(Book 1) Chap 83 : The Great Camping Conspiracy
The final exam was over.
I walked out of the exam hall like a warrior emerging from a battlefield—victorious, exhausted, and slightly traumatized by the things I had seen. My brain felt like it had been through a war. A war of supply curves and demand elasticity, whatever P’s and W’s and why must there be a H and questions that made no sense even after Moo Moo had eaten many of my duplicated textbooks.
But it was done.
It was over.
I was FREE.
The sun was shining. Birds were singing. Somewhere in the distance, a dog was barking at a squirrel, and for once, I understood its joy cause for the first time in my existence as a human, I smiled. Truly ungracefully smiled as I was walking out of the building.
Then I saw them.
Jiyoung and Haejin were waiting for me near the giant oak tree in the courtyard. They were bouncing on their heels, their faces flushed, their eyes wide with an intensity that I had only ever seen in one other creature.
They looked like Balooogloons.
For those who have never witnessed the sacred mating ritual of the Balooogloon—a magnificent spherical creature from the gaseous swamps of Xylos Prime—let me explain. When a Balooogloon becomes excited, it sucks in massive amounts of air, inflating its body until it floats several feet off the ground. Then, with a dramatic whoosh, it exhales and descends, only to repeat the process again and again. It is both mesmerizing and deeply unsettling to watch.
Jiyoung and Haejin were doing the exact same thing.
Bouncing up. Bouncing down. Their faces puffed with air. Their eyes bulging with anticipation.
Fascinating, I thought. Perhaps they have Balooogloon ancestry. I should add this to my observation log.
"OH MY GAWD!!" they both screamed at the same time, their voices harmonizing in a way that was almost musical when they saw me approaching. "EXAMS ARE OVER!! AND THREE MORE DAYS UNTIL THE CAMPING TRIP!!"
I froze.
Not a normal freeze. Not the "I'm thinking about what to say" freeze.
A deep freeze. The kind of freeze that happens when your entire body forgets how to function. I couldn't feel my toes. I couldn't feel my fingers. I couldn't feel my face—though judging by the way Jiyoung was staring at me, my face was doing something very strange.
Was I smiling? Was I grimacing? Was I grinning like a maniac who had just discovered that the void stares back?
I had no idea.
Camping, my brain whispered. The trip. The one you agreed to. The one with the ground-sleeping and the hole-bathrooms and the bugs.
Oh no…
OH NO!!
"Sera," Jiyoung said slowly, her eyes narrowing like a predator who had just spotted wounded prey. "You totally forgot, didn't you?"
"I have not," I said, recovering myself with the dignity of a celestial being who had definitely not forgotten.
"Yes, you did!!" Haejin accused, jabbing a finger at my chest. "You traitor!! You didn't get those things we told you to get!"
"Well," I said, straightening my spine and summoning my most convincing celestial voice—the one that had made demons tremble and lesser beings weep, "I did get some things."
Jiyoung crossed her arms. "I am not convinced. What did you get so far?"
I opened my mouth.
Nothing came out.
Say something, my brain screamed. Anything. You are a celestial being. You have faced down demons. You have banished kings. You can lie to two mortals about camping supplies.
"I got..." I started.
"Yes?" Jiyong asked
"I got..."
"Yes?!" Both of them asked at the same time.
"I got... a toothbrush."
Jiyoung and Haejin stared at me.
"A toothbrush," Jiyoung repeated flatly.
"A very nice toothbrush," I added. "It's purple. Like my hair used to be. Before I became a mortal. It's very sentimental."
"You got a purple sentimental toothbrush for a camping trip where we will be sleeping on the ground and there are no bathrooms and you will probably not brush your teeth because the water is cold and gross?"
"Ah…" that was all I had managed to say. I tried to seek advice from my celestial brain, and apparently, it had gone missing. Everything was nothing. Silent. Not a single word.
Can a celestial brain go missing? Interesting. I thought.
Haejin threw her hands up in despair. "WE ARE GOING TO DIE! WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN THE FOREST BECAUSE YOU ONLY BROUGHT A TOOTHBRUSH."
"I also have socks," I offered weakly.
"SOCKS?!" Both of them spoke with gusto and judgment at the same time.
"Mismatched socks. They're artistic," I said with more conviction.
"THEY ARE USELESS!" Jiyoung declared as Haejin continued her "We are so going to die" rant.
Before I could defend my artistic sock choices—which were perfectly functional, thank you very much—two towering figures appeared beside me, casting shadows that blocked out the sun.
I looked up.
Then I looked up some more.
Minjae and Jaehyun stood there like two mighty giants from the Halls of Giants—a place I had once visited during a hunt for a dimension-hopping troll. The giants there had been much more intimidating. They had also been less handsome, which was deeply unfair.
"I think we have spare camping stuff left at my place," Jaehyun said, glancing at Minjae.
"Oh yes!" Minjae nodded. "We went camping like two months ago. I think Sera and you girls can use it. We have comfortable tents. Not those cheap tents that you have to build and sleep on hard ground. You girls would love it."
Jiyoung's eyes narrowed into slits so thin they almost disappeared. "Wait. What. What do you mean 'Sera and you girls would love it'?"
Minjae blinked. "I mean... you girls would love it."
"That's what you just said," Jiyoung spoke with venom in her voice.
"Yes." Minjae blinked.
"So, you're repeating yourself," Jiyoung spoke with more venom in her voice.
"Yes." Minjae blinked again.
"Why are you repeating yourself?!" Jiyoung raised her voice.
Minjae tilted his head, his expression completely blank. "For emphasis."
Jiyoung made a sound that was somewhere between a growl and a scream. Haejin grabbed her arm to hold her back.
"What else do you want?" Minjae asked in his usual flat replies. "And don't look at me that way, Jiyoung. We are nice guys."
"Ah ha!" Jiyoung pointed a finger at his chest. "Nice guys? You said Sera and you girls. Not You girls. I knew it, e0ver since our dear Sera came back from school after her accident, you two weirdos have been looming over her like vultures. I know she is pretty and weird right now—like, really weird, like, 'talks to herself and argues to herself and talks about celestial shit or cosmic weird stuff but still weird! She is OUR girl. Not yours!"
Ok… Rude… Those are not weird.. It’s the truth, I thought
She grabbed me and yanked me behind her.
Haejin joined in, pulling me behind her like I was a sack of potatoes that needed protecting. "Yeah! You boys leave her alone!"
I stumbled between them, my head spinning. I am a celestial being, I thought. I have fought in wars. I have banished evil. And now I am being treated like a lost puppy by two mortals who think I cannot defend myself.
It was almost nice.
Almost.
"Wow! Girls, we are just helping out," Jaehyun said, raising his hands in surrender like he was being held at gunpoint by a very angry squirrel.
"We would pass you the tent later, Sera," Jaehyun added.
Minjae looked at me.
I looked at him.
There was something in his eyes—something he wanted to say, something he was holding back, something that made my celestial heart do a strange little flip that I did not appreciate.
"Laters, Sera," Minjae smiled.
Then he turned around and walked away, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed, his stupid perfect posture making him look like he belonged on a magazine cover.
I watched him go.
Stupid heart, I thought. Stupid walking. Stupid smile. Stupid—
"Oh... my... gawd..." Human Sera appeared beside me out of nowhere, her translucent face inches from mine, her voice dripping with eerie, ghostly delight. "The way he looked at you, Sera. that is love right there.."
"WHAT THE—" I jumped so high I nearly landed in the oak tree.
"Ha! Ha! Got you!" Human Sera spun in a circle, cackling like a witch who had just discovered online shopping. "You think I didn't follow you to school today? Well, I did! I just came late because I wanted to see My man"
Before she could finish, before I could respond, before I could do anything—
Hands grabbed me.
Cold hands. Icy hands. Hands that felt like Valor—those beautiful, terrifying vampires from the Frostfall Chronicles that Mina made me watch. Hands that yanked me backward with the strength of a creature who had decided that I was not going anywhere.
Jiyoung and Haejin were in my face.
Both of them. At the same time. Screaming.
"SERA! WHAT DOES HE MEAN 'LATERS'?!"
"WHY IS MINJAE SMILING AT YOU?!"
"WHY DID JAEHYUN DECIDE TO PASS YOU THINGS?!"
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!"
"YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION!"
The questions hit me like a volley of arrows. My head began to pound. The world started to spin. The sun seemed to get brighter, then dimmer, then brighter again.
"Oh my," I whispered. "My head hurts."
"SERA!"
"SERA, ARE YOU OKAY?!"
"SERA, DON'T YOU FAINT ON US!"
"SERA!"
I heard my name. Over and over. But it sounded far away. Distant. Like someone calling from the other end of a very long tunnel.
This is embarrassing, I thought. I am a celestial being. I do not faint. I do not—
The ground came up to meet me. Or rather, I went down to meet the ground.
But before I could collapse into a heap of celestial disgrace, a strong hand caught me. Warm. Steady. Familiar.
"I need to bring her to the nurse," a voice said.
I blinked up through hazy eyes.
He smells good, I thought. Like Minjae.
Wait.
That IS Minjae.
Oh no.
"Minjae?" I mumbled.
"You were falling," he said.
"I don't fall. I descend dramatically."
"You just fell."
"That was a tactical repositioning of my body. Towards the ground. For strategic purposes." I spoke weakly
Minjae chuckled. "You're outwardly.”
"I prefer the term 'cosmically unconventional.'"
He sighed—but he was smiling. And he didn't put me down. He was carrying me like I weighed nothing in his arms. Now I understood why Mina had said he was strong that night when she jumped into his arms.
Behind us, I could hear Jiyoung and Haejin arguing with Human Sera, who was floating around them and yelling, "Put her down, you gate-rammer! that is my body! my future husband is supposed to carry me, not you!!"
Jiyoung turned to Haejin. "Did you hear something?"
"No," Haejin said. "But Sera is being carried by Minjae. Should we be concerned?"
"Very concerned," Jiyoung said. "But also... kind of impressed."
"We are terrible friends."
"The worst."
They followed behind us, still arguing.
And I, Seraphyne, Celestial Being of the Tribunal Courts, former weapon of the gods, hunter of demons and banisher of all unworthy, was carried across the school courtyard like I was made out of nothing.
This is the worst day of my mortal life, I thought.
And also the best.
Stupid heart.
Stupid Minjae.
Stupid camping trip that I had definitely not forgotten about.
Actually, I had definitely forgotten about it. But no one needed to know that.