My Life in Wednesday With a Vampire System

Ethan looked at Aqua after pulling her out of the water. She seemed relieved. Ethan wasn't.

What the hell was this useless goddess doing here? They weren't even from the same setting. One was a live-action superhero world filled with corrupt corporations and unstable supes. The other was a fantasy world where this blue-haired disaster somehow qualified as a deity.

"Hey, you!" Aqua said, immediately pointing at him. "I order you to tell me where this is! I need to return to the Divine Realm. I have many important things to do."

Ethan gave her a deadpan look. Important things. He knew exactly what her important things usually involved — sitting around, getting into arguments, drinking, complaining, and occasionally sending unlucky people into other worlds. Calling it important was generous.

"How the hell are you even here?"

Aqua put a hand on her chin and thought about it seriously. "You see, I found a crack in my room." Ethan already disliked where this was going. "So naturally I got curious." Of course. "Then I jumped into it to see where it led." Of course she did. "And then I ended up here."

She finished with the expression of someone who believed they had just provided a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Ethan stared at her. Aqua stared back. The ocean waves rolled quietly behind them.

The more he thought about it, the more believable it became. Not because the explanation made sense — but because only Aqua would see a mysterious crack in reality and jump into it without spending a single second considering whether that was a terrible idea.

"...Yep."

"What?"

"That sounds exactly like something you'd do."

Aqua looked offended. "It was a perfectly logical decision."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Ethan rubbed his forehead. The temptation to leave her on the beach and return to doing literally anything else was becoming stronger every second.

Aqua noticed. Before he could turn around, she immediately latched onto his arm. Ethan grabbed her face and pushed her away. Aqua stumbled back two steps before immediately trying again.

"You were thinking about leaving me, weren't you?" she accused.

"I was thinking about minding my own business."

Aqua gasped. "You were absolutely planning to leave me!"

"Now I definitely am."

"How can you abandon a goddess in trouble?"

"Very easily."

Aqua looked horrified. "Don't you have any pity for a beautiful woman?"

Ethan looked at her, then around the beach, then at the ocean, then back at Aqua. "I'll show it when I see one. Now unhand me."

Aqua froze. A second later tears formed in her eyes. "That was mean!"

"It was honest."

"You can't talk to a goddess like that!"

"I can. I just did."

Aqua pointed at him dramatically. "You are a terrible person!"

"And yet I'm still somehow more responsible than the goddess who jumped into a crack in reality because she was curious."

Aqua's finger slowly lowered. "...That is unrelated."

"That is exactly related."

"It could've happened to anyone."

"No."

The sound of helicopter blades echoed across the coastline. Ethan looked toward the horizon and spotted several aircraft approaching from the city. Above them, a familiar figure cut through the air.

Homelander. Vought had noticed the disturbance — not surprising given that a crack in the sky had just dumped monsters into the ocean.

Ethan looked at Aqua. Still standing there with tears in her eyes, looking personally victimized by reality. He seriously considered leaving her.

The idea became more appealing the longer he looked at her. But if he left her here, she would somehow make the situation worse. He didn't know how. He didn't want to know how. Aqua possessed a supernatural talent for turning manageable problems into disasters.

With a tired sigh, he reached down, grabbed her, and lifted her under one arm like a sack of potatoes.

Aqua immediately started flailing. "HEY! PUT ME DOWN!"

"Quiet."

"I'M A GODDESS!"

"And you're being carried like luggage."

The helicopters were getting closer. Homelander was already approaching. Before either side could reach them, space distorted around Ethan and both of them vanished, leaving nothing behind except crashing waves.

They reappeared several miles from the coastline. Aqua immediately began struggling again, kicking her legs and twisting around.

"Put me down right now!"

"Hey."

She ignored him and kept flailing. "Unhand me, you insolent mortal!"

"Stop struggling or I'll leave you here."

The effect was immediate. Aqua froze — arms stopped, legs stopped.

"...You wouldn't."

"I would."

She stared at him suspiciously. He stared back. After several seconds she slowly stopped resisting.

"Good."

"I still think you're a terrible person."

"I genuinely don't care," said Ethan.

Aqua remained quiet for almost an entire minute before curiosity finally got the better of her.

"Hey." Ethan ignored her. "Hey." Still nothing. "Hey!"

"What?"

Aqua tilted her head. "Are you not human?"

"You're a goddess. You should've noticed something was strange about me already."

Aqua blinked. Then she actually thought about it. The strange aura around him. The way he casually floated in the air.

"...Oh."

"Exactly."

"So what are you?"

"God of Blood."

Aqua's eyes widened. Then she immediately smiled. "Oh! Then we're the same!"

Ethan stopped walking. Aqua smiled proudly. Ethan stared at her. For several seconds neither spoke.

"No."

"What?"

"We're not the same."

"We're both gods."

"That doesn't make us the same."

Aqua crossed her arms. "It literally does."

Ethan pointed at himself. "I can erase a continent by accident if I'm not paying attention." Then at Aqua. "You nearly drowned."

"That was a special circumstance!"

"You're the goddess of water."

"It was a very special circumstance!"

Ethan looked at her for a moment before continuing to walk. "No, Aqua. We are not the same."

Aqua puffed her cheeks. "I still think we're basically equals."

Ethan suddenly understood why Kazuma constantly looked exhausted. After spending less than ten minutes with her, he was already developing genuine sympathy for the man.

***

A/N: And on Patreon, The Boys arc started.

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