Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Yeah, riffing off what I said yesterday, I think I'm finally starting to realize the reason people turn to me for things like leadership. Leadership, Justice, being the Moral Compass.

It's... It's really not a great thing, but I understand it, and that means I can own it, and that means maybe I can hold myself accountable and make it a better thing than it is by default.

The reason why people turn to me for that stuff, the one that it's taken me a long time to confront, is because I'm the one with the power to enforce my will.

I mean, it's not the only reason. I hope it's not the only reason. I think if Saffron... No, Saffron wouldn't turn on me if I went evil, but I think she might be disappointed, and might say something to make me think about it. Shit, even if the only reason she'd do that is because she's seen me collapse when I've failed to uphold my own morals, she likes me, loves me, and doesn't want me upset. But some of the other folks who turn to me have made apparently sincere mouth noises to the effect that the values and morals I've proposed are not only acceptable to them, but possibly substantially better than anybody else has proposed.

Or, at least anybody with the power to enforce them on people like Gods and Dragons.

An important distinction, Daughter. There have been many who have proposed, even championed the idea of more moral behavior, but few with the power to enforce that behavior.

Fuck. Why I gotta have teaching moments with Dad. Yeah, that's part of it right there though.

What is?

Morals. I kinda prefer Values, ideas about what's important. Because if morals aren't individually based on those, they're either completely random or just rules handed down from on high. I thought about that for a second, then tried to explain. If somebody knows what I think is important, and agrees with me, then if they get in a situation where the Morality is iffy, they can fall back on those Values. But if all they've got is a set of rules, and those rules have gaps, they wind up having no Compass.

So you dictate Values instead?

I wondered if this was what normal kids hit with their parents eventually. Shit, I wondered if I'd ever be on the other end of this conversation with Isnomi, or Ria, or Maze. Nah. Wouldn't work. I mean, if they're looking for a set, and I offer mine, and they agree to them, sure. Even better if that set resonates with them so much that they kinda had them already, and came looking for me because of them. Or maybe we just kinda found each other because of that. I thought about that again, and added, honestly, I'd rather they had them already and just joined up with me because we agreed on fundamentals.

Dad's reply came back tinged with honest curiosity. Why?

Because then they'll argue with me if they think I'm wrong.

You'd abdicate your Divine Authority to Mortals?

His question came out with more real confusion than I thought it would, but then I didn't think he'd ask it. Generational thing, I guess, only he was way more generations older than me than I could comfortably think about. Yeah, no, I'm not abdicating anything, but I also think that whole Divine Authority thing is maybe stressed too much. I paused, then interrupted whatever he was thinking by asking, you omniscient?

I rather think you'd have your mother chastise me should I use my Trickster's prerogative to lie to you and say 'yes'.

I chuckled at that. Damn straight I would. But that's my point. I don't think even Deities of Knowledge are omniscient. Shit, I think Conrad might be the closest to that, and even he will admit he's not. So by extension? Even though our power makes our words true, we can still be fuckin' wrong.

Enlightenment colored his words as he said, so you'd have them provide defense against... Divine Hubris?

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's not far from what I was thinking.

I think I need to ponder this a bit. Because when I was younger I might have dismissed this all as blasphemy, and even three years ago might have thought of it as hopelessly idealistic, I've come to realize that my Daughter is wiser than her years.

I smiled without thinking about it. Only because I'm standing on the shoulders of a literal giant. That being my Dad. Because he's the best.

I know.

Yeah, guess I get to be the Moral Compass for my Dad, too, now. Meh, he's helped me out in that regard plenty of times, maybe we can keep each other in check. Not like my fundamentally amoral Kitten is gonna do that. Seriously, I love her, but that means I pay attention to her, and while she has many wonderful qualities, an internal Moral Compass is not one of those. Which is why she was so eager to find one she trusted.

I'm still kinda honored and flabbergasted that she chose me. Guess I gotta live up to that.

Speaking of people who repeatedly chose to follow me, yesterday as sunset approached Karen told me Larry needed me for Justice reasons. Which did not bode well, because the only people I knew of who he couldn't administer Justice to all on his own were Deific in nature. So as soon as the Trolls saluted, barked out, "Legate!" and marched out, followed by the Selkies who'd all collected their skins, I stepped to the Temple of Love.

Larry stood there chatting with Karen. So much amusement, seeing two objectively hot people talking with, like, zero interest in one another. Yes, I think that's another sign of my ongoing maturation, that I can acknowledge that Bonnie's taste in men is not abysmal while still remaining one hundred percent devoted to the idea of never finding out what Larry feels like twelve inches inside me.

Yeah, he's been to the Homestead and joined us in the Bath once or twice now, and Bonnie was neither lying nor exaggerating. Which, since she seems to like it, good for her. I dunno, with Mama Driver and Angel's mom all into Mister Driver getting into them, maybe it's a Bag thing. Gotta find out if my Kitten has just been waiting for me to stretch her out like a balloon and shit.

At any rate, the moment I arrived Karen glanced over at me, at which point he turned to me, relief clear on his face. "Commander. Thank you for coming."

I shrugged, held out my arms for a hug, which he accepted, although in kind of a businesslike way. "Hey, you put my name in your Patron slot, you've put your ass on the line for me and mine more than once, I think you've got every reason to expect me to come around and help you out when you call for me." I let him step back until my hands rested on his shoulders. Strange thing, while he hadn't changed in any major way, he'd matured in all kinds of minor ways that left me reminded of his father. Not in a bad way, mind you. But where Lachlan was always gonna be at least a little bit of a man child, Larry had obviously matured into a whole assed grown, responsible man. "So, what did you need me for?"

He frowned. "Didn't Highest Priestess Smith tell you?"

I shrugged. "She mentioned Justice, but I was a little involved wrapping up class; she told me it was important, and sort of urgent, but nobody was bleeding out."

He nodded. "Yes. I'm..." He paused, mouth open, then shook his head, sighing. "I'm at a loss. Or rather, I think that no matter what I do, something unfortunate will occur, so I..."

I waited, but he seemed to be arguing with himself. "Hey, look, Larry, you sure you want to come to me with this?" When he gave me a look, I said, "not tryna weasel out, but your dad is still Lord Lancaster, right?"

He shrugged. "He hasn't been home except for holidays since... Since I confronted him about Bonnie and I marrying."

"Whoa. Okay." I realized something, almost discarded it, then realized that I'd be wrong to do so, especially because Larry seemed to have landed on an entirely different, but definitely erroneous conclusion about that. "You know what that means, right?"

He frowned, gaze dropping to his feet. "That my father and I are estranged, even after all I've done to restore our family's good name."

I dropped one hand, but shook him a little with the other, even as I shook my head. "Nope." When he looked at me, I said, "I know your dad. I can't say I really like him, but I know him. I've gotten to know him over the past couple years, watched him work with Saffron on the Grand Council. I mean, I mostly watch her, but I can't exactly not see him there too. It's not like there are hundreds of Grand Councilors."

I waited, and after searching my face he nodded. "And?"

"Your father does his dead level best for the Alliance, but he honestly doesn't give a shit about the Alliance per se." When Larry looked confused, I explained, "he cares about exactly one thing and one thing alone. Lancaster House. Well, 'House Lancaster', like the two are different things."

He shrugged. "If some disaster destroyed our ancestral home, it could be rebuilt."

I nodded. "Yeah, okay. My point, though?" I waited until he nodded. "He's left you in charge there. He's been there often enough to see the changes you're making." I paused. "Has he looked at the books?"

He nodded, slowly. "He seemed... Annoyed... That I'd had Bonnie managing them, that she was part of our discussion. But not..." He petered off.

"Did he criticize her?"

He rocked his head side to side. "Once. He expressed disapproval over some of her accounting methods. At which point she explained in great detail," he smiled ruefully, "more than I honestly understood, why she'd done what she'd done. Since then he has questioned, but never criticized. Not that I could tell."

I smiled. "Yeah. She's a little like me."

"How so?"

"I talk a good game about being an idiot too, but I'm smarter than I let myself believe. I've gotten pretty good in the kitchen, and I know a lot of, I dunno, practical shit I remember from back in the day. Back where I'm from. She grew up doing bookkeeping, and she's done that for your House through two major military campaigns."

He chuckled. "I may tell her you said that."

"Good. She needs to realize, if she doesn't already. Anyhow, he's seen the books, right?" Larry nodded. "So he's made two very rational choices, because that's the kind of choice he makes most often, when he's got time to think. Rational ones."

"They are?"

"First, that he trusts you with Lancaster House. Trusts you to run everything there in his absence."

I waited and watched as that sank in. Funny, I think he even stood a little straighter, and he'd never really cringed, except maybe early on after his dad showed up at the Academy. "And the other?"

Quietly, so it wouldn't carry to the rest of the Temple, because people had begun to arrive for the night's service, I said, "that he trusts you more than he trusts himself." When he opened his mouth to argue, I added, "if he trusted himself to let you work without jostling your elbow? He'd be there watching you like a hawk. But he's decided you're the future of his House." I chuckled. "You and your bouncing bride."

He smirked. "Isn't it the babes who are normally the bouncy ones?"

"Yeah, but she's an absolute babe of the highest order, and if you tell me you've never watched those bodacious tatas of hers bounce while you made them do so, I'm gonna either call you a liar or deeply, deeply deprived."

He blushed. "I... Uh... I like to watch her eyes."

I laughed, pulled him into a side hug, and said, "why don't we head back to your place so Karen can start the evening's service?"

He nodded, I gave Karen a quick hug with my other arm, and then let Larry step the two of us...

Not to Lancaster House. It took me a couple seconds to recognize the first Homestead we'd visited in Lancaster lands. Before I could ask, Larry turned to me and said, "a moment, please?"

When I nodded, he stepped away, then returned a moment later with Andre in tow. Honestly, I almost didn't recognize him in his Academy uniform.

"Commander, I trust you remember Andre Lancaster?"

That took me aback a little until I remembered. Then I chuckled. "Keeping the better parts of the old customs, huh?"

He nodded. "I do try to keep those of our Lancaster ways that aren't... Well... Atrocious. Ennobling those of the family who earn the right to call themselves Heroes seems a good one."

"Fair enough." I turned to Andre. "Good to see you!" I held out a hand and an arm. He accepted the handshake, but didn't seem into the hug, so I dropped my arm. "So what's he got to do with the Justice thing?"

"Tell her, Andre."

Andre nodded, then spoke in a voice that had to be a half octave lower than what I remember. Then again, maybe he'd just stopped deliberately raising it to seem less... Less. "I've been patrolling the eastern ends of Lancaster lands since I was promoted. Two days ago I stopped by the Homestead north of here, and when..." He hesitated.

"Go on, Andre." Before Andre could, Larry turned to me and said, "just so you understand, Andre has been trying, much as I have, to find the balance between our traditions and... Justice? No. Virtuousness, I should think is a better word."

"Heh. Way better than what I'd come up with. Okay, so no shame to you about this, Andre. If your boss couldn't decide on his own, sure as shit you were right to kick it up to him."

Andre nodded, relaxing just a little. "When the Homesteader offered me the comfort of his women's quarters, I accepted. Not... Not to have sex with them, but so I could talk to them, make sure things were okay with them. Because..." He petered out, like he couldn't figure out how to say what he wanted to say.

"Because somebody who'd offer you sex with the women ostensibly under his protection didn't sit right?"

He shrugged. "Something like that."

"So... Something wasn't right?"

He sighed. "One of the women... One of the ones who claimed the Title of Wife, accused the Homesteader of rape."

Yeah, I might have gotten a little quiet at that. If Larry didn't, I realized it was entirely because he was waiting to hear from me. "Did you believe her?"

He nodded, then rocked his head from side to side. "I... I found her story credible. Both of her own violation and that of her fellow Wives. But none of them would confirm or deny her story, and the Heir," he nodded toward Larry, "has been real strict about evidence and..." He kinda petered out, looking for words again.

"You didn't want to fuck shit up, so you went to him for backup and guidance?" He nodded. "Wait, two days ago? You must have been moving."

"Hero Lancaster hasn't slept since then, Commander."

I reached out and gripped Andre's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Good man." I briefly thought about timing, about waiting for morning, then thought about what it would be like every night for a woman in that position. I shook my head, thinking, Kitten? I'm gonna be out late tonight.

I felt her briefly looking through my eyes. By the expressions on their faces, I assume Just Happening is not the reason?

Women got raped a day north of here. We're gonna take care of it.

My lovely Kitten's jovial mood dampened in an instant. Remember that you are Champion of the Alliance, Tabitha. I will be here waiting when you've seen Justice done.

That done, I turned to Larry. "Have you been there enough to Translocate?" He shook his head, and I turned to Andre. "Can I borrow that mirror in your dressing room?"

He looked confused, but nodded. We all trooped in to the main house, up the steps, and through the bedroom, where we said hello to Azalea, who was nursing a kid with curly dark hair that reminded me a little of mine from back in the day. When we got to the mirror, I asked, "what's the woman's name?"

"Bronwen Landau."

I Shaped a Scry in the mirror, pouring Mana in. It surprised me a little how much it took, but a few seconds later the Scry cleared to show the image of a woman huddled in a bed, shuddering. Before I could step us there, Larry asked, "why not use the Scrying Room, Commander?"

"Didn't think of it." I grabbed his hand and Andre's and stepped us next to Bronwen. The moment our feet hit the floor, she jerked and looked up at us. Before she could speak, I held up a hand, then looked around. Six other women lay in beds around the room. I'd seen worse 'women's quarters' back when the Expedition came through, but I'd also seen significantly better. A glance at the door showed me a complete lack of bars or locks on this side, which just confirmed what I'd been thinking.

Then I realized, the women in the room could be sisters, or maybe cousins. All of them with the classic Dan features and coloration, although their hair leaned more to 'golden' like Larry's and Lachlan's rather than Siobhan's platinum. "Are you guys sisters?" I blurted out.

One of them grimaced, then spat out, "Bronwen and I are cousins, but... No. Teodor simply has a type."

I nodded. "Okay. I'm gonna ask you something. Real simple. But I want you to understand, I am not here to judge the seven of you." When they all nodded, expressions ranging from Terror to Hope, and even those with Hope flickering in their eyes looking low key Terrified, I asked, "has the Homesteader raped any of you?"

Bronwen's cousin barked out a laugh. When I narrowed my eyes, she said, with a cadence that told me she was quoting, "how can one rape one's wife?"

I sucked my teeth. "Simple. You say no and he fucks you anyhow. Or he doesn't let you say no. Or he's threatened you with violence if you say no." I watched as with each statement I made, one or more of the women winced. "Yeah. I might... Maybe... If somebody was otherwise a shining beacon of morality whose intimate companions all vouched for their sterling moral character, be convinced that somebody misheard, or misread a situation. Any of you think that's the case?"

They all looked at one another, and if five of them maybe glared at one of them who opened her mouth, all the rest shook their heads. I looked at that one and asked, "what's your name?"

When Bronwen's cousin opened her mouth, I held up a hand. She got a booger look, but subsided until the odd woman out said, "Kathleen."

"Okay, Kathleen, you were gonna say?"

"It's... I... Nothing..."

I shook my head. "No, seriously, if this fucker did this sick shit, he's gonna pay for it, but I don't want somebody saying we didn't hear everybody out. If you're afraid the others are gonna hurt you, Larry can move you to Lancaster House for your own safety."

"She'll need it," Bronwen's cousin muttered.

I turned on her. "Your name?"

"Beatrice."

"Okay, Beatrice. Why?" When she frowned, I shook my head. "Look, Beatrice. I may be a lot of things, but omniscient isn't one of them. Why are you pissed at her?"

"Bronwen?" When Beatrice said that, Bronwen rolled over and looked at us. Her eye and jaw had both purpled, and the eye itself was bloodshot. I ground my teeth for a second, then said, "Larry?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Take Bronwen to Karen for Healing, then come right back here."

He didn't pause, didn't ask, just moved. I turned to Kathleen. "Why?"

She collapsed, her ass hitting her bunk with a thud. "He... I..." Then she started sobbing.

I shook my head. "Shit." I turned to Beatrice. "I get why you'd be pissed. But he's done it to her too, hasn't he?" Wordlessly, she nodded. "Okay. So..." I sighed. "Yeah. She did something shitty. Broken people do." Larry returned a few seconds later. "Larry?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Bronwen okay?"

"Highest Priestess Smith assures me she will be." I noticed a subtle slump of relief from Beatrice, which spread through the rest of the women.

"I want you to take Kathleen to Lancaster House. This asshole broke her, but I don't think she or the rest of the ladies here are gonna be able to get past this on their own."

He nodded, reached out, and a moment later Kathleen and he were gone. Beatrice hissed something out.

I turned to her. "You really think she thought she had a choice?" She didn't look convinced, and I shook my head. "Yeah, execrable judgement, but like I said, broken people do that shit. We'll revisit that later. Right now..." I stepped over to the door, and as I heard Larry land behind me, Mana Bladed the locks away before pulling it open. It still stuck a little. Very little, and I'd been holding back some pissed off for a while now. Three steps later and I did the same to the door from the kitchen to the rest of the house.

A big, heavyset dude with dark, curly hair spun about from where he sat at a table full of men. "What is the meaning of this!"

He started to rise, but my hand on his shoulder kept his ass firmly in his chair. The rest of the dudes at the table looked like they were gonna stand up, but Larry glared at them, and they chose life. "Hi. I'm Tabitha Diaz. Champion of the Alliance, in case you weren't aware. You're the Holder here?"

"I am Teodor Landau, yes."

"The women here told me you raped them. Anything to say for yourself?"

He scowled. Tried to stand. Got about as far as he had last time. "They are my Wives! A man cannot rape his Wife!"

"Like hell he can't. So you had sex with them even after they said no?" He opened his mouth, and I leaned in. "If you lie to me, I will pull your asshole out through your mouth and hang you by your own intestines." He blanched, and I squeezed his shoulder. Not enough to rip it off. Maybe enough to bruise. Probably enough to bruise. "Did. You. Force. Them."

He winced. Inhaled through his nose. Then looked at Larry, sneering. "So it's fine when generations of you Dan do it, but now that a Bag is a Holder, the rules change?"

I swear, I'd seen Larry at his best and worst, and that... That hit him hard. I realized what I needed to do in that instant, and shot Saffron my whole assed plan with a simple, Kitten?

I felt her icy rage, savage satisfaction, and veiled frustration as she thought back, on it.

"Larry?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"You expect Holders to show good judgement, right?"

That was all it took to break him free of his momentary freeze. "I do." He stepped forward. "Holder Teodor Landau?"

Teodor pouted. I squeezed, and he winced and said, "yes?" When I squeezed again, he whined out, "yes, Heir Lancaster?"

"As the Commander said, I expect better judgement from my Holders. You are hereby stripped of your holdings."

"You can't..." He whined to a stop as he tried to lunge up and did nothing more than injure his already bruised shoulder. The rest of the dudes at the table looked... Speculative. "Yeah, you might want to have a long heart to heart with the rest of these guys before you choose somebody to replace him."

Larry nodded. "I will."

"Okay then. You want this guy hanging around?"

Larry took the cue like a champ. "Teodor Landau, I hereby exile you from Lancaster lands, effective immediately."

I turned to Andre and asked Larry. "You mind if I borrow Hero Lancaster here for a bit?"

Larry just nodded and said, "I'll take care of things from here." He didn't even bother looking at Teodor. "If you could see that he's dealt with?"

I shrugged, smiled, and took Andre's hand. "Yeah, I'm gonna delegate that."

Then I stepped us all to the Camden Yards Heroic Academy Practice Yard, where I felt Saffron stepping away, leaving Bill, Angel, and Bill's parents standing there in the moonlight. "Hey, Bill. Angel. Mr. And Mrs. Driver. I think you ought to hear what Hero Lancaster here has to tell you."