Banished Divinity: Learning to be Human

When we were finally alone—technically not really alone because Human Sera was still floating around screaming and twirling and doing all sorts of "Oh My Gawd" moments—Jaehyun spoke, but his eyes were looking straight at where Minjae had walked off to.

"So, you got my flowers. Do you like them?"

I thought about saying no.

But Human Sera—like Mina—was making the "I'm watching you" gesture. Then she started holding an invisible microphone and miming singing.

A shiver went down my spine.

"Yes," I said reluctantly.

Jaehyun smiled like he was genuinely happy. "That's good. The first good news I've heard today."

"How is your beast?" I asked.

"Dog, you idiot!" Human Sera corrected.

"I mean, your dog," I said quickly.

Jaehyun's smile faded. "I heard you say 'beast,' and that's odd. But well... since you corrected it... Jack is doing okay, but he's deteriorating. Not sure how much time he has left." He looked down at his feet. "He's been with me ever since I was five years old. Through good times and bad. I'm a mess right now."

"Awww... Sera, go hug him," Human Sera said.

"No," I said.

"What did you say?" Jaehyun asked, looking confused. "Why no?"

"Oh, I mean... oh…no... this is not good news," I pretended to speed through the awkwardness.

Jaehyun nodded and looked back down at his feet. He said nothing.

"If you do not hug him now," Human Sera demanded, "I will sing my lungs out like there is no tomorrow. Remember, this is my body, not yours. You want to learn about human emotions? Okay, rule number one: you comfort those who have lost something precious. Imagine you lost Moo Moo. How would that feel?"

I would feel empty, I thought. But I wouldn't want anyone hugging me.

"My thoughts exactly," Human Sera said. "You feel like you need someone to hug you. So go hug him."

That's not what I was thinking. But what the hell. At least I'll be able to sleep tonight. I thought and rolled my eyes.

I took a few steps forward. I extended my arms awkwardly, bracing myself for the hug.

"OMG! Sera, you look like a strained mother hen trying to cover her only surviving chick from the rain!" Human Sera shrieked. "More expression! Like you're sad too!"

I tried my best to do what Human Sera wanted. My face crumpled like a wet, shrivelled potato or a cabbage.

Celestial beings do not do emotions, I thought. This is so hard.

Before I could actually hug him—or before he could react—the gate slammed open.

Mina stood there, arms crossed. "Times up, you two! Sera, get in!"

Great timing Tangled Mance saved me!

"Well," Jaehyun said quickly, stepping back, "I guess I'll see you at school. Sorry again."

"It's okay," I said with so much of relief, walking toward the gate. "I hope your dog gets well soon."

I waved goodbye.

I went past Mina. Before she closed the gate, she made the "I'm watching you" gesture one more time.

Jaehyun visibly gulped.

---

The moment I stepped inside, I was ambushed.

Mum was waiting in the hallway, her arms crossed, her eye already twitching. Dad was beside her, holding a kitchen knife—not in a threatening way, I don't think—and staring at the door like he expected an army to follow me in.

"Well?" Mum said.

"Well, what?" I asked.

"How was it? The date? The boy? The—"

"It wasn't a date," I said. "Jaehyun's dog is sick. Minjae brought me the flowers and took me to dinner instead."

"MINJAE?" Dad's grip on the knife tightened. "The Gate-Rammer? The one who pushed you and now almost kissed you?"

"He didn't almost kiss me. He was looking at something on my face." I said.

"WHAT WAS ON YOUR FACE?" Dad demanded.

"I don't know! Nothing! Probably a crumb!" I rolled my eyes.

Dad squinted at me. "You're lying."

"I am a celestial being. I do not lie."

Human Sera appeared beside me, still laughing. "Oh, this is gold. Pure gold. I'm so glad I'm dead so I don't have to go through this interrogation."

"Shut up," I muttered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Mum and Dad said at the same time.

"Nothing. I said nothing. I'm going to bed to get some shut eye or eyes."

"The night is young!" Mina called from the living room, where she was already sketching something that looked suspiciously like Minjae getting hit by a bus. "Tell us everything! Did he hold your hand? Did he try to kiss you? Did you—"

"GOODNIGHT, MINA."

I stomped up the stairs.

Behind me, I heard Mum say, "Daniel, put down the knife."

"I'm just holding it. For comfort."

"It's a kitchen knife, Daniel. Not a security blanket."

"It can be both!" Dad cried.

I closed my bedroom door.

---

Human Sera floated through the wall—because of course she did—and settled onto my bed, still giggling.

"That was amazing," she said. "You were terrible at the whole date thing. And the hug thing. And the walking thing. And the talking thing. Honestly, I'm impressed you didn't accidentally announce your celestial heritage to the entire restaurant."

"I thought about it," I admitted.

"I know. I saw you staring at that lady. Did you think she was an angel?"

"She sparkled." I said.

"She was wearing expensive jewellery, Sera. That's not sparkling. That's wealth." Human Sera rolled her eyes.

I flopped onto my bed. Moo Moo was with Lily tonight, so the pillow felt empty. Wrong. Like something was missing.

"I miss him," I said quietly.

"Moo Moo?"

"Yes. And also... I don't know. Something else."

Human Sera floated down and sat cross-legged on the pillow beside me. Her ghostly face—my face—was soft. Understanding.

"You miss being sure," she said. "Of who you are. Of what you want. Of why you're here."

I didn't answer.

"That's normal," she continued. "Being human is mostly not being sure. And then pretending you are. And then realizing everyone else is pretending too. It's exhausting. But it's also kind of beautiful."

"I don't feel beautiful. I feel like a wet cabbage."

Human Sera laughed. "That's Mina's insult. Don't steal it."

"Fine. I feel like a sad, wet, celestial cabbage."

"Better." Smiled Human Sera.

We were quiet for a moment.

Then I said, "He's not Valerion."

"Who?"

"Kaelen Vance. The man with the expensive suit at the restaurant. He's not the Linchpin King. He's just... a mortal. With a mortal wife. And mortal cells. And a mortal love for mortal food."

Human Sera tilted her head. "And that bothers you?"

"I don't know." I stared at the ceiling. "I thought... if he was here, if the Tribunal had reincarnated him as a normal human... maybe they could do the same for me. Maybe I could stop being a celestial being trapped in a mortal body and just... be mortal. Fully. Without the memories. Without the longing. Without the constant, aching sense that I don't belong here."

Human Sera was quiet for a long time.

Then she said, very softly, "Do you really want that? To forget everything?"

I thought about it.

The realms I had seen. The battles I had fought. The demons I had banished. The stars I had watched burn out. The friends and family I have made and gained by being in Human Sera’s body— and if celestial beings could have friends and a family— would I leave them behind?

"No," I said finally. "I don't want to forget. I just want... to not hurt so much. All the time."

Human Sera reached out and put her ghostly hand on mine. I couldn't feel it. But I knew it was there.

"Yeah," she said. "I know that feeling."

We stayed like that for a while.

Then I picked up my phone and looked at Jaehyun's messages. The fourteen missed ones. The three missed calls.

I typed: Hope Jack feels better. Let me know if you need anything.

Three dots appeared.

Jaehyun: Thanks, Sera. That means a lot. Maybe we can reschedule? When things are better?

I looked at Human Sera.

She was nodding so hard her ghostly head looked like it might fall off.

Yes, I typed. Whenever you're ready.

Jaehyun: You're the best, he replied. Goodnight, Sera.

Me: Goodnight, Jaehyun.

Human Sera screamed silently—a silent scream of pure, undiluted joy that somehow still hurt my ears.

"THIS IS HAPPENING! THE ROMANCE IS HAPPENING! I'M GOING TO DIE AGAIN!"

"You're already dead."

"THEN I'M GOING TO DIE HARDER!"

I put down my phone. I closed my eyes.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard Mum and Dad still arguing about the knife. I heard Mina's pencil scratching against paper. I heard the soft hum of the night, the gentle breathing of a world that didn't care about celestial beings or reincarnated kings or girls who couldn't walk in heels.

And for the first time in a very long time, that felt like enough.

---

But enough wasn't enough.

At around 11pm, I received a text from an unknown number. It said: "Hey, earlier on, I asked whether you would be free to hang out tomorrow? Let's meet for lunch. I'll pick you up from your home at 11am?"

I stared at the phone and contemplated.

Maybe it was Yuna again. That scum bitch, trying to plot my death. It takes a celestial mind to know who the enemy is—and this smelled like enemy. Or at least like someone who wanted something. Mortals always wanted something.

"Sera," Human Sera said, floating upside down beside my head, "if you are thinking what I think you are thinking—because you are staring at the screen like you're preparing to end someone's life—that is not Yuna. That is Minjae. Don't you remember what he asked earlier before My Man appeared from the shadows?"

"So, you were listening after all?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Only a bit." She shrugged, her ghostly shoulders doing that annoying floaty thing. "So go hang with him and give Dad another reason to cry."

I stared at the message again. Minjae. Gate-Rammer. The boy who had watched me study, who had defended me to Yuna, who had taken me to a restaurant so fancy it didn't have prices on the menu.

"I shall not do that," I said firmly. "I shall decline and stare into the void instead."

"You're going," Human Sera said.

"I am not."

"You are. Because if you don't, I will sing."

"You wouldn't."

"🎵 THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIVE... 🎵"

"FINE. FINE. I'll go. STOP." Raising my hands up in surrender.

Human Sera grinned. "That's what I thought. Now sleep. Tomorrow, we prepare."

"We?"

"You. I'm just here for emotional support and sarcastic commentary." Giggled Human Sera

"I don't want either."

"Too bad. You're getting both."

I typed back: Fine.

And Human Sera didn’t even correct me one bit.

---

Later that night, while Sera slept peacefully beneath a roof filled with laughter and love, another girl sat alone in a house just as grand—but far colder.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a small pearlescent wrapper she had carried for weeks.

One girl had found a family.

The other believed she had finally found someone who understood her.