Chapter 181: Sleep
Killian's POV
"She's in the garden."
I looked up at my sister, standing from the balcony of the art room. I had been at that art room but didn't see her. My last bet was heading to the warrior's station since she had friends there.
"Did you see her leave?"
"I came from there to here. She's asleep, or writing. I'm not sure." She disappeared from the balcony. "She didn't look happy though. Go to her."
"On my way." I quickened my pace. She seemed to like visiting that garden. I should show her the shortcut from our quarters so she wouldn't have to walk around.
The scents of roses and daffodils welcomed me at the entrance. A small smile crept to my face and I twisted the knob. Locked. I frantically nudged but it didn't move.
Did she lock it after my sister left, or did she do this because she noticed I was coming? "No, please. Don't inhabit thoughts that our mate hates us to death." Kaden begged. "Jump through the door and get to her, please."
My hands swept through my hair. Why did I ever think that having a mate would be the easiest and happiest thing to ever happen to me? Happiest, yes, but not easy at all.
She was a person with thoughts, experiences, and emotions different from mine. I grew up with the most unpredictable person that could exist and if I understood Kiera, then I had no reason to make my mate feel this way, especially when she also tried to understand me.
The lock moved, and the doors slowly opened. I heard a yawn and guilt whipped my chest. She had been asleep and locked the door for her safety.
"Do you need—"
"Yes, I want to speak to you." I ushered myself in. "I want to apologize for not having lunch and dinner with you yesterday. Elliot had been in bad condition and it left me distracted. I also understand that you might be hesitant to meet my lycan. That's normal and alright with me. I want you to accept every part of me but at your own pace." I paused and thought of any other thing I might have done wrong. "I am sorry for anything else… and you can tell me directly if I displease you."
There was silence and I counted the seconds. Then she yawned again. Goddess, please tell me she heard me. I felt a pat on my shoulders. "I hear you." She turned away.
Huh? That was all. Wasn't she still upset or worse?
"I was truly upset. I thought you were avoidant because I didn't want to meet your lycan but honestly," she sighed in satisfaction, "I didn't care after having a good sleep. Your apologies are taken but I was no longer upset."
Of course, a good sleep did more than I could ever do for her. I exhaled. "I am glad to know that. Let's just… try to communicate more effectively with each other, okay?"
"Okay!" She laid on the grass. "I was having a normal dream for once in a long time. I wish I could go back to it."
I inched close to her. Dreams only came to those that needed escape from reality. Was her reality with me a disappointment to her?
"Stop overthinking and live in the moment, dumbass!"
I nodded at Kaden's scolding and grounded myself. "What kind of dream was it?"
She rolled closer to me, her shoulders resting on my bent knee. "A stork handed me a present with purple ribbons. Excitedly, I showed my mother and she looked happier than I was. I think it's finally my gift as a seer. I can't wait."
A stork? Giving presents? I rubbed my neck. That's likely not a gift for seers. I rubbed my burning ears. "That's… good. I hope you get the gift, and accept whatever it is."
"Why do you say it like that?" Her demeanor changed. "It will be a good gift, of course. Maybe the ability to curse evil doers with a clear crime. I have always wanted that."
"N-No I mean… storks give presents but not related to seers. Or do they, according to your family tales?"
It was possible that my version of gifts from a stork was different than hers. Or the storks only had specific gifts to my people because that's what they asked with fervour.
"Yes, my mother had a stork gift me to her. It gives the heart what the heart wants. My mother wanted a daughter that could have the gift of a seer, and so she received."
Didn't that mean the stork just gave her a baby? And if the baby was already gifted, why would the stork give the baby another present related to a gift? But I rest my case.
"Also, my grand uncle got a stork present when his wife passed. She transferred her translocation gift to him." She added as a side note when that's what I wanted to know.
"I see. It seems storks actually give presents other than babies."
"Babies? Who wants a baby? I don't want a baby."
I swallowed down nothing. I mean, it's fine. It really was. We weren't married yet and she barely knew me. Also, she must have other plans for herself when she became the official Empress so it was really fine.
"Stop trying to convince yourself but then, you can't do anything about that unless she wants to. Make yourself worthy of it first." Kaden came again. I couldn't just breathe or think without him jabbing me.
"What about you? What are your dreams?"
Actual dreams, or what I hoped for the future? No, I doubted she wanted a rundown of my political goals. "I stopped dreaming since I lost my sight. I can't remember the last."
As Kaden said, being vulnerable and open with her could help us connect. She held my open palm. "I think you could still dream regardless of sight. Maybe there's a really good dream brewing for you."