Banished Divinity: Learning to be Human

After a very long night of chaos at the campsite, ancient hags, blood sacrifices, moonlight blessings, and a hug that lasted approximately seven years, I thought I could finally sleep.

The expensive tent that Minjae and Jaehyun had brought was waiting for me. The bed was fluffy. The toilet and shower were glorious. The movie system was calling my name.

But no.

Of course not.

Because the professors and faculty people had decided that the best course of action was for everyone to go home.

Immediately.

The reporters were coming. The authorities were coming. Someone had called someone, and someone had called someone else, and now the entire island was being treated like a crime scene.

All because of Yuna.

Apparently, her family wanted to get to the bottom of how she had ended up at the campsite. How she had gotten there with no money. Where she had been for the past few weeks. Why she looked like she had been living in a dumpster and fighting raccoons for food.

Not my problem, I thought, staring out at the dark water.

Minjae had walked me to the ferry terminal. He was not able to join me as he had to stay behind to help Jaehyun take down the tent.

"Take the first ferry," Minjae had said, his hand resting briefly on my shoulder. "I'll see you back in the city."

I glanced over and saw Human Sera, who was currently floating in circles around Jaehyun, who was trying to pack up a tent with a ghost orbiting his head like a very excited, very translucent satellite. She was making heart shapes with her hands and humming a love song that she had definitely made up on the spot.

"I'm staying!" she had shrieked, not even looking at me, her voice rising with excitement. "I'm staying with my darling! Go away! Shoo! This is our time!"

"You're going to haunt him on the ferry?" I had asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'M GOING TO HAUNT HIM EVERYWHERE! THIS IS ROMANCE! YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!" She had spun in a circle, her ghostly form leaving trails of light.

I had decided not to argue. It was easier. And also, her singing was giving me a headache.

So I had boarded the first ferry alone.

Well, not alone.

Jiyoung and Haejin were with me.

And they would not. Stop. Pacing.

The ferry was not crowded. Most people had decided to stay on the island and wait for the chaos to die down. But Jiyoung and Haejin had decided that I needed "protection" and "emotional support" and "someone to make sure you don't fall into the ocean and drown."

I was sitting on a bench near the railing, watching the water, when they cornered me.

Jiyoung stood on my left, her arms crossed, her foot tapping impatiently. Haejin stood on my right, her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed.

They were both pacing.

Not nervous pacing. The kind of pacing that came from having too much energy and too many questions. They were puffing out air like balloons that had been overinflated and were about to explode.

"Sera," Jiyoung said, her voice low and serious.

"Sera," Haejin echoed, her tone matching.

They looked at each other. Then back at me.

"THE HUG," they both said at the same time, their voices perfectly synchronized.

I blinked. "What about the hug?"

"WHAT ABOUT THE HUG?!" Jiyoung's voice climbed about three octaves, her eyes wide. "Sera, that was NOT a hug. That was an EVENT. That was a SPECTACLE. That was a FULL-BODY EXPERIENCE that lasted for what felt like an ETERNITY."

"It was a hug," I said flatly. "People hug. It's a thing that mortals do. I have observed it many times."

"OBSERVED?!" Haejin grabbed my shoulders, her grip surprisingly strong. "Sera, you were NOT observing. You were PARTICIPATING. Your arms were around him. His arms were around you. Your faces were inches apart. I saw it. I took PICTURES."

"You took pictures?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I TOOK MANY PICTURES. I HAVE EVIDENCE." Haejin replied proudly, a triumphant grin spreading across her face.

"Delete them," I said flatly.

"NEVER." Haejin stuck out her tongue, her grin widening.

Jiyoung leaned in, her eyes narrow and calculating. "How did it feel?"

I blinked. "How did what feel?"

"THE HUG, SERA. THE HUG. Don't play dumb. You're not good at it." Jiyoung's voice was sharp, but there was a hint of amusement underneath.

I thought about it. The hug had been... warm. And Minjae had smelled nice. And my heart had done that stupid flip thing that I still did not understand. But I was a celestial being. Celestial beings did not have feelings about hugs.

"I felt nothing," I said, my voice carefully neutral.

"NOTHING?!" Both of them shrieked in unison.

"Nothing. It was a hug. A very long hug. A hug that lasted approximately a million years. But still just a hug." I shrugged.

"You're lying," Haejin said, her eyes narrowing.

"I am a celestial being. I do not lie." I met her gaze steadily.

"You're lying right now," Jiyoung said, pointing a finger at me.

"I am stating facts." I rolled my eyes.

"Your face is red." Jiyoung smirked.

"The ferry is warm." I touched my face, feeling the heat.

"The ferry is NOT warm. The ferry is cold. The wind is cold. The water is cold. Everything is cold except your face, which is the colour of a tomato." Haejin leaned in closer.

"A very celestial tomato." I nodded in agreement, my voice flat.

"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CELESTIAL TOMATO." Jiyoung threw her hands up in exasperation.

"There is now. I invented it." I shrugged again.

Sera," Jiyoung said slowly, her voice dropping to a cautious tone, "do you like Minjae?"

"I tolerate Minjae. There is a difference." I replied flatly, avoiding her gaze.

"Do you think about him when he's not around?" Jiyoung prompted slowly, as if she were handling some wild creature that might snap at her at any given moment.

"I think about many things when he's not around. Economics. The void. The existential dread of being mortal." I stared at the water.

"Do you think about his face?" Haejin asked, leaning in.

I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.

"...No." My voice came out weaker than I intended.

"YOU BLINKED WHEN YOU SAID NO." Jiyoung pointed at me triumphantly.

"Celestial beings blink. It's a biological function." I crossed my arms.

"YOU BLINKED TWICE." Haejin pointed at me as well, her grin widening.

"I have dry eyes." I looked away.

"THREE TIMES, SERA. YOU BLINKED THREE TIMES." Both spoke at the same time, their voices perfectly synchronized.

"I am going to pretend my head hurts now."

I put my hand on my forehead and closed my eyes. "Oh no. My head. It hurts. So much pain. I think I need silence. And solitude. And for you both to stop asking questions."

Jiyoung and Haejin stared at me.

"Your acting is terrible," Haejin said, shaking her head.

"I am a celestial being. I do not act. I become." I kept my eyes closed.

"You're becoming a liar." Jiyoung said, her tone dripping with disapproval.

"I am becoming a person with a headache. Goodbye." I turned my back to them and faced the water.

Behind me, I heard them whispering.

"She's totally in denial," Jiyoung whispered.

"Should we push her?" Haejin whispered back.

"No, she might fall in."

"That would be funny though." Haejin giggled.

"Very funny. But also tragic. And her mum would kill us." Jiyoung shuddered.

"Fair point. She is scary." Haejin agreed.

I sighed.

I hate everything, I thought.

I don't hate everything.

I hate that I don't hate everything.