Lewd King's Bucket List

Ixion (Pirithous) smiled while looking at Joe.

"Where should I start…"

Resting his elbows on the table, Ixion leaned forward.

"When I met her, it was the same day we came to this tavern. I hadn't known who she was then or of her father."

Joleen, who was delivering Joe's water, shouted:

"For real?! That looked like a second or third date, not a first. Especially not with that chemistry!"

Just as quickly as she appeared, Joleen turned and skipped away toward the kitchen.

David shouted:

"Piri?! That was your first date with her?! Why the hell did you talk about the darn King!"

'So, they were doing a little more than watching.'

They'd also been eavesdropping.

Joe slapped his hand over Dave's lips.

"Sorry about David here, he has really good ears and can't help but listen. Nor does he know when to keep quiet."

Joe laughed, then looked Dave in the eyes and said:

"One more outburst and no ale for a week."

Dave's eyes began to plead as Joe's hand pulled away, covered in slobber. Joe inspected his hand, then wiped it on a rag attached to his belt loop.

The corners of Ixion's lips curled up as he waved his hand dismissively.

"It's alright."

After a moment of silence, Ixion continued:

"Turns out her dad was someone who holds a less than favorable view of me…"

Mary smiled.

"What did you do to him?"

"I called him dumb once. Then kicked him in the shin and ran away."

Olave laughed.

"That sounds like something Maurice would do to a noble."

Joe's smile wavered for a moment.

Ixion's own eyes narrowed slightly.

'Someone close? Someone dead? His wife?'

Regrowing his smile and cordial tone, Joe said:

"Well, no wonder he doesn't like you. It's going to be hard to win his favor back."

Taking a deep breath, Ixion fell back into his seat.

"Well, that's another thing. I really don't like him, nor do I want someone like him to like me. Plus, Dia probably hates that man more than I."

'Who could like a father who chains, strips, and whips them?'

Dave jumped:

"See! Come on, Piri! Let's get to plotting this elopement!"

"Dave, no ale."

"Joe?! Seriously?! After all I do for you!"

"All you do for me? All you do is whine, shout, and scare off customers."

Dave began to sniffle, then broke into a full on cry. Mary quickly swooped in, hugging Dave and laying his head on her bosom.

"He said no ale, Mary! No ale! How am I supposed to survive?!"

Mary stroked his black hair.

"We can get some for you at the market."

"But it's not Joe's!"

'He's like a baby.'

Joe chuckled at Dave's antics, then said:

"You know I'm always joking, Dave. Why would I deny a man a drink in the worst of times?"

Dave's sniffles puttered to an end as he lifted his head.

"Really?"

"As long as you continue to behave."

Dave nodded and sat back up.

Ixion couldn't help but lightly laugh at the whole interaction. The bunch was indeed weird. But they were the good weird. Not the bad kind, like Despair and the Nameless King.

Joe looked back at Ixion.

"As for you, my friend… You seem to be in quite the precarious situation. I don't know all the details, but it doesn't seem one you're willing to solve without compromise."

Ixion's head swayed slightly.

"It isn't. Nor am I willing to compromise."

Joe looked over that the tavern door, an odd serendipity in his gaze, then said:

"Alright then, let me ask you this: Do you love her?"

Ixion stared blankly at Joe.

Joe's gaze drifted to him as he continued.

"I know you only met her recently. But when you know, you know."

'When you know, you know…'

To Ixion, that sounded like bullshit. As he didn't know. And if he didn't know, how would he know he knew?! Even further, how would he know he didn't know?! What if he'd already found love and his entire search was nonsensical. After all…

'How does one know they don't know something unless they learn it?!'

Ixion cupped his hands around the water, then lifted it to his lips and took a sip.

"Would it be a little weird to say I don't understand love?"

Joe smiled warmly.

"No, it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be weird at all. Nobody understands love."

Ixion's eyes widened a little.

"Let old Joe shine a little wisdom upon the youth: Love is defined by being undefinable. It's not in your head, it's in your heart."

Joe pointed at Ixion's chest — Pirithous' chest.

The chest of a hollow, long-dead man. The man who'd become merely a corpse lying unattended on a bed before long.

Internally, he sighed.

'So I've heard…'

Joe chuckled upon spotting Ixion's expression.

"Hoh. You didn't seem to like Joe's wisdom."

After taking another sip of Joe's Water, Ixion said:

"I think everyone's heard those words before — I have many times. Yet not once have I understood them."

Joe sighed.

"That's a shame. Well, what do you understand about love, Piri?"

"My understanding…? Well, I don't know if it makes any sense. But I see love as the appreciation and caring of something, even as it decays."

"My, what a cynical outlook, friend. But, sorry to say, from that perspective, that's the definition of beauty. And beauty has no bearing on love."

Joe looked back toward the tavern door, the odd sentimental look returning to his gaze. He continued:

"One can love something that has already withered and decayed — one can love something that never existed."

Ixion stared, studying the man's forlorn expression.

"I see… What an interesting outlook."

"Interesting?"

Josephine, the youngest of the three, appeared, bounding from the kitchen. Her shout brining their oddly personal conversation to an abrupt end.

"Your Joe's Dried Cod is ready!"

Ixion smiled as the pig-tailed girl set the plate.

"Thank you."

On the inside he thought to himself…

'Love…'

Just what was that elusive son-of-a-bitch?