The Mad Dog Inspector of the Martial Alliance

Beacon fires rise, and carrier pigeons come and go. Debates rage over the Martial Alliance's policies, and the backs of the bees are being crushed by the pressure of the giant hornet named Jang So-gil. The bees who were stealing honey are being caught day after day, and new bees take their place. The merchants who were connected to the bees are being caught by the Martial Alliance warriors, who are said to be scarier than the government office, and are being forced to drink Dujiang wine through their noses. And yet, new bees gather, aiming for the sweet honey of the Diancang Sect, making Mount Diancang a truly lively neighborhood.

"What a mess. My goodness."

The man walking around the market, clicking his tongue, was Tang Wujin.

He was currently at Mount Diancang, representing the Martial Pavilion, one of the five pavilions that decided the major and minor affairs of the Sichuan Tang Clan.

Countless carts came and went, avoiding the imposing him. The escorts checked their cargo and ran, and merchants shouted at those escorts. As he was watching it with a hollow laugh, a little girl came running up. It was Wujin's junior sister, Tang Wuyan.

"I heard it was a country town, but isn't this quite bustling, Senior Brother Jin?"

"It is. It's worth the effort. It's no wonder the elders are making such a fuss."

Tang Wujin had never seen the elders make such a fuss before.

The position of the Gold Pavilion, which said that they could use half of the family's budget if they could have Yunnan. The bold statement of the Harmony Pavilion, which said that there would be checks from the Five Great Clans due to the unreasonable advance, but it was worth considering. The Poison Pavilion, which would tolerate the use of up to grade 3 poison, and the Medical Pavilion, which would not spare any support. Even the Martial Pavilion, which wanted to gain real combat experience by beating up the Black Way of Yunnan. The five pavilions unanimously wanted to advance into Yunnan.

Tang Wujin had only thought of Yunnan as a remote land, so he was skeptical of the elders' judgment, but after coming to see it in person, he felt ashamed of his own short-sighted thoughts.

Contrary to the prejudice that it was outside the Central Plains, what was it really like? Wasn't it a wonderful land where vibrant people lived on a vast land?

His little junior sister, who didn't know his feelings, smiled brightly.

"By the way, Senior Brother, what are we here for?"

"Did you forget again? Didn't I tell you we came to protest to the Martial Alliance?"

"Right! ...But what were we protesting about again?"

"You don't remember anything. Where have you sold your mind..."

"Well, I'm always thinking about martial arts! I was secretly practicing breathing techniques when the elders were talking."

"Something to be proud of, tsk. We came to protest against the Martial Alliance's intentional neglect."

"Intentional neglect? What does that mean?"

"Ugh, really. If you didn't have a talent for martial arts, I would have kicked you out and sent you to another pavilion right away..."

Tang Wujin flicked Tang Wuyan's small head and said with a reluctant look.

"With the annihilation of Diancang, a vacuum has been created in the public order of Yunnan. This was a place where the forces of the Unorthodox Faction and the Black Way were stronger in the first place, and Diancang was just suppressing them with force. What do you think will happen if we leave it alone?"

"I don't know."

"The forces of the Unorthodox Faction and the Black Way will flourish. They are also seeds who have learned martial arts, so it's highly likely that they won't tolerate any forces other than their own. If the Unorthodox Faction and the Black Way turn their swords against each other, they will also shed blood, but the ones who will truly suffer are the people."

"I see. So?"

"So wouldn't it be better to have a force of the orthodox sect to reign anew in place of Diancang and maintain public order? The Martial Alliance is not you, so they know that well. So when we hinted that we would come here..."

"When you hinted?"

"They ignored us."

When he sent a letter to the Thousand Li Young Master Sima Hui on Mount Diancang, a 5,500-character reply came back, which was a very high-class expression of 'We'll take care of the Yunnan matter ourselves, so mind your own business.' And to the letter sent to the Martial Alliance Leader in Luoyang, a short reply came back, which was an even more compressed version of 'Military Advisor Sima will take care of it, so mind your own business,' saying 'Ask Sima Hui.'

So, in a dumbfounded state, he gathered information from all directions, and what was this?

Even though Sichuan was right above Yunnan, the Martial Alliance was intentionally ignoring the Sichuan Tang Clan and contacting the Beggars' Sect. And that Beggars' Sect, not knowing its place, had responded to the Martial Alliance's request and was heading to Yunnan. What was this all about?

The elders were dumbfounded. In terms of location, military power, and financial power, the Sichuan Tang Clan was superior to the Beggars' Sect. And yet, the one chosen was the Beggars' Sect.

"In other words, the Sichuan Tang Clan was rejected."

Was it because the sight of one of the Five Great Clans expanding its power was an eyesore? But even so, to ignore them so blatantly like this. No matter how much it was the Martial Alliance, they couldn't just stand by.

The angry Sichuan Tang Clan entrusted a letter stating their position to Tang Wujin, the next head of the Martial Pavilion, and had him head to Mount Diancang. And at the same time, they sent a messenger to Kaifeng to make a strong protest. The reason they didn't send anything to Luoyang was because they didn't have the guts to argue with the Martial Alliance Leader.

The family motto of the Tang Clan was 'weak to the strong, strong to the weak'. At first glance, it might seem like a petty and narrow-minded family motto, but that pettiness was the very source of the 400-year-old Tang Clan's strength. While many families who claimed that 'strong to the strong, weak to the weak' was the virtue of the orthodox sect fell and disappeared, the Tang Clan continued to prosper.

'Weak to the strong, strong to the weak' was the truth, the Tang Clan truly thought so.

"Anyway, we have to meet Military Advisor Sima and hear his explanation. At the very least, we have to protest strongly. Do you understand?"

When Tang Wujin finished his explanation, Tang Wuyan nodded her head vigorously and her eyes shone.

"Then let's have noodles for lunch today, Senior Brother Jin."

"...Are you even listening to me?"

"I understand. We just have to go to Mount Diancang and flip everything over."

"Ah, what should I do with this kid?"

"Senior Brother, I'm hungry!"

"Alright, alright."

He found a decent-looking inn and went in, but there were too many people. It was a sea of people.

Most of them seemed to be from out of town, as their clothes were not uniform, and there were many ronin who wandered around and worked.

At this rate, we might be seen as ronin too. Tang Wujin thought so and put on the purple magatama necklace, the symbol of the Tang Clan. It was a shallow scheme, thinking that if they saw this magatama with 'Tang' written on it, they wouldn't be treated as ronin.

Indeed, they were not treated as ronin. A beggar's child in shabby clothes recognized the magatama and spoke to him while picking his dirty teeth with his finger.

"What are the Tang Clan bastards doing here?"

Tang Wujin's face contorted. It was not someone he didn't know.

The man who had made Tang Wujin kneel at the Dragon and Phoenix Assembly, the Ugly Dragon Yi Dongpyeong.

The fellow grinned and flicked a piece of meat stuck in his teeth.

As he twisted his body in disgust, Yi Dongpyeong laughed heartily.

"Yi Dongpyeong-!"

"So, you Tang Clan eel, what are you doing here? We decided to take care of the Yunnan matter, so why are you scurrying around so much?"

"What! You bastard Yi Dongpyeong, can you take responsibility for the words you've uttered?"

"What about you? Ah, the part about calling you a Tang Clan eel?"

"What you're doing is an insult to our Tang Clan. I'll give you a chance to take it back now."

"Oh my, what's there to take back? Have you ever seen a beggar being picky about his words? And I never insulted the Tang Clan. I insulted you, you idiot."

"Yi Dongpyeong!"

"By the way, you keep calling my name, but we're not close enough to call each other by name. Let's call each other by our titles, shall we? Did you get a title, huh? You who failed to become a dragon."

"...!"

Tang Wujin's face turned bright red with anger. Tang Wuyan excitedly drew her sword, and as the Ugly Dragon scratched his butt, the people in the inn grabbed their bowls and ran. And a moment later, a crashing sound echoed.

"Kuaack! The crazy martial artists are fighting!"

"Run away!"

* * *

After finishing a mountain of work to some extent, Jang So-gil was just about to pick up his chopsticks. There was a knock on the door, and a messenger came in.

"I'm sorry to disturb you during your meal, Inspector."

"What is it?"

"A message came from Shuanglan Village. The Great Hero Yi Dongpyeong of the Beggars' Sect and Tang Wujin and Tang Wuyan of the Sichuan Tang Clan had a big fight, and the inn collapsed."

"What was the result?"

"The Great Hero Yi Dongpyeong won, even though he fought two against one."

"He won?"

"He broke Tang Wujin's leg, and Tang Wuyan's finger is broken."

Jang So-gil stared blankly and put down his chopsticks.

"Tang Wujin, as far as I know, is the next head of the Martial Pavilion, a martial artist who is counted among the rising stars of the Tang dog bastards. And Tang Wuyan is a prodigy who was famous in Sichuan. But to be overwhelmed even when fighting two against one, what is that..."

As Jang So-gil looked on as if he couldn't understand after hearing the messenger's story, Yang Gwan answered instead.

"It's only natural that the Ugly Dragon would win."

"Why is it natural?"

"To beat the Ugly Dragon, you can't fight normally. Because that fellow fights really dirty."

"If you say so, it must be really dirty, but to what extent?"

"Would you believe me if I said he basically rolls on the ground?"

"Come to think of it, you did say that he rolls around with the Lazy Donkey Rolls on the Ground."

Lazy Donkey Rolls on the Ground means a lazy donkey rolling on the ground. It refers to dodging an enemy's attack by rolling on the ground, and it is a very disgraceful act that is a taboo among taboos for martial artists because it lowers one's dignity. As Jang So-gil frowned, Yang Gwan gathered his eyebrows and let out a sigh.

"That fellow has no shame. The Lazy Donkey Rolls on the Ground is his basic move, so he rolls around on the ground like a pill bug to dodge, and when the opponent approaches, he quickly grabs their ankle and breaks it. If a finger is caught, he breaks the finger, and if a toe is caught, he breaks the toe. He's a demon of destruction who throws his whole body to break whatever he can get his hands on, so if you fight him, you're bound to break something somewhere."

"Ugh... I hate it."

"That's not all. If he gets into a tangled situation while fighting, he goes for the groin or the testicles with his hands or feet without hesitation, and he doesn't discriminate between men and women."

"Don't tell me..."

"Yes. If he catches them, he bursts them. If he can't break them and can't burst them, he pinches them. Then the flesh tears off."

"..."

The ugliness was beyond imagination, and Jang So-gil's mouth trembled. Indeed, it was fitting that he was given the title 'Ugly' (醜) even though he had placed second at the Dragon and Phoenix Assembly.

"For a Beggars' Sect disciple, he can't even use staff techniques and doesn't use fist and leg arts. He only uses a strange technique of rolling around and then breaking something if he catches it. He calls it the Earth Dragon Fist."

"Earth Dragon means earthworm. Does the Beggars' Sect teach that too?"

"Surprisingly, he says it's his own unique martial art."

"No, is it okay to send someone like that to the Dragon and Phoenix Assembly..."

"Originally, the martial artist the Beggars' Sect was going to send to the Dragon and Phoenix Assembly was the next branch leader who had been taught the Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms and the Dog-Beating Staff Technique, but, well. As you can guess, he got caught by the Ugly Dragon and his leg was shattered."

"Your expression is not good, did you perhaps..."

Yang Gwan let out a deep sigh.

His knee throbbed.

"Yes."

"I see. If the Beggars' Sect is sending the Ugly Dragon, they must be serious about pacifying Yunnan. At this rate, we can set aside the Sichuan Tang dog problem. He'll take care of it well."

Jang So-gil cleared his throat and calmed his mind. In any case, it was a good thing.

"Then I will be on my way."

"Good work. Please give my regards to Military Advisor Sima as well."

"Yes."

After sending off the messenger in a good mood, Jang So-gil picked up his chopsticks again. The noodles were a little soggy, but thinking about the two prodigies of the Tang Clan improved his appetite. Slurp, slurp, he drank it all in one go and a smile spread across his face. It was only natural that he was in a good mood.

Yang Gwan let out a sigh. It was because he knew what Jang So-gil had done.

"Kekeke. It was worth it to insistently request the Beggars' Sect to send their strongest guy."

"Even so, to wait in the village and then request them to smash the Sichuan martial artists when they appear, that's a bit..."

"But it would be troublesome if those guys came up to Mount Diancang. It's easier to just smash them in the initial stage."

Anyway, with this, he won't have to see the Sichuan Tang Clan. Jang So-gil slapped his knee and laughed out loud.

"His leg is broken, serves him right!"

"Young Master So..."

"Why is the food so delicious today! Uahahaha!"

(End of Chapter)