Banished Divinity: Learning to be Human

The morning sun was beginning to stream through the high windows, painting the scattered notebooks and overturned chairs in gold. Minjae turned to face me, and the light caught his features in a way that made him look almost… celestial.

Almost.

"Oh. My. Minjae looks so handsome in the sun," Human Sera floated beside me, her voice practically beaming. She had her ghostly hands pressed to her ghostly cheeks like she was watching the season finale of a drama.

"No, he doesn't," I whispered, but my heart was beating very fast. Stupid heart. Stupid sun. Stupid Gate-rammer for standing in it.

"What did you say?" Minjae asked, tilting his head.

"Nothing." I straightened my spine and summoned my most celestial tone. "Why are you here?"

"Sera, I was seated at the back of the theatre the whole time, and you didn't even notice." He shrugged. "Besides, I went out to get a drink, and I just returned coming from the front so I wouldn't scare you."

I narrowed my eyes. A celestial being such as myself could detect mortal lies with ease. He was hiding something. "You're lying."

Human Sera floated down beside me. "You know it's a lie, right? I mean, he acted like he knows and knew what to say. And he defended you without even asking. Who does that?"

Then she paused. Floated her whole body up. Then floated back down quickly. "Erm… Sera? He's not lying. His things are actually at the back of the theatre."

Horrified, I turned around.

At the far end of the hall, near the last row, sat a book, a notebook, and an empty bottle of water. Right where he said he had been sitting.

"Well," Minjae said, scratching the back of his neck this time (new observation #64), "I would have said 'hi' to you, but you were busy studying. Really studying out loud. I didn't want to disturb you." He laughed. "Also, you were arguing with yourself about coffee shop monopolies, and honestly, it was entertaining."

I felt my soul leave my body for a brief moment. "I was not arguing with myself."

"You were. You said, and I quote the latest out loud comment, 'Summon a thunderbolt on their roof. '" He raised an eyebrow. "That's not a standard study technique, last I checked."

"That was… a hypothetical."

"A hypothetical thunderbolt?"

"Yes."

"On a coffee shop."

"The coffee shop was being unreasonable."

Minjae nodded slowly, his grin widening. "Right. Of course. My mistake."

Human Sera was practically rolling on the floor laughing, except she was a ghost, so she just sort of hovered horizontally and shook. "Oh, I like him. I like him a lot."

"So, you saw the whole thing? The whole fight?" I asked, desperately changing the subject.

"Yeah. I mean, you really kick ass. Not like how you were before."

I froze. "How I was before?"

Minjae's eyes flickered. He recovered quickly. "I mean, how you were previously… where you got beaten up badly." He cleared his throat. "I'm very proud of you that you fought back. You've told me many times they kept picking on you. I tried to offer you help, but you always refused."

I gave a sharp side-eye to Human Sera, who was suddenly whistling very loudly and pointing at an empty corner of the room. "Wow! Look at that! A flower!"

There was no flower.

"Human Sera," I said through gritted teeth, barely moving my lips, "there is no flower."

"There is a spiritual flower," she whispered back. "You wouldn't get it. You're not dead."

"I am a celestial being."

"Same thing, different font."

I decided to ignore her before I said something that made Minjae call for an ambulance for crazy people. "Well," I said, turning back to him, "I guess I don't need your help."

"Yeah. You don't." He grinned. "But hey. We've still got twenty minutes before class starts. Let's review comparative advantage. I have a feeling you're going to need to know it." He beamed like he was looking at his favourite thing in the world.

"OH! MY! GAWD!! SERA!! I THINK HE LIKES YOU!!" Human Sera screamed directly into my ear.

I was mid-sip of my water. I spat everything out in a fine, undignified mist.

Minjae blinked. He looked down at his shirt. Then back at me. Then down at his shirt again. "Wow. What the hell?"

I examined the damage. There was a small wet patch on his sleeve. A very small patch. Microscopic, even. "Sorry. Not sorry." I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and turned sharply toward my desk, pretending nothing had happened. "Sure. We can review."

"Did you just mist-tified water on me and then say, 'not sorry'?"

"I did."

"While maintaining direct eye contact?"

"Yes. I am a celestial being. We do not apologize for hydration-related incidents."

Minjae stared at me for a long moment. Then he laughed—a real laugh, not the evil one from earlier. "You're so weird."

"I prefer the term 'cosmically unconventional.'"

"That's not a thing."

"It is now. I invented it. Put it in your observation log."

I sat down. I did not respond to anything Human Sera had said. I did not look at her. I did not acknowledge her existence.

Human Sera floated beside me, her form bright and solid once more. She didn't say anything for a long while. She just looked at me—at the girl who was living the life she had left behind—and her smile was proud.

Then Minjae jogged up the stairs toward the back of the hall. "Great! Let me get my stuff!"

I watched him go. Against my will. My eyes betrayed me.

"You're watching him walk away," Human Sera said.

"I am observing mortal motion for scientific purposes."

"He has nice shoulders."

"I did not notice."

"You definitely noticed. You just wrote 'nice shoulders' in your imaginary observation log."

I had, in fact, done that. "Shut up."

I stared straight ahead at the whiteboard.

"You're blushing," Human Sera whispered.

"I am a celestial being," I whispered back. "Celestial beings do not blush."

"You're blushing so hard right now. Your face is the colour of a tomato. A very embarrassed tomato."

"I will smite you."

"No, you won't. You like me." smirked Human Sera

"I like you less with every passing second."

"That's not what your face says." Human Sera smirked got wider.

I did not dignify that with a response. But I also did not stop smiling.

Minjae came jogging back down the stairs, his book and notebook tucked under one arm, his half-empty water bottle in the other. He dropped everything onto the desk next to mine with a satisfying thud.

"Okay," he said, pulling out a chair. "Comparative advantage. Ready?"

"No."

"Too bad." He flipped open his notebook. "Let's say you're really good at two things: fighting off bullies and doing economics."

"That's a very specific example."

"Shut up. And let's say I'm also good at two things: being tall and making inappropriate comments during serious moments."

"That's not a skill."

"It's a talent. Stop looking at me like that, I can see you are judging me. But it's true, its pure talent" He pointed his pen at me. "Now concentrate. If you spend all your time doing both things, you'll get tired. So, you should focus on what you're best at, and I'll focus on what I'm best at, and then we trade."

I raised an eyebrow. "What exactly are you offering to trade?"

"Emotional support," Minjae said. "And also, I know where the good vending machine is."

"The one on the third floor?" I raised one of my eyebrows.

"Yeah," he replied.

"That vending machine is terrible. It ate my coins twice."

"Exactly." Minjae leaned closer, his eyes gleaming. "You need someone who knows how to negotiate with it. I have a system."

"What system?" I asked, already suspicious.

"I kick it. Hard." He demonstrated a half-kick under the desk. "Works every time."

I stared at him. "That's not economics. That's violence."

Minjae shrugged, completely unbothered. "Violence is just economics with extra steps."

Human Sera was hovering behind Minjae, giving me two enthusiastic thumbs up and mouthing the words MARRY HIM.

I pretended not to see.

"Fine," I said, picking up my pen. "Let's review. But if you make one more joke about thunderbolts, I'm leaving."

"Deal." He grinned. "No thunderbolt jokes. I promise."

There was a pause.

"You're thinking about a thunderbolt joke right now, aren't you?" I said.

"Maybe."

"Don't."

"I'm not saying anything."

"Your face is saying everything."

He bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. "Comparative advantage. Go."

I sighed. But I was smiling.

Stupid heart.