Lewd King's Bucket List

Ixion lay in his bed, humming to himself.

He glanced over at the shadows.

"I'll be gone for a bit. Keep a watchful eye over me and Runa."

The shadows cautiously wobbled in response.

Ixion closed his eyes and let his soul slip from his body.

'Now, now. Let's go pay Joe a visit!'

This visit wasn't necessary at all, but he wanted to taste more of what Joe had to offer!

Ixion's soul floated through the palace halls and high into the air, blitzing past the walls and toward a convoy preparing supplies to take to Fort Lunara. It would leave in a couple of hours. But despite being sent into battle, most of the soldiers seemed cheery and excited.

With a little searching, Ixion found Reina and Illium lounging around the spearhead of the convoy.

It seemed they were still shadowing Julius closely.

Changing course, Ixion floated back inside Catatran's walls and found his way to Gwen's home — Pirithous' home. Entering the body of the blonde knight, Ixion reveled in the fact that there weren't bugs crawling in his skin this time.

'Ah…'

Instead, it was only the feeling of a half-frozen corpse slowly coming back to life!

After snapping his limbs out of petrification, Ixion looked around the place.

'Those bugs did a wonderful job cleaning up!'

Knowing he'd be using his Traits later anyway, Ixion used it to clean his body of any grime it had collected. Then he dressed and made his way onto the cobbled streets.

Ixion walked slowly toward the tavern. A fleeting raft of hope barely kept afloat in his heart that Dia would appear behind him again.

But alas, it seemed it was only Ixion's destiny to be popular today, not Pirithous'.

While the occasional straggler on the street leered at him, mostly with lascivious glints in their eyes, the platinum-haired beauty was not there — remaining chained in the dungeon of Drath's mind.

Turning down the alley, Ixion spotted the wood sign of Joe's Tavern swaying from a sudden gust.

'Why is it so windy today?'

Combing his hair with his left hand, Ixion pushed on the swinging door and stepped inside the cozy tavern.

When he did, he looked around and saw the usual crowd from before, minus two.

Of the five pairs of eyes staring at him, one of the mouths attached to those eyes shouted:

"He's back!"

It was Dave. He sprung up from his velvet-cushioned seat and began crying. Then, his head swiveled to look at the burly bald man with a handlebar mustache behind the counter.

"Look, Joe! I told you we didn't scare them off!"

Joe, with his mouth hanging open, set down the glass he'd been cleaning; a single tear trailed down his face from his right eye.

"I'm so darn happy…"

A woman with red hair sitting next to Dave shouted:

"Looks like we got a new regular! Come sit with us!"

Ixion paused for a moment, then looked around.

'...Why not?'

Sauntering over to the booth, Ixion slid onto the side opposite Dave.

The red-haired woman smiled, showing her missing front tooth.

"I'm Mary! That's Larry!"

Mary pointed to the quiet young man sitting next to Ixion.

'Her son?'

Finally, sitting next to Larry, a dark-haired older gentleman waved.

"I'm Olave."

"I'm Pirithous, but you can call me Piri."

Dave chuckled, then sat back down.

"Well, Piri. It's nice to meet you. I'm Dave! If you hadn't already figured that out."

"It's nice to meet you all as well."

Three of the four got giddy and laughed.

'They truly are a cheery bunch…'

In no time, Jojo had appeared from the kitchen and was pestering Ixion about what he would order — naming every item on the menu twice. She'd even said the mutton chops… Joe's Muttonchops three times!

In the end, Ixion ordered Joe's Dried Cod and Joe's Water.

Mostly because he was curious if Joe would even have a fish with how scarce they were nowadays.

When Jojo left, Ixion looked up at the burly man who had taken their place, standing at the head of the table.

It was Joe himself.

"Piri… where's the lass?"

Dave looked left and right as he shouted:

"Yeah, where is she?! Please don't tell me we scared her off!"

Larry pointed and whispered:

"You scared her off."

Olave laughed and added:

"It was definitely Dave's fault."

Ixion sighed and cast his gaze down.

Joe's head swayed.

"I don't like that look."

Ixion gave the crew a wry smile.

"You all didn't scare her off… Her dad didn't want us seeing each other anymore."

"That's outrageous!" Dave slammed the table and stood up again. "What father would see you and deny you his daughter?!"

Mary laughed.

"Maybe he thought you were a playboy."

Dave's gaze shot from Ixion to Mary, then back to Ixion.

"Are you a playboy?!"

Ixion chuckled.

"Nothing of the sort."

'...'

Joe motioned for Dave to sit down and move over, then sat down directly across from Ixion, leaving Mary smashed between two obnoxiously buff men.

'How are they so… fed?'

Well, they owned a tavern. But where did they even get the coin to keep the place open? With his fresh ingredients, Joe could only be losing coin keeping the tavern open.

Joe solemnly sighed, then spoke in his usual deep voice, rolling every 'r'.

"Piri, my friend. Don't you dare let such a wonderful lass slip through your fingers."

Ixion leaned back in his seat.

"I wouldn't let her go if I could help it. But her father's not your average man."

Dave let off a theatrical sigh, then said:

"A tale as old as time! Star-crossed lovers forbidden by class!"

Joe glared at Dave.

"Simmer down, David, or no ale for you."

"Buh-bu! Outrageous!" Dave spun his head toward the wall. "Hmph!"

As Ixion witnessed the idiotic interactions…

'Ah, thank god I had Runa steady my emotions earlier.'

If not, he feared he might have had a mental breakdown after experiencing such tender normalcy!

Tender normalcy he was destined to shatter and destroy.

Joe folded his hands over one another, then said:

"Now, tell me everything that happened, lad. And we'll help you plot how to win her father's blessing."

"Or steal her and elope!"

"Dave!"

"Sorry, sorry! Please don't take away my ale privileges! Please!"