Master of Minds, Master of Me

My pretty flower has been occupied the whole day with her exams, and I feel like dying. I really might die if I can’t see her soon. Yesterday, after dinner with my father, Milna escorted her directly to her new room, and I haven’t seen her since.

It’s Saturday, so I should have a more relaxed day. But work is just endless. Now that Duke Callum is gone, there is no one doing his duties, so they fall on me until we find someone to replace him in the parliament.

And the negotiations with Hilver are still going on, even though we got the bastards out. I want to make sure they stay away. Luckily the negotiations have been going pretty well. Apparently, Duke Callum claimed that we are hiding their lost princess. And since our relationship with Hilver wasn’t good to begin with, they wanted to initiate a war instead of just asking about the princess. About two years ago, there was a rumour that I was engaged to a foreign Princess. We had a Princess visiting the Royal Palace at that time, but she surely wasn’t from Hilver. And I surely wasn’t engaged to her. But Duke Callum claimed that the rumoured Princess was their lost one and somehow convinced them to help kill me.

Glad that shithead is dead now.

Anyway. Because of those things, my day has been pretty full despite it being the weekend. So I haven’t had time to pester my pretty flower at all. And I do miss her.

“Your Highness?”

Ted’s sharp voice brings me back from my thoughts.

“What’s up?”

“Did you listen to me at all?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “Your Highness, please try to focus on this.”

“Dear Ted, have you ever tried to relax in your life? Like breathe a little? Have a little fun?”

“My private life isn’t something I’m willing to discuss, Your Highness.”

“Of course not, since there probably isn’t anything to discuss. You should get yourself a woman, maybe that would make you loosen up a bit.”

“Your Highness, please. We need to plan the guards’ shifts now, since the captain is out on the monster campaign.”

“Oh, is that what this is all about? Why didn’t you just say so?”

I hand him the document.

“What’s this?”

“I already planned it. It’s all there.”

He looks rather surprised. “When did you manage to do this?”

“Ted, I’m not some slacker. I think you should have realized that already. I might joke around from time to time, but I always get the work done. So will you now stop ruining my mood?”

“Sure. Any news from the monster campaign?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is going smoothly so far.”

And I really hope it keeps going that way, since the last thing I want to do is go there myself and leave my pretty flower here.

“Good to hear.”

He exits, and I glance at the clock. 6 PM. Shit. When did it get that late? She has probably already eaten dinner. I dart up from my chair and head toward her new room, which is pretty close to mine now. I knock on the door, but there’s no answer. Is she not here? I spot Milna in the hallway.

“Milna, wait up!”

“If you are looking for Lady Lorelia, she went out to the garden.”

I smile at her, thankful that she is smart enough to know what I need. “Thanks.”

I half-run toward the garden but can’t find her anywhere. Not in the greenhouse either. Did she go to our garden? She hasn’t visited it since the time she found me sleeping on the ground. I go look for her there, and I feel my heart skip a beat when I find her sitting on the bridge, her feet in the water.

I walk next to her.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

She looks up at me and she… smiles?

Oh goddammit, that smile pierces my heart.

“I was just thinking about your illusion spell in the water.”

“Judging from your smile, the memory isn’t bad.”

She stands up.

“I guess I should admit that I enjoyed them. Thanks Felix, for leaving them for me.”

I feel so fucking happy that I can’t help but scoop her into my arms. She’s so cute that it’s literally impossible to resist her.

“Felix! What are you doing?!”

“Sorry, Lo. You are just way too cute for your own good.”

“Let me go!”

I let her free, chuckling at her.

“Felix, you jerk! You can’t just grab me as you please!”

I lift my hands up in surrender.

“Sorry, sorry. My bad. I just got too excited. So how were the exams?”

“They were alright. It was a little exhausting to take them all at the same time. But I think my butt suffered the most. It hurt surprisingly much to sit down for so long.”

Her butt? I can’t help but smile. I should feel guilty, I really should. But I can’t help being amused by the fact that she doesn’t realize why her ass is aching or why Milna offered the healing ointment. But I swear, I didn’t mean to smack her that hard back then. I just got caught up in the heat of the moment.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” I try to convince. “Do you want me to give you a butt massage?”

“No! Stop being a perv all the time.” She slaps me on the chest.

“Woah, woah. No need to get so violent. I was just trying to help your ache.”

“You are the one causing the ache in the first place, so stop pretending to be worried.”

“Oh, so you do remember the slapping after all?”

She falls silent.

Shit.

She didn’t remember, did she? And I just gave myself away. Stupid mouth that talks before my brain thinks.

Then her eyes widen with shock and realization.

“Felix! Is that why I’ve been in pain this whole day? I can’t believe you slapped me so hard that I still feel it! You are a total maniac!”

I try to contain my smile while watching her outburst. And soon, there is shame in her mind.

“Crap! Please don’t tell me that your slapping was the reason Milna offered the healing ointment? Are there some bruises on me?”

“Maaaaybe…” I try to sound innocent.

“Felix! You jerk! Why didn’t you say anything!”

“How would telling you have helped the situation?”

“I wouldn’t have let Milna help me get dressed if I had known! I can’t believe you!”

“Just relax. It’s not that bad. Milna doesn’t care. But maybe we really should put some healing ointment on it.”

She exhales heavily and covers her face with her hands. I wrap my arms around her and hug her.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“No.” Her voice is muffled since her face is pressed against my chest.

I’m just feeling so happy that she lets me hug her like this.

“How about changing the subject then?”

She nods against my chest, and I loosen my hold on her so I can see her face.

“So, since I still don’t know much about you… Is there something you want as an engagement gift?”

“Engagement gift?”

“Yes? We are engaged, remember? Or did I fuck you so hard that your memories scrambled?” I say teasingly.

“No.” She averts her gaze. So cute. “I just don’t understand why I would need an engagement gift.”

“Because I want to give you one. What do you prefer? Clothes? Jewelry? Books?”

She furrows her brows, her mind getting all messy.

“I don’t know.”

Her tangled brain really is sometimes hopeless. But then an idea comes to mind. Perfect! Why didn’t I think of this earlier?

“Let’s go. There is something I want to show you! Something that tells me exactly what you want!”

I start pulling her by the hand, and she follows.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see soon.”

We walk in silence for a while, and I spot hesitations in her mind. I want to push her to talk about what bothers her. But I give her time to sort her thoughts first.

“Felix?”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.”

“At that second meeting with the candidates… did you make me play on purpose?”

“Was it that obvious? I thought I was pretty sneaky about it.”

“How did you know I played the piano?”

Hmm… Should I tell her? Or would she just get mad that I’ve been looking for information about her behind her back? But I don’t want to keep secrets from her.

“Well, I did some digging about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Since you clearly struggled whenever I asked something about you, it was pretty obvious I couldn’t learn much about you directly from you. So I sent a few people to ask about you in your hometown. And they told me that you used to play the piano and sing. So I wanted to test whether you would be able to remember that.”

Her mind panics.

“Remember?” Her voice is low, almost a whisper.

“Don’t worry, Lo. It’s obvious to me that somehow you have forgotten your childhood memories. It’s okay. I won’t force you to tell me. But I do hope that someday you will trust me enough to tell me what happened to you.”

She falls silent, and I let her. It honestly hurts a little that she isn’t willing to share anything about herself with me. But I trust that in time she can open up to me more. I will earn her trust.

When we arrive at our destination, I stop in front of the double doors.

“We are here.”

“And what exactly is ‘here’?”

“Royal Vault.”

“Royal Vault?! Why would you bring me here? Are you insane?”

“Relax. There is one magical item in there that I want to show you.”

I place my hand on the door and let my magic flow. Only one with royal blood can enter here. We store the most precious magical items we have, and some things that are banned, like certain books.

The doors open, and we enter a long hallway. I keep holding my pretty flower’s hand as I guide us to the next door. I place my hand there again, and the door opens. I’m getting excited. I really have a chance to learn something about her. And since she seemed pretty honest when she told me that she doesn’t know what she wants, maybe she’ll learn something about herself too.

We enter a room and stand in front of the object I’m so eager to show her. There is a large sheet covering it.

“Here it is. One way to maybe open one more lock in you.”

“What is it?”

“Mirror of Desire.”

“Never heard of it. What does it do?”

“It shows what you want most in this world.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Felix, I’m not sure this is a good idea. It makes me nervous.”

“Are you feeling nervous about finding out what you want the most?”

She stays silent, so I lean closer to her, smirking.

“Are you scared that you’ll see me in the mirror?” I wink at her.

She is still silent. I turn around, grab the sheet, and pull it off. I’m looking straight at the mirror. The last time I looked at it, it showed me freedom. Me travelling, exploring the world, having fun and laughing with friends. When the palace walls start to feel like a prison, I come here. Just watching that imaginary scene somehow eased the ache inside me a little.

But now? I know what I’m going to see even without looking. But I look anyway, since I would never want to miss the chance to look at my pretty flower. She looks so happy beside me. Her smile is bright, eyes gleaming with joy. She clings to my arm, laughing. I look at myself. I look so happy too. I will do anything to make that future come true.

I could stare at the image of us forever. I shake my head. This is not why we are here. I turn to face my pretty flower, taking her hand. She just looks at the mirror in shock. She probably saw what the mirror showed me. I just smile at her warmly.

“I told you that I want you. There is nothing else in this world I would want more than you.”

“Felix, I—”

“No need to say anything. I know your feelings toward me aren’t the same, and that’s completely fine. I’m not hoping you to see me in the mirror. I hope it shows something I could use to figure out a perfect engagement gift.”

I pull her to stand in front of the mirror. I turn to look at what the mirror shows, my heart beating with excitement.

But then I see it.

And my heart drops.

It drops so deep that I grow still. The pain inside me is something I have never experienced in my life.