Banished Divinity: Learning to be Human

"Sera?" Minjae finally caught up. He was slightly out of breath, which was ridiculous because he was tall and was able to run miles, and I had only walked a few metres ahead.

"You disappeared," he said.

"I did not disappear. I walked."

"You walked very fast."

"I walk with purpose."

"You walked like you were chasing something."

I considered this. "I suppose I was."

He blinked. "Chasing what?"

I looked at the record shop. At the faded posters. At the music still drifting through the air. "A memory," I said.

Minjae tilted his head. "A memory of what?"

I was quiet. How exactly was I supposed to answer that? A rainy night in a place where people order food, sit and eat and talk whatever humans talk about, that probably no longer exists. A girl with a name tag name Margie, dress in a blue dress who played the same song I lost count after she played 4 times in a row. A shadow beast that escaped, because I was distracted by that girl name Margie, who smiled like she hadn't yet learned that the world could be cruel.

Humans tended to react strangely when I answered honestly.

"You look like you're having a moment," Minjae said.

"I am a celestial being. I do not have 'moments.' except for Pizza, which I approve. I have 'extended periods of contemplation.'"

"Is that what you call staring at a record shop?" Minjae asked while looking in the record shop.

" I was examining the collection of things the shop had placed on display, hoping someone would trade their small circle shiny metals for them."

"With tears in your eyes?"

I touched my face. My fingers came away wet.

Damn.

"I am not crying," I said. "I am... leaking. Emotionally. It's a celestial thing."

Minjae raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't understand," I added.

"You're right," he said. "I wouldn't."

He didn't push. I appreciated that.

---

"Do you like this song?" Minjae asked. He wasn't looking at me. He was looking at the record shop, at the faded poster of some singer from decades ago, at the music that still drifted through the air like it had nowhere else to be.

I thought about the question.

Did I like the song? I had heard it across decades. Across continents. Across the entire length of a life that wasn't mine and yet somehow was.

"I knew someone who did," I said.

Minjae looked at me. "Someone from school?"

"No."

"From the neighbourhood?"

"No."

"From... somewhere else?"

I was quiet. Somewhere else. That was one way to put it.

"A long time ago," I said finally. "I met someone who played this song. Over and over. She was young. Nineteen, maybe. She had a name tag that said 'Margie.' She worked at a place where humans order food and sit, eat and talk. The place has chrome counters and red booths."

Minjae's face softened. "You mean a restaurant? An old friend?"

I almost laughed. Old friend.

Margie was probably dead. Not in a tragic way. In a human way. The way all humans eventually become dead. She probably had lived her life, gotten older, maybe married, maybe had children, maybe watched the world change around her while she changed with it. And I had been hunting monsters in other dimensions.

"You could say that" I said.

Minjae nodded. He didn't ask more questions.

I liked that about him.

---

I looked at the record shop again. The song was still playing. Same melody. Same lyrics. Same ache.

Margie was probably gone. Gone for decades. Yet the song remained.

That was the thing about humans. They were temporary. Their lives were brief. Their memories faded. Their bodies failed. But their stories survived. Their music survived. Their love survived.

And somehow, that made it worse and better at the same time. Because I would keep hearing this song. For years. For centuries. For however long I existed in this strange half-life between celestial being and mortal girl.

And Margie would not.

"Humans are strange," I said quietly.

Minjae raised an eyebrow. "You're just realizing this?"

"I have known it for a long time. But sometimes... I forget."

"Forget what?"

That you disappear. That everyone disappears. That I will watch all of you fade while I remain.

"Nothing," I said. "Let's go eat that tet-ti-bo-ki."

Minjae stared at me for a moment. Then he smiled, not his usual smirk, not his sarcastic grin, but something softer.

"It’s called tteokbokki ," he said.

"So, you have been told."

He laughed. I still wasn't entirely sure why humans laughed so often. But Minjae's laugh was nice.

The song faded into the background as we walked away. The purple dinosaur bounced under my arm.

And somewhere lost in time, in a place that probably no longer existed, a girl named Margie was still playing the same song on a tall and boxy, made of wood and glass and something that glowed red and gold.

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