instinct, I stepped back with my right foot and flung my left arm up to parry with my shield.

*CLANG*

The man immediately flew off in another direction. And as he did, a red bandana fluttered to the ground.

I blinked. "Huh."

Mein looked at the bandana. Then at the man flying into the distance. "...Was that Takt?"

"Guess so?" I hummed and decided to get rid of the evidence by storing the bandana in my inventory and converting it into a tissue with <Synthesis>. After that, I blew my nose on it and tossed it aside. "Anyway, to Siltvelt."

Lia giggled. "You're always so silly, Naofumi-dono... but that's what's fun about you."

Sylvia nodded. "To Siltvelt. And to hoping Four Bray does something just as stupid while we're there so we can have them fight each other instead."

S'yne slowly blinked. Then she said, "This is the work of a villain, not a hero." She paused. "...But I suppose there aren't really any good countries in this world from what I've seen."

"Right?" I nodded. "Join the 'burn this world with fire until we can murder god' crew. Classic JRPG party, you know?" I paused. "Actually, since there are eight of you... are you the octopath travelers? And am I the guiding force keeping you all together?"

Mein gave me a blank look. Then she slowly said, "You desperately need more sleep, Master Naofumi."

"No, I need coffee. But this backwards world, even with all its random technology from the heroes who got isekai'd here... It STILL doesn't have coffee. Or caffeine. And I'm not about to try to remake it from scratch since that's an easy way to make a super stimulant that blows a heart out."

I paused.

"Actually, Lia, write that down. We should test a few things out on people who don't deserve an easy death."

Lia's crimson eyes sparkled. "Of course, Naofumi-dono." She pulled out a small leatherbound journal and a pencil. "Note to self... test compounds and potions on evil men..."

"And viruses. Can't forget viruses."

Lia nodded. "And viruses... whatever those are."

Sylvia chimed in and said, "Don't forget the experiments feeding monster cores to them too. We should see if its possible to enhance people with them."

I blinked.

Sylvia looked at me and said, "What, Master? They're going to die anyway, right? It's just being practical."

"Mm." I nodded. "Definitely going to hell. On the other hand, I remembered for sure that Dad met the sons of Sparda, so I have an in. No problems there, only wins."

Mein gave me a blank look.

"What?" I looked back at her.

"...You ARE a Demon Lord."

"No I'm not. I'm a human. Dad's the one who practically got adopted by devils after his stint in Japan." I paused. "Demons? They have a devil trigger, so it's a devil, right? ...No, I think Dad called them demons. Am I getting it mixed up? Mm... probably..."

Bahamut nodded and said, "Demons. Devils are different. They're children of Lilith, not Lucifer. And Sparda is Lucifer's creation."

"Right. Thanks, Boy. I can always count on you for lore drops."

Bahamut gave me a thumbs up.

I checked on Mina and Nina... who both were still sound asleep despite all the chaos.

Huh.

Guess they're more like newborns than toddlers considering how much sleep they need.

But anyway, since they were fine...

"Off to Siltvelt we go."