Master of Minds, Master of Me

I’m so worried about Felix. Something is clearly bothering him. But he doesn't admit it. He just smiles and jokes about everything, clearly trying to hide behind all that.

I have a feeling that Felix is avoiding me. I mean, we see each other every day, but not that much. Last time, we spent the week before the engagement party glued together. Not now. Not anymore.

The morning after we had sex in the Throne room was the only night we slept together. In the morning, Felix gazed at all the marks on me. My throat, wrists, waist, and ass took most of the damage. I saw the heat and satisfaction in his eyes back then. Just seeing that made me squirm under his watchful eyes, wanting him again despite my sore body. His hand crept to my throat. I flinched from the pain when he choked me. And then he suddenly just withdrew in minor shock.

He started to apologize for hurting me, assuring me that he didn't want to hurt me. He spread healing ointment everywhere. I tried to tell him that I didn't care. That I liked it. But he didn't listen to me at all.

After that, he started to train even more. And we haven't had any sex either. I’ve tried to talk about it, but he just assures me that everything is fine and there is nothing to worry about. That he will get his mana back under control eventually, and after that, we can spend more time together.

So I have tried my best to give him space and do what he wishes. Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s the right decision. We were supposed to stick together. Face our problems together. But we are not doing that since he keeps pushing me away. I hate it. But I don't want to cause him more pain or problems by demanding his company either.

I guess the tables have really turned. I’m not hiding anything from him anymore; he is. And I don’t know what I could do to make him talk to me. It’s frustrating.

But today is going to be our day. It’s our engagement party, and I will push all the negative thoughts away and make sure this day is perfect. I did screw up the last engagement party after all. Big time.

I stare at myself in the mirror. I hardly recognize myself. My hair is tight in a bun; there is more jewelry in my hair than I even own myself. There is even a little tiara. My red dress is so shiny that I bet it costs more than my family’s home. It has long sleeves, and it covers my neck too. We had to choose a dress that covered all my bruises.

The makeup makes me look more mature. Even I can admit that I look beautiful. But I still look weird. I’m so used to looking plain that I don't think all this suits me. Will Felix think I look weird?

Knock knock.

“Is my pretty flower all ready?” Felix’s voice is cheerful.

“Umm… Yes. Come in.”

Felix opens the door, and I fiddle with my fingers nervously while still looking at the mirror. He walks behind me, and I look at his reflection. He looks so perfect, as always. I feel the butterflies in my stomach go wild.

He wraps his hands around me, hugging me from behind.

“You look stunning, Lo.”

“Don't you think I look weird?”

He narrows his eyes, inspecting me while his hands wander over my dress.

“I do think it’s weird.”

“What?” I blurt out, a little shocked. So I really do look weird?

He lowers his head to my neck.

“It’s so weird that no matter what you wear, you always look like the most beautiful being that ever existed. And it’s so weird that no matter how beautiful the dress you wear is, I can't help but imagine sliding it off and dropping it on the floor.”

I clench my legs. Does that mean that we can finally have sex today? I want to kiss him so much, but I can't risk ruining my makeup.

“Will you? Slide it off from me, I mean.”

I feel the hope inside me rising. I can already imagine his touch all over me. His lips brush against my neck.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

He withdraws, and I let out a sigh. He really is the worst teaser that ever existed.

“Jerk,” I whisper under my breath while turning to face him.

He just smiles at me smugly. He reaches his hand toward me.

“Shall we go, my pretty flower?”

He really looks like Prince Charming. He is utterly perfect. Straight out of a fairy tale. I give my hand to him while bowing elegantly.

“Yes. I would follow my Prince Charming anywhere.”

“Oh, you think I’m charming?”

We start heading out of my room, and I wrap my arm around his.

“Well, you can be. Not always, but sometimes. And I prefer it that way. I do love your uncharming side too.”

He chuckles, and my chest tightens.

“I’m one lucky man then.”

We follow one maid, and I’m starting to get nervous.

“You okay, Lo?”

“Yes, I’m just nervous about all the attention. Afraid that I’ll look stupid or something.”

“There is nothing to worry about. I managed to get there a perfect distraction.”

“A distraction? What distraction?”

He looks so pleased with himself.

“Remember when I invited Florentia to come as Theodore’s plus one?”

“Yes?”

I’m honestly so excited to see them together today. Maybe their little love story will develop even more.

“Well, I decided to make them my honorary guests.”

My eyes widen. “You did?! Aren’t you afraid that people will despise that? I mean, people still don't think highly of Florentia.”

“I know. I have many reasons for doing that. I need to strengthen my position as Crown Prince. So I’m going to let everyone know that Theodore is on my side. That will definitely make everyone think twice before trying to cross me. Especially after Duke Callum is gone. Everyone knows how strong an ally Theodore is.”

“Okay, what other reasons do you have?”

“I really want everyone to believe that Florentia is a good person. And making her my honorary guest will definitely show how close I am with her, and that I trust her. I also plan to tell them that it was because of her that we acquired peace.”

“That’s very nice of you.”

“Well, I am an extremely nice person. But I also benefit from the fact that they come together.”

“How?”

“Because everyone’s eyes are going to be on them. Not us. The fact that Theodore is going to attend a party with a woman? It’s like a miracle has happened. He is the most eligible bachelor after all. All the women want to be with him.”

“Not all,” I point out.

He chuckles. “Well, almost all women. Lucky for me. Solely the fact that he comes with a woman is shocking. But the woman being Florentia? The enemy’s daughter? That’s like the news of the century. So I’m pretty sure we can just be at ease as they steal the attention. So don’t worry too much.”

I just stare at him as we halt before the double doors that lead to the ballroom. I still can't believe how much he thinks of me and does for me.

“Are you sure that you are okay with that? That you are not the center of attention? It’s your engagement party too.”

“Yes. I don't care about the attention. I have never cared for that. All I want is for everyone to know that you are my fiancée. That’s it. After that, I would much rather just ditch the party and sneak out with you.”

“Sneaking out definitely sounds very tempting.”

And then the announcement of our arrival rings out, and the doors open. My muscles tense as I lay my eyes on the huge ballroom. It’s ridiculously huge and fancy. There are so many people just staring at us. My mouth feels dry, and my hands are sweaty.

“Lo?”

I look at Felix, who looks at me so warmly that my heart might burst out of my chest at any moment. Just seeing him makes my body relax. And I smile back at him.

“I’m okay. Only because you are at my side.”

We start walking down the stairs. I see Master Loneflare and Florentia standing in the back. Master Loneflare just stares at the woman by his side. I wonder whether they have already confessed their feelings for each other.

When we reach the middle of the room, I turn to face Felix, and we bow to each other before starting to dance. We didn’t practise much, but I’m lucky that Felix is such a great dancer. He leads me so effortlessly that even I think our dance looks pretty decent.

A sudden chuckle draws our attention, and we both immediately turn our gazes toward the sound. Master Loneflare is laughing. And everyone in the ballroom looks at him, shocked. I guess Felix really was right that they would be the perfect distraction.

Felix’s hand tightens on my waist as he pulls me closer. I shift my focus back to him.

“Should I be jealous?” he smirks.

“For what?”

“That you are looking at my best friend and not me?”

I roll my eyes at him; he really is utterly hopeless sometimes.

“I assure you that Master Loneflare would probably be the last person I would ever look at like that. I’m just glad that their little romance seems to be building quite nicely.”

“I hope so. I’m pretty sure that Florentia has already fallen for him.”

“You are? Why?”

“When I gave the invitation to the engagement party, Florentia was clearly very happy that she would attend with Theodore. The affection was clearly there. But Theodore ruined it. He convinced her that she should attend only because it would serve as a learning experience and nothing more. Her mind plummeted after that, clearly disappointed that Theodore didn’t have the same thoughts about attending together as she had.”

“No! I can’t believe him! How could he say that! If he keeps acting like that, they will never end up together. Did he even realize the mistake he made?”

“No. Not at all. I was trying to give advice, telling him what I sensed. But he wasn’t willing to listen to me. So I just told him that I have a feeling he upset Florentia. Hopefully, he figured out what I meant by that.”

“Ugh. He is so frustrating. Maybe Florentia is better off without him. I bet she could find a way more stable and emotionally available man.”

“I’m sure she could. But I doubt Theodore would ever let her go.”

“Why not?”

“Because I recognize his obsessiveness. I recognize the look in his eyes. Because I had the same look. I would have never let you go. Even if you hated me, I would still force you to be my Queen.”

“Well, you did force me then.”

“True,” he says with a smug face.

“That is not something to be proud of,” I point out.

“Why not? I’m extremely proud of making an angel like you fall.”

“You know, Felix, at first I felt bad treating you poorly because I thought that God wouldn’t want me to mistreat a Crown Prince. You are a Royal, after all. But I’m pretty sure that you are so infidel that God would probably just reward me for being mean to you.”

I try to sound stern, but my amused voice leaks through. He chuckles at me, and my smile forces itself through my serious act.

“I’m proud that you mistreated me, even though you thought that your God would dislike it.”

“That isn’t something to be proud of either!”

“Of course I’m proud! I’m proud of how skilful I am with teasing.”

I roll my eyes again. Ugh. He really is hopeless.

His finger sinks deeper against my waist. I flinch. He lowers his head, and his voice drops low.

“You really should not roll your eyes at me like that.”

“Why not?”

“Seeing that makes me want to make your eyes roll while burying my cock deep inside you.”

My body tenses, and luckily, the music stops too. I have been so freaking horny this whole week that I’m afraid I will come just from the thought of him fucking me.

He keeps smiling arrogantly, pleased with his teasing, as we walk to greet our honorary guests.

Felix suddenly hugs both of them, and I freeze. I know he probably just wants to show everyone how close they are. But I don’t like seeing him hugging other women. I know Florentia is not a threat, but still. I just don’t like it.

We greet each other, and Felix holds his speech. I just stare at him, once again mesmerized by him. I keep forgetting how well he knows how to act like a proper Crown Prince. His voice, posture, and the whole air surrounding him just scream authority. But it’s a warm kind of authority. And he really looks so fucking hot like that.

Okay, I’m clearly way too horny right now. I hope this party will be over already so we can just get on with the sliding-of-the-dress part.

Felix settles on his throne, and my seat is right next to him. Just as I’m about to sit down, he grabs my wrist and yanks me onto his lap.

“Felix!” I whisper-yell at him. “We need to act properly!”

“Woah, relax. No one can see. You are just way too pretty to sit so far away from me.”

“It’s literally right next to you.”

“That’s what I said, so far away. Just settle there and let’s enjoy the show.”

I let myself lean against his chest and focus on the dance floor.

Master Loneflare and Florentia’s dance really is something else. I wonder who this Florentia person even is, if she knows how to dance like that. And seeing Master Loneflare acting that charmingly still gives me the creeps. It’s way too weird.

It’s funny to think that he met me for the first time today. He doesn’t know what happened in the past life or how much I have stalked them. And I hope he never finds that out. I’m probably dead meat if that happens.

When the dance is over, others join in too, and people start to converse with each other.

“Okay, let’s go.” Felix suddenly stands up, and I do too.

“Where?”

“Officially meet your family. I haven’t met them in this life.”

Oh crap. I totally forgot that they are here too. I haven’t seen them since I left for the Selection. I have no idea what they think of me becoming the Queen. We haven’t even written letters much this time. I haven’t had the need. I have been too focused on Felix. I hope they are not too mad at me.

But wait. Did he say in this life?

“What do you mean by this life?”

“Last time I visited your home before I chose you as my Queen. I went there to get them to sign the marriage proposal before I even had my father’s approval.”

“You did what?!”

“Was that a bad thing?”

Was it? I don’t know. Well, the fact that he forced me to be engaged to him without my consent was bad. But I guess it could be a sweet gesture to ask for my hand in marriage himself.

Before I manage to answer, I hear the happiest voice in the world.

“Siiiiis!”

Belia jumps toward me, and I snatch her and hug her tightly. I have missed her.

“Belia, I have missed you so much!”

“I have missed you too, sis! And I so knew you would be a Queen! I told you a million times, but you didn’t listen!”

“I know, I know.”

“Belia, sweetie, remember your manners. We are in the Royal Palace, after all.”

I raise my eyes and see my mother and father walking toward us. Belia withdraws and suddenly bows to Felix.

“Greetings to the little sun of the Empire. I’m Belia Helesantra.”

Oh God, she looks so cute while doing that.

She turns to look at our mother with a smile. “Did I do it right, Mom?”

“Yes, sweetie.”

My mother faces Felix too.

“Greetings to the little sun of the Empire. I’m Sylvia Helesantra, Lorelia’s mother. I’m honored to be invited to the Royal Palace, Your Highness. It truly is an extremely beautiful place.”

My father soon follows, bowing politely.

“Greetings to the little sun of the Empire. I’m Vincent Helesantra, Lorelia’s father.”

Felix smiles and bows to them in a way that shocks everyone who sees it.

In noble etiquette, it’s always polite to bow upon greeting. And the one who holds the higher position always bows less. The one who is lower in rank bows lower. And of course, since Felix is the Crown Prince, he only bows deeply when doing so to his own father.

But now, he is bowing way too low.

“I’m honored to meet you all. I’m overjoyed that you managed to attend our engagement party. The trip here must have been tiring. I have wanted to meet and greet you properly for a long time. And thank you.”

“Thank us?” my mother says in slight shock.

“It’s all thanks to you that I was able to find Lorelia in my life. And I do apologize as well.”

“Apologize?” my father asks, just as shocked as my mother had been.

“For stealing your daughter. I can imagine that giving up someone like her is not an easy task. But I assure you that I will treat her right. She is the most important person in my life, and she always will be.”

My cheeks flush as I listen to his words. A wide smile spreads across my mother’s face.

“Oh please, you are way too kind with your words, Your Highness. I had no idea that your affection toward my daughter ran this deep. It makes me so happy. And I don’t doubt for a second that you will treat her right.”

“Please, you are free to call me Felix. We are family now, after all.”

“Can I call you Felix too?!” Belia asks in a far too high-pitched voice.

Felix crouches to her level.

“Of course. Can I call you Belia as well?”

Belia suddenly jumps toward Felix, hugging him, and I just stare at the scene, shocked. My parents are shocked too, clearly not sure whether they should intervene or not. But Felix just hugs Belia back and chuckles, and Belia withdraws from the hug.

“Of course you can! I so knew you would love my sister. She really is the best, isn’t she?”

“She surely is. I do love her very much.”

My cheeks flush even more. I’m too embarrassed to even look at my parents’ faces. They probably thought this was just a marriage of convenience. I don’t think they guessed that Felix and I would really be in love.

“Felix, now that my sister will be a Queen, can I get my own room here too?”

Oh God. Belia really has no decency.

Felix just chuckles again.

“You know what, Belia? You already have.”

“WHAT?!”

Belia’s eyes widen so much that they look like they’re popping out of her head.

“I had a hunch you would want one, so I already had it prepared. Your family is staying the night at the palace anyway, so you are free to use your own room right after the party.”

I really can’t believe he would do that. And how the hell could he have known that Belia wanted her own room here?

“Felix, you didn’t have to do so much,” I say when he straightens himself.

“I wanted to. I have already told you. I would do anything for you, Lo. And that includes your family too.”

My mother suddenly grabs my hands and looks at me so happily. I think there are even tears in her eyes.

“Oh honey, I’m so happy for you. I always told you that you can achieve anything you truly desire.”

She has? I can’t remember that.

“Of course, I’m sad that someday you will have to move here and leave home. But I’m happy you found your place. I, of course, knew about your feelings toward Felix. But I had no idea he had already fallen in love with you too. This really is destiny.”

What? How could she know about my feelings? I have never told her anything about them, not even in my letters.

“If I may ask, how did you know about her feelings?” Felix voices my thoughts.

“Oh, Lorelia has had a little crush on you for ages.”

WHAT?!

“No, I haven’t,” I respond in panic. Because I really haven’t. Not until my previous life. I have never liked Felix. I was afraid of him. I thought he was some crazy murderer. Definitely not someone I would have a crush on.

“She has?” Felix smiles, far too pleased.

“Yes, she has. There is no reason to hide that, honey. You are going to be wed.”

“Please, I’m extremely eager to hear about this crush of yours.” He looks at me with a grin. Jerk.

My mother keeps talking.

“She once saw you at the Grand Temple. I think she was about seven or eight back then. She fell in love with you instantly. After that, all she ever talked about was your ocean-blue eyes and bright hair glistening under the sun. She even cut out every picture of you in the newspapers. She was so obsessed, saying that she would marry you someday. And like I told her, she can achieve anything she truly desires. And this day is living proof of that.”

I stare at my mother, shocked. I swear to God I have no memory of any of this. I really don’t know whether my mother is just jesting with me. But she never jokes. Not like this. And I really don’t remember my childhood, so I can’t be sure.

Is she really speaking the truth?

“I honestly had no idea that you had a crush on me so early. I should have most definitely visited the Grand Temple more often.”

“It was the time Vincent was appointed High Priest. That’s why you were visiting the Grand Temple.”

“So did we talk back then?” Felix asks.

“Unfortunately, no. Lorelia was too shy to go greet you. Instead, she just wore a cloak, hid under the hood, and followed and stalked you through the temple.”

Oh, please God. Please make me invisible. Please let me sink underground or something.

“Yeah, sis! That’s why I have always told you that you are going to be a Queen! I knew you could charm him.”

I guess Belia’s firm belief makes more sense now. But I’m still way too shocked by all of this. I kind of hope that I’m only dreaming.

“You really brightened my day even more by telling me that. I’m overjoyed. I hope you enjoy our engagement party. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

They soon blend in among the other guests after that, and I keep standing there, just staring into nothingness.

Then I feel Felix’s lips near my ear, and he whispers, “So your stalker tendencies really go way back.”

I turn to face him. “No, they don’t! I didn’t have a crush on you.”

“Oh? Are you saying that suddenly you now remember your childhood?”

“No, I don’t. But maybe they just misunderstood or something.”

He suddenly pulls me to his chest, wrapping his arm around me.

“I wonder, if you had enough courage to come talk to me then, would we have ended up together earlier? Because I know I would have definitely fallen for your button eyes then already.”

“I highly doubt it. If I were eight back then, you would have been like thirteen.”

“Age is just a number. Maybe it wouldn’t have been love at first sight. But I would have definitely been hooked in some way.”

“I still doubt the whole story.”

He kisses my forehead. “You really are way too cute for your own good. Will you survive if I go dance with Florentia?”

I furrow my brows. “Do you have to?”

“Yes. It will help rebuild her image.”

“Fine,” I say, gritting my teeth.

“Wait. Are you jealous?”

“What if I am? You already hugged her. Isn’t that enough?”

He pulls me into a hug. “Like I said, too cute for your own good. But I assure you that there is nothing to worry about.”

“I know that. But would you feel overjoyed if I decided to dance with Master Loneflare?”

He squints his eyes at me. “Okay, I get your point. I would hate that.”

He leans in to whisper in my ear. “I promise I will make it up to you later today. I’ll show you exactly how much I want you, pretty flower.”

He leaves with a smirk. And he flashes an image of him going down on me, and I can’t resist the heavy sigh that escapes me.

Annoying, teasing jerk.