Chapter 135 - Secret
"Wait, when did you feel sick?" Cassian asked, realising that he had been unaware until now.
Cassian had given Lilith special attention since her past scare. How did she succeed in keeping this secret from him?
Lilith’s fingers brushed against Cassian’s cheek to distract him. "Stay focused. Do not let your mind wander to what isn’t important now."
"You were trying to avoid having more medicine. You do know the doctors will be providing you with more to keep you strong for both you and the child," Cassian said, smiling as Lilith rested her head against his chest. "You cannot escape it."
Lilith groaned, the thought of medicine souring her mood. "You must find a way to make it taste better."
"I’m not an expert when it comes to medicine. It’s either the medicine or the broth they brew. The latter isn’t any better," Cassian replied, wishing he had better offers, but he didn’t.
"I don’t want either one. What are the chances I will be so well that I don’t need any?" Lilith asked, though she knew deep down she wouldn’t be so fortunate. "I am tired of it all."
"But we want this child," Cassian said, his hand brushing tenderly across her belly. "We must be careful. I can take the medicine with you. I will be at your side every step of the way."
"There isn’t a need for you to take the medicine with me, but you can drink the broth in my place."
"Is that what you’ve been making Mary do? Drink the broth when I’m not looking?" Cassian asked, confirming his suspicions.
Lilith gasped, her hand pressed dramatically to her chest. "You would accuse your lovely wife of not drinking her medicine and having Mary do it?"
"Yes," Cassian replied simply.
Lilith dropped her hand, surrendering. "It was part of her punishment. Why don’t we have the doctor brew you some of his strange broth and see how much you like it? I bet that in no time, you’ll be making your soldiers drink it."
"I feel faint," Lilith murmured, attempting to change the subject.
"That’s not going to work on me," Cassian said, though he slipped his arm around her waist to steady her.
Lilith pouted.
"Did you run all the way here to see me?" Cassian asked, abandoning his plans for the day.
"I walked all the way here. I thought it only right to let you know the news before anyone else. This has shown me that we are far too busy with our duties and not paying attention to each other," Lilith pointed out.
She continued, "I should have noticed sooner that I hadn’t bled. Worse still, our servants are so busy they didn’t notice. I am going to take a break from some of my duties. It was already stressful to keep up with them, but now I can’t take the risk."
"I will take on what you must stop and try to be at your side more. I’ll let Eric take charge of training the young men and deal with matters of the court quickly," Cassian said, already planning. "We must place reliable people to aid us."
"I could let Mary’s title change so she could help more and be my eyes. It will all work out well. Now, if you would excuse me, I had food sent to my chamber, and I still need the water," Lilith said, needing the water to help her feel better.
Cassian clasped her hand with his and opened the door. "I will send for the doctor to come to our chamber. I want to hear him say that it is certain."
"Very well, but at the mention of medicine I might kick the both of you out. Allow me to enjoy this day without thinking of awful medicine or the pain and discomfort I might face in the future. Let me enjoy the day," Lilith pleaded, desperate to go one day without medicine.
"I am already worried if I can provide the warmth a child needs. I thought of having an heir, but I didn’t think thoroughly of how I would be as a mother. It is a frightening thought," Lilith confessed.
"Lilith," Cassian cupped her face in his palm. "I have watched you play with the children at the orphanage. The warmth and love are there, but it is your fear and trauma that hold you back. I promise you, as the months go on, that will change."
"When the baby is here, I’ve heard that some of your worries go away, and as you learn, you find peace. You shall love this child and protect it with every bone in your body. You have always been protective of those you care for, and this child is every bit of you," Cassian reminded her.
"Of course I would protect them well. Fortunately, I have months to prepare and let my guards down. I am going to eat. That should make me feel better," Lilith said, walking towards the open door. "I need to lie down for a moment, then we can send for the doctor."
Cassian walked beside her, holding her hand. "Tell me how I can aid you."
"By standing before the bed so I can get a good look at you. Then again, seeing that you are well will bother me. Why is it that you do not get sick? Do you harbour some secret for avoiding the flu?" Lilith asked, eyeing him with suspicion. "They figured it out in the future, didn’t they?"
"If there was a solution, I would have long handed it to you, Lilith. I do get sick," Cassian confessed, recalling the three times he had fallen ill. "But it is not as often as you, nor as serious. Unlike you, I go to my doctor the moment I feel ill. You hide it until it worsens."
"No, that is not it. I have not once heard you cough. You harbour a secret, and I shall get it out of you," Lilith said, determined.
Cassian shook his head, knowing she would be disappointed when she realised her reluctance to take medicine was what kept her sick.