Master of Minds, Master of Me

I ate my dinner in like two bites. I’m just too excited to see my pretty flower. I know she is probably still eating, so I’m way too early in our garden. But I just want to be sure I’m there when she comes. I stay in the spot where we have always entered the garden.

Come on time. Move already. I’m not a patient man. I need to talk to her. I need to know what she is thinking. Is she still angry? Or is she going to smile at me?

I glance at the clock. She should have eaten already. Where is she? I sit on the ground and fiddle with the grass with my finger. Should I tell her that I love her? Or would telling her that only scare her away more? She clearly is the type who prefers to take things slow. So maybe a love confession would be too much. From now on, I will focus all my power on containing my sexual desires and acting like a gentleman. I need to convince her to be with me. If molding myself to be less dramatic or annoying or simply just less… me, is what it takes, I will do it. I’m going to do anything to have her.

I lie on the ground. Why is she not coming? The sun is already setting. Did something happen? Did she get sick or something? Did she get nauseous from the food?

Or… did she just not want to come? Is she still that mad at me? Or did she just forget? Well, just in case she comes, I will wait here until night.

And… she never came. I stand up feeling defeated. I walk back to my office with heavy steps. I still have some work left, so I guess there is no other choice but to sink into it before going to sleep.

But tomorrow is a new day. I’m sure she has sorted her thoughts by then, so she will come see me tomorrow. And of course I have lunch with all the candidates tomorrow, so I can see her then too.

---

Another day, another chance. I asked Milna what my pretty flower did yesterday, but she only stayed in her room. So hopefully that means that she managed to sort her thoughts yesterday. I’m heading toward the dining room, eager to see her. Eager to feel her button eyes on me. The maid opens the door, and I see all the candidates standing around the table, all watching me. All but one.

A stab in the chest. But she is probably just feeling shy or awkward, no biggies. I greet all of them, and we all sit down. She is sitting in the chair most distant from me. Did she choose to sit there? Or were they just assigned their places? The other girls chatter around me. I try my best to talk normally, but I can't help but watch her. Wishing she would lift her gaze to look at me. But she just stares at the food in front of her.

“Your Highness. If there is something my family or I could do to help with the situation up north, we would be more than happy to help.”

I force my gaze to the red-haired girl speaking. I didn't even bothered to learn their names.

“I appreciate the offer. But we have everything under control now. There were only a couple of buildings that needed more repairs, and they are already under construction.”

I shift my gaze back to my pretty flower, who is still focusing only on her plate. What I really want to do is use my magic on her and talk to her through my vision. But I promised I wouldn't use my magic. So I will not. I just need to be patient and wait until after dinner.

“I’m more concerned about your well-being, Your Highness. You are clearly wounded. It pains me to see you hurt like that. Are you sure you shouldn't be resting?”

I have always liked complimentary chit-chat, but for the first time ever, I would rather just not do this. Since my pretty flower is ignoring me, I want to get this lunch over with. I once again force myself to look at the girl speaking to me, who is some blond girl this time. Her worry is so fake. She just wanted some excuse to talk to me.

“It’s only a flesh wound, nothing major. And the Crown Prince’s duties don't wait for me to recover. That's one part of being a royal. You really don't get days off.”

Some of them seem rather shocked by my words. Of course they are. I don't understand how people just think that being a royal is all about living surrounded by luxuries and enjoying life. I wish it were that.

“I would have guessed an important person like you would at least deserve some time off after the battle. I heard all the knights talking about having some days off duty.”

“They do get some days off. They surely deserve it. But I think this is a perfect situation to make sure you all understand what it means to be a royal. We don't get days off. The whole country lies on our shoulders, and the country doesn't take vacations, so neither do we. So if you think being a Queen is just going to be fun and games, you are wrong. It’s going to be hard work, and it requires motivation and the will to make our country a better place.”

A lie. Well, not exactly a lie. That would be the truth. But if my pretty flower accepts the position of being my Queen, she doesn't have to do anything. I’m sure I can handle everything somehow. She can just tend the garden and be happy. Of course, if she wants to perform her duties as a Queen, that’s even better. But the choice is hers.

“A better place? I think Barham is already thriving so beautifully.”

I turn to look at a red-haired girl again. She clearly has a brown nose. And naive thinking.

“Do you honestly think there is nothing to improve? Something concerning politics or economics perhaps?”

“Our country is doing great financially, why change something that works?”

“You never know if something else works even better. Let's take a quick poll. Everyone raise your hand if you think there is something that would need improvement.”

I just want to tease them. I know no one dares to say anything negative about how we run this country. Not in front of me at least. But you never know if someone surprises me with—

My eyes widen when I spot my pretty flower raising her hand. She still focuses on eating, just lazily keeping her hand up. Everyone else notices that too, gasping. Probably shocked that someone could admit that our country is not perfect in front of the royal. But I could not be happier. My pretty flower really is perfect.

“Do you perhaps want to share your opinion with us, Lady Lorelia?” I say with a teasing tone.

She lifts her gaze and looks at the other candidates. She probably didn't realise that no one else would ever lift their hand. Her mind plummets into a minor shock, and she stays silent. But I keep pushing her.

“What part needs improvement?”

She keeps fiddling with her food with her fork while answering. So cute.

“Mainly the tax system.”

“What bothers you about that?”

“It clearly favours nobles.”

“How so?”

I mean, I totally agree with her. But I’m curious to know what she thinks.

She exhales more deeply. Probably realising I’m going to pester her until she gives a real, long answer.

“It really doesn’t take commoners’ income into consideration. For example, if someone’s income solely relies on farming, in summertime, they get great money and have no problems paying the taxes. But during winter, there is no farming, so no income. They are still required to pay the same amount of taxes then. Living conditions for commoners are already hard during winter, so if you add little to no money on top of that, some of them barely manage to afford food during wintertime.”

“Well, wouldn’t that be solved if they would stock their harvest and just sell it throughout the whole year, little by little?” I push her more, test her.

“If they could afford proper buildings to store the harvest, then maybe yes. But most of them don’t, so all the harvest would just go to waste. And nobles tend to be pretty aggressive when buying from farmers. So even if someone has the proper ways to store the goods, there would still eventually be some noble to blackmail them to sell the harvest to them.”

“Why would nobles want to buy the harvest so badly?”

“To sell it with profit during wintertime. Since they do have all the requirements to store it properly and sell it at a higher price in winter when there is more demand and less harvest available.”

I really love watching her speak. Especially about something like that, something that concerns our country’s economy. Actually, I’m pretty turned on right now. It’s a shame the room is full of unwanted women.

Unfortunately, one of the other candidates cuts in. “You make nobles sound like they are bad people.”

She lifts her gaze to meet the girl who talked back to her. “I’m just saying that most nobles don’t care about the living conditions of commoners.”

“And why should they?” the insolent woman argues back.

This time I cut in.

“Well, no one forces them to care about the commoners. But the royals do care about the commoners. Commoners are equally citizens of our country. So the Queen is required to have some interest in improving their lives too. And I totally agree with what Lady Lorelia pointed out. Our country might be wealthy, but there are many things we can do better. To make everyone do better. Not just nobles.”

The squeaking girl luckily falls silent. I lift my gaze to my pretty flower once again. And at last, her gaze is on me. Goddammit, her button eyes really are driving me crazy here. I don’t know why she avoided looking at me that badly. But I’m so glad she finally did. I smile at her, and she shyly moves her gaze back to the food.

The rest of the lunch continues with lighter topics. And I just keep gazing at my pretty flower. She actually surprised me. Her results during the Selection haven’t been that great. They have been average. And honestly, it’s starting to be suspicious. She is average in every single subject. No one can be equally good or bad at everything. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. So it got me thinking. Could she be faking the results? I have asked around how everyone behaves during classes. And everyone always says that my pretty flower always listens intently and feels present. Anytime anyone ever asks her something, she knows the answer. But during exams, she suddenly doesn’t know the answers. Maybe she was just so afraid that she would be chosen that she decided to fake the results so she wouldn’t be picked for the top three.

There really are starting to be so many questions I want to dig out of her that my brain might burst at any moment. But I need to be patient. First, let’s convince her to be my Queen. Then let’s make her talk. I do have a couple of pretty solid ideas about how I could make her whimper and confess.

After lunch, I get back to work. My pretty flower’s present should be arriving any moment now. I just wish I could see her face when she receives it. She is going to love it. I’m so good at giving gifts. Sometimes I even amaze myself. She is so lucky to have me for the rest of her life.

I managed to get a pretty good amount of work done. I eat dinner with my father, already aching to go to our garden. And once again, after dinner, I basically run there. I want to hear all about her day. What she thought about my present. What she did after. Did she have fun? Maybe she is so happy that she comes with that sunny smile of hers, and maybe even gives me a hug. Oh, I can already imagine her hands wrapped around me.

I go again to stand in the spot where we have usually entered the garden. My heart is pounding already. Of course, there are heavier topics to talk about. I really should apologise to her better about fooling her by being a priest. And I should probably confess that I was Max too. It’s better to tell her myself than risk that she is going to find out that Max doesn’t exist.

Time goes by, and I end up sitting on the ground again. She really is stretching my patience here. I soon lie on the ground, looking at the sky. The pain creeps inside my chest. Isn’t she going to come today either? She promised she would come to see me, and she wouldn’t break her promise.

But on the other hand… I broke my promise to her too. About me not seeing her for four weeks. Is this some payback? I guess I might deserve it. And I don’t mind the payback. The problem is that there is only a week left. If she doesn’t come to see me, how am I going to persuade her to stay by my side?

I could, of course, could start using my illusion magic again. But her words echo in my mind.

I really think you should not use it. Not if it puts you in danger. Or someone around you.

She clearly meant herself when referring to “someone.” I did grab her throat and shove her on the ground next to a fucking corpse, for fuck’s sake. Of course, she would be afraid that I would hurt her if I let the illusion mana go even more rampant. And I don’t want to risk hurting her. I mean, I do get pretty excited by getting a little rough with her during sexual activities. But I would never want to hurt her. Like really hurt her.

The sun has already vanished from sight, and slowly the stars come to shine. Would she like to go stargazing with me? We could just gather a picnic basket and sneak out during the night. To go over some hill and just lie there, watching the stars. And maybe we could do something under the stars too…

Okay, Felix. She is not coming. You need to just swallow your defeat and get back to work. Next time I should bring the paperwork with me. I could maybe work while waiting for her. I get up and force my body to move.

Why didn’t she come this time? Was she just so tired from today that she went to sleep early? Or is she really that mad at me? How did it come to this? She was so fucking cute when she shyly said that she could be my fling. Finally accepting the fact that she likes me. And then I went and screwed it up. Way to go me.

But tomorrow is Saturday, so I don’t have that much work. So I can be in the garden at other times too, and not just after dinner. Just in case she decides to come here some other time. I will just wait for her patiently.

I can be patient, right?