Chapter 136 - Safe
After returning to their chamber and Lilith settling down upon the bed, another doctor was summoned to confirm whether it was true that she now carried a child.
Cassian’s shoulders remained tense until the words came that Lilith was indeed pregnant and would need to be careful.
Cassian did not leave Lilith, not even for a moment, fearing he might miss some subtle change, though there was nothing yet to see.
Lilith said nothing about his constant presence. She allowed him to celebrate in his own way, and though she did not speak, she found comfort in his excitement. It calmed her fears about the uncertain future, replacing them with a fragile hope.
Should she make mistakes, Cassian would be there.
Hours later, Lilith lay upon the bed, changed out of her earlier clothing. Her duties for the day were finished, and she longed for rest.
Cassian joined her, resting his hand upon her belly. He awaited the days when her body would swell, and the child would kick to show proof of healthy life.
Lilith watched him with tenderness. She thought of how much this meant to him, knowing he had spoken of a child they once lost. She understood why he clung so closely now.
Not only was her life at risk, but the child’s as well. Lilith did not attempt to tease or push him away. She let him remain, let him hold her, for she knew his devotion was born of love and fear due to his past life.
"This is working out well for me," Lilith said softly, watching as Cassian placed a bowl of fruits beside her. "I am not yet unwell or in a state where I cannot walk, yet I am being treated kindly."
"You should be spoiled," Cassian replied, lifting a slice of apple to his lips.
"So spoiled that you keep stealing bits of my food to check that it is safe. A royal taster has already taken bites. If you are hungry, you must send for your own fruits," Lilith teased, pulling the bowl away. "A man like you needs meat."
"I am not hungry," Cassian said, though his gaze lingered on the bowl.
"I beg to differ. Just this once, I will share the bowl with you, but you mustn’t eat so fast. While we are together, there is plenty for us to plan, like the day we shall announce it," Lilith said, thinking of the best day to announce it.
"We must wait until the doctor deems it safe. You are still a target, and many would try to rid us of our first child," Cassian said, plotting ways to keep her protected.
"First child?" Lilith raised her brow. "You speak as if there shall be more. Are you already thinking of a spare?"
"No. I am thinking of having children with my wife. You are queen to the kingdom and to me, but first, you are my wife and my family. I want children with you because we are a family, not out of duty," Cassian said, not caring about a spare.
"Hmm. I didn’t do well with siblings, but I suppose it will be better for our children. I have my fears, but I am certain of one thing. This child will not endure what I did," Lilith said with confidence.
This knowledge brought her relief.
Her position meant the child would not worry about food or wear old clothes.
Lilith’s own childhood was not one she wished to recall often. She was determined to give her child the opposite. A childhood filled with fond memories. In creating those memories, she hoped to heal her own wounds.
"Was your childhood good? I know that as the future duke you would have been spoiled, but was it truly good?" Lilith asked, curious.
Day by day, Lilith tried to learn more about Cassian.
"When I was alone with my parents, it was. Yet I had to be serious even at a young age, for the heir should not make the mistakes other children did. My uncle was always searching for fault in me," Cassian recollected.
"My parents made it special, but there were moments when it felt draining, for they focused so much on my future. I wouldn’t say I had a bad childhood, but I wished there had been less pressure. For fewer eyes watching, waiting to point out my mistakes," Cassian admitted.
"I understand. This child will be heir to a kingdom. We must protect them far more than your parents did with you. We can do it. Perhaps I should return to my studies of poisons," Lilith said, but regretted it instantly when she saw Cassian’s expression darken.
"You must stay away from poisons, Lilith. I will shield you and add more guards to your side. You and this child will remain protected. I will not fail you this time," Cassian promised, dreading history repeating itself.
"You will not fail us. You haven’t failed me thus far. I hate to break this moment we’ve fallen into, but I am tired and need to rest. If I do not rest now, I know I will be forced to take medicine later for making myself ill," Lilith said, raising her hand to her mouth to hide a yawn.
Cassian sat up, giving her space. "Rest. I will be here in the chamber."
He adjusted her surroundings, pulling the blanket over her and fixing her pillow. He searched beneath it for her dagger, worried it might harm her, but could not find it without disturbing her.
"Lilith, are you lying upon your dagger?" Cassian asked with concern.
"I moved it back to your weapons since there’s no need for me to keep it under my pillow. There is no danger here," Lilith said, revealing her trust.
Cassian stared at her, surprised yet deeply moved. He welcomed the knowledge that she placed her safety in his hands, believing he would never harm her. This tiny action meant more to Cassian than Lilith realised.