You’re My Idiot
So, after getting into a comfortable position with my other half, Akane scrolled through the digital categories and past dozens of modern titles, her dark eyebrows knitted together in a concentrated frown.
Every few seconds, without turning her head to look at me, her left hand would slide across the cushion, her fingertips lightly brushing against the back of my hand in a casual, fleeting touch before pulling away.
Maybe it was a constant re-verification that I was still sitting there, but her touch always made my heart race.
Then, after minutes and minutes of scrolling, she managed to choose one.
"This one," she said finally, pressing the select button on an old, classic film. The thumbnail showed a grainy, dark poster featuring a sprawling gothic castle under a stormy sky, with two pale silhouettes cloaked in black.
"Vampires?" I asked, looking at the description.
"Yeah. Vampires. I love them." She replied, clearly amused to see that movie.
"Mmh... why such a sudden interest in bloodsuckers?" I asked, gently brushing the top of her hand.
"Because I happen to like the idea of biting, you know," she said.
She then turned her head, with her golden eyes locking onto mine, glittering with a dangerous, dark promise that made the air in my lungs feel incredibly thin.
"I'm not entirely sure it's safe to give you those kinds of ideas, Takanashi," I murmured, my voice dropping.
"Just shut up and just watch the movie, Dumb-Ishikawa." She hit the play button, leaning her weight back into the cushions.
The film was an old classic, shot in grainy black-and-white.
The antagonist was a vampire with a slow, hypnotic cadence to his voice, moving through the dusty, shadow-drenched corridors of a massive stone castle, systematically terrorizing the superstitious inhabitants of a nearby village.
It was a classic, and despite its age, it still felt like a great, enjoyable movie.
Akane didn't even wait for a scary scene to unfold before moving.
Almost immediately, she leaned sideways, her head finding the perfect, natural hollow of my shoulder.
She nestled against me, her legs stretching out across the remaining length of the couch, and her fingers moved to the front of my school uniform shirt, which I hadn't yet changed out of, and began to play idly with the plastic buttons, twisting them back and forth.
"You don't look particularly terrified, Takanashi," I observed, looking down at the top of her dark head.
"I never said I would get scared." She replied, snuggling more into me.
"You said you wanted me close because I'd be the one who's gonna get scared," I replied, enjoying her touch.
"Exactly. I wanted you close. Now you're close. Stop analyzing the mechanics of it, dumbhead."
"Okay, boss," I replied, gently patting her head.
"Mmh~ Good boy~" Akane said, while leaning into my touch,
Her fingers continued their lazy, rhythmic movement, tracing small, invisible circles against the fabric of my shirt over my chest, while I rested my arm around her shoulders, holding her secure against my side, letting her warmth ground me.
The movie continued, the low, orchestral strings of the soundtrack filling the quiet living room.
But during a particularly tense scene where the shadow of the vampire stretched across a bedroom wall, Akane's hand stopped twisting my button.
Her fingers slid down my chest, her palm flattening against my stomach, before her hand moved down to find mine on the cushion. She wove her calloused fingers through mine, squeezing tightly.
"Shin," she whispered into the dark.
"Mh? What is it?"
"Stop thinking about the garbage Kenji said to you in the hallway." She said, gently caressing my hand as she reassured me.
"..."
I remained completely silent, my eyes staring fixedly at the black-and-white screen, the words catching in my throat.
"I know you're actively dwelling on it," she continued, her voice a low, raspy murmur that didn't rise above the sound of the television. She didn't lift her head from my shoulder. "I can see it in your posture. Your eyes have been incredibly dark ever since you walked through that front door tonight."
Her fingers tightened their grip on mine, almost painfully, a solid anchor against the current of my thoughts.
"It's not worth the energy," she said firmly. "He is entirely unworthy of your thoughts. He is unworthy of your time. He is completely unworthy of you."
"I know," I whispered, the admission heavy in my chest. "I already know that..." I sighed.
"Then why are you still letting those words sit in your head?" Akane asked, her voice softening.
'Because seven years of systematic manipulation don't simply evaporate in a single afternoon,' I wanted to tell her. 'Because every time the room goes quiet, a small, pathetic part of my brain still replays the image of Kenji's smug smile while he told me that Kurone laughed at my childhood promise. Because the raw, physical disgust of knowing she was sleeping with him while I was dying on that roof still feels like a physical weight in my stomach.'
Instead, I let out a long breath and said, "Because I'm human, Akane. I can't just turn it off like a switch, you know."
Akane shifted her weight, pulling her head back from my shoulder so she could look directly into my eyes. Her golden irises were intense, burning with a sudden, absolute determination.
"Then I am going to completely distract you," she decided.
And without waiting for my permission, she simply started talking.
She didn't talk about school or the upcoming festival, and she certainly didn't bring up her half-brother or the girl who had broken me.
She talked exclusively about the movie, launching into a detailed, analytical critique of the black-and-white cinematography, pointing out how the director used high-contrast lighting to create artificial shadows on the actors' faces.
She even talked about the dramatic composition of the orchestral score, explaining how the sharp entry of the violins perfectly triggered the audience's subconscious anxiety during the chase scenes.
She just kept talking, her voice a steady, soothing, raspy rhythm that filled the entire space of the living room, crowding out the heavy echoes of Kenji's venom.
And while she spoke, her hands never stopped moving. It was a constant, deliberate sensory distraction.
Her fingers would lightly tap the back of my hand, her palm would trace a slow, reassuring line up my forearm, and she would occasionally reach up and playfully pinch my side, making me flinch and laugh, before settling her hand back over my heart.
They were small, mundane gestures. Silent reassuring gestures.
Every single touch was a physical transmission that drowned out the past.
'I am sitting here. I am real. You are entirely safe in this room.' I could feel her unspoken words deep into my heart.
By the time the movie reached its halfway point, without me even consciously registering the shift, the tight, iron-like tension that had been locking up my shoulders since four o'clock had completely vanished, and my breathing returned to be deep and regular.
"Ohh, you're finally back," Akane said suddenly, stopping her analysis of the film's set design.
"Yeah, I guess so," I admitted, looking down at her with a soft, genuine smile. "I'm back. I feel much better."
She nodded once, a look of fierce satisfaction settling onto her features, and immediately dropped her head back onto my shoulder, her body relaxing completely against mine. "You're an absolute idiot," she murmured against my skin. "But you're my idiot."
"I am," I said, wrapping my arm tighter around her waist. "I'm entirely your idiot now, even though I'll never understand why you've been so sweet to me."
Akane looked into my eyes and stood silent for a few moments.
"Let's play a game then," Akane said, gently caressing my inner thigh.
"Mh? What kind of game?" I asked, actually curious.
In that moment, Akane leaned closer.
"Mmh... if you'll satisfy me in bed later, I'll tell you, okay?" Akane whispered to my ear, gently nibbling on my earlobe, before pulling back and looking at me with a lustful and mocking expression.
A shiver of arousal ran through my body as she did that.
"I promise," I said, quickly stealing a kiss from her lips.
"Oh, you naughty boy~!" She then giggled, before returning with her head on my shoulder. "I love you." She added, snuggling into me.
Those three words were stronger than the others, and I felt... happy. Even though I couldn't return them yet, my grip around her tightened, like I was scared that she would disappear if I let go.
Then, as we adjusted into the perfect position, the black-and-white film continued to roll, the slow, dramatic tension building toward the climax.
On the screen, the vampire had just cornered his first major victim, a pale girl trapped in a bedroom, the dark blood visibly dripping from the corner of his mouth in the high-contrast light.
Akane's movements had completely stopped, and her breathing had leveled out into a slow, heavy, perfectly regular cadence that vibrated against my chest.
Her fingers were still delicately intertwined with mine, her grip loose and relaxed as she drifted on the edge of sleep, exhausted by the day's emotional toll.
I looked at her peaceful face, a profound wave of protective affection washing over me. I reached over with my left hand, searching for the remote control on the cushion, intending to shut the television off and carry her up the stairs to bed.
My fingers had just touched the plastic when the sound tore through the quiet house.
DING DONG.
The sharp, sudden ring of the front gate doorbell cut through the heavy silence of the living room like a physical blow.
Akane jolted violently, and her eyes flew open, the golden irises instantly wide and alert as her body went rigid against mine.
The old, defensive instinct snapped back into her posture in a microsecond.
"Who the hell is that at this hour?" she mormured, her voice incredibly thick and raspy from the sudden interruption of her sleep.
I didn't answer her, but a sudden, ice-cold knot of heavy dread tightened violently in the pit of my stomach, a terrible intuition making my blood run completely cold.
DINGDONG.