Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

In case it's not clear, I have not forgotten that in twenty-three days, shit of some sort will go down.

I'm tryna not freak out about it, tryna not make this everyone else's problem, but I am lowkey freaking out about it.

You didn't mention anything yesterday.

Did you miss the part about me tryna not make it everyone else's problem?

Dad sighed in my brain. Daughter, that is explicitly what family therapy is for, is it not?

Funny, I shake my head sometimes when I'm talking with Dad or my ladies in my head. Kinda very much like cell phones, really. Nah. It's supposed to be so we can share burdens, help each other carry the things that are too heavy for us.

And the difference between that and making something everyone else's problem?

Yeah, Dad loves me, but sometimes that can be a pain in the ass when I want to be irrational in unhealthy ways. Fine. But there is a difference, and beside that, it's not something that's too heavy for me. Also, I talked about it back when Mom... I mean Domnu died.

Yeah, that got a hell of a pause. Perhaps you need to speak more about that, now that you can once again refer to her like that.

She's not exactly in the running for mother of the year.

And yet her daughter, who might be, remains upset as acknowledging her as her own mother. Which is a sign that all is not well.

I gave it one more try. Can't a woman clarify something when she's ambiguous?

Yeah, Dad's not stupid. Is that what you were doing?

...

Yeah, unfortunately Dad's incarceration has left him with an abundance of patience. Some guys go that way, with nothing to do they get real good at doing nothing when it suits them.

No.

Well then. Sunday?

Yeah, okay. Sunday.

So yeah. Gonna talk it over with the fam, but given a certain bitchy someone's connection to her, to Tallulah, and her targeting me, I can't help but think she's gonna be involved. Which, if she is, and she doesn't rabbit even faster than she did at the Battle of the Channel, I am gonna invert her insides and outsides before I impale her on the tentacle next to The Morrigan. Speaking of, I really need to pay that bitch a visit someday soon. I know at one point I decided I was gonna visit her once a Season to see if she'd decided death was better than becoming the world's shittiest sentient hula hoop.

I gotta admit, at this point, given how she's basically refused death and never had a single High Clergy try to contact me, I think she may derive some kind of massively freaky contentment about being my tentacle bling. I'm just hoping she doesn't double down on that and ask me to find some way to inflate her into pool floaty ring status or some shit like that. I also am not sure whether I'm real happy that came out of my own brain when I started thinking about 'what would tentacle bling want'.

Meh. At this point I'm half hoping she threatens some kids so I can just eat her. Or, y'know, kill her, although I'm not sure whether there's a way to make her dead without my Metaphoric self ingesting her, and I'm not sure how to kill somebody who's survived becoming an ever widening torus.

So today was pretty chill. Yesterday came to a sleepy, quiet end when I carried all the kids home, fed them some bisque and toasted bread with butter, scrubbed them all down in the showers, let them soak for a little bit, then tucked them all into bed. Did the same with my ladies, because I was just in a nurturing, caregiving mood, I guess.

Dreamt of my ladies watching the big screen. Apparently my partners decided to sneak off to the Bedroom in pairs. Tallulah and Marie. Saffron and Siobhan. Then they switched partners. Then did it again. Then Siobhan and my Wives, then the two of them with Tallulah, then Marie with both Concubines, followed by Saffron with both of them. Finally, not long before dawn, all of them at once.

Woke up before the end of that, and when they all tumbled back into bed, I snagged Saffron before she could pretend to be asleep, or waking up, or whatever. What's up with the vignettes last night? You guys planning on showing the Temple crowd how it's done?

I'd been on silent since everybody else was still waking up, but her tongue in my mouth kept the conversation that way. Only you, love.

Only me what?

She giggled into my mouth as her tongue taste tested tonsils. Would miss a blatant, repeated invitation.

You know I'm not really, I dunno how to put it, fully coherent like that, right?

You mean embodying your Maw and surrounding tentacles in your, our Dreams?

I thought about that for a second. Yeah. About the size of it. Not as bad as tryna drive my tentacles remotely while I'm awake, but still not for the cluefulness making.

She chuckled enough at that it made her pull away to laugh, pressing her forehead against mine. "Oh, love. You are so precious. Do you think we need you awake to join us?"

I blinked. "Uh... Tentacles?"

She just hummed and smiled, eyes slipping closed.

"I think I've created an entire sorority of monsters."

She opened her eyes, arching an eyebrow. "Are you complaining that we've all become enamored of, how did you put it, hentai tentacle madness?"

"Uh..." I looked around and realized that everybody else except Siobhan and Aoibh had gotten out of bed and were heading about their day. Saffron and I necking was just... Normal, I guess. Maybe the younger girls thought it was 'silly', but they also thought it was a mama's prerogative to be silly on the regular. That warmed something inside me, amusingly something well above the general waist region Saffron normally warmed. "Guess I'm kinda feeling left out?"

She smiled. "Oh, really?"

I chuckled. "Okay, okay, mostly just curious."

Her face fake fell. "Oh. Well, that's too bad."

"Why?"

Over the years my Kitten's Grin has leveled up more than once. At this point it could induce lots of embarrassing reactions in me just by putting in an appearance. "Because I'd hoped to have you looking forward to Ledger Day."

"Not terrified by it?"

Yeah, I'd have to wash the fuckin' sheets again. First world problems. "That too."

With that she twisted around to give Siobhan a kiss while our Darling nursed little Aoibh, then rolled both of us out of bed and sent me toward the door with a slap on the ass. "Go on, time to get to work. Your students are waiting."

So I didn't pay much attention to bodyguarding or cooking or even playing with the kids today. I had a whole new class of Cadets to impress. Which started with sitting up at the high table eating breakfast brought to me by my very own Wifiest of Wifies, including some casual public displays of affection in front of the whole damn Dining Hall.

Yeah, I've gone at it on the Altar at Revels, I am not going to be embarrassed in the slightest at a deep, drawn out, but otherwise innocent kiss from my Wife when she brings me breakfast.

Of course, that slowed me down when it came to eating, and I decided that duBois measured pace really was the best way to go about filling my mouth and ostensible belly with Marie's cooking. Slow, steady, enjoying my meal without deliberately fucking around.

So my Cadets, who'd all kept their eyes on me like they thought I didn't notice, were more than a little shook when the me standing at Parade Rest in the Practice Yard fired up the old PA Spell and shouted, "WHERE ARE MY CADETS AT?" loud enough to be heard in the Dining Hall.

Never thought I'd get a 'WTF, Diaz?' look from the Headmaster and not be just a tiny bit upset about it.

But I was too happy about duBois' smile and nod of respect to be anything else.